I am finally in my prom dress. Should I be simply excited or nervous? I have yet to get a hold of just which emotion to feel.
After my talk with Tori, and only Tori, I feel nice. Relaxed, myself, and definitely less afraid. Although not all of my fears have been vanquished but it's still far better than what I was feeling before. And talking to Tori did just that, helped me figure out which fear is my own and which are just something I have pulled from some imaginary direction. I mean I know Lee. I have known her for about two years now, and that's saying something. Granted, I always thought we were each other's best friend, but that still does not erase the fact that Lee is indeed my best friend.
As much as I love Liz, this time I needed just my elder sister. And only her. I might sound selfish, so be it. I do not recall having a heart to heart with Tori ever. Well, before I was too young to have a heart to heart. And now, well now I was too closed off, too much stuck in my past to open up. And let Tori in fully. It took so much time for me to be so relaxed with Tori that the only time we had a heart to heart is the day of my senior prom. It is ironic, isn't it? Well, I think life for me is ironic, so there is that. Liz did not even interrupt us. It's like she knew we needed to bond. Just us sisters. After all I will be 18 soon and even if I am not going to college this year, I will soon. Liz knew that we both needed it, because as unaware I am of Tori's feelings, I did not notice that she needed to talk to me too. Not just talk, as an elder. But a sisterly heart to heart, free of any form of judgement, only teasing allowed if any. And Tori did tease. Weirdly, I welcomed it just as much as she enjoyed teasing me.
Both Tori and Liz knows my decision to not go to college this year. They have yet to question me about it. I think they understand why I said, I need time. I need time to spend with just my sisters both Tori and Liz. And the kids. I need time to find myself again or be confident to just be myself again. After all it is not easy for me. And I certainly do not need a huge change yet again right after a big change. Even though it has been almost two years since I shifted here, things from my past have followed me. From my parents' accident being ruled out as murder to my ex-boyfriend being guilty of that crime as well as that heinous act along with the fact that he shot me. I mean weird incidents have followed me here, but I think I have finally got rid of my past. They are finally in the past and should stay there. I guess both Tori and Liz realized I need time to center myself more than finding myself.
Lee and her family meaning her dad and her brother, Topher are coming here. Topher somehow got here for our prom. Specifically, to see his sister go to her senior prom. I guess it is a milestone and Topher seems to make a big deal out of it. At first, we were supposed to go to Lee's house to click pictures and everything. Then Topher came and surprised the dad-daughter pair, thus putting our plan to shambles in just one sentence. 'Are you crazy to not go to their mansion to click pics?' One sentence. And here we are. Tori and Liz are excited to see us, and I am sure they will click more than hundred pictures. I am just afraid for my eyesight. After all those flashes won't help.
Lee arrives along with her dad and Topher, who were standing in the doorway hiding Lee behind them. It was silly but cute. And Lee's dress is breathtaking. A silver and sea green gown which she is pulling off rather nicely. Not that I ever doubted it, but then again Lee never wears things like this. Thus, my jaw open reaction. Also, I do not think I have ever seen Lee wear anything but her shorts, and t-shirt. Sometimes with a hoodie when it is cold. That's all. The times she dressed nice as far as I can recall, they included her wearing full dress pants and a button up. I just can't remember seeing Lee in a dress, especially like the one she is wearing now. Not that, that is a bad look. But this is just different and maybe that is why I am captivated. Not just by her dress, and how it hugs her body at all the right places, but also how it brings out her eyes. Her forest green fiery eyes are my favorite. Lee has also styled her hair differently, namely pulled it in a messy bun with two dangling strips. They frame her face perfectly. And now I feel I didn't put in much effort.
"Hi." Lee whispers once her dad and brother move away so she could come in.
I wave at her awkwardly. That makes Lee giggle, and instantly it makes me smile.
"So, you're not gonna say anything?" Lee asks as I continue to stare at her.
When she stepped in front of me, I can see her cleavage and her smooth, tan, long legs through the side cut in her full-length gown. Even though her legs are always on display thanks to her shorts, but tonight they are a little more alluring than ever. And now I cannot stop myself from imagining running my hand over it. And feel the smooth skin under my fingertips. Damn! Lee being dressed like this is doing things to me, and weirdly I am not afraid.
"Are you just gonna check me out all night or say something? Because you know it is your senior prom too." Lee is smirking while my cheeks start to get warm.
I put my hand up to hit her, then drop it without doing it. Because when she is looking this ridiculously gorgeous and mind-blowingly sexy, she does not deserve to get hit for making me blush. She deserves something, and I cannot think of anything yet.
Just like that I put a hand behind her waist and bend her to give her a mind-altering kiss. Because that is what she deserves. To be kissed like in some old Hollywood movies. Except instead of the guy holding the girl in his arms, it's me holding Lee in my arms while I thoroughly kiss her extremely inviting lips. When I feel satisfied, I pull back and help Lee stand up again. Lee and I are both blushing now. Lee just looks at me and smiles shyly while moving her gaze elsewhere. That was an unreal kiss. I did not think it would be this good to kiss her like this. Wow you learn new things every day!
"Wow!" I smile at Lee's sentiment. "Still no words, huh? Well, I guess you made up for it with that kiss. It was one hell of a kiss." I quirk my eyebrows at that. I mean I thought that too, but the way Lee said it seems like she did not say the full sentence and there is more to it. I would ask her as soon as I figure out where my voice went. Why do I turn speechless whenever I am in the vicinity of my gorgeous girlfriends?
"That sure was. Wow sis. Never knew." Topher comments. That makes both of swerve our heads towards him because we forgot about him being there and where we are currently. And that is not something we usually forget. It's something to ponder on.
"Do y'all kiss like this always? Because then you would give some people run for their money. Namely those movie people." Topher grins like a Cheshire cat with that comment. Is he proud of his comment or something?
"Can we keep it PG guys? There are kids here who are well now gawking at you both." Tori tells me while Liz snickers beside her. I roll my eyes.
"By the way Charlie, you are looking exceptionally beautiful tonight. I am sure Kris will compliment you some time tonight once she regains composure from seeing you in this dress." Liz compliments Lee and looks at me smirking.
I mumble 'har-har' very lowly. Yet Lee hears it. "Finally, I heard your voice." I instantly look up at Lee and stare at her widely. "Don't worry I won't tell anyone you spoke yet." Lee whispers to me softly while her smirk deepens. Wow. So, that's how it's gonna be tonight. I realize this as I look between Lee and Liz. I just shake my head.
Flashes. Loads and loads of flashes. Man can they not take pictures without those damn flashes. It is making me blind. Plus, I am not sure where to look anymore. I mean Tori, Liz, Topher they are all clicking pictures. Alex joined as well after picking my phone from the couch. She has figured out how to unlock my phone. It is not difficult, but it seemed extremely easy for Alex to figure out. Both my passcode and the pattern. I think it tells me that I should change them, yet I am not worried if Alex knows it.
Finally, we are out the door and going to the diner for our dinner. That sounds funny. From the diner we will take the limo which Jake has booked for all of us. This time for prom, nobody got the limo service like last year. And before I or anyone could, Jake booked one for the group. We are what seven people with three couples and Alice. I sort of feel bad for her now that even Danny and Jeffrey have paired off. I actually do. I feel like I have seen a different side of Alice after our car trip to meet Lee's best friend. Argh! Why do I dislike that girl so much? And why do I get jealous every time I even think about her?
We are the second couple to reach there as Danny and Jeffrey are already present and has reserved seats for the group as it seems.
"Hey, hey. Its Senior Prom baby." Danny shouts in a weird way. I look at him shocked as Lee snickers beside me and Jeffrey just laughs out loudly.
"Cool it down a notch babe." Jeffrey whispers, but we all heard him. As soon as Danny realizes this he blushes.
"So, how are you guys? How's life after...you know?" I ask them and then shake my head because honestly, I don't think I made much sense.
"Hey Yo! She is speaking again." Lee sort of shouts. Thank goodness the diner is otherwise empty.
"Yes, I lost my voice there. And now I am back. I get it. But could you blame me girl. You look like that; how do you suppose I should react? When you look so drop dead gorgeous and oh so sexy. Man, this dress is something else." Lee puts her hand on my thigh as if to shut me up. Her whole face is red.
I just stare at her, lost in her fiery green eyes which are shining brightly tonight. Maybe it's the lighting. No maybe it's the dress. Or perhaps it's what it is tonight. Whatever it is I just don't want to look away. But the annoying and persistent throat clearing made me look away. I frown as I face Danny and Jeffrey, who are both snickering at my well blatant display of irritation after being forced to look away, from my oh so sexy girlfriend.
"What?" I ask rather rudely.
"I believe you asked us a non-sensical question." Jeffrey replies.
"Shut up Jeff." I say instantly.
"And now you done it, Kris." Lee says. I look at her confused till I see Danny's frown and Jeff's sigh. Dammit.
"I am not mad. And I am not questioning it tonight. We are moving on." Danny declares.
"We are moving on people. That's what I am talking about." Lee suddenly quips.
Okay. This is weird. Am I imagining it or are they behaving weirdly than usually? I mean Lee usually throws in few 'dudes' in any sentence she says and tonight not a single one yet. What is going on? Also, Danny is not holding it over Jeffrey's head tonight and is being the bigger person and moving on? I mean I should be glad; I am but it's just weird. Does senior prom make you become someone else? Is this why Topher thinks of it as such a huge milestone? I don't recall feeling like this last year when I went with Diane to her senior prom. I should not be remembering anything from last year, especially anything regarding things with Diane. Those thoughts bring out fear in me, and we do not want that. Not again.
"Aww shucks! You all are already here." Jake says as he pulls his chair to sit. Then turns to June and pulls out a chair for her. Followed by scratching his neck. We all laugh at this. Because it seems like he forgot June was waiting for him to do that.
June just laughs at him with us. "Damn Jake! You forgot to pull your girlfriend's chair." Jeffrey says as we all continue to laugh at Jake's expense. He is just scratching his neck as he looks anywhere but at June.
"Lay off guys. He is just nervous tonight." June replies trying to quiet us down.
"Okay. Okay. But come on Jake. Don't be so nervous...." Lee starts.
"That the next thing you know you forgot June altogether." I finish as we again roar with laughter.
This time Jake joins in as well. "I have no idea why I am so nervous. It's like I cannot get rid of this jittery feeling. It showed up this morning and has been here since." Jake slumps in his chair.
He is sitting beside Lee on one end of this rectangular table. I put my hand on his, while pushing Lee a bit back on her chair. "Oh okay." She mumbles as I show my support to Jake.
"I get it. I am too." I tell him. Jake just mumbles a 'thanks' while Lee looks at me weirdly.
"So now that you guys are here as well, can someone tell me is Alice coming?" Jeffrey asks.
"And if she is coming with someone?" Danny adds. "What? That is the question everyone's been thinking about, I just voiced it." Danny shrugs and I follow him. He is right. I was thinking about it. While Jeffrey just looks at his boyfriend and rolls his eyes and Lee just looks at Danny and me. Jake gives tight lipped smile and June shakes her head. None of these reactions tells me anything.
"I have no idea man. Honestly even June doesn't know." Jake replies almost in a whisper, not sure why.
We hear footsteps just then. "Are you guys talking about me?" Alice asks coming into view. She is looking gorgeous with her midnight blue off shoulder short dress. "I am sorry we got held up. Traffic." Alice says as she sits on the other side of the table as Jake and June and beside me.
"Heya Kris. You are looking nice by the way. Love your dress, it compliments your eyes perfectly." I smile at her.
"Thanks, and you are looking pretty gorgeous yourself. Love the color combo of your dress." Alice smiles shyly at me.
"Okay. What's going on here? Its freaky. Don't you think so Danny?" Jeffrey says and then directs the question to Danny who is apparently busy ogling the entrance. Danny and Jeffrey are sitting opposite of us, facing the entrance. I turn to look at what he is looking at and then see it for myself. Okay maybe he is not ogling, he is shocked, too shocked perhaps.
"Sorry, was parking the car. Hey everybody." Olivia says as she sits beside Alice.
"You are Alice's date? How?" The question flew right out my mouth before I could stop myself. Lee just shakes her head but Olivia smiles at me.
"Yes I am. Well, it's only fair since she was my date to my senior prom. And for the how well it is all thanks to my girlfriend who could not make it and thus asked me to text Charlie's friend Alice. Thanks to Charlie's chat group, I had Alice's number. And the best part is Alice agreed to help me." Olivia shrugs as she finishes.
"Cool." I just mumble.
"Wait when was your senior prom?" June asks Olivia.
"Umm...that one Friday you guys had plans to go out or something before your exams. That Friday before Charlie's 'big meeting'." Olivia replies in an amused tone while air quoting the 'big meeting'. Wait she does not mean meeting the Millers, does she?
"So that's where my dear cousin went. Now it makes sense." June replies.
"Wait Alice didn't tell you guys?" Olivia asks.
"If she did, would we be having this reaction?" I ask again rudely.
"I guess you are right Kris." Olivia says as she nods her head a few times. "By the way I must say I like the way your dress complements each other." She tells us.
"Thanks." Both Lee and I mumble.
I did not think that. It actually complements. Mine is an off shoulder, light blue and silver dress. With my right side having some frills with silver borders and the left side my stomach has silver on the side. It's an asymmetric one side short and one side long style dress. And guess which side is short? The right. This was the sole reason I debated buying it for a while before just grabbing it and taking a chance. My friends know about my accident, and Lee has seen my legs. Maybe not up close unless she inspected them, but I do not recall her doing so. But now that Olivia is here, I am a little worried.
The evening proceeds nicely as we all chatter about anything and everything. Everyone was teasing everyone. We were all laughing and having fun in between glances. And those glances were not just among the couples but between Olivia and me as well. I have no idea why can't I like this girl? It's just something about her that irks me. But tonight, I am not going to dwell on it. Especially since my girlfriend is looking so gorgeous. She deserves my full attention, and I definitely should not be spoiling her mood by thinking bad about her best friend, no matter how much I itch to figure out.
Soon we are in the limo, and we are on our way to the venue for our senior prom. It is held in some fancy hotel and is at a distance from here. Not that far but enough for the now 8 of us to look at each other and pass glances. Some flirty, some questioning, some curious and some definitely 'keeping an eye on you' type. This last one was done by none other than Olivia to me. I am so glad that my girlfriend's best friend is so very good. Argh! I just hope this 10-to-15-minute drive is up soon and I get freedom from being held hostage in the same place with her. Suddenly, another thought came to my mind, we have booked a suite for tonight. For us, the friends. Would Olivia be joining us there too? I really, really hope not. But who am I to deny her since she is Alice's date?
As the limo stops and we get out, I couldn't help but notice the building. And it is the same hotel where last year's prom was held. I would have figured it out if I ever remembered the name of this place, for once. I still do not know it, and something tells me I will never either. No matter how many times I read it to remember the name. But right now, the problem is how should I act? Because Lee did not come to last year's prom hence, I assume she does not know. But I did. And I know I have told Lee countless number of times that I love her, she still feels a little threatened by Diane and my relationship. So now what do I do?
I kept my mouth shut as we showed our tickets and entered the hall. It is not the same hall. It is a smaller one than last years. Which makes sense as if I am correct, I helped them secure that one. Nonetheless I am glad that at least this is different. It won't be exactly the same place as last years. As then I do not know what I would have done. Except now I have to think about whether I tell Lee about it or not? And if I should when? I keep thinking these questions as we get our prom photo, as couples and then we requested a group photo as well, which now much to my displeasure includes Olivia. After that we are finally in. I have absolutely no idea what this year's theme is. It has some pictures and photos from our senior year. The décor is lighted all around. It is pretty colorful in all. But I don't think I understand the theme. But whatever it is I dig it.
Jeffrey and Danny were in front of us as we walk towards a table to sit and sip our obviously laced punch and wait for our food to settle before going to dance. They got to an empty table and smiled because they found one where all of us could sit. I think one from each couple will go get the drinks while the other wait for it holding their seat. As Jeffrey and I prepare to leave, I notice Jake and June finally arrive at the table, smiling. Their smile holds something else other than just the wow factor seeing this place. Maybe it is just a nostalgic look. Who knows? I shrugged to my own thought as Jeff, and I walk towards the punch table. I spot Alice there along with Olivia.
"What are you both doing here? Go sit with everyone else and we will bring the punch. And also send lazy Jake over." Jeffrey told them and pretty much shooed the two away. He laughed then seeing the fact that both Alice and Olivia, sort of ran from this drink table.
Finally, Jeffrey and I got four drinks for us and waited for Jake to arrive, who took his sweet time. We all balanced drinks not just for our partner but also for Alice and Olivia. It was a little difficult to bring them to the table considering our classmates, who seemed to be either drunk already or hyped up on sugar. But somehow, we managed to reach the table with all of our drinks and did not spill them. I announced our arrival with a 'ta-da'. That's when Jeff bumped my shoulder lightly to make me see the weird atmosphere in our table, which I did not notice. I was happy and lost in my mind, which is now replaced with a frown and a little bit of fear.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Lee asks as soon as I settle in the chair beside her.
I sip my punch and realize how much alcohol it has. It makes me close my eyes involuntarily as my throat burns a little. I whistle lowly just like my friends who drank it. After the burning sensation in my throats cools a little, I look at my girlfriend. "What didn't I tell you?" I ask as I clear my throat.
"That this is where last year's prom was held." Lee says casually. Anyone looking at her would think this is a normal conversation. But I know it is not. And I also know how much anger, disappointment and sadness she is holding in. I push the punch to her a little as I prepare myself to answer her.
"Technically not the same hall as last year's. That one was bigger, but yeah, the same hotel. And as for me not telling you. Well, I just realized it myself and was going to tell you after I got the punch and we settled in. Why does it matter?" I ask Lee, who is looking at me with widened eyes which are laced with fear and sadness. Why though?
"It matters to me." Wow. Just what am I supposed to say to that?
"Why does it matter Lee? That was last year, and this is this year. We are here at our own senior prom. We are together, not just together but we are in a relationship. So why spoil our mood thinking about last year? That's in the past." I tell Lee and put my hand on her thigh as a reassurance.
Lee removes my hand from her thigh as she looks at me. "But is it though? Tell me the truth Kris?" What? No. Not again.
"Lee, I love you and only you. So yes, of course it is in the past. I am done hiding my true feelings for you. We are together for God's sake." I again put my hand to reassure her. And this time I hold her other hand as well so that she does not push my hand away.
"Are you over Diane? Truly. Really?" Lee asks lowering her voice to an almost whisper. I can hear her voice breaking as she is asking me this and without even looking, I know her eyes are tearing up.
I hold both Lee's hands in mine as I turn in my chair to look at my now sad girlfriend. "I assure you Lee I was never in love with Diane to begin with. It was always you. But the fact that I actually liked you scared the shit out of me. So, I used Diane as a way to hide my true feelings for you. Now I know how bad that sounds. Trust me, I know. But I am telling the truth Lee. Please do not be sad." I rub my thumb over her hands as I hold it.
Lee nods. I kiss her forehead and put a finger under her chin to look into her eyes. They are still shining with unshed tears. But I try to soothe her by whispering, 'no crying.' in her ears. After about a minute or two she nods yet again, and this time gives me a small smile. "Are you okay?" I mumble into her forehead as I kiss it again.
"I am." Lee whispers. Then she sips her punch for the first time and starts coughing. "Damn this thing is strong." I just smile at her while she soothes her throat by punching over her chest lightly. Who does that?
What's odd is that's just such a simple, weird thing that Lee did. Yet, I find it extremely cute and a very Lee thing to do. And this is what I was hoping to feel in our senior prom. This bliss of pure happiness mixed in with nostalgia. While holding my girlfriend's hand, surrounded by my friends, feeling the bliss of being in our senior prom, yeah, I cannot think of asking for something more. Maybe to dance. Oh well, that can wait. There is time.