⇉ the one with another late night.
part forty-four
"You're leaving," he announces, not bothering with a greeting.
"I am." She kicks lightly at the gravel ground as she shoulders her backpack, unwilling to meet his eyes. "My parents are... they aren't going to change their minds."
"So, what, all this is actually real? They're really shipping you off to Freak School?"
She flinches at that. "I'm not a freak."
"That's not what I meant." He sighs, runs his fingers through his jet-black locks. "I know you're not, which is why it's so stupid that you have to go there." Even as he says the words, his eyes dart around the schoolyard, watching those watching them. "You should find a way to stay."
"You think I haven't tried?" She stands up straighter, looking him in the eye finally. "Of course I want to stay. With my family, with my friends. With you. But I'm fresh out of ideas."
He exhales. "It's okay. It's fine. There's a silver lining here, maybe. Actually, I think this place might actually be good for you, you know? You've been... different lately, not yourself. And it all started with this." He reaches out to wrap a lock of her violet hair around his finger and tugs lightly, an action that used to be endearing, but irritates her now.
"So..." Her voice is unreadable. She's not sure whether to be relieved that he's come to terms with everything so quickly or disheartened at the rate with which he's stopped caring. "We're okay?"
He hesitates. "Of course," he finally answers, haltingly. "But maybe we should... I don't know, take a break? And see how things are when you get back."
Even with everything, she's unprepared for those words. "Why? It's only going to be a year," she tells him.
He smiles at that, insincerely. "A lot can change in twelve months." His bottom lip is being chewed furiously. "There's a reason you're not allowed any contact with the outside world when you get there, right? I don't want to be the one holding you back."
She glances around again, noticing some familiar faces darting looks their way. Ever since word got around that she'd be transferring to Tangiso, people had been weird, their treatment of her going from friendly indifference to suspicious disdain. She could sense it. They probably all assume she's crazy now, but can she really blame them?
You don't get sent to a place like that by being normal.
And now she gets what this is really about. "I understand," she responds, speech formal and stilted with him in a way it hasn't been in a long while. "I wasn't going to ask you to wait for me or anything. That wouldn't be fair. I just wanted to end things on a good note."
He is silent for a moment. Then, "I'll miss you, you know. We all will."
She turns away, not in the mood for his pity goodbye. "Well, bye. I'll see you in a year."
"Wait." His hand darts out to grab hers. And just like that, memories of the last few months with him flood her mind: late-night convenience store runs, movie dates, holding hands under the table during dinner with their parents, stolen kisses by the bleachers after a game... Her heart drops with the premonition that things will probably never be the same again. "When are you leaving?" he asks.
"Tomorrow."
"Then I'll come by-"
"No," she interrupts, silencing him. "It's alright. You need to study for that test. Don't worry about me; I'll be fine."
His grip loosens. "Are you sure?"
There's no point in dragging it out. "Yes." She nods once, and whirls around before he can see her face crumple. "See you later, Hyunjin."
▸
Ironically, here, there is something safe about being outside at night.
Juno knows that she shouldn't be outside her room right now, much less out of the building. But she's made a bad habit of her night-crawling, and now she has come to crave the peaceful solace of that blissful period between midnight and morning.
She doesn't realize that her feet are taking her to the tennis courts until she gets there.
The memory of him doesn't startle her anymore. Maybe it's because she's come to accept the way she left things, but now she finds herself wondering how he's doing; how they all are doing. There is no way for her to know, so she settles for gazing up into the endless black sky and uttering a silent prayer.
She hasn't seen the stars out like this in a while. Maybe it's because the lack of industrialization hasn't hidden away all the celestial bodies yet on the island. They twinkle brightly as she stares at them, and for the first time in months, she feels hope. Hope that everything will turn out fine, hope that her world will remain as it was, hope that she really will be okay. It's a nice feeling.
The distinct sound of someone approaching ruins her peace.
Juno rises. Outside is dimly lit, so she can't make out who it is. She starts speedwalking back in the direction of the South entrance, but the footsteps follow. Her heart hammers wildly as she breaks into a jog. But she isn't quick enough, and soon they catch up, closing a hand over her arm-
"Relax, it's just me."
It takes her a second. Then she swivels around to face him, hands balling up into little fists to punch Haechan's chest. "You are so fucking mean, holy shit. I thought I was going to fucking die. I hate you so much. Oh my god."
"Wait, wait. I'm sorry," he backtracks, almost sounding sincere.
"What is this, some kind of revenge?" She's still shaken. "I swear to-"
"Hey, come on. I'm not that bad." Haechan shakes his head. "I just kinda wanted to sneak up on you, but then you started running. Didn't think it through, my bad." He extends what he's holding in his hand out to her. "Chocolate cake?"
Juno blinks down at the outstretched plate. Then she chuckles. "You have an issue."
"It's a coping mechanism."
She hesitantly takes the fork from him and has a bite. Her eyes close in delight. "What are they putting in this?"
"I know." She goes in for another bite, but he swipes the plate out of her reach. "That's all you're allowed to have as a peace offering, now shoo. This is my cake."
Juno narrows her eyes at him. All of a sudden, she points to a spot behind them. "Oh my god, is that Mark?" Haechan turns to look, but before he knows what's happening, she's plucked the plate and fork from his fingers and is sprinting into the building with them.
"Damn it," he mutters, and runs after her.
Much to Juno's chagrin, Haechan catches up easily. She backs into a corner, hiding the slice of cake behind her as he reaches for it. "Wait, hang on, we can talk about this-"
Haechan moves to make another grab for it, but finds out quickly that doing that requires his leaning in extremely close, and that's not what he's about to do, so he gives up. "Fine, keep it. But you have to share."
Juno blinks up at him owlishly, expecting more resistance. But she nods, and soon the two of them are trading bites of cake as they quietly make their way through the building's halls. He involuntarily follows her as they climb upstairs, not remembering to ask where they're going until they're halfway up the third floor.
"Yesterday, they said the List would be out tomorrow," she replies to his question, "and it's already tomorrow, right? I'm hoping it's been posted."
He casts a sidelong glance her. "Everyone's still sleeping; there's no way."
Juno just plucks the fork from his grasp and, with relish, finishes off the last bike of delectable chocolate goodness. The intensity of his subsequent glower hardly fazes her. "I'm still hoping," she says, and they continue on in a companionable silence. "You know, maybe we could've been friends if you were like this more of the time."
His brow quirks. "Like what?"
"You know. Not an asshole."
"I'm never an asshole. I just won't pretend to like anyone that I do not."
"Hmm." Juno pauses to throw out the paper plate in a nearby bin. "So what changed your mind? What made you decide I was no longer a threat to you and your best-friends-forever?"
Haechan frowns at the note of mocking in her voice. "I didn't-"
"What was it you called me, again?" She pointedly taps a finger on her chin, pretending to think. "Oh, right. A "troublemaker," someone who seems to "bring drama." What changed? I'm curious."
"Don't get it twisted. I still don't particularly like you," he says, and her lips purse. "But I don't think you're an inherently bad person."
"High praise," she intones, straight-faced.
"Believe me, Sherry, if I did, you wouldn't be here right now."
"Okay, first, I told you to trash that goddamn nickname already. And what do you mean, I wouldn't be here? What were you going to do, kill me?"
"What? No." He gives her a look. "Just edge you out of the group."
Juno smirks wickedly. "I would've loved to see you try."
His lips curl. "You might still be able to. That plan isn't off the table quite yet."
"Of course it is," she scoffs haughtily. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be here right now, eating cake with me." The Cheshire-cat grin she has on only grows when it becomes evident that he's got nothing to say in return.
A stretch of silence passes before Haechan speaks again. "What were you even doing outside?" he asks curiously. "At this time, no less."
Juno seems like she isn't going to answer for a moment. "Homesick."
Haechan cocks his head, willing her to elaborate.
"I used to play tennis competitively. It was a huge part of my life, and I miss it terribly." She sighs. "I guess there's just something about any tennis court, even here, that brings me peace. They're happy memories - seeing my parents at matches, teaching my... boyfriend at the time how to play, practicing with the coach - but they also make me a bit sad."
"I know." Haechan can relate; that much is true. "So tennis was how you and Hyunjin got together?"
Juno smiles wanly. "Yeah." Then she pauses. "How'd you know his name?"
He stops. "You told us. That day in the cafeteria, remember?"
"Oh, right."
"Also when you got drunk, you gave me a whole lecture on why you hated boys because all they'd ever do is screw you over, complete with a recantation of all previous relationships in chronological order."
"Oh my god." Juno groans, covering her face. "You're kidding."
"Nope."
"What else did I do? Please tell me there was nothing worse than that."
"Well..."
"Spill it. Now."
"I don't know..."
"Lee Haechan, you better tell me right now or so help me God-"
"Alright, alright." He leans against a wall, regarding her for a minute. Of course, he cannot possibly miss this sublime opportunity to tease. "Wait, you mean you really don't remember? Seriously?"
She says nothing. If looks could kill, he'd have been dead and buried nineteen times over.
"I just can't believe it," he continues, with relish. "How could you forget that you kissed me?"
Juno's reaction is almost comical. Eyes go wide, mouth drops open, face pales. "W-what? I kissed you?"
"Well, yeah. But it was nothing you hadn't done before." Haechan's about to laugh.
A myriad of emotions play out on her face. And this whole time, he'd known while she hadn't? She settles with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry," she stammers. "I sincerely didn't remember."
"Yeah, me neither."
"What?"
"I was kidding, Sherry. We never kissed. Again, I mean."
For a moment, Juno just stares at him. Then she simply walks away.
"Hey, hey, wait." He's hot on her heels, bending slightly to peer into her face. "Are you mad?"
Nothing.
"I just wanted to tease you a little, come on." Haechan steps in front of her, effectively blocking her path. "What's with the strong reaction?"
Juno continues with her silent treatment.
"I mean, we've kissed once before," he says, not moving. "How bad was it to send you running for the hills like this?" A sardonic smile graces his lips. But there's something in the tone of his voice that makes her finally lift her eyes to his.
"It wasn't," Juno finally says.
"Huh?"
"Our kiss during truth or dare. It wasn't terrible."
Haechan's mouth twists into that insufferable smirk, even though he's feeling greatly relieved on the inside. "Oh, really, now?"
"Don't fish for compliments. I know you're experienced, so of course it wasn't bad."
He's not sure what to say to that.
"And... that in itself isn't why I reacted that way," Juno clarifies. "But just that after everything with Jeno, I don't want to complicate the group like that again. Which is why I've resolved not to catch any feelings for my friends from now on. Already did that with two, and I've learned my lesson."
"Two?" Haechan's brows furrow. "Who was the second?"
Juno doesn't answer.
But it must be clear on her face, because he suddenly grins, realizing. "Livi." Juno's expression is answer enough, and his grin grows.
"Anyhow," she says curtly, "no more of all that. So you can understand why I freaked out."
"Jeno still likes you," Haechan blurts then.
"Doesn't matter, because I'm not going to do anything about it."
"What about you?"
Juno shakes her head. "No more." It comes out more uncertainly than she'd like. "I'm over both of them."
They resume walking. "And what about this Hyunjin jerk, anyway?" Haechan doesn't want to keep prying, but finds it impossible to stop. "You're not still hung up on him, are you? Even just a little?"
"All those ships have sailed." What's even weirder than his nosiness is that she isn't discouraging it.
Haechan nods in satisfaction. "Good. I bet he was ugly anyway."
"Oh, no. I can say whatever I want about that boy, but he was fine as hell. I convinced him to grow his hair out shortly before I left, and let me tell you, he looked scrumptious."
Haechan makes a face. "Ew."
Juno shrugs. "It's the truth."
"You have terrible taste. Maybe if you started catching feelings for people who wouldn't screw you over, you wouldn't get screwed over."
"Wise words," Juno drawls sarcastically.
"True words," he retorts.
"You can't control who you fall for. Haven't you ever fallen for someone you wish you hadn't?"
His eyes dart to her, contemplating before they move away. "Never."
"Sorry, I forgot. You're Lee Haechan."
"Damn straight."
"But-" Juno trails off when they finally reach their destination, stopping at the bulletin board. "Ha! I told you the list would already be up!" she crows triumphantly.
Haechan rolls his eyes, but Juno suddenly tugs on his sleeve. "Look at my ranking," she whispers. "Tell me I'm not seeing things."
Haechan leans in closer to see, and his eyes widen.
"No," he whispers back. "It definitely says that you're ninth place in the entire school."
"Okay. Well, shit."