Songs of the chapter: Falling by Harry Styles, Up All Night by One Direction
⚠️Trigger warning: unsafe binding, mention of needles, small mention of surgery, crying (crying happens in like every chapter at this point tbh), slight mention of eating disorder, laughing at someone⚠️
July 9th
Tommy's POV
I woke up and checked the time, 4:03am
I swung my legs off my bed and stood up
Shit I fell asleep in my binder again
I walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
I opened my drawer and searched for my testosterone shots. I only need them monthly and I have a high enough dose where I don't have to have hormone blockers as well.
I grabbed the box and saw that there were none left
No
No
No
NO!
I could've sworn there were a couple left last time I checked
My parents wouldn't be able to go pick some up and drive them to me and I needed an adult to go with me to get them
Why didn't I think of this?!
So I could either tell someone and they could go with me and pick it up or I could hope nothing bad happens. I hadn't had top or bottom surgery yet, and dysphoria was a bitch about it. Well, I don't get that dysphoric luckily but still.
I pulled out my phone and checked the date. Today was one month since my last shot, so if I didn't get one within the next few days then things could really get bad
I placed my phone down and got in the shower, with my clothes still on
I turned the shower on and sat down, letting the water soak my clothes as I cried
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
I didn't really keep track of how long I was in the shower, I just know that someone knocked on the door
"Tommy?" I heard Tubbo call through the door
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay? You've been in there since I got up like an hour ago"
Shit. Had it really been that long?
"Yeah I'm fine! I just lost track of time, that's all"
"Okay"
I sighed and turned the water off, slowly standing up and stepping out of the shower
I kept a bin of clothes in the bathroom just in case
~time skip~
We all went down for breakfast. Dream was making pancakes for everyone.
"Uh Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, how many pancakes do you guys each want?"
"3!" Tubbo screamed
"I'll have 3 as well" I told him
"I'll have 2" Ranboo said
I'd noticed that over the past few days Ranboo had started eating a bit less. Not much less, but a bit. Maybe he just wasn't as hungry.
Dream placed plates of pancakes on the table for everyone
"So what are we going to do today?" Tubbo asked with his mouth full
"Well..." Dream started saying
Dream's POV
"We're going to go to the beach!" I told everyone excitedly. I'd wanted to go since we moved over here, but it's obviously colder than Florida and you can't go to the beach anytime.
I could've sworn I saw tommy have a scared look on his face, but it was probably my eyes playing tricks on me.
"When are we leaving?" Karl asked
"Uh I guess like 30 minutes? When you're done eating go get changed and then we can leave. We'll be there for a few hours and get lunch there as well"
Tommy's POV
Shit
The beach?
It was hard enough that one day at the waterpark, but the beach!? That was just a disaster waiting to happen.
I grabbed my swim shorts and swim shirt out of my drawer and headed to the bathroom to change. I decided to keep my binder on so no one would suspect everything
I looked through my drawer again to see if I missed any of the shots, but there were none. I'd have to tell someone so I could get more
Karl's POV
We were all ready to go within 15 minutes, and all climbed into the car. Dream was driving and Tubbo somehow got shotgun, Wilbur, Sapnap, and George were in the second row, and I was squished in the back between Ranboo and Tommy.
"I call music!" I said and connected my phone to the car through bluetooth
I shuffled my liked songs on Spotify and Falling by Harry Styles came on
The drive wasn't that long luckily and we quickly got to the beach
There weren't a lot of people so we just put our stuff down in the sand
I placed my towel down by the ocean and sat there, enjoying the sound of the waves chasing by the dock further down the shore
The beach has always been one of my favourite places, especially when there's basically no one around and you can just sit by the water and listen to it
But the peace couldn't last forever. Tommy and Tubbo were racing into the water
"Ah shit! This is cold!" Tommy screamed as he was about knee-deep in the water
Tubbo was standing next to him and shoved him, submerging him in the cold water. Once he got up, he tackled Tubbo, knocking him into the water as well. They both started laughing and looked at each other like they were plotting something
"Hey Ranboo! Come over here!" Tubbo shouted
Sapnap came over and sat beside me, putting his arm around my shoulder
"You okay?" He asked
I sighed before answering him, "yeah. Just thinking"
"What're you thinking about?"
"Well... look over at them" I said and pointed to the boys in the water
Tommy was sitting in the water and as Ranboo walked over to him and Tubbo, he jumped out of the water and knocked Ranboo laughing
"What about them?"
"They're having so much fun, it reminds me of..." I trailed off
"Of what?"
I sighed again, "of hanging out with my siblings. We used to always have fun and hang out together, I miss those days"
"They could come and visit sometime"
"Eh.. maybe. We call sometimes and FaceTime too so it's fine"
I looked over at the boys again, they were all laughing about something
"Karl?" Sapnap said and nudged me
"Hmm?"
"Did you hear what I just said?"
"Oh no, sorry. What did you say?"
"Do you want to go swimming?"
"Uh not right now, you go ahead" I told him and he walked into the water
It's not that I didn't want to, I really did. But I can't swim. Nobody ever taught me and the beach I used to go to was really shallow so you wouldn't need to know how to swim. Plus I would always wear a life jacket
I stood up and walked towards the water, standing where the waves would wash up over my feet
I could see Sapnap farther out, waving to me. I giggled and waved back at him
"Karl!" Tommy yelled
"Yeah?" I asked
"Can you come here, I found something"
They weren't that deep in the water, it was just up to their knees so I walked over.
"What is it?" I asked when I got over to them
"It's a bit further out, just follow me"
He started walking and I followed him, Tubbo walking behind me
The water was about waist high now
"It's right... here!" He said, pointing at something in the water
I couldn't really see so I walked a bit closer
"The edge of a rock?" I questioned, "it gets really deep after here"
I saw out of the corner of my eye Sapnap swimming over to us
"Yeah, look at the rock though! It's really cool" he said and backed up, giving me space to look at whatever it was he wanted me to see
There was nothing. Literally nothing, it was just a normal rock.
"I don't-" I started to say when I felt someone push me from behind
I fell into the water
Sapnap's POV
I started swimming over to where Karl, Tommy, and Tubbo were
Tommy backed up a bit and Karl was looking down into the water
He looked at Tubbo who nodded
What?
Tubbo gently pushed Karl into the water, just enough so he would fall in, as he and Tommy started swimming back to shore
What the fuck!?
I looked over to where Karl had fallen and didn't see him
I swam over as fast as I could and dove under the water, looking around to see if I could see Karl
I grabbed him and swam up to the surface
He started coughing up some water and shaking and crying
I swam over to where you could stand and just held him bridal style in my arms
"Are you okay?" I asked
He shook his head 'no' and continued crying
I started walking back to the shore, glaring at Tommy every time we locked eyes
Tommy's POV
Shit
Shit
Shit
Sapnap was pissed. I don't even know what happened! He walked over to where he and Karl were sitting before and put Karl down, whispering something to him before walking over to Tubbo and I
"What the fuck did you guys do to him?" He asked angrily
"Tommy thought it would be funny to push him in the water, that's all. He'd just be cold and have to swim back" Tubbo told him
"He could've gotten hurt! Did you not think?"
I put my head down, not wanting to look at him
"I'm sorry" I muttered
"Oh you fucking will be" he said and I took off running
He wouldn't do anything bad but when a strong full grown man who has played football is running after you, it's fucking terrifying
He caught up to me quickly because it was harder to breathe in this stupid binder
He pushed me over gently, me landing on my stomach. Yeah.. not so good when you're already out of breath to be winded, especially with a binder on
He started grabbing sand and pouring it on my hair
"Ew... what.. the.. fuck?" I asked, trying but failing to catch my breath
"Sandyinnit" he said and stood up, offering his hand out to me
I was still breathing heavily and took his hand, him helping me up
"You gotta do something for Karl. Like buy him a giant case of monsters or something, okay"
I nodded and we walked back to the others. We hadn't run that far but I was still out of breath
Karl's POV
"Are you okay?" Sapnap asked. I was still crying
I shrugged my shoulders
He gave me a hug and said he'd be right back
I just looked out at the ocean, watching the waves crash on the shore. I closed my eyes and focused on the sound. It was very calming. Well, except for the fact that I could still hear my uneven breaths
"Karl?" Spanap said as he sat down beside me again
I hummed in response
"Do you wanna see Dream throw George into the ocean?" He whispered
I gave him a puzzled look
"Don't worry, they'll be safe. Just watch"
I turned around a bit and saw George attempting to make a sandcastle. Dream walked up behind him and scooped him up, running towards the dock
"Wha- Dream! Where are you taking mee" George shrieked
He got to the dock and walked towards the end. George must've known what was going to happen because he tried to get out of Dream's arms, but Dream just dropped him into the water. We heard a small shriek and I started laughing.
"Seriously Karl, are you okay?"
I tilted my hand back and forth to say 'sort of'
"Why aren't you talking?" He asked
I just shrugged, "I don't feel like it I guess"
We sat there in silence for a few minutes
"Do you want to go back in the water? You won't get pushed, I promise. I'll make sure of it"
"Uh okay" I said
He probably knew by now that I couldn't swim
"C'mon! Let's swim" he said and started to swim away
I tried to follow him by walking but I was too slow
Maybe I could try swimming
I tried to 'swim' to him but I probably looked like a cat trying to swim for the first time
"Wha- Karl what are you doing?" He asked while laughing a bit
"I'm swimming, aren't I?" I said with a small smile
He started laughing and my face fell. I stood up and started walking back towards the shore
"Wait Karl where are you going? I thought we were going to swim" he said to me but I ignored him
He swam over to me and started walking with me
"Karl?" He said but I ignored him again
I sat down on my towel in the sand, ignoring Sapnap completely
Tommy's POV
It had been about 10 minutes since Sapnap knocked me into the sand and I was still struggling a bit to take deep breaths. Tubbo and Ranboo were splashing each other in the water, Dream and George had gone to get lunch, Wilbur was sitting by the dock, and Karl and Sapnap were sitting on their towels a little way away
I should probably take this thing off
But what if they see you
Karl's POV
"Karl what's wrong? I'm sorry for laughing at you"
I started crying a bit and he pulled me into a hug
"I..." I paused, "I can't swim" I told him, whispering the last part
"Well I can teach you. You should've told me earlier. We'll go after lunch, okay?"
I smiled and nodded
Ranboo's POV
Tubbo and I got out of the water when we saw Dream and George heading back towards us with food
"Are you okay, Toms?" Tubbo asked
"Mhm" he said. He looked uncomfortable, like something was bothering him
I was going to mention it but Dream called out that there was food so we all rushed over
He had gotten food from the store by the beach. I took a hamburger and some fries
July 11
Tommy's POV
I rolled over in bed and groaned. My stomach was hurting. Well, not really my stomach.
I sat up and saw blood on my bed (period)
Oh fuck
I rushed over to the bathroom
What do I do!?
I have no supplies! This wasn't supposed to happen! Ever!
Luckily Ranboo and Tubbo were out of the room so I was able to take the sheet off my bed without them noticing and just threw it into my laundry basket, I'll deal with it when I do laundry again
I changed into new clothes for the day. After breakfast I was going to go to the store and get supplies and somehow get them home without anyone knowing
But things never seem to go to plan, do they?
I walked downstairs and poured myself a bowl of cereal, finishing it in a few minutes
"Hey Wilbur, can I borrow some money? I wanted to go get something from the store" I asked
"I'll go with you, I have some things we need to get" he said and got off of the couch, going to the door to put his shoes on
Fuck
I slipped on my sneakers and got into the car with him. It was silent as we drove down the road.
"Go get what you need, I'll find you and then we can buy everything" he told me as we walked into the store
I looked down the aisles untill I found the dreaded aisle and walked in, luckily no one else was there but it still felt wrong to be here. I grabbed 2 boxes, one overnight and one for during the day and sighed. I should've just told someone!
"Oh there you are Tommy" wilby said
I jumped and dropped the boxes I was holding
He picked them up and put them into his basket, not mentioning them at all
"Do you need anything else?" He asked
My testosterone shots
"Uh I have like a med thing but you have to get it because I'm a minor"
He nodded and we walked up to the pharmacy. My parents had made sure to switch to this store for my shots
"Uh I'm picking up something for Tommy Innit"
The person typed something into their computer before going and looking for the shots
"Tommy Innit, testosterone shots, use one a month" she said
I was so embarrassed at this point. First Wilbur saw that I'm getting pads, and now he knows I'm taking hormone shots!
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"Tommy I'll give you your things in your room" Wilbur told me in a low voice so no one else would hear him
We walked upstairs and into the room. Wilbur closed the door and handed be the pads
"Uh I need the other thing too" I said to him
"Go do what you need I'll give them to you after"
I gave him a puzzled look but walked into the bathroom anyways
"Can I have the things now, I'll put them in my bathroom" I asked when I got out
"In a few days, I don't want you taking it while you're.. you know. It could seriously mess up your hormones"
"Wait how did you know?"
"My brother, he's trans as well. Gotta say, you pass really well"
"I didn't know you had a brother. And thanks"
"Yeah, I could invite him to come visit sometime. Now, important question for you. How long have you been wearing your binder?"
I thought for a minute
"I don't know, since I put it on yesterday?"
"Take it off, it's not good for you. Wear a hoodie or something"
July 16th
Wilbur's POV
I texted techno a few days ago, asking him if he wanted to come and visit. Today was the day he was arriving. I had told everyone he'd be here today and said he could just sleep on the floor in my room.
I was sitting on the couch right now, waiting for him to arrive. He said that he'd just get a taxi to the house and would be here any minute now. Tubbo and Tommy were sitting on the couch watching Moana with the tv on practically full volume
"Who chose the fucking movie?" I asked
Tubbo pointed to Tommy
"Do you need it this loud?"
I stood up and started trying to find the remote which the children were keeping it out of reach of me. I was so focused on trying to get the remote I didn't hear the doorbell ring. Or Dream answer it. Or techno walk in.
Technoblade's POV
I could hear Moana playing on the tv as I stepped up to the porch and rang the doorbell
A dirty blonde haired guy opened the door. He was wearing a green hoodie with a smile face on it.
"Hi" I said
"You're Wilburs brother?"
I nodded and walked in
"Give me the fucking remote you child!" I heard Wilbur scream
"I'm not a child I'm a big man" someone responded
I looked over to the living room and saw Wilbur and a blonde haired boy fighting over the tv remote
"Still fighting with children?" I said, walking over towards the couch
He gasped a bit "techno!"
"Hey Will"
Wilbur's POV
When I saw techno, I was a bit shocked. Obviously he would've changed since I haven't seen him in 4 years but he changed a lot. His hair was so long, he had it in a braid and it was dyed pink. He'd obviously gotten taller, he might even be taller than me
"How tall are you?" I asked him
"Uh 6'3 I think"
"I'm 6'1! How did you get taller than me?!"
"Oh this is Tommy" I said, pointing at him, "and Tubbo"
"Technoblade, but call me Techno"
Ranboo's POV
Wilbur's brother was coming over today and staying to visit for about a week. I was excited to meet him, from what Wilbur had said he seemed really chill and he liked Minecraft as well!
Maybe we could all stream together
I was the only one with my setup in the room so that the calls wouldn't screech when we talk to each other, Tubbo and Tommy had theirs in the office and in what was supposed to be a closet.
I got a text
✨chaotic bitches✨
Dirty crime child: Wilbur's brother is here
Genderman: alright, I'll be down soon
Bees: we're watching moana
I laughed a bit at tubbos message
(I need another word for laughed)
Tubbo eventually came upstairs to get me to come down
"Cmon, he's funny you'll like him, he's the same age as us as well!"
"Fine" I said and got off my bed
I followed him downstairs and into the living room
Tommy was holding the remote and watching Moana. We'd already watched this movie about 1000 times, and I wanted to watch something else.
I sat down beside him and grabbed the remote, pausing Moana
"Hey!! Give that back, we're watching Moana!" Tommy screamed
"No, we always watch Moana I want to watch something else!"
He tried to grab the remote out of my hands but I held on tightly and we were basically playing tug-a-war
"Let go" I said
"Never" he said
We kept trying to get the remote out of each other's hands while Tubbo watched untill eventually someone took the remote out of both our hands. It was Sapnap.
"Really? Anything you can fight over and it's the tv remote?" He tee-heed a bit (GOOGLE GAVE ME THAT AS ANOTHER WORD FOR LAUGHED AND I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY)
"Tommy's always watching Moana!" I complained
He rolled his eyes
"We're gonna watch a movie can you guys get some snacks? And..." he thought for a moment, "Karl's choosing the movie"
Tommy, Tubbo, and I went to the kitchen to grab snacks
"Just get a bucket or basket and fill it with as much stuff as you can" I said to them, and grabbed a basket for the snacks
I grabbed some of everything we had. Chip bags (that were like half gone but who cares), candy bars, drinks, etc.
Once we got everything we went back to the living room where everyone was
"Jeez did you just grab every thing in the kitchen?" Dream wheezed
I looked over at Tommy and tubbos baskets, Tommy had grabbed tongs
"What the fuck do you need tongs for?" Tubbo asked
"Oh I didn't mean to grab these" he said and threw them at Wilbur
"Watch it" he said, nearly getting hit by the ✨flying tongs✨
That's when I saw him. Wilburs brother. Technoblade. Aka one of the guys who bullied me for as long as I can remember. We made eye contact for a second before I quickly looked down
~time skip, have a frog 𓆏~
We ended up watching frozen. We'd have to go shopping tomorrow because we ate about 95% of the snacks. The movie finished and I walked over to the stairs and headed up to my room
July 19
Karl's POV
Today's my birthday! I woke up and could smell waffles from our room in the basement
Half asleep, I made my way upstairs, yawning as I walked into the kitchen
"Noo you weren't supposed to get up yet, I was making you breakfast in bed" Sapnap said with a fake frown
"I'll go back to bed if you want" I said sleepily
"No, it's fine now. Happy birthday!" He said and gave me a hug
3rd person POV (this is my first time writing like this so sry if it's bad)
Sapnap handed Karl a plate of waffles, taking a few for himself as well. He made sure to make enough for everyone. They both sat down on the couch, turning on the tv and watching Spongebob while eating their breakfast
Meanwhile upstairs...
"I'm going to stream for about half an hour, we can do a facecam stream if you guys want. Or you laugh you lose" Tommy said to the two boys who were rummaging through the closet
"Yeah, let me grab my mask and glasses" the older one said, grabbing his things and sitting down by the blonde boy who started the stream
"What's up chat!? How are we boys?" He screamed into the microphone, probably ruining people's ears (I shouldn't judge, I listen to mcr like full blast in my headphones. Oh! Oh! I saw someone with an mcr shirt today and I told them I liked their shirt and they said they like my hair shdbhfhdhdhejeejoakwkjjdm)
As the 3 were streaming, Sapnap was making plans with everyone for the day
"What do you want to do today?" He asked his boyfriend, "I have a few plans"
"Like what? And I'd like to probably just watch a movie and have a chill night"
"Actually I only have one plan, we're gonna go shopping and get snacks for a movie later"
Dream's POV
Once Sapnap and Karl left, the rest of us started getting ready
We had 5 of those giant roles of streamers. The colours we had were blue, yellow, purple, white, and teal. George was putting those up with the help of Tommy, Wilbur and Tubbo were wrapping gifts, and Ranboo and I were about to bake a cake
"Okay so we want golden, chocolate, or funfetti?" I asked him
"Let's do golden"
I nodded and grabbed the box of cake mix, looking at what we'd need
"Can you get 3 eggs, *insert amount* of water, and *insert amount* of oil?"
I got out 2 circular pans and a bowl, pouring the powder into the bowl. Ranboo added the eggs, oil, and water and mixed it together while I put butter on the pans so the cake wouldn't stick and poured the batter into the pans, making sure it was as even as possible
********************************************
We had put the cakes into the freezer so they would cool down faster while we made icing. We had navy blue, black, pink, purple, and white. We were going to attempt to make a galaxy cake.
I spread some icing on the top of one of the layers and put the other one on top of it. George was helping me with icing it
Once we were done, we looked at the cake. Needless to say I was shocked at how good we did.
"Okay, we're all set. I'll just text Sapnap and tell him that they can head home now, can you get everyone down here to get ready?"
Karl's POV
I was sitting on a bench, waiting for Sapnap to come back. He had gone into a store to buy something and had left his phone with me. Of course, me being the person I was, was taking pictures and going through his phone. He always lets me and I knew his password.
I was just scrolling through his Twitter, debating on wether or not to tweet something when Sapnap got a text from Dream
Pissbaby
Everything's ready, you can come back now
I stared at his phone in confusion, what did Dream mean? I saw Sapnap walking out of the store and I quickly put the phone down
4,768 words
Published on: September 15, 2021
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Long chapter :D