Kisa's body racked with silent sobs as she tucked herself into her bed.
Her hand shook as she reached up to feel the bruise beginning to form on her cheek; the coldness of her fingertips were the only thing to soothe it.
Breathe Kisa, she closed her eyes and released shaky exhales.
In the living room, her father was on the phone with his work. The call had practically saved her from a worse beating, as if the gods heard her cries and sent an angel to help.
Kisa listened to his voice as she tried to calm herself down. He sounded so normal. She couldn't remember the last time he had spoken to her without an insult or a curse word or a tone so hateful.
It was probably before her mother had left. He was happy then.
But when she fell in love with someone else and ran off god knows where, the man who was Kisa's father left with her. In his place was someone who hated his own daughter, for she looked far too much like the woman he wasn't enough for.
Isamu, her brother, had it better. He was almost 18 by the time Mother left, and he only had to see it through for a couple of months before he could vanish from the hell that was home.
Isamu was able to defend himself from the wrath of his father and he tried his best to defend Kisa, whom he loved dearly. But when he had the chance to leave, he took it.
"Kisa, I'm going to leave. I'm sorry," a tear slid down his face as he embraced the small girl before him.
He kneeled down so he was looking up at her.
"Where are you going Onii-chan?" Kisa frowned at the sad look on her brother's face.
Isamu wiped the moisture off his cheeks and put on a strong front, "I'm going to France, Kisa."
"That's really far, right? How long will you be gone?"
The boy's heart broke at the question and his sister's big eyes staring down at him only intensified the guilt he felt.
"I don't know. But I'll come back for you, okay? Just hold on for a little bit," he held her face softly in his hands. "Be good."
Kisa couldn't help but look back on the memory bitterly. How could he leave her? She was just a little girl.
And the promise he made, it gave her false hope for years.
For years, every hit she endured, the words her brother said echoed in her head. It would all be okay, because he said he would come back for her.
This pain doesn't matter, because he would come back for her.
But he never did.
As she got older, Kisa stopped wishing for it overall. She didn't even want to see him. She didn't need him to protect her anymore, but it was because she had already gone through the worst.
Kisa pushed all thoughts of her brother away, not wanting to dwell on the past.
Before she could close her eyes and wish for sleep, her phone dinged. It was a cheap flip phone that she hid from her father, for he would most likely break it if he knew about it.
It's probably Minako.
She shuffled around the bed to find her phone, before squinting to read the screen. The text was from an unknown number.
This song reminded me of you. - Izumi
(fever dream- mxmtoon)
-
Kisa basically bounced on her feet as she walked to school, her earphones in, playing the song Miyamura sent her. For probably the hundredth time since last night.
She was convinced it was the most beautiful song she had ever heard, and the fact that it reminded Miyamura of her was a compliment in of itself.
And not only that. The song came at a time she needed it most; Miyamura was there for her even if it wasn't with her physically. She completely forgot about her pain when she laid in bed with the melodies flowing around her head like stars.
It was almost creepy how her feelings were perfectly encapsulated in every lyric. Her lack of living life, but her desire for something more. Her desire to leave and go beyond anything that was holding her back now.
Kisa was restless on her way to school, itching to tell Miyamura how much she loved the song.
But when she walked into class and saw his downturned eyes, all of her elation seeped out of her.
He turned to look her way, and then she saw it. The white bandage on his cheek accompanied by his ashamed expression, as if he knew what she were thinking.
A hot, boiling rage flipped Kisa's stomach, and it was directed towards the brunette sitting in front of Miyamura. She was chatting so casually with a friend, and it made Kisa even angrier.
"Kisa," a gentle voice snapped her out of her resentful thoughts, and she realized she was still standing in front of her desk. Thankfully, Minako wasn't there yet, because she would have noticed her killer stare directed at Hori.
Kisa looked to the source of the voice, Miyamura. Her eyes immediately softened. "Uh- Miyamura, hey," she walked over to him.
She forced her anger down, but as she got closer to Hori it was harder to hide it.
"I wanted you to call me Izumi now, remember?" his head turned with a smile. It was a sad smile, she could tell it was just a front.
"Right, right, sorry," Kisa answered distractedly.
"So did you like the song?"
Hori stopped talking to her friend, curiosity blooming at the sudden closeness her boyfriend seemed to share with Kisa. She had never seen them talk but they were on a first name basis? The girl quietly eavesdropped with her back still turned.
"I loved it. Thank you for showing it to me," Kisa gushed. "But um... Izumi, your face-"
"I'm happy you liked it," Miyamura's eyes flickered nervously to the girl sitting in front of him.
Before Kisa could object, Sensei called out for everyone to get to their seats.
As she sat down, she looked back at Miyamura, only to see Hori whispering something to him.
-
"So the festival is tomorrow," Miyamura brought up as they walked their route home.
Kisa knew, she just tried not to think about it. After tomorrow, Hori would be back to walking with Miyamura. After tomorrow, she would be back to being alone.
"Are you going?" she asked, deciding not to bring it up.
He nodded. "It's not usually my thing, but Hori worked hard on it so... Are you?"
"I don't know. It's not my thing either and I don't have anyone to go with," Kisa explained.
"What about Minako?" Miyamura tilted his head.
"She's running one of the booths the whole day," she answered. "It's not a huge deal though, I don't care much for the festival."
"You could come with my friends and I," the boy offered, but Kisa immediately shook her head at the idea. She didn't do well with big groups like his, and being the tag along would only make her feel out of place.
"Come on Kisa-san, life's a losing game if you don't play," Miyamura nudged her, and Kisa giggled at the reference to the song he sent her. Their song.
"And it won't be weird if that's what you're scared of. It'll just be me, Ishikawa, and Yoshikawa. Everyone else is working booths too," he further explained.
Kisa thought for a moment. It was like he knew she didn't want to see Hori. But he was right, wasn't he? She weirdly felt embarrassed that he knew her dislike for the girl, but he didn't seem offended by it.
Miyamura shot her a knowing smile; he could tell she was already convinced.
"Okay," Kisa huffed, sending the boy beside her into cheers.
She fought a smile as she watched his joy, and it did something to her heart to think it was all because he wanted to hang out with her.
He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend, she repeated to herself.
"The food will be so good," Miyamura dreamily sighed, making Kisa roll her eyes at his boyish tendencies.
"I hope it's cheap too, cause you're paying," she teased.
"Kisa?"
The girl looked up at the sound of her name, a stunned look on her face as she met the eyes of her father.