"Virgil, really, I don't think that you can rely on just your shadow monsters here," Roman repeated, dodging around Kiki. "Can you at least let me stay until you fall asleep?"
"Princey, your biggest priority should be writing up your 'fuck you' speech to your dad," Virgil told him. "And I'm going to have all five of my monsters."
"Which are?"
Virgil ticked them off on his fingers. "A Kasa-Obake---doesn't do a lot of damage, but they tend to freak people out---a Gorgon and a Hydra, both of which would be very effective if the assassin is afraid of snakes---"
"Maybe I should stand watch, then," Janus said under his breath, trying and failing to smirk.
"Jan, shush. Anyways, I've also got a Chimera, who, yes, are usually big sweethearts, but they're demons in battle, and Kiki is Kiki and she is hungry."
"そのうるさいイタリアの女性を食べさせてくれたら私は空腹でわないだろう" Kiki muttered in Japanese.
Remus blinked. "What did she say?"
Virgil let out a heavy sigh. "もう言ったよ、キキ、彼女は君を病院にしただたろ。後で暗殺者を食べれるよ。"
"What did he say?"
"No idea," Janus answered. "My Japanese is nonexistent."
Roman shrugged. "You have to admit, though, he's gotten a lot more fluent in it over the past year."
"Just because I'm speaking in a different language doesn't mean I can't hear you fuckers, so shut up and let me handle the spider woman," Virgil said before turning back to Kiki. "不平を言う続けは必要がない。"
Kiki's eight eyes filled with mild concern---well, Janus guessed it was concern, it was a little hard to tell. "私と他のおばけ行ったら本当に大丈夫か、カスタ？君の恋人の言う通りに彼はここに居る方がいいかも---"
"キキ！彼を恋人と呼ばないで" Virgil groaned. "そして先自分で全部扱うことができると言いたでしょう?"
"友達のためにそう言いたい。今、彼らが知らない言語で話している理由があるよ。" Janus blinked in surprise as Kiki reached out with one of her claw-hands and gently cupped Virgil's cheek. "彼らはこれを知ったら恥ずかしけど、君は私の作成者と友達として大事に思う。"
A soft smile filled Virgil's face as he rested his hand over hers. "大丈夫だよ。僕はキキに信じてる。でもありがとね。"
"こちらこそ" she responded. "私の存在を確保していただきありがとうございます。"
Virgil let out a laugh.
(A/N: Translations at the bottom!)
Janus crossed his arms. "I'm feeling very cheated that I'm being left out of this obviously wholesome conversation."
"All you need to know is that Kiki's secretly a softie," Virgil said in English. "You guys go to bed. Talk about stuff. Be wholesome or whatever."
Remus and Janus went back into their room, Janus closing the door behind him. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes.
"I don't even think I'm surprised," Remus finally said, sitting down on the bed. "Mom always told me that I had Dad---" He stopped. "That I had Xavier's ruthlessness, but she meant it as a compliment back then. Doesn't feel much like a good thing now."
"You have her heart, my love," Janus told him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "That means you don't lose control---"
Remus let out a sad laugh. "Jan-Jan, you know I do. You've seen it happen."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I would've strangled that Griffin punk to death if you hadn't stopped me," he reminded him. "Earlier that day, Patton said that you were basically my self-control, and the thing is, he's not that far off. You're always the one pulling me out of situations where I could get myself killed, and you're always the one making sure that I don't snap---" His voice broke slightly. "Am I more like him than I thought? Did I get more than just his powers?"
"Remus, no," Janus said firmly, taking his hands. "The only thing that you and Xavier have in common are your powers and the fact that you can let your tempers get the best of you, and the fact that you even recognize that you have something or someone that can calm you down just proves that you're so much better than him."
Remus looked up. "But---"
"Darling, did you let Francesca invite us here so you could lure us into a trap?"
"No, but---"
"Did you tell my stalker that it was fine for her to flirt with me and practically threaten me into dating her?"
"Obviously not---"
"Did you hire someone to kill your best friend?"
Remus sighed, shoulders slumping. "No."
"Then you're much better than him." Janus paused. "Granted, that bar is so low that going under it would require venturing into the Ninth Circle of Hell, but still."
"I mean, that circle is for traitors, so he's already there." Remus ran a hand through his curls. "When Mom called, I just... I really hoped that he might've changed his mind. I guess part of me still wanted him to like me, y'know? I wanted him to be proud, and not just see me as a disappointment. He wouldn't even show me how to control my powers when I was a kid---I had to bribe my nanny to take me to Queens so Nina could show me how."
Janus sat down next to him, draping an arm over his shoulder. "Some people just refuse to change. Believe me, I know."
Remus squeezed his hand. "Sorry, I just---I needed to vent a little."
"It's fine."
"What about you, though?" Remus asked, looking over at him. "You haven't really broken down yet. You've barely said anything."
Janus faltered. "I---"
"Just let it out. I'm here."
Silence hung in the air for a few beats.
"I can't fucking believe this!" Janus exploded, leaping to his feet and starting to pace. "Has the universe decided that since I had the brilliant and perfect luck of meeting you and having you as a partner, then it's all going to be down-fucking-hill from there? I ask you out, you say yes, it's the happiest moment of my life, but then we're at your parents' house and it's ten times harder to figure out where we're going because we need to stay in the closet, and then that bitch decides that she's in love with me and refuses to leave me alone---and then we're in freshman year and we get Augustass as our team leader and he starts using his powers on me, and then Dad finally leaves but not before leaving me with a split lip---"
Remus stared at him. "This... this isn't the reaction I was expecting."
"I thought things were going to get better after that!" Janus shouted, throwing his hands into the air. "I had you, I had the family I loved, and we spent the best summer of my life together, and then I met Virgil and he got me to start reconnecting with Roman and I was so sure that things were going to improve, but then the fucking DIVINITY CIRCLE, which, oh yeah, Augustass is a part of and that's why he was burning me, fucking kidnaps me, and even after I get out, guess what? THEY STILL WANT ME! And now THIS!" He let out a guttural scream. "Why do you enjoy fucking with me, Lakshmi? Why did you curse me like this? IS IT TOO MUCH FOR ME TO BE HAPPY?"
His voice cracked and he collapsed into a nearby chair. "Is that really so much to ask?"
After a little while, Remus walked over and kneeled in front of him. "I gotta admit, I expected you to cry or be weirdly calm about this."
Janus shook his head. "I'm not upset, or brokenhearted, or scared," he said quietly. "Not anymore. I'm just... angry. And tired." He buried his face in his hands. "So, so, so tired."
"Well, then, let's go to sleep." Remus carefully took his hands and pulled him to his feet. "I know our initial plan for tonight was to screw each other's brains out, but to be honest, I'm not really up for that at the moment."
"Me neither," Janus said.
Remus leaned down and kissed him on the cheek, his mustache tickling. "Cuddles?"
"Cuddles." Janus gave him a little tap on the nose. "I think I need your hugs tonight, anyway."
"Me too. Even your skinny little twink arms are comfy."
Janus gave him an affectionate shove. "Shush."
They got into the bed and Remus put an arm around Janus, giving him a quick kiss goodnight. In the chaos of everything that had happened that night, Janus finally felt a sense of safety.
He hummed "From Eden" under his breath as he melted into Remus's arms, banishing the nightmares before they even came.
.............
(Warning: Implied disembowlement)
"Romano, I am perfectly fine," Virgil said, folding his arms. "I've got Cynthia and Bob on the windows, Scylla and Frankie patrolling the bed, and Kiki's in the hallway and has already gotten her webs up. I don't need you to stay in here."
"Virgil, we are talking about you dying!" Roman exclaimed, spinning around. "I may have been careless and unintentionally put you in danger by bringing you here, but I am still your prince, and I'll protect you for as long as I'm able!"
Virgil raised an eyebrow. "I have five shadow monsters taking care of that. Go back to your room."
Roman sat down on the bed, reaching over and taking Virgil's hand. "I won't be able to sleep until I know for sure that you're safe. I'll go to my room once the assassin's taken care of, but for now, I'm staying."
"Look, just because you're not freaked out by my very deadly creations doesn't mean that the assassin won't be," Virgil told him. "I'm actually surprised that you're not bothered."
Roman snorted. "No offense, Hot Topic, but forgive me if I don't see the fear factor in an umbrella with a big eye and mouth who hops around on one leg."
"HEY!" Bob shouted, swiveling around towards them. "I don't see the appeal in you, either, hotshot, but ya don't see me goin' round and dissing ya for no reason!"
Virgil gestured to him. "See? Look what you did. You made Bob mad."
"Isn't that his constant state?" Cynthia questioned.
"Ah, shut it, snake-for-brains."
"My hair is snakes, not my brain, and let me remind you that Kasa-Obakes like you are ranked lowest in Virgil's Scare Scale---"
"Okay, guys, cool it, you've got an assassin to look out for," Virgil called.
Roman jerked his thumb at them. "See what I mean? I can't be afraid of them if all they do is fight with each other."
Virgil stared at him, then rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Roman. Honey. Cynthia can turn someone to stone if she feels like it, Scylla's literally a nine-headed snake with venom fangs, Frankie has three heads that spit fire, and Kiki is a goddamned spider demon who eats people alive. I can understand not finding Bob scary, but you gotta find the others at least a little scary."
"Frankie doesn't even look real," Roman said. "He's a lion, goat, and snake cobbled together in a really weird way."
"Okay, what about Cynthia? Or Scylla?"
Roman shrugged. "Never been scared of snakes."
"Kiki?"
"Not scared of spiders, either. If you brought her out around Patton, he'd most likely faint, but I'm not bothered. Little weirded out, but not bothered."
"Don't let Kiki hear you say that," Cynthia called.
Frankie nudged Virgil with his lion head. "Rrrrrrrgh."
"You want pets?" Virgil asked. "Chin scritchies?"
His goat head bleated in response.
Virgil laughed. "Okay, just remember, I've only got two hands. Snake head's gonna have to deal."
"You do realize you're proving my point even further, right?" Roman said.
"Shush," Virgil told him, scratching under Frankie's lion and goat heads. Frankie's lion head let out a rumbling sound that sounded sort of like a purr, while his snake head gave Roman an expectant look.
"What---no, I'm not giving you chin scratches, don't be ridiculous."
Frankie let out an indignant hiss.
"Okay, fine, I'll do it," Roman relented, scratching the snake head under his chin. Three different animal sounds of content came from Frankie's heads.
Scylla flicked her tail. "I wanted to be outssssssssssside. Kiki hasssssssss all the fun."
Virgil shrugged. "She's the scariest."
"You alwayssssssssss make creaturesssssssssss like me and Cccccccccynthia and Bob do ssssssssssmall tasssssssssssksssssssss. We can kill. Let usssssssss kill."
"Nah, I can't kill." Bob paused. "Don't think I can, anyways."
"Does petrifying people count as killing them?" Cynthia wondered.
Virgil let out a heavy sigh. "Guys, I summon creatures like you three way more than I summon chimeras and Kiki, so be happy about that. Besides, you guys might get to end up killing some---"
A high-pitched shriek sounded from the hallway, followed by a wet riiiiiiip and the sound of things getting sucked out of something very dead.
"I stand corrected," Virgil said, sitting up. "Kiki?"
The door creaked open and the spider woman walked---or crawled---in, her bloody smile wide behind stringy hair. "He's taken care of. Surprisingly tasty."
"Awesome. Good work, Kik."
"My pleasure, Caster. What should I do with the remains?"
Virgil waved a hand. "Whatever the hell you want, just clean up when you're done. You sense any others?"
Kiki shook her head. "Just the one."
"Good."
Cynthia cleared her throat loudly. "Uh, Virgil? What do you want the rest of us to do?"
"Ssssssssssssshe isssssssssss correct," Scylla said, flicking her tail. "We cannot jusssssssssst ssssssssssssssit here until we dissssssssssappear."
"Uh..." Virgil blinked. "I guess you guys could just go around the house and cause trouble. Don't wake anyone up, though."
"KITCHEN RAAAAAAAAAAAAAID!" Bob shouted, hopping towards the door. Frankie let out a roar/bleat/hiss and bounded after him.
"No killing anyone!" Virgil called after them.
Kiki flashed a grin. "I make no promises."
"Eh, we both know you're full," Cynthia said, patting her on the shoulder. "You wanna check out the pool with me and Scylla?"
"Yes, please."
After they left, Virgil turned back to Roman. "Okay, now you can leave."
"Noooooooo, I wanna staaaaaaaaaaaay," Roman whined, flopping over the bed. "I'm still protecting you."
"The assassin is most likely a puddle of skin, bone and muscle with all of his innards removed. You can go."
Roman made a face. "I don't really wanna step into a hallway with that there."
"I told Kiki to clean up," Virgil sighed. "Just---just go back to your room."
"It's not my room anymore." Roman squeezed Virgil's hands. "And I'd just... I'd just feel safer knowing for sure that you're okay."
"I am gonna be okay. Hell, I'll summon Stein to keep me company---"
"Stein?"
Virgil closed his eyes. "That's... that's one of the other chimeras I've created."
"You named him Stein?" Roman repeated.
"Uh, yeah. Frankenstein." Virgil frowned. "Did---did you not realize where Frankie's name came from?"
"No, but I think I like you even more now." Roman gave him the puppy-dog eyes. "I'll sleep on the floor?"
"Princey, no." Virgil gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Just go to bed, okay? I'll be fine."
Roman sighed. "Can I at least give you a kiss goodnight?"
"'Course you can. C'mere." Virgil pulled Roman in.
He'd intended for it to just be a quick peck, but it ended up lasting a lot longer, and it didn't entirely stay closed-mouthed. During the kiss, Virgil suddenly became very aware that the two of them were alone... and he remembered the prank Remus had pulled before the twins moved out.
"On second thought," Virgil murmured, breaking away, "maybe I do want you to stay."
Roman let out a little happy gasp. "Really?"
"Yeah."
"Should I go get some pjs, or..." A grin tugged at Roman's lips. "Were you thinking of something else?"
Virgil tilted his head to the side. "Well, it depends on what you're thinking of."
"I---well, I was thinking we were gonna---never mind," Roman said quickly, blushing and ducking his head.
"You were thinking that we were gonna have sex?" Virgil guessed.
Roman's blush deepened. "Um... yeah."
Virgil grinned. "Well, you thought right. No time like the present, and our anniversary was a couple days ago."
"Oh, thank god," Roman sighed. "I was afraid I'd just humiliated myself."
"You do that daily, Princey," Virgil said.
"Ouch."
Virgil paused. "Um... how do we do this?"
"I'll check the drawers," Roman offered, leaning over.
"Woah, woah, woah." Virgil stopped him. "We're only doing this if I get to be on top, got it?"
Roman laughed. "You're the boss, Hot Topic."
"And don't you forget it," Virgil teased, tapping him on the nose.
A/N: I will be leaving the rest to your imaginations, but you are not allowed to speculate in the comments. I don't do explicit stuff...
BUT I HAVE NO PROBLEM IMPLYING IT.
Seriously, though, between writing a scene of a kind that I have never once written or had to have written in my life, and watching Tas agonize over the Japanese translations (we both went to a Japanese Immersion elementary school, she stayed on until high school, I stopped in middle school, I remember nothing and she's practically fluent), this chapter was very, very hard to do. I hope I executed it well enough.
Here's the translations, by the way:
Kiki: "I wouldn't be hungry if you'd let me eat that bratty Italian girl."
Virgil: "Kiki, I told you, she would've made you sick. And you'll get to eat the assassin, remember?"
V: "Seriously, you don't need to keep complaining."
K: "Are you sure you'll be fine with me and the others guarding you? Maybe your lover is right, maybe he should stay with---"
Virgil: "Kiki! Don't call him my lover. And you were literally just saying that you could handle everything by yourself."
K: "For your friend's sake. There's a reason I'm speaking in a language they can't understand right now."
K: "It'd be embarrassing if they knew this, but I care about you as my creator and my friend, and I don't want you to get hurt."
V: "It's okay, Kiki. I know you can do it. And thank you."
K: "Thank you. Thank you for ensuring that I exist."
So yeah in summary Kiki is a soft spider mama who also happens to snack on human guts