“Why, don’t you look stunning today?" Chan greets me with a grin as I step outside of my house. I grin as his gaze softens at the sight of my mid length dress, the royal purple fabric cascading gently down my hips. I have my regular leather jacket ontop, and my fishnet tights underneath paired with black ankle boots, but my unfamiliarity with wearing a dress on the daily makes me anxious. I tuck my loose hair behind my ear and look down self consciously, feeling strange without my jeans.
“I don’t,” I deny, brushing off imaginary dust from my skirts. I walk up to him, clocking his shirt. “Oh wow Mr Bang Chan, you’re wearing colour too.”
He blushes, looking down at his matching purple t-shirt. “Couldn’t let you be the only one wearing colour now, could I?”
I giggle, reaching up to squish his cheeks. He scrunches his nose up and he looks so much like a baby rabbit that I can't help but stand on my tiptoes and give him the smallest of kisses on the tip of his nose. I squeal and let go as he stands there looking at me at shock, before he shakes his head and grabs my hand as we walk down his street, heading off to school.
It’s been a week since Chan snuck into my bedroom, and the bruises on my face have reduced to ugly, yellow and green blotches. I managed to cover them with colour corrector and concealer; I only wish it that that easy to cover my inner bruises too.
“The boys are dying to see you,” Chan tells me, making me roll my eyes fondly.
“You don’t say. They’ve been exploding the group chat all week,” I remember with a laugh, thinking about how much Jisung and Felix pestered the both of us to come back to school. “They’re cute though.”
Chan grimaces. “I’d like to know what your definition of cute is.”
We laugh together at that, but our laughter soon turns into giddy shrieking just as the heavens open and we are soaked within seconds. I can't help but giggle even more as Chan lifts my arm up and playfully spins me around in the middle of the street, thick sheets of rain plastering my hair to my face and Chan’s clothes to his body. I spin with my hand in his on the corner of the street, my dress flying out like wings around me. Chan pulls me into him, his back hitting a wall as my chest presses up against his, both of us breathing heavily. His shirt has become a translucent sheet clinging to his body like a second skin, revealing the hardness of his abs and his muscles in his arms. One of his hands rests on my waist, the other in my hand while mine is placed on his chest. I feel my heart pounding against my ribcage so hard that I'm sure it's about to burst out. I slowly raise my eyes up and see him looking down at me, his eyes burning with fire and it takes all my strength to keep my gaze fixed on his. That is, until he coughs slightly and looks away, letting go of me, which seems to snap me out of my trance and I step away from him, the wind cooling my flaming cheeks. The moment passes just as quick as it came and we begin walking again, acting as if nothing had ever happened.
Once we get to school, I am pummeled to the ground by a screaming Felix, who hugs me so tight that my breath vanishes. Minho grabs him by the back of his shirt and lifts him up, placing him on his feet.
“Don’t crush her you idiot," Minho glares at his friend.
Felix grins sheepishly as I get up to my feet, brushing the dust off of my dress. He then attacks me again and hugs me so hard that I forget myself for a moment and cry out in pain.
All seven boys stop in silence and stare at me wide eyed, while Chan carefully slides his fingers into mine. I suddenly realise that I failed to conceal my pain and I slowly close my eyes, sliding down to the ground, dropping my head onto my knees.
“ … Y/N?” Felix asks tentatively, crouching down beside me. “What’s wrong? I’m sorry I ... I - did I hurt you?”
I shake my head, banging my forehead on my knees. “It’s not your fault.” I look up to Chan for help and he drops down next to me, pulling me into his chest. I let myself lean into him, exhaling heavily.
“Think it’s about time we tell them, don’t you?” He asks me quietly, and after a pause, I nod. He pulls me up to my feet and I look at the other boys.
“I’ve kind of got something to tell you guys,” I say, ignoring the rush of blood echoing in my ears. I'm surprised when even Minho's usual placid face changes into one of concern, and my heart throbs painfully inside my chest.
“Here?” He asks, looking dubious as he glances around the grounds.
I shake my head. There’s an hour before people will start going to their form rooms. “Can we go to our form room? No one else will be there.”
Jisung nods. “Of course. Let’s go guys.”
We make our way to our form room in silence, Chan and I walking behind the group, his hand entwined in mine reassuringly. He lowers his voice so the others can’t here.
“Don’t worry sweetie. They’ll be very understanding,” he tells me, squeezing my hand. I squeeze it back as I nod, grateful for him.
The nine of us enter the dark room, heading for the back desks. I sit at my own and they all bring chairs around the small table, making a small crowd around me. Hyunjin sits with his legs around the back of the chair, arms resting on the top of it which his chin leans on. “So. What’s up, Y/N - ie?”
I smile at him playing with my name but it quickly turns into a look of apprehension as I try to start my tale. Once I begin, I find the words gushing out of me like a powerful current, and I can’t stop.
The boys listen with careful attention, Chan sat next to me with tissues to help me through the difficult parts which make it hard for me to talk. He helps me through my story with subtle gestures: fingertips on my arms, hands running through my hair and encouraging smiles. After what seems like a life time of speaking, I finally finish and look properly at the boys at infront of me. I’m touched to see all their eyes glistening, and I catch a quick glance of Changbin’s wet cheeks before he bows his head and pulls his cap further down his head.
Jeongin gets up from his seat and moves my desk aside to sit on my lap and throw his arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. His tears trickle onto my neck and I feel the backs of my eyes pricking again as I hug him back.
“You’re amazing,” he says, giving me a watery smile. “I want to be brave like you one day.”
I splutter with touched laughter at that, and he gets off of me, replaced with a red faced Hyunjin who stands me up before wrapping himself around me. As if on cue, the rest of them follow suit and before long we’re stood at the back of the classroom, just one, huge, group hug.
When they finally pull back, I can’t help but laugh in relief, resulting in a domino effect and soon we’re all laughing our hearts out, diminishing the dark mood that had settled itself in the room.
“I’m glad you told us,” Seungmin says, poking my cheek. “You can trust us.”
“Thanks Seungminie,” I say as I blow my nose, hard. I sense Chan stood behind me and I lean backwards into him, seeking out his warmth.
“I’m sorry I jumped on you, God I feel awful now,” Felix apologises, looking utterly heartbroken. My heart goes out to him and I get up and hug him as best as I can. He looks surprised but hugs me back, his warmth radiating through me like rays of sunshine.
“Don’t apologise. You couldn’t have known. It’s okay, Lixy,” I smile at him and he gives me his sunny smile back.
***
“Okay settle down guys,” our form teacher tells us, standing infront of the classroom with a stack of papers. “I’ve got an important piece of information for you all.”
This hushes the chitter chatter and all twenty nine faces give their attention to the woman at the front.
“Tomorrow is the annual school camping programme. You’re all required to attend as part of your studies, especially since it is on school grounds,” she says, brandishing the papers infront of us. “These letters have more details, and you must get them signed. No excuses.”
This causes another babble of talk to erupt as everyone begins to discuss the new event. I feel my stomach clench with anxiety. I hate the dark.
I look over at Chan who is studying my expression, realising it’s not a positive one. “What’s wrong sweetie?”
“I don’t like the dark,” I whisper, trying to make sure no one else hears. I’m unlucky, however, as the girl infront of me who happens to be one of Leah’s new best friends overhears it and whispers it to her. Leah’s eyes widen in delight and she stands up to yell.
“Everyone! Y/N is a baby - she’s scared of the dark!”