Hermione ignored the blue hair and instead rushed over to put her arms around me. It took everything in me to not start sobbing right then and there in her arms. But Carrie was next, then the others followed suit until I was in the middle of a group hug. That's when I started crying.
None of them asked questions and let my body shake as I sobbed, taking deep breaths between my cries. The tears ran down my cheeks and onto Hermione's pajama shirt. I was so insanely lucky to have them all. To have them hold and comfort me without knowing the real reason. To just be there for me like I'd be there for them.
The words Fred had spoken only moments earlier haunted my memory, repeated only making me cry harder. His face as he said it was burned in the back of my eyes- I could still see it. The disappointment. The quiet disappointment that I didn't know the reason to.
I soon felt disappointment as well when Hermione pulled away from the hug, the others backing up though placing a comforting hand on some spot on my body, observing the trails of salty tears.
"What happened, love?" The sincerity and sweetness of her tone could have fooled me if I didn't look at her face. She looked stern and fierce- protective, even. Protective for me.
My lips quivered. Carrie brought up a soft hand and wiped away a tear with her thumb, giving me a small, sad smile.
"Fred..." I didn't want to say it.
"Yes?" Hermione's voice was quiet but the look in her eyes was fierce. I love her, truly.
I debated whether I should spill everything, and decided they all deserved to know. So I did. I recalled everything that happened that night- except for telling them that I loved Fred. I wanted to savor the feeling of having the knowledge all to myself, no matter if it broke my heart a little.
The girls shared a look between one another, then back at me.
"I think he really likes you," Lavender said in a quiet voice- so quiet I barely heard. She looked almost nervous at my reaction as she picked at her nails.
I looked at her in disbelief, my eyes burning.
"No.." I shook my head slowly, my arms were still wrapped around my legs as I laid my chin on my knee.
There was a short silence as they watched me.
"He does," It was a new voice. Sienna.
I looked at her, my eyes softened. Her face showed so much certainty, her green eyes twinkled as she looked at me with a smile. Oh, how bad I wanted to believe her. How much I actually was willing to believe her.
"I don't want him to like me..." My voice trailed off and I felt their eyes on me. Confusion was all I felt around me.
"Don't you want him to be, I don't know.. You're boyfriend, or something like that?" Pavarti asked, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. Her black hair glistened in the light from the lamp, it was in a long, low ponytail.
I closed my eyes. Shut them tight- thinking of what I wanted. What did I want? Did I want him to be mine? My boyfriend, perhaps?
No, saying I wanted him to be my boyfriend sounded silly. The titles were silly to me- maybe because it seemed to be a way of owning someone, but maybe I'd allow Fred to call me his. But for now all I wanted was to be able to kiss him and for it to be normal- casual.
"I want him to love me," I said quietly, my voice felt smaller than a whisper. "I want his love more than a title. I want him.... I want him to love me like I love him- maybe more."
My friends didn't seem shocked. No, they seemed unphased by what I had just confessed- that I admitted loving Fred. But Sienna... She was smiling to herself more than to me- like something fell into place, something right. Her eyes told me the same.
"It was noticeable.." Celiné said, her tone sounded like she was unsure.
"It's in your eyes- the way you look at him," Hermione gave me a faint smile.
The eyes. Eyes show things- they give away feelings and truths- and lies. Eyes tell you things the person possessing them can not- or instead chooses not to, unless that person shields all emotion and allows themselves to seem cold and unfeeling.
I wished to shield all emotion in this very moment. I want to be unreadable. This one truth- this secret- that I had wished to savor for myself was already known. It no longer felt as special as it once did, as I had taken a moment to appreciate it moments before- but now I know that I gave myself away. My eyes.
"Then I won't look at him ever again," I muttered. I knew I wasn't capable of such a thing, they knew it too.
A moment of silence.
"What's it like- to be in love?"
I tore my eyes away from my knees that I glued my eyes to, only to be met with Celiné's curiously cautious face.
I hesitated before speaking. "It's not what I expected.."
That was true, true as it could ever be. The many romance books I've read had given me an expectation- I didn't know whether to hate or appreciate it.
"It hit me like a train," I said, looking at Celiné and then over her shoulder- at my bed. "It's not like the books. It's better, maybe."
Not entirely a lie.
"I knew the butterflies, the heart racing, the blushing.... But it's different- it swallows you whole," My voice was raw- I felt raw as I dug deep to describe how I felt- how I feel. "Body and soul."
Pride and Prejudice. Mr. Darcy's words felt so similar to mine at this moment. Maybe that was a bad thing, but then again, it could be wonderful.
I felt my friends staring, but I continued, my head tilting to the side.
"And I think that over time, he'll capture me without knowing it," The words were flowing, my mouth and mind on its own. "He'll captivate me further than I think I know, just by being him. By grabbing my heart without knowing he is, and maybe I'll let him break it- Or maybe he'll be gentle with it."
Celiné was watching me so carefully, my gaze shifted to my knees again.
"But maybe it's more than that- maybe It's my mind. No one ever thinks about the mind, just the heart. But when Fred does something- anything to mildly speed my heart rate- my mind scatters and I look for what to do or say. He's grabbed my mind and rattled it, and I don't care."
Silence. Not an awkward silence, just quiet and comforting.
"That was- that was..." Hermione's voice trailed off.
I looked up from my knees again- at my friends. Celiné had her mouth agape, as did Sienna. I looked around at Lavender, Parvati, and Carrie- all who looked awed by my explanation of my own thoughts and feelings. And Hermione sat and observed me closely, seemingly at a loss of words.
"It was beautiful, Y/n/n," Carrie claimed. "And oddly disturbing?"
I snorted, then laughed at the dramatic feeling that filled the dorm. I let the back of my head lay on the door.
"Sorry, I just got lost in my inner poet thing," I gave a soft laugh, a slight effort from my tiredness.
"I think you're tired and you need sleep, darling," Hermione smiled, standing out and holding out a hand.
I took that hand and soon I was under the covers, Celinè and Sienna tucked in close to either of my sides in my small bed. My eyes drooped with the sound of my friends relaxed breathing, as they too, began to fall asleep.
And then I was nothing but a sleeping girl who realized she loved a boy.
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Good Godric, thank you for magic- and the lovely Hogwarts food.
I sat at the Gryffindor table, eyes stuck on my food as I ate. My food choice was simple- porridge and a glass of orange juice- my remedy for homesickness. It was the meal Remus made whenever we ran out of the good stuff.
"Look at him, talking to Seamus," Harry grumbled, dropping his fork onto his plate as he glared at Ron- who was indeed talking to Seamus.
It's not like Ron really enjoyed speaking to Seamus, you could see it in his eyes. His eyes flickered to Harry from time to time, all too much to seem like he was focused on Seamus at all, really.
"Just talk to him, Harry," Hermione insisted, her eyes having a pleading look, her hazel eyes glazed over with it.
"He wouldn't do that, Mione darling," I scooped a bit of porridge with my spoon and tipped it back out into my bowl again. "His pride is a bit fragile."
"No," Harry glared at me. "I just don't want to beg for his forgiveness when he should be begging me."
"Oh," I smirked, my head raising up to look at him- I tilted my head. "So you want him to beg?"
Hermione choked on her biscuit, coughing for air- I had to hit her back several times before she gasped for air, finally breathing correctly. There were multiple people staring at us, and to my horror, Fred. And George... and Lee- and maybe Angelina too, but Freds eyes were still in my direction.
"Shut up, Y/n/n," Harry rolled his eyes, then they flickered over to Ron to check if he was looking. He wasn't. "Get your head out of the gutter."
"I'm sure you guys have kissed before, just to see what it's like, aye?" I was grinning, my eyes still locked with Harry's as I pushed Hermione's fork down so she wouldn't choke again.
I thoroughly enjoy teasing The Boy Who Lived.
Fred was still watching, George and Lee were in their own little world as they sat next to each other- talking as they looked at eachother, a certain gleam in their eyes. Angelina was watching too, and she was looking at me, her eyes stayed locked on my every move. They were far enough to not hear a word I said, but I was being closely monitored.
"Uh-" Harry painted a confused expression on his face, though there was a pink tinge on his cheeks. "No, but- but I'm sure you and Hermione have."
Everyone around us didn't seem to care what was happening in our area anymore without Hermione choking.
I gave a little laugh at his words. "No, but Carrie and I have- but if Hermione's up to makeout with me too that's fine with me," I shrugged.
I turned my head to see Hermione blushing hard as she poked at her food. Good old Hermione.
"Who said anything about making out?!" Harry looked at me, his eyes wide. He whisper-shouted his question, leaning forward a bit so no one would hear.
I only smirked, again. I cast my eyes to where Fred sat, and Fred looked away as soon as possible- but Angelina's eyes were unmoving. I didn't dare look at her, I hated awkward eye contact. Most of all with her.
"Third year," I shrugged, though casting my head towards where Carrie and Dean sat to the opposite side of the table on my left, she caught my eyes and sent her a wink. She only grinned before continuing her conversation with Dean.
"You are wild," Hermione shook her head, poking at her food again.
My "wildness" only turned to show again as I entered Moody's classroom for another dreadful lesson with the stupid git.
Neville sat down beside me again, and I gave him a smile. Hermione was sitting next to her partner, and Harry and Ron sat next to each other. They were both quiet and sat with scowls on their faces.
"Quiet!" Moody's voice echoed through the room, and the two girls that were whispering among themselves went quiet and their cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
"Do you ever not yell?" I questioned the professor, my chin now resting on my palm.
"Do you ever stop talking?" He snapped back, his scarred face scrunched with annoyance. His eyes were spinning all over me, fast and scanning every inch of my body.
I shifted in my seat. That magical eye never ceased to make me uncomfortable.
"Only when I've said everything I want to say," I said simply, batting my eyelashes. "But, believe me, I plan on saying a lot more things to you. A pity, none of them are very nice."
"Detention," His voice loud but not quite a yell, jerking his body to my desk and slamming his hands on the surface on either side of my arms.
I jumped at the motion. Now I might be a little terrified.
"Detention today, you stupid girl," He spat in my face. I scrunch my face in disgust. "If you talk one more time during my class, there'll be another. And another, until you learn to hush up."
A challenge. He really knows how to trigger a stubborn person.
"Challenge accepted," And despite the fear of his aggression, I grinned.
He only pulled back and stood up straight, giving me one last glare before turning towards the board. Neville didn't dare speak and only inched his hand to my arm, holding onto it and giving it a squeeze. I felt it shake against my skin.
"It's alright, Neville," I whispered, taking the hand that my chin resting on and planted it on his, returning the squeeze as my eyes stayed on the professor as he began to write words.
Moody whipped around to cast me a warning glare before continuing to scratch on the board with chalk.
"After speaking with Professor Dumbledore," Moody wrote one last word on the board before chucking the chalk over his head and into the stone floor. "I have permission to teach you children how to defend yourselves against the imperius curse!"
The class went quiet. Hermione raised her hand.
"Yes, Ms. Granger?" He asked, his foot tapping against the ground as what I saw as impatience.
"With all do respect, sir," Her voice was timid and shaky, and her eyes flicked to me for a heart beat before she looked back at the professor. "Isn't- Isn't the imperius curse, well... unforgivable?"
Moody smiled, the smile I saw as cruel, and he said, "Correct, Ms. Granger! And that's why we must learn it- to protect yourselves. If you decide to not learn how to defend yourself you may stay in your seat and remain cowardly, but I find the latter option worse."
Hermione flushed and looked down. "That's not what I meant-"
"So, you're saying that if a student chooses not to get hit with the imperious curse they're a coward?" I asked. "Because that seems like that's what you're saying, and I think that's utter bollocks."
"I advise you to keep your mouth closed, girl, before it gets you somewhere you don't want to be," Moody said in a voice that only further encouraged me to think he was a psycho.
Just as I opened my mouth to snap at him, I caught Hermione's eye. They were glazed with tears as she shook her head at me- warning me. So I only leaned further in my chair. Moody was obviously surprised at the fact I hadn't responded, as he scoffed and began speaking again.
"Any first volunteers?" He asked, his magical eye whizzing around the room.
I raised my hand. So did Harry and some others, and Moody only nodded before telling us all to help him move the desks around for space.
Soon, there was a line behind a Slytherin boy- I was three people behind him.
"Step up, boy!" Moody encouraged the empty space where desks had once been.
The boy held his chin high with a smug look as he stepped into the middle of the space, now standing before professor Moody's upheld wand.
"Try and fight it," Moody said, and without further warning, shouted: "Imperio!"
The boy was no longer in a smug, proud stance- but instead flapping his arms around and running in small circles in imitation of a bird. I couldn't help but laugh at him- but the smile wiped off my face the moment Moody grinned. It was so... terrifying to me, it was hard to explain.
"Fight it, boy!" Moody bellowed, waving his wand in circles. "Fight it!"
He didn't fight it in the end. The next one was close to defeating it, but she slipped and fell backwards only for Moody to release the spell and levitate her above the ground before she could make contact with the cold, stone floor.
Two people left in front of me- it went by quickly, until I was at the front of the line. I looked back at Harry, giving him a wink with much effort. Believe it or not, I was scared.
I was standing in front of Moody, his wand raised at chest level. My eyes met his, and there was only a look of sickening joy- joy of perhaps using unforgivable curses on kids, I didn't know. But when he smiled, one so close to a grin, my breaths quickened.
The Quidditch World Cup.
The same look of joy- of pleasure- was in the death eater's eyes. Lucius's eyes. My hands felt tingly and shaky as I felt the shadow of the pain I had endured that night, and it made me feel sick. I was back to the woods, sprawled on the cool grass as I let the spells hit me- again and again. I couldn't stop it, not when I struggled to bite down my screams.
I couldn't stop it- I didn't stop it. But I could run now.
Only, I didn't. My feet were planted to the floor, I was stuck and I was scared. I don't like being scared. All I felt was the shaking of my body, the stares, the liquid that ran down my cheeks- my tears. And the only thing I saw was Moody's eyes, the ones that were filled with joy- but now they were wide with concern- not for me, I noticed. But for him.
His normal, brown eye flickered darker- a darker shade of brown. As I had seen in detention, his skin on his cheek bubbled. But before I could say or do anything, he lowered his wand and quickly whipped out his flask, gulping it down fast.
Harry's voice was muffled from my ears as he asked something- whether it was for me or Moody, I did not know. My limbs felt loose again as his wand was no longer pointed at me and his eyes were directed at Harry. I wanted to vomit but I swallowed it back down with effort.
I ran. I ran from the classroom as fast as I could. Away from the horror I had been trapped into again- away from the embarrassment my fear had brought to me. I hadn't bothered taking my bag, I just ran blindly into the hall.
I didn't care about the very few people I bumped into as I ran to nowhere- but running to nowhere was better than being in that memory again. But I happened to care as I ran into someone who shrieked in fury as I hit them.
"What on earth are you doing?!" Mcgonagall questioned me, voice going shrill.
My eyes were blurry from the tears in my eyes, but I blinked them away- and there she was, towering over me, rage written all over her face. But then she looked me in the face, and her face slacked and her eyes softened.
"Come with me, Ms. Black."
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The rest of the remaining time of my Defense Against the Dark Arts class- which I had run away from- I spent with Mcgonagall. She let me sit in the chair across from where she sat, on the other side of her desk, to let me rant about everything going on with my life- even my situation with Fred, leaving out the kissing details, but still told her.
I let her see me cry- it was pointless, seeing as she ran into my tear-stained face in the hall. And though she was a stern professor, I knew her soft side was there. It showed as she listened to me talk, and made me tea.
Taking a last gulp of the delicious tea she made me, I said, "I had dreams about... that night before- but they stopped occurring as often. And then today..."
"You were tortured, and were lucky enough to not have gone insane," A grim look passed over her face before it cleared again- looking at me again.
"But I think I have- gone insane, I mean," I said quietly, gripping my mug with both hands for comfort. "Just a little... just these dreams and- and... whatever happened today."
"You're not insane," Mcgonagall shook her head, her hands reaching out for my mug. I let her take it and replace it with her hand. "That pain and the fear- It left an impact on your mind. You said he kept casting it for a while... I think that pain- and the fear you had while that death eater was using the curse on you... it made a scar. An invisible scar in your mind, you need time to heal."
Her hand gave mine a squeeze, and I smiled.
"I think you're right, but how am I supposed to heal if I- if I..." My words trailed off and I stared at the desk, my eyes unfocusing.
"I can't take you from professor Moody's class, but I will write you a pass you can use at all times," Mcgonagall said, reading me perfectly. "Be as respectful as you can, I can't get you out of detention, dear."
I gave a small laugh. "Maybe. But, then again, he pushed me over my chair for saving a spider's life- and tortured Neville like that, so I think I'll keep going."
Mcgonagall gave me a stern look, and I said in a small voice, "I'll try, Minnie. I'll try."
"That's good enough, dear." She gave me a sad smile, and then her eyes went to my hair. "You look stunning with your hair, by the way. But tell those boys to quit experimenting things on their friends- no matter how shockingly clever those inventions may be.".
I laughed but said, "Will do, professor."
She smiled and walked me to my next class.
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Snape's class was my last of the day- and I was hoping the class would last longer, just to be able to escape my detention. I never dared fight with Snape, unless it was something really really worth it. There was something about him, his cold, unchanging demeanor that made me cower and keep my mouth shut.
But now, as I stood in front of Moody's classroom door, I felt my gut churning. Regret- or the fear of facing him again after... that incident.
Raising a shaky fist, I hovered it above the wood before knocking hard. It didn't take long for the door to swing open, and the raggedy man I had no hesitation to argue with, now stood. And now, I felt like hesitating- like cowering.
"Get in," Moody merely locked his eyes with mine. "You know what to do."
I couldn't do it, not today. I couldn't hold the stare I usually could, and I let myself look down to the ground before shoving past him into the classroom. Moody stilled in shock of my loss of nerve, I assumed.
My voice was content with staying in my throat, stuck, as I took my quill and parchment and began writing the usual essay on respect.
When I am angry, or irritated, I tend to talk in a disrespectful manner- I crumpled the paper in my hands and started over on a fresh piece of parchment.
Moody, now sitting at his desk, watching my every move, snorted. I didn't dare laugh, or move- my hand was stilled over the parchment.
"Finally at a loss for words, girl?" Moody mused.
I gritted my teeth but said nothing- did nothing. Only the space between my quill and parchment was keeping me from leaving this room.
Moody only watched, shifting his legs as he leaned back in his chair. My mind was scrambling, trying to find something to write- something I hadn't already written to avoid actually apologizing to him.
Stubbornness kept me here, in detention. It was stupid, so stupid, she knew. But it was a hard thing to fight, but today... today was a shock and a fear, and I hated every second I stood before those eyes- the cruel joy in his eyes. The same look that Lucius had.
No, I would not write an essay- and no, I would not use clever words to brush away from the subject. I would apologize, not having to mean it, but to write it on parchment and be done. And maybe I'd feel in control.
I didn't slam the two-word letter of apology onto his desk, but instead placed it on the table and pushed it toward him. Only for a second did I let myself look down before meeting his eyes.
Surprise and confusion, no evil gleam- just the former. I held his gaze strong before turning toward the door, and swinging my bag over my shoulder before walking- not stomping- out into the corridor.
I let myself take deep breaths, to feel the sunshine through the windows and onto me. A rare sight to see this far into October, when usually the sun is hidden beneath the clouds. There were students in the corridors, chatting amongst themselves without the responsibility of having to arrive at the next class- just to have a friendly conversation after school. A few of them spared me glances as I walked down the hall, I gave small smiles in return.
It was a Friday, and tomorrow I would be going to Hogsmeade with Fred- who I hadn't spoken to all day, a curse of being in different a year and different classes. So, the afternoon was spent with Hermione and Harry, practicing the summoning charm.
And I was prepared to spend the next day with Fred.
ᴛʜɪʀᴅ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ ᴘᴏᴠ
•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•
It was chilly- not quite cold, but windy enough to make Y/n's nose go cold. She placed her hands in the pockets of her large, beige business coat to keep her hands warm, her doc martens trudging alongside Fred's white converses. Wizards did appreciate Muggle clothing, the non-blood supremacists, at least.
Y/n wasn't hostile towards Fred. No, she acted casual as could be- but beneath, in her mind, there was a silent shield, attempting to block every strong feeling for him as she laughed and joked with him. But what she didn't know was that Fred was doing the same.
The large group of Hogwarts students filled the path to Hogsmeade, the loud chatter filling the chilly air. Fred stayed silent beside her, though stealing glances and bumping her with his shoulder from time to time. And from behind them, Harry walked and watched them- and Hermione was walking with Ron, talking in harsh whispers.
As the wind kissed her face once more, as she said, rubbing her nose, "How are you not cold?"
Fred looked down, watching her look up at him; rosy cheeks and a bright pink nose that she held a hand to, a poor attempt at warming herself up. But it was her hair blown by the wind and onto her face that made him smile, laughing at her scrunched up face when her hair wouldn't stop flowing over her face.
"I am- a little," He smiled and shrugged. "But it's not too cold, for me at least. But you look like you're struggling, love."
Y/n only scoffed before pulling the hair back from her face, her hand gripping the blue hair into a makeshift ponytail- her curtain bangs still whipped around. Fred laughed a breathy, short laugh before he tucked them behind her ears. She rolled her eyes, ignoring the little heat the action brought to her cheeks.
They were walking in the town of Hogsmeade soon enough, Y/n peering through the windows of shops if something caught her eye. And, obviously, Fred made an attempt at getting into Zonko's joke shop before dragging him by the arm.
"So... candy?" Y/n leaned into Fred's shoulder, nudging him toward the candy shop she adored.
"Of course," Fred placed a hand on the shoulder opposite to the one leaning against him, and steered them to the shop.
Y/n let out a muffled shriek of joy as she shook her fists in excitement, eyeing the chocolate in the window display.
"I'm buying," Y/n pulled out a few galleons as they stepped into the shop.
Fred took her hand by the wrist, taking the galleons and shoving them back in the pocket of her coat closest to his side. "I believe that's my honor."
"Uh huh, sure," Y/n rolled her eyes, then sniffed the sweet, candy-scent filled air, eyes closing as a blissful look crossed her face.
It took everything in that invisible shield in Fred's mind to not kiss her right there, and to not grab fistfuls of her hair and move his mouth with hers. She made it clear by the shock on her face when he asked her to the party that she wanted to be friends- or so he thought, and he'd respected that no matter how much it pained him.
The other Hogwarts students huddled around the candy drawers, picking and choosing their items to purchase. Y/n was already in the chocolate drawer, shoving others to make her way to the sweet cocoa.
"There she goes," Fred murmured, following after her.
When he reached her in two steps from where he stood before, she had five large bars of the chocolate in her arms with a smile as she turned to face him.
"You have to share with me," Fred pushed out his lower lip, not caring about the blonde girl near them gawking at him.
"We'll see," Y/n shrugged, brushing past him on her way to the counter.
He pulled her back by the collar of her coat, making sure he got there first. Four long strides got him there, and Y/n rushed over behind him.
"Hello," The plump, middle-aged witch greeted, a sweet smile on her red coated lips. "You can put your items on the counter, ma'am."
Y/n reached from behind Fred and placed the bars of chocolate on the wooden surface of the countertop. The witch placed her wand upon each bar, then typed fast on her type-writer, a receipt on parchment appearing from thin air seconds layer.
"10 galleons," The witch said, tucking a short, blonde curl behind her ear.
Fred reached into his jean pocket, but Y/n had her coins ready and slid in between Fred and the counter. He stilled, and a blush creeped into his cheeks at her contact and closeness. He didn't even notice her place the coins on the counter as he focused on her backside against him... well, that was until he heard the coins clank on the dark wood.
His hand grabbed either side of her waist, turned her body around, and he reached over her to grab the coins on the counter. Her body stayed frozen as he leaned over her, his front to hers and he tucked the coins back into her pocket.
"Can't have her paying for her chocolate, can I?" Fred sent the witch a charming grin. "I wouldn't be a gentleman."
The witch gave a small laugh and Fred laid out ten galleons for the payment. The money he had saved over a bit of time didn't feel wasted, not when it was for her, so he only grinned down at Y/n as the witch took the money, greeting them goodbye and a thanks.
"Smart move, I guess," Y/n grumbled, pulling Fred by the arm out of the shop.
Fred grabbed the paper bag the older witch placed on the counter before Y/n dragged him out of the shop.
The sweet scent of Honeydukes lingered for a moment as they stepped out into the windy streets, hair blowing. As Y/n looked back, arm still pulling, she caught sight of Fred's shoulder-length hair ruffling in the wind. Yep, definitely a sucker for long hair.
"Are you going to take me into an alleyway and murder me for buying you chocolate?" Fred asked, and Y/n could tell he was grinning. He always was.
She gave a laugh, pulling him through the street filled with students. The wind blew light now, the roaring of it beating in Y/n's ear was gone as Fred willingly followed Y/n's tug into an empty space between two shops.
"This seems like an alleyway," Fred laughed, Y/n savoring the sound.
"It's a short cut- so we don't have to bump into people to find a place to eat at," Y/n rolled her eyes, pulling Fred further. taking a turn at the end of the small alleyway.
"You know there's the Three Broomsticks, right?" Fred knew she did, but asked nonetheless.
"No duh, Fred," Y/n said in a know-it-all tone.
Fred only laughed- like he always did- as Y/n made the final turn, looping to another passageway between two buildings and into a clearer side of the main Hogsmeade route. A single bench, the earth beneath it scattered with bronze leaves- the occasional appearance of deep red ones.
Though there were other people there, they sat on picnic blankets and laughed at things Fred and Y/n didn't know. There were three groups of people scattered around the grassy landscape next to the walkway. Y/n pulled Fred for the last few moments before she plopped down on the wooden bench right on the edge of the path. Fred followed suit.
"I've been here before," Fred said, looking around at the familiarity.
The students were usually occupied at The Three Broomsticks, Honeydukes, Zonkos, or the small clothing shop- they knew of this quieter area, but only a few actually came here.
"Oh?" Y/n perked up, grabbing the handle of the paper bag Fred offered her.
Fred's grin grew wider, looking at Y/n set and ready for a story of himself. No matter how popular he and George were, he adored the way Y/n seemed to focus on his telling of fun stories. And Fred always made them a bit more detailed and dramatic, just for her amusement.
"Fifth year, after we lost to the Hufflepuffs," Fred began, and Y/n frowned at the memory of Harry plummeting to the ground from the dark, stormy clouds. "So, Oliver tried drowning himself after the game. and George was like 'Oi, we should sneak him some fire whiskey, just to cheer him up'. And, of course, Lee and I were on board."
Y/n smiled, remembering hearing Fred say something about Oliver trying to drown himself in the showers as they were clustered around Harry in the Hospital wing. She started liking him that year, she now realized. Back then, she thought she saw him as a good friend- but looking back on it now... she was a flustered thirteen year old girl, falling for Fred. And that was only the beginning.
"So," Fred's voice snapped her from her thoughts. "We go down the stairs and all- but we don't use some secret passageway, we use the main entrance! Smart, eh?"
Y/n laughed, nodding as she peeled open the wrapper to the first chocolate bar.
"We didn't get caught," Fred had a smug expression as he leaned back into the bench, tossing an arm on the back- his arm close so being around Y/n's shoulders. "And we went to the Hog's Head- they don't even check for your age! But I say we looked a lot older for our age, don't you think?"
"Nah," Y/n shook her head, smiling as she plopped a broken piece of chocolate into her mouth. "You guys looked like little baby's."
"Says you," Fred scoffed before continuing with his story, "Anyways, when we started heading back, we made a pit stop over here," His grin was broad. "Lee and George were pushing each other on this bench, and they both fell while I laughed at them."
The reminiscing look on his face was enough to make her heart swell- then scold herself for it.
"Did Oliver actually try drowning himself?" Y/n asked, breaking another piece of the milk chocolate.
Fred nodded to the chocolate in her hands, giving her a raised brow, as if saying, answer for a piece of chocolate. Y/n understood, and brought her hand up to his mouth and placed it in.
She hadn't realized what she did until Fred hummed at the flavor of the rich chocolate, nudging her in thanks. Her cold, pink-tinged cheeks turn a shade pinker.
"No, he stayed in the shower long enough, pouting, for us to assume, though," Fred chewed the last remains of the chocolate and nodded towards her hand again. She gave him more chocolate, then he said, "He still got the fire whiskey, but he shared it with us because we're irresistible."
Fred picked a piece of chocolate with his own hands this time, inching closer towards Y/n. But he didn't eat it, he instead lifted a hand toward Y/n's mouth, beckoning her to open. She did, and took it without turning red and flustered, only playfully rolling her eyes.
"Are you sad you didn't get in the tournament?" Y/n didn't know where the questions came from.
Fred leaned closer, the warmth of his body seeping to her body, he only nuzzled closer- she realized he was shaking the slightest bit.
"No," Fred admitted. "But the money would have been nice to have- to start the shop."
Y/n gave a "Mmm," as her response, allowing Fred to warn her.
"I'm cold," Fred pouted, trying to get closer than he already was. Y/n could've sworn she felt him sick out his lower lip, giving a pouty look- like the one he used to get her to dye her hair blue.
Fred only wore a long sleeve sweater, beige and knitted, and jeans. Y/n, on the other hand, had worn warmer attire beneath her coat; an oversized sweater with baggy jeans, and wool socks hugged her feet with warmth in her Doc Martens.
Shrugging off her coat, Fred leaned back off of her, watching her take off the large business coat without hesitation. Fred looked at her outfit beneath, warmer and cozier than his- thicker sweater and pants to keep her warm. But when Y/n placed her coat around his shoulders, he let himself take it off and place it on her again.
"Fred," Her voice was stern as she lifted her coat off and onto his shoulders. "Take off this coat one more time, I dare you."
Fred didn't dare. He removed the hands that were on the sides of the jacket, ready to take it off, but he let them fall onto the bench instead.
"Smart move," Y/n smiled, chin high as she took another piece of the delicious chocolate.
Her smile was more than he needed to outright kiss her, and he didn't care about the other people around them- but he hesitated when he leaned forward in the slightest, remembering her face. The face she made when he'd asked her out to the party, he still couldn't figure out whether the wide eyes and raised brows were a good or bad sign.
"So.." Y/n spoke as the silence drew out, the wind seemed to pick up- like an urge for someone to speak. "About the Halloween party..."
"Sorry for asking you like that," Fred apologized, tucking himself in her coat more- the smell of comfort and blazing flames consumed him. The feeling of her scent was just as that, comforting and bold. Honey and tea- her favorite holiday blend, he assumed, pages of a fresh book- her romance novels, of course. It was all very.... Her. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to take this coat for himself, just to be reminded of her.
Fred, lost in the thought process of- well, her- hadn't realized she asked him something. He soon realized it though, when she nudged him saying, "Fred, did you just go into another dimension?"
"Hmm?" Fred looked at her finally and Y/n felt the hum flow through her ears, surprising herself when she shivered.
"Why are you sorry?" Y/n looked confused, and for a second, so did Fred.
He understood fast enough, saying, "Well, I just thought you wanted- I don't know... for someone to ask you out romantically. Like, in the books you read?"
Trust me, the whole night felt romantic, she thought.
Out loud, she said, "Oh, it's alright."
"I heard about the people that asked you out," Fred said in the most casual tone he could muster.
Y/n tensed.
"Was it a date date?" Fred asked, forcing himself to give her a teasing grin.
"I said no- to all of them," Y/n shrugged, beginning to pick at her nails.
"Oh?" Fred was obviously curious, but Y/n didn't dare look him in the eyes- and he could feel the jealousy flow through him.
"I was going with someone, so I had to turn them all down," She kept her voice clear, unbothered and unwavering.
"Who?" The words came out sharp- sharp enough for her to sneak a peak at him.
His face was set in a grin- strained and too wide. It didn't reach his eyes, the strange look of tiny rage simmering in the honey brown, and they flecked darker. His slight broken facade had her thinking twice about everything.
As friends... was that all they really were?
"Cedric," She replied after a short silence, the wind beating through her hair and ears. Her voice was quieter- smaller than she liked, but Fred heard.
"Cedric," He repeated, testing out the name on his tongue- he found he didn't like it very much. "Pretty Boy Diggory?"
She shot him a glare, "Yes, Pretty Boy Diggory."
"Why'd you ditch him?" Fred kept his words short, almost snappy. Turns out he didn't enjoy Y/n calling Cedric pretty.
"I didn't," Y/n dared to look at him, her face bothered and casual.
Fred raised a brow.
"He asked if he could go with someone else," She shrugged, she didn't mind when he asked. "I said 'sure'- only because he deserved to go with someone who liked him back."
Y/n watched as Fred went quiet, putting the pieces together in silence. When it seemed he cracked the code, his brows only rose an inch.
"So he likes you.. And you don't?" Fred's voice was quiet, almost... vulnerable. Y/n saw it as curiosity.
"Duh," Y/n rolled her eyes playfully, releasing a breath she didn't even realize she held. It seemed Fred did too.
The wind blew harder, and two people from their picnic behind Fred and Y/n walked on the path and to the bustle of the Hogwarts students- they seemed young enough to be students themselves.
"And what about the people who asked you.. after?" Fred asked, hesitating on the last word.
Y/n looked at him and gave a weak smile. She didn't know what to say- how could she? How could she tell him she waited for him to ask her- especially after he asked her as friends?
Picking at a cuticle on her thumb, she spoke, "I was waiting- for someone I... knew. Someone who wasn't a stranger, I guess."
"Well, you're in luck then," Fred grinned, a triumphant feeling sparking through him. Y/n didn't like Cedric, thank Merlin.
It was only when she looked at him again did that spark fade away. There was a weak smile on her lips, faltering as he met her gaze. She looked almost pitiful, and he hated it. Her eyes didn't even reach that forced smile, they just... stared. Blank dark brown eyes- near black with the lack of sun shining down on them- a little flicker of pain washed over them before she cleared her throat.
"Speaking of us going together," She straightened her slumped posture, a some-what genuine smile painting over her previous one. "We need costumes. And we need them to be mega awesome, mate."
Fred looked her over once, a bit confused by the change of emotion, but grinned wide all the same. Even if that concern for her still lingered beneath it.
"Oh, trust me, it will be," Fred winked. Ah, that special Fred wink.
"No, I don't think you understand," Y/n shook her head, laughing, then snapping her face to him- looking serious as ever. "I'm obsessed with Halloween. We. Can't. Mess. This. Up."
Fred blinked, then grinned from ear-to-ear, leaning close to her face. He felt her breath hitch as their nose was a mere inch apart.
"What've you got in mind?"
"A lot of things, Fred. A lot of things."
•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•
A/N:
sorry for the short chapter, loves. things have been a bit busy with preparing my mental health for the school year and trying to maintain it in the first week- and were on the second week. i finished 'a court of thornes and roses' book series, and it was so good! i 100% recommend it. i love sarah j maas's writing, and im currently reading 'throne of glass' series. im a fast reader so i finished acotar in 3 weeks and i finished assasians blade (book n.1 from tog) in a day- on an un-busy saturday, mind you. and im pretty far in throne of glass (book n.2 from tog). also, i have a bruise from being knocked in the face- and when i tell you i FLEW backwards with the impact. 😟 i hope to get close with my l.a teacher cause i love l.a, because reading and writing are my fav hobbies. but all my teachers like me rn so # girlboss
thank you guys for almost 4.k! i cant express how much you all mean to me! thank you for being patient with me, i will try to update more, but my focus this year is school. i will try my hardest to post quick, but i cant fail my classes again this year- it was too stressful :(
sending my love to you all! <333
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