The bell rang, signifying the end of the school day. The class broke into chatter as Sensei called out a last few reminders and Kisa walked out to the hallway with Minako.
Weeks have passed since her encounter with Miyamura that one day. She kept her promise to herself that she wouldn't run to him, even when blood dripped down her face and she could barely see out of her swollen eyes.
It was hard. She wanted to be engulfed by his comfort, and his house was only a few blocks away from hers. But Kisa couldn't, there was too much at stake. No matter how bad it hurts, she can't lose her father.
Miyamura still checked up on her, but only in passing, and it would make her heart race knowing he cared.
Then she wondered if it was all just a delusion in her head; Miyamura is kind to everyone. Oh, and there was also the fact that he was hopelessly in love with and utterly devoted to Hori Kyouko. Everyone knew it.
"Hey, I need to go to the bathroom so you can go ahead," Kisa said to Minako.
"See you tomorrow,"her best friend smiled cheerfully as always. Sometimes she wondered how she got so lucky to have a light like her.
As Kisa got out of the restroom, the halls were already cleared out; only a few students lingered around. On her way to her locker, she stopped in her tracks when she heard incoherent yelling coming from one of the classrooms. Whoever it was, was really, really mad, and Kisa felt bad for whoever was on the receiving end.
She wondered if a student was being yelled at, but as she got closer to the door, she recognized the voice.
"Do you even know how that makes me feel? Do you even love me?" Hori's harsh tone made her cringe.
It felt wrong to eavesdrop, but Kisa felt like it would be abandoning Miyamura if she left. And she owed him that much to make sure he was okay.
Miyamura was so much softer, she had to strain her ears to hear. "I- I do, of course I do Hori-"
"Then why can't you make me happy?"
Slap.
The sound made Kisa shake, and she covered her mouth to avoid letting a gasp escape.
She hit him. Hard.
She was frozen in her place, imagining Miyamura. Vulnerable, scared. Him bearing the pain, all in the name of love.
Kisa wanted to go in there, tell Hori it wasn't right. Tell him he'll be okay. Make her know it was hurting him and breaking-
"H-Hori!" Miyamura called out, and Kisa heard footsteps coming closer.
She quickly braced against the wall, then all she saw was Hori's back as she rushed out of the room angrily. She didn't see me, but I was afraid of what would've happened if she did.
Miyamura didn't follow after her. It was silent, and Kisa wondered what he was thinking. Nothing self-deprecating, she hoped.
A few seconds passed and she felt compelled to walk in and see him.
He was leaned back against one of the desks, eyes trained on the floor. Kisa frowned at the sight of his red, swollen cheek that he was caressing lightly with his fingers.
Once he saw her, he sat up straight, forcing a smile. "Takagi! Hey," Miyamura greeted casually.
He glanced at her guilty expression and his shoulders immediately drooped again. "You heard that, didn't you?"
Kisa bit her lip, contemplating whether a white lie was necessary. "Just a little bit."
He avoided her eyes like an ashamed puppy, and she felt herself wanting to grab his face and make him look at her. She didn't know why, but Kisa didn't want him to hide from her.
Miyamura had his wall up, like it always was at school. The sadness in his eyes from yesterday, it hurt to see, but it was better than the blank stare he had now.
"I'm sorry-"
"Don't say that," Kisa cut him off. "Don't ever say that."
Miyamura looked at her, awestruck, before nodding.
"How about we go to the nurse's office? I'm kind of best friends with the nurse, you know."
He seemed to appreciate the attempt at lightening the heavy air around them and proceeded to follow Kisa into the hall.
They walked in silence, and it reminded Kisa of the day he helped her. It was kind of ironic now, with the situation they were in; I guess it was my turn to return the favor, she thought.
Miyamura got an ice pack to soothe his cheek and the two ventured outside.
"Do you mind walking together? The coffee shop I usually go to is near your house," Kisa clutched her bag nervously, awaiting his answer. Why was I nervous?
"Of course, let's go," he beamed, then they proceeded to delve into the topics of the coffee shop and they somehow got into the subject of Miyamura's family bakery as both walked the streets together.
Kisa soaked in everything Miyamura told her about him. Slowly, his wall was coming down, and it was like a river was hiding behind it.
He talked to her about how he's an only child, but he wishes he had siblings. Sisters specifically.
He said that the bakery has been run by his family for 75 years, and that he loves working there. It's what he wants to do for his life.
Then he somehow went off on a rant about how he dislikes making strawberry cake the most because it tends to need more crumb coats than the others. (Kisa didn't really understand, but she loved hearing him so passionate.)
Miyamura said that she could drop by anytime and he'd let her try a new recipe he was working on.
"Well enough about me," Miyamura said. "Tell me about you."
Kisa hesitantly smiled. She thought for a moment on where to start, making mental notes of what to leave out. Honestly, she hated this question, because she wasn't half as interesting as the person who asked.
"Well, I have an older brother, but um... He's 8 years older, so we aren't really close. He lives in France," she explained.
"Wow, France. I've always wanted to go. What's his name?"
"Isamu," she answered.
To be truthful, Kisa almost forgets he exists. She doesn't even know the last time she said his name out loud and she hasn't spoken to him in years, since he left the house. She thinks she's always held a grudge against him, for leaving, but how could she blame him she'd do the same?
"I live with my dad, and my mom is... away right now," Kisa told a half- truth. She knew where her mom was, and she knew she would always be away. But he didn't have to know that.
Miyamura nodded in understanding. "So are you and your dad close?"
She unconsciously recoiled at the question, and he seemed to take that as an answer.
"Not really. Anyways, for the future, I'm not as sure as you. I think I want to teach, but I don't know yet, I haven't really thought that far," Kisa changed the topic.
Miyamura hummed, "You would make a great teacher. I can already see it: Takagi-Sensei."
"Better than Yasuda-Sensei, that's for sure," She laughed.
They were nearing his house and Kisa found herself feeling sad.
"Hey...Thanks Takagi-san, um... sorry our meetings are always starting off like this," Miyamura chuckled softly.
He was looking down at her with a smile and Kisa wondered if she made him forget about what happened, just as he did for her that day.
"It's no problem. I just- I wish I could somehow make it up to you for helping me the other day," she said.
"No, I did that because you're my friend," Miyamura insisted. "Friends don't need to repay each other for help."
His words made her stomach flip. She'd never thought about what they were exactly; they weren't strangers. He'd seen her at her lowest, and she didn't think acquaintances was the right word either.
But friends? Kisa really liked that.
"Thank you," she felt her face heat. "Still, I'm really grateful for what you did for me Miyamura-kun."
His face suddenly twisted as if he remembered something, and it made her feel sick. "Uh- I-Is something wrong?"
"No- It's just, I wanted to ask you something Takagi," he scratched at his neck, as if his next words were hard for him to spit out.
She nodded for him to go ahead.
"Well... I notice at school that you, you know, you still get hurt from boxing. I guess I was just wondering why you hadn't come to me for help? I- I mean you probably have other people that help you, but... do you? I just want to say it again, that I'm always here to help. You're not a bother, at all, Takagi," he rambled nervously, before looking at her for her reaction.
Kisa honestly thought he wouldn't notice. She thought they were just going to forget it ever happened and pass each other with a wave at school. But she thinks he actually does care. And the thought made her eyes well up embarrassingly.
"Takagi? I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?" Miyamura furrowed his eyebrows as he took in the girl's glassy eyes.
"No, no, sorry, I don't know why I'm-" she wiped at her face. "I just didn't expect you to say that."
He smiled softly, stopping in his tracks. Kisa was surprised when he lifted his hand to pat her head gently, but she immediately melted into the touch.
"I don't know why, Kisa, but I feel this strange protectiveness over you. When I saw you... that day... I was having these thoughts. They were bad- I just- I felt really useless and undeserving of anything," Miyamura looked down at his hands. "And when I saw you, I got this urge to help. Then after, I felt okay. I felt like I actually did something good and it was because of you."
A sadness came over Kisa at his confession; how can someone like him feel like that? Someone who is so kind, so selfless, and she thought that about him without really knowing him.
She was also taken aback, once again, at his openheartedness. When Kisa first saw him in class, back when he still had long hair and glasses, she would have taken him as the type of person you would need to pry open in order to know anything about him. But here he was, vulnerable and open, right in front of her.
She envied that; it wasn't as easy for her.
"Miyamura... We aren't close, but I see how you are. You're always good to everyone, whether you try or not. You deserve everything," she told him, trying to pour every ounce of sincerity into her words.
Then Miyamura grabbed her hand, catching her completely off guard. She stared at him with wide eyes as he held it.
She felt tingly and lightheaded and every emotion at once. His hand was softer than she had ever imagined, and he was holding onto her as if she were delicate china. 'Thank you' his face read.
Kisa's cheeks burnt up, and he dropped her hand.
They continued their walk in an appreciative quiet, and Kisa's heart was pounding in her ears.
They finally arrived in front of his apartment complex when Miyamura spoke, "I meant what I said Kisa, you know where I am if you're hurt again."
She smiled gratefully, nodding. Out of nowhere, Miyamura started to laugh, making her tilt her head in confusion. "What's so funny?"
"No- sorry- it's just I had this weird thought, it's nothing though," Miyamura said between giggles, and Kisa couldn't help but join in on the contagious laughter, despite not understanding.
She poked him in the stomach teasingly, "Hey, you better tell me."
Apparently she struck a funny bone because he retaliated and went into an even bigger fit of chuckles. She watched him with a jokingly angry face, but secretly she enjoyed watching him like this. She swore she'd never even seen him laugh in that way at school.
He started to walk away to his apartment and looked back at her, "It's not even that funny
I was just thinking that... You know how I said I wanted a sister? Well, I don't know, it kind of feels like you're mine."
What?
Did he just... sister-zone me?
I mean I get that he has a girlfriend, but this is ultimately worse. So much worse.
"You're real dumb," Kisa rolled her eyes playfully as she walked away, but deep down a twinge of pain dwelled in her chest.