Xavier
After switching off with Rhonda, I went straight behind the counter. I wanted a wall to separate me from Dominick, and to make sure he felt the distance I felt.
Even though I couldn't help but fall into his arms for a minute when I saw him. I just needed to feel that comfort and protection while the earth was literally shaking beneath me.
Dominick frowned and pressed his fingers against his temples. He looked very tired, like he had aged on that short trip. "I'm trying to think of something I could do to right this, but I know the garden is already gone."
"It's what it is," I said, crossing my arms. "Georgia and I spent the weekend mourning the place. Even saved a few plants that we transported into our gardens."
Dominick nodded. "Still, it's a loss."
"You don't know the half of it," I said. "It has just about torn the business association in half, too." I sat back on the stool. "You should avoid the café while you're in the neighborhood, by the way."
"I can go back to the office," he said with a hoarse voice. "Get to the bottom of this."
"No," I said. "That won't help anything." I sighed and summoned my strength, clenching my fists at my side. I'd been thinking all weekend about what to say to him, but still, the words were lodged in the back of my throat like a sticky piece of taffy.
"It's not just the garden. It's the fact that I spent the whole weekend wishing I could call you but knowing you weren't available. I'm really excited about the time we're spending together, and maybe it doesn't mean that much to you, but it does to me." I took in another deep breath to steady myself. "It takes a lot out of me to do what we're doing, and I'm not sure I can keep doing it with someone who has one foot out the door."
I realized my muscles were tense as a board, and I forced myself to release them. Better to face things now, I figured, than when the summer came and he left for good. If we ended it, I would at least save myself from the heartbreak that would follow a year of tortured emotions.
Dominick stepped forward, then paused at the counter. He tapped his knuckles on the surface and met my eye. "It does," he said.
"It does what?"
"It means a lot to me, too," he said, his voice low and deep. "More than you'll probably believe, actually."
I shook my head, not able to hear it. "If that were true, the garden would still be there."
He grimaced but kept nodding. "I can understand why you would feel that way. But I can tell you this. I just spent the whole weekend chasing problems back and forth across the island of Manhattan, and I came into work this morning without a wink of sleep, and still, I came straight to you, the second I could." He paused, and I realized the muscles on the side of his neck were strained. His beard was tighter and closer than usual, probably trimmed for the trip, but his eyes had the same intense flash to them. "I know what I want," he said.
How many times had I imagined Dominick Russo saying something like that to me? More than I could count. Like dreams, they all blended together.
I ran my tongue slowly across my lips and tried to calm my accelerating heart. "I just don't know," I said. "Everything is upside down."
Dominick leaned forward on the counter, still holding his eyes steadily to meet my gaze. "Then let me turn you right side up again, Xavier."
I blinked, and my fingers curved into my thighs. "What do you mean?" I asked.
"Come with me," he said. "When Rhonda gets back. I understand that you need to rebuild your trust in me, and I would never ask you to open up until you're ready. But let me show you something. I think it will help."
"Okay," I said, almost like I was hypnotized by his voice.
Almost like he'd had my trust all along.
* * *
Dominick's driver sped down the expressway from Denver, taking us into the wooded hills that grew outside the city. Even growing up there, I had never gotten over the spectacular landscapes, and the fall leaves had always been my favorite.
They were just starting to turn, the colors exploding like fireworks across the forest. Burnt oranges, bright pinks, and warm yellows had taken over some trees, while others still held their green.
I turned back to Dominick. He was as close to disheveled as I had ever seen him, with a tired ache in his eyes and his shirt loose enough to rumple. I could only imagine how much the trip had taken out of him. A few days ago, I would have laid across his arms and smiled until he smiled back, but now I wasn't so certain how to behave.
"Taking me out of Denver isn't a great way to convince me you're going to be around," I said, teasing him just a little.
He smiled ruefully. "I guess the surprise destination is more exciting we're when on a proper date, isn't it?" He rubbed his hand across his face, then turned to me. "I'm taking you to my grandfather's."
"Your grandfather's?" I said, surprised to hear the answer.
"With everything you're losing lately, I thought it might be nice to visit the Zing Machine. And it doesn't hurt that my grandfather is a great guy. Maybe I'll be lucky and you'll see some similarity between us."
I imagined an older version of Dominick, then giggled despite myself when I realized he was probably just going to get more attractive over time. "I would like to see the machine," I said. "That's a nice idea."
"Good," he said, sounding satisfied. "We're just back in this next suburb."
Suburbwouldn't have been the word I chose. After pulling off the expressway, we drove immediately into the forests, following a curving road through the hills. The occasional driveways we passed often had open gates to mark them, and I imagined most led to generously spaced homes with rolling views. And sure enough, as we navigated our way deeper into the forests, every view seemed more jaw-dropping than the last.
"Right here, Bruce," he said, leaning forward to talk to the driver. "First on your right."
I suddenly startled in my seat. I was about to meet Dominick's family, and I hadn't prepared myself at all. "What did you tell him about me?" I asked quickly. "Am I your friend?"
He chuckled warmly, then reached out, patting my knee. "You can be my friend, sure, but I told him you're the guy I've been dating."
I laid my hand on top of his, feeling the curves of his fingers and the soft hairs on the backs of his knuckles. "Really? You told him we're dating?"
"Sure. I didn't move back to Denver to sit around and keep secrets from my family."
Warmth filled my chest as I wrapped my fingers around his hand. "Do you think he'll like me? What should I tell him about myself?"
"I wouldn't bring you here if he wouldn't," Dominick said. "Just be yourself. Trust me."
Dominick invited his driver in, but he opted to take a walk down the trail instead. The house was set behind some pine trees and up a winding driveway, and when Dominick pushed open my door, the smell of grass and wilderness hit my nose. I stepped out into the early evening sun, and immediately, a flock of birds shot across the sky.
I couldn't deny it felt good to be out of the city, and I was already clearing my head.
"Let's say hi to Grandpa first," Dominick said, taking me by the elbow. "Then I can show you where they stored the machine."
As we walked together up the driveway, I watched Dominick from the corner of my eye. He was so good at these kinds of gestures. They made it easy to open up to him, but still, I couldn't forget the feeling when the crew started on the garden Saturday morning. He had felt so far away then, and that distance had hurt me.
"It's confusing to want so many different things from you," I said.
He turned to me, his dark eyebrow turned up in a question. Before he could reply, however, a man with a strikingly handsome smile and broad chest stepped out from behind the house. He wore a gray sweater that drew out the silver in his hair, and when he called Dominick's name, there was no doubt about it.
"You must be Dominick's grandfather," I said, pulling myself back from the anxious worries that had taken hold. The man extended his hand, and when I took it, his grip was firm and steady.
"Please, call me Vince. And you must be Xavier," he said. "I'm glad the two of you could make it out here. The mountains are beautiful this time of year."
"All year," I said, stepping back by Dominick's side. "How long have you lived out here? It must be a dream."
Vince chuckled, and the rumble that came out of his chest was nearly identical to Dominick's baritone. "Just since Dominick bought us the place a few years ago."
Of course he did,I thought. And of course he didn't mention that to me. He wasn't the type to brag, as I was beginning to understand.
Vince gave us each a drink, then took us on a slow, meandering walk around the property. He offered easy, friendly conversation, telling me about his career in the Veteran's Association in Denver and reminiscing over his favorite parts of the city. As we strolled between the trees, he asked me curious questions about the candy store and prompted Dominick to tell me a few stories from his childhood, which I was pretty sure would never have happened otherwise.
It felt good to be with him, and I could see where Dominick got his charms. Just like when I was talking to his grandson, when I talked to Vince, the rest of the world seemed to drift away, and I got swept up in the comfort and allure of his easy confidence.
"Next time you come through Denver, you should stop by the store," I told him. "I promise, whatever you're looking for, we'll have it in stock."
He chuckled, and his face filled with creases, warn from years of the expression. I imagined Dominick would have the same wrinkles one day, just like he had the same flash in his eyes. "I'll probably be your easiest customer," he said. "Just a plain chocolate bar for me."
As we turned another corner, I realized we had done a loop around the property and arrived back to the house. From behind, it looked even larger than up front, and I was struck all over again by how much Dominick must have spent to purchase the retirement home for his grandfather.
"Anyway," Vince continued, "I know you've got another reason for driving all the way out here." He gestured to the garage door at the end of the driveway, set at the base of the house and built into the hill. "You wanted to take a peek at that old machine I'm storing for you, is that right?"
"That's right," Dominick said, resting his hand on his grandfather's shoulder.
"Thanks again," I said. "For storing it, I mean. That's a really kind thing for you to do."
"Say nothing of it," he said. "It's hardly like I was using the space. And if it means I get an extra visit with Dominick every now and then, all the better."
We parted ways, and Dominick brought me over to the garage door. We paused in front of it, and I saw that the sun was slipping behind the trees. The shadows were long, and they brought even more of a chill to the air.
"Are you doing okay?" he asked, catching my eye. "You look a bit distracted."
I shook my head and rubbed my hands across my arms. "No, I'm good. The walk really did clear my head."
"Except..." he said, prompting me.
I shoved my hands in my pockets, trying to place the feeling that had lingered since we arrived. A long moment passed, and I saw that Dominick was giving me the space to think.
"Just thinking of my father," I said.
He nodded slowly, then rested his hand on my arm. He gave me a firm squeeze, but we didn't need to say any more than that. Somehow, I knew he understood.
"Anyway," I said, breaking through the silence of the mountains. "Let's take a look at that machine, right?"
Dominick nodded and pulled the door of the garage up. I could see the muscles of his shoulders, taut through his dress shirt, as he heaved the door up. When he turned back to me, he had that satisfied smile on his face again, even though his eyes still looked worn and tired from the trip. "One Zing Machine, coming up," he joked.
I stepped with him into the garage. The Zing Machine was right in the middle, placed on the cement floor with generous space on all sides. There were boxes lining the walls and some old bicycles tucked against the back wall, but for the most part, the garage was clean and organized.
Without thinking, I grabbed Dominick's hand. "When you suggested coming out here, I thought it sounded nice," I said. "But I never imagined I would be so glad to see this old hunk of metal."
I walked to the machine, pulling Dominick along with me. It was the same as it had ever been, with the exact brown spots where the sugar burnt its mark over the years and the scratches along the conveyor belt from years of use. I reached out with my free hand and pushed the end, causing the press to lower slightly. The metal was cool against my hand but somehow comforting.
"I wish you could have seen the old neighborhood," I said. "When Mrs. Meyer was still tending her garden and Jack still ran the Zing Machine four days a week." I turned to face Dominick and blinked back the memories. "I know it's nothing like million-dollar realty and Manhattan skylines, but it was still pretty special."
"I wish I could have seen it, too," he said. "And trust me, those things aren't as different as you think. All people really want is to feel an honest sense of connection. People crave the feeling you get from a neighborhood spot like yours, somewhere with a unique character. That's why your shop is so successful in the first place, after all."
I let go of his hand and turned to face him. The light was shining through the open garage door, and outside, I heard the evening birdsong begin. "You know, you're not totally out of trouble yet. I'm still upset about the garden. Not that you couldn't take care of it, but that you forgot about me." He opened his mouth to apologize or try to explain, but I held my hand in the air to stop him. "You're not out of trouble yet," I clarified, "but you're a lot closer."
Dominick let out a puff of air, then shot me a smile. "Thank god. Because I'm pretty goddamn exhausted."
I stepped forward and pressed my hand against his chest. I could feel his heartbeat, steady as a clock. "Then you should rest," I said. "Won't your driver get back from his walk soon?"
"He will," Dominick said, placing his hand on my shoulder and rubbing it slightly.
"Then we should go back to Denver," I said. "Get you in bed."
He pursed his lips together, suppressing a smile. "Oh yeah?"
I stepped closer again and pressed my face against his chest. That feeling from before came over me, like I was pulled into his strength and held by the heat of his body. It was the feeling I had been craving all day, but finally, I was prepared to let myself feel it. "My guy has had a long day of work," I said. "I'll give you a back rub and make you a cup of tea."
"That sounds nice," he answered, and I felt the rumble of his chest against my cheek.
"Don't get me wrong," I purred. "I'm not up for any play."
I felt him nodding, and the rough texture of his beard rubbed against the top of my head. "I understand."
I looked up, catching his eye. "But you'll still want me to come over?" I asked.
"Yes," he said. "It sounds like a dream."
"Good," I answered as a smile warmed my face. I batted my eyelashes, finally comfortable enough to feel a little flirtatious. "Now kiss me, Dominick. I've been thinking about your kiss all weekend."
He leaned down and took my face in his hands. Without another word, he brushed his lips across my own once, then twice. I let out a soft whimper, and my body trembled into his embrace.
And just like that, the world started to make sense again.