"Class, as you know, we lost one of our students last night. I know it must have hurt you all so we're going to take a break from work for the week and pick up on Monday. If any of you need to talk, I'm always available. Remember, if you have any information on what happened, you need to speak up immediately." The math teacher projected. She sounded as if she felt no pain from losing her student and was merely talking about it to appease the class who also showed the least bit of care. "And be careful on your way home! Don't walk alone. Have your parents or a sibling wait for you outside of school. If they can't, go home with a friend until someone can get you."
The soft air from the central air blew into the classroom, causing goosebumps to rise on the students' skin. The sun shone through the large window, creating a warm glow, and the petals from the cherry blossom trees danced around the sky outside like a pop of confetti on someone's birthday.
The beautiful spring weather contrasted with the solemn aura that ghosted through the school halls. Soft murmurs were heard when walking past each classroom. Since there was no school work, the students were allowed to talk — the most popular topic being the death of their classmate, Qi Qiao.
No one knew much about her death seeing as it'd only been a day since her body was found — just a few blocks away from the school. She'd been beaten to death and was nearly unrecognizable, her face bashed in so far and her teeth so severely damaged her dental records were of no use. The only thing that identified her was the bracelet she always wore around her wrist and the tiny Turkmenistan shaped birthmark on her waist.
Her mother's scream could be heard miles away when she had to identify her daughter. The scene would go on to haunt her for years, the white sheet draped across her precious Qi Qiao's body fluttering from the bed and wrapping around her throat to silence her wails of heartbreak—and her husband's thin arms doing nothing to catch her falling body, only taking his trembling form down with her.
"Zhen Jie, did you hear about Little Qi?" Mo Chen asked. "I heard she was raped before she was murdered."
"No, I didn't hear," Zhen Jie said softly. "This is my first time hearing of it. No."
Zhen Jie's head hung low, somberly. She was disgusted and disturbed with how Mo Chen could talk about rape and murder so loosely. Especially about Qi Qiao — someone they both talked to daily. However, she couldn't expect anything less from her friend. The entire school was insensitive about the topic, not sparing the deceased girl an ounce of remorse and spitting the gruesome details of her murder to one another.
Zhen Jie wasn't very close with Qi Qiao, but they did talk from time to time. She didn't consider Qi Qiao a friend, but Qi Qiao considered her one. She was ashamed that she didn't appreciate the girl's effort to be friends while she was still there, but there was no one to blame but herself.
"Have you been going to your speech classes? You seem to have gotten worse." Mo Chen asked teasingly. She rested her chin on her hand, her muted pink nails tapping against it gently as she hummed for a response.
Zhen Jie had been in speech classes since she was a kid. She spoke softly and oftentimes repeated herself — other times having a bad stutter. She didn't learn how to talk until halfway through middle school so her speech was still at a low level and it was one of her biggest insecurities. She'd say a sentence, reword it in her head, and say it again so it could make more sense. She was kind of like a toddler in a way when she spoke. Recently, after her father lost his job, she decided to give up her speech classes to save money.
They didn't seem to work much anyway.
"No, I don't go," She said. "I haven't been going, no."
"It's okay... sorry for teasing," Mo Chen apologized after taking in the girl's expression. "Have you ever had a boyfriend? Do you know what that is?"
"Know what it is... yes. But never had one."
"Well, remember when I told you my boyfriend cheated on me?" Zhen Jie nodded and picked at the worn out tassel that hung from her backpack, the pink strings of leather reminding her to try to call her father again. She'd be lucky if he picked up, his lack of money making it hard for him to pay his bill.
"Here's a tip..." Mo Chen continued. "Never get back with a cheater!"
"Did you?"
"I did at first because I thought he'd change... but he was still with other girls besides me." She scoffed. "It hurt so bad and the other girls just laughed at me."
"So if a guy cheats on you, don't take him back because he doesn't love you."
"But he hurt you... should you not to hurt him back?"
"Should you not hurt him too?"
"Get back with him to cheat on him?"
"Tch, that'd work on some guys, but not this one," Mo Chen shook her head. "It takes a whole lot to hurt him — and I've never seen him hurt before."
"Just... don't you ever try to get equal with a guy. I don't care about my life so I have nothing to lose, but there's a lot of crazy people out there and you might run across one."
"Some guys will hurt you if you do something bad to them — even if they did it first."
"Do you think... that is what happened to... Little Qi?"
"Now that you mention it, it could be." She stared off, eyes trailing the chalkboard as she thought. "I heard she had a boyfriend who was an abusive criminal..."
It did make sense.
Throughout the day, Zhen Jie heard multiple different theories of what happened to Qi Qiao. Some people were convinced she was a victim of the serial rapist that'd been roaming the streets for the past few months, preying on young girls and killing them if they put up a fight. A few surviving victims identified the man that attacked them — but unfortunately, Qi Qiao wasn't around to put in her statement.
Zhen Jie, however, thought the killer was someone from their school. Qi Qiao was a nice girl. She was quiet and rarely talked, but when she did, she'd always have a cheerful smile on her face.
Over time, her smile began to fade into one smaller and smaller. She was being bullied by a few students in the classroom but no one said or did anything. Everyone saw it: the teachers, students, and even parents.
Qi Qiao's bullies targeted her for one simple reason. She was pretty. They felt intimidated so they'd pick on her, sometimes even do things to make her look "less attractive". For one entire school year, they forced Qi Qiao to eat more to gain weight, and when that didn't work, they waited for her after school before summer break started and jumped her, leaving permanent damage to her face.
Although she was still breathtaking even after the fight, it left physical and mental scars on the girl. She seemed off when she returned to school the next semester and she kept her mouth shut about the incident. Even when her parents rushed her to the hospital the day of the fight, she didn't tell them what happened. She lied like she'd been mugged, but a student was there when it happened and upon noticing her change in behavior the next semester, they told.
When the school found out, they did nothing but expel the girls for the rest of the school year. When Qi Qiao's parents tried to take it to court, one of the bully's parents paid them not to.
They chose money over their daughter — and the bullying never stopped as the parents promised. Zhen Jie was almost positive one of the bullies killed her to keep her from talking.
After school, Zhen Jie gathered her books and slipped them into her dingy backpack. She took her time to leave and after the last person left, she did as well and walked slowly to the school gates. The teacher had informed them not to go home alone, but Zhen Jie didn't have any friends and her father was never at home. He was always out of town trying to make money to keep the bills paid, so she was out of luck.
As soon as Zhen Jie stepped out of the gates, she heard footsteps follow her. Her feet began to move quickly, nearly breaking into a sprint. She turned around, seeing the girls she'd seen just a few days earlier holding Qi Qiao down while their friend tore her uniform off and recorded her.
Zhen Jie ran into a nearby convenience store, the clerk eyeing her suspiciously as she held onto her chest and breathed heavily. A police officer stood near the drinks browsing through them before lifting his head at the sound of the door flinging open. She turned towards the window to not only avoid his gaze, but also see where the girls had gone.
They were across the street giving her a look, daring her to say something to him. The wind whisked through one of the girls hair as she signaled to Zhen Jie to keep her mouth shut, her silver strands twisting into pens of threat that inked into Zhen Jie's blood, sending a shiver down her spine.
Zhen Jie's breath caught in her throat as she turned around at the same time as the officer, her dull eyes connecting with his lively ones. They were bright and crinkled from his smile, something Zhen Jie envied.
Genuine happiness, or at the very least, a damn good facade.
With two juices in his hand, he greeted Zhen Jie with a smile. He was tall and well built, had smooth, clean skin, and his hair was cut short. He had a fresh look about him that made Zhen Jie believe she was being punked by a classmate for a minute — but she shook the thought away because it was foolish, "Oh, hi, you go to that school up there, don't you?" He asked while looking at the emblem on her shirt. After seeing her nod, he held his hand out. "I knew I recognized you. My name's Officer Gong. I was actually on my way to your house for questioning."
"Questioning?"
"Well, it's come to our attention that you — you're Zhenjie Xu, right?" He asked, making sure he hadn't mistaken her for someone else.
"I'm Zhenjie Xu, yes," She nodded. "That's me, Zhenjie Xu... but only call me Zhen Jie."
"I go by Zhen Jie."
"Alright, Zhen Jie. We've been informed that you were the last person to see Qi Qiao."
"I don't know if I was. I did see her that day... I don't know if I was the last to see her, but I did see her that day."
The officer nodded and went to the clerk to purchase the juices. He handed one to Zhen Jie and guided her outside of the store as she darted her eyes around. The girls were no longer in sight, but Zhen Jie could feel their stares and threats piercing into her back. They were definitely going to ask her about this the next day if they got the chance, and Zhen Jie could only pray that the chance never came.
Officer Gong walked Zhen Jie home and upon entering, Zhen Jie started to straighten things up. While there wasn't much to clean, the place was shabby with a lot of knick knacks, and Zhen Jie didn't like the cluttered look. She and Officer Gong sat at the small table after he told her there was no need to clean, while he pulled out a notepad and pen, "So, when did you hear about Qi Qiao's death?"
"Only today. This morning at school."
"You didn't hear before? Last night on the news — or on social media?"
Zhen Jie stood up and turned on the television. Nothing but static played before she turned it off and went back to sit, "It is broken. Phone, do not have. I do not have a phone. Too price high... Too much money."
Officer Gong nodded, "Were you and Qi Qiao close?"
"No, we weren't close. Maybe friends," She said while watching him write down everything she said. "I don't think we were close, but maybe she would say we were friends."
"Why would she say you're friends but you wouldn't?"
"I do not have friends except for Mo Chen but I think everyone was her friend... Qi Qiao. She was nice. Everyone was her friend but no one is mine because she was nice."
"So you're not nice?"
"I am not nice maybe," Zhen Jie shrugged, her fingers picking at the orange placemat on the table. It was old and tattered, pieces of plastic peeling off with every touch. In simple words, a good occupier for a fidgeter like Zhen Jie. "Maybe because I do not talk. But I am not mean. I just do not talk."
"Why don't you talk?" Gong asked, his eyes following an orange particle that lifted into the air briefly and dropped back to the wooden table.
Zhen Jie was silent for a while, casually sipping her drink from a straw. One hand continued fiddling with the plastic mat and the other kept her drink bound in place. She blatantly ignored Officer Gong's question, waiting for him to move on. She didn't feel comfortable answering it.
"Is it because — of the way you talk?" The youth nodded slowly, a bit sad that she was so easily read. "Do you know why you speak like that?"
Officer Gong was already informed of her speech impediment beforehand. He had a younger sister who also had a speech defect — which is why he was sent to question Zhen Jie. His boss hoped he'd be able to understand her better than his colleagues because the last thing they wanted to do was misinterpret the girl's words.
"Maybe because I did not learn to talk until I was twelve. Maybe because I could not read until I was fifteen. Now I have to talk again after I already talked to make sense of it," She replied, shaking her head and casting her eyes down. "I'm sorry, I do not know how to explain."
"That's fine. I understand," Officer Gong smiled. "Why is Mo Chen your only friend?"
"Mo Chen... my friend," Zhen Jie smiled softly. "Always stopped bullies for me when I was younger."
"She protected you from your bullies?" Zhen Jie nodded in response. "Did she ever... seem jealous when you'd talk to Qi Qiao?"
"Mo Chen liked Qi Qiao. They were friends."
"Alright, that's enough about Mo Chen, then. Now, on the day you saw Qi Qiao, two days ago, Qi Qiao was seen coming here around noon before leaving a little after two." He clicked his pen twice. "What did she say to you?"
Zhen Jie sat there momentarily while she thought about it. Qi Qiao visited to tell her she'd been threatened by the girls from school again — but Zhen Jie was afraid of what they'd do to her if she told on them.
They were expelled so they didn't have to worry about the consequences of that, and the police department was far too scuffed for Zhen Jie to trust that they'd support her if she told. There were many cases in which young girls were overlooked for their crimes. Their beauty and youthful radiance was enough to blind the authorities, especially when the nature of their crime was harsh.
It was almost like no one believed women had enough strength to move a pebble. How could they possibly be capable of beating someone, let alone murdering them? Women were of mere assistance, and not even the conviction of assisting someone in a crime gave women in Zhen Jie's hometown enough years of punishment.
However, someone like Zhen Jie was easy to frame. It was in her appearance, though youthful, unwittingly self incriminating.
Zhen Jie stood to her feet and grabbed something from the bookshelf, "She give this," She held up a thick textbook, visibly new. It was shiny and teal, mathematics symbols and numbers on the front. She sat back down and spoke again. "She came to give me this book."
"She didn't say anything?"
Zhen Jie shook her head, "She didn't say... She didn't say anything but she gave me the book. I do not know why she give me this. It is not mine. Never saw it before but she kept pushing the book."
"She was here for nearly two hours. She just stood there with the book for two hours? You didn't talk?" Officer Gong noted before sliding the book to himself and cracking it open, hoping to find something inside that could point him into any direction. A clue, a small memoir from the deceased, anything.
"I do not like to talk. We did not talk," Zhen Jie shook her head. "We ate. Her plate I still did not wash."
Officer Gong looked into the sink and saw two plates before nodding and turning back to Zhen Jie, "You don't like to talk, right? But you're talking to me."
"You did not laugh," She said. "Adults do not laugh when I talk."
"Did Qi Qiao laugh at you?"
"Little Qi did not laugh. She told me I am okay. I will be okay."
"You said you two aren't close... you call her Little Qi."
"Because she said we are friends. She wanted me to call her Little Qi or Little Qiao."
"Why did you listen? Why do you still call her that when she isn't around?"
"Because she was nice. She was only one. The only person nice to me. She is not around but she can still hear."
"How can she hear?"
"She is dead... heaven. Dead people can hear everything."
"Okay... now, did Qi Qiao seem timid from the time you knew her? Has she ever told you she felt uneasy or — have you ever noticed anything off about her?"
"No sir, she was just smiling always but then sad."
"She was always smiling but lately she has been sad."
"I wish I asked what was it bad." She shook her head at herself. "I wish I asked what was wrong."
"Was she being bullied?" Officer Gong asked. "I hear there are a few girls who've been expelled. Do you know if they still bothered her outside of school?"
Zhen Jie wanted to admit the truth so bad, but she didn't, "Maybe they did but I did not see. I thought that could have been a possibility but she didn't say anything and I did not want to push. I did not want to be nosy."
"That's all for now," Officer Gong stood up. "If you have any information, call me." He handed her his card.
"Or if you feel scared you can call me and I'll be there. You shouldn't walk all of the way here alone. I'll have someone escort you home if you'd like. You being the last person to see Qi Qiao alive might lead to some dangerous things."
Zhen Jie already knew that though. She could tell by the way she was being chased after school. They knew she knew more than she let on and they weren't going to let her get away, "Maybe have someone come with me to school and home. But I only think to want you," She thought for a moment, trying to find her words. "I only trust you to take me."
"Alright... I'll be back."
Officer Gong left and Zhen Jie went to her room. It wasn't much, but it was something she could call hers. It was probably the most homely part in the home, her living room and kitchen cluttered with her fathers counterfeit goods. At least her room held things of value, like the little trinkets she'd collect along the road, or the pictures she'd drawn and pasted to the walls.
Zhen Jie sighed and grabbed her books, taking them to the living room and continuing the book she had started that morning. She was sure her reading was getting better, she just wished she had someone around to assure her of it. Maybe a little praise was what she needed to feel like she was doing something right.
"B-brown bear, brown bear, w-w-wh-what do you see?" She read aloud. "I see a red bird locking... l-lock... looking! looking!" Zhen Jie cheered. "I see a red bird looking at me!"
She was seeing progress for the first time in a while, and she was certain the surge of confidence came from Officer Gong's safe air. Zhen Jie's lack of confidence is what pushed her back even further when it came to learning, but to have someone around that she knew wouldn't let anything harm her brought a small ounce of that assurance to her. While Officer Gong was nothing more than a stranger, something about his atmosphere felt secure, and Zhen Jie knew she could trust him. With her father being gone, she didn't have anyone else to feel safe under. Officer Gong was the first, and she liked that.
After slowly reading Brown Bear Brown Bear, what do you see?, Zhen Jie let out a deep breath. She hoped that one day she'd be able to speak clearly and read better, and maybe even indulge in more complex books. She was still reading picture books from her childhood, partly because she couldn't afford bigger ones, and also because she couldn't bring herself to read something she knew she'd never be able to understand.
Zhen Jie was plagued by self-doubt, and she frequently isolated herself to a small crevice in her mind. It was completely bereft of any positive thought and brimmed with self-pity. Much like the worn down home she lived in, there was little in her mind that made her feel welcome in her own thoughts.
A knock on the door caught her attention as she slipped the book back on the uneven bookshelf. It wobbled as she secured the book into place, the broken right leg chittering against the floor. She looked through the peephole and saw Officer Gong standing tall, still in his uniform. She opened the door and he handed her a small box with a smile, "To call me. I installed a few apps to help with your speech. I called your teacher and she said you couldn't afford speech classes anymore... so I hope it helps."
"T-thank you."
"You're welcome." Officer Gong smiled before leaving again.
Zhen Jie closed the door and put the phone on the table. She bathed, did her homework, then finally returned to the living room eagerly. She ran to the couch, situated herself comfortably, and turned on the phone. It took her a while to get used to it, but once she did, she spent hours on the learning apps — so long, the sun was already up again.
Zhen Jie went to the kitchen to see if there was anything she could eat for breakfast, and unfortunately for her, there wasn't. A moldy piece of bread and a jar of old jam were all she could find. The bread was so far gone, there was barely any left when she cut the mold off.
She decided to eat the jam from the jar to get at least something in her belly. That wasn't the best idea. The jam didn't settle well with the countless cavities she had, so her mouth was in pain by the time she decided to put it away.
Zhen Jie was exhausted from having stayed up all night, but she couldn't blame anyone but herself. Her brand new electronic device was too addicting. There were so many things to learn on it, and she couldn't wait to use it again.
She slowly got dressed in her uniform and opened the front door with heavy eyelids. Her eyes felt like they'd been weighed down with bricks, but luckily she was an expert at keeping them open. The most strength she had was in her eyes, keeping them lifted and holding the metaphorical bricks long enough to get through the day.
On her way out to go get the mail she'd forgotten the day before, an awful stench flooded her senses. She looked down and gagged, covering her mouth as tears filled her eyes. She ran back inside and slammed the door shut, trying to keep the expired jam she consumed from coming back up. The sight of the battered rabbit in front of her door would stay with her forever.
It had already started decomposing — so it had been dead for days and brought to Zhen Jie's — and the smell was horrid. It followed Zhen Jie into her home and no matter how many times she sniffed the bottle of vinegar under the kitchen cabinet, it wouldn't go away.
It was not the dead animal that shook Zhen Jie, though. The words painted in its blood did.
Keep your mouth shut.
Zhen Jie waited for Officer Gong to arrive before opening her door again. She wanted him to see it and go looking for the person who did it — but when he got there, it was gone. There wasn't a single drop of blood or stray piece of hair anywhere. The only thing telling of disturbance was the faint odor lingering around the area that was not there the night before, but with Zhen Jie's living conditions, he assumed there was a dead rat somewhere outside.
"Are you ready to go?" He rocked on his feet, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. He was not yet in uniform, making him appear even more spry than he did the day before. The round framed glasses, beanie, and hoodie did not help him appear more mature either, and seeing him in such a relaxed manner only worried Zhen Jie more. If he was not in uniform, he might as well have held no power. No one would approach her with an officer, and he did not look like an officer with his spunky get-up. "Is everything alright? You seemed to have lost your color."
"Yes sir, I am fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes sir. Just stomach... hurt from expired jam."
"That's not good. You need to throw it up before you get sick." Gong said seriously, motioning for Zhen Jie to follow him. "I'll take you to the corner store and get you some medicine and real breakfast, okay?"
"Thank you." She smiled softly, relief flooding through her as he led her to his squad car.