Greetings people, we hit 100 readers! That's 100 brains that decided to click on a button! It's awesome, thank you :]
Alright new chapter, enjoy!
TW:
TRAUMA
SUICIDE
PANIC ATTACK
SH
BLOOD
please let me know if I need to add more!
Philza POV
I was about to turn around and leave the room when Ranboo suddenly stood up and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. I stopped and waited. He was quickly scribbling something down and then he showed it to me. I read what was on the paper. "did we met before?" It said. I was shocked. It's really him, cause otherwise he wouldn't recognize me. "Yes, we've met before." I said. Ranboo stared at me for a second before grabbing the pen again. "When" I read. Wait if he doesn't remember, how does he remember me? "It was a long time ago. You were one of children in the orphanage where I worked. You were 3 years old at the time." I told him. There was a look of confusion on his face.
Ranboo POV
"It was a long time ago. You were one of children in the orphanage where I worked. You were 3 years old at the time." He said. Wait what? That isn't possible. I had a family. I- I wasn't- I wasn't adopted. Right? "Don't you remember? I'm philza." He said. I shook my head and wrote: "I can't remember, but you looked familiar." He read it. "Oh, do you remember how you ended up here?" He said. "No" I wrote, it was a lie. I knew very well how I ended up here. I just didn't want to talk about it. "Oh alright" he said.
Phil POV
Then the door suddenly flew open to reveal mrs. Adams standing there. She looked angry. "What are you guys doing here, why isn't he outside!" She yelled. I saw Ranboo flinch out of the corner of my eye, he probably didn't like yelling. That reminds me of Tubbo, he doesn't like loud sounds. "He fell and got hurt. We went to the nurse." I told her. She glared at Ranboo and then looked back at me. "Hmh, look out next time." She said harshly and walked away.
"Alright Ranboo I have to go. Rest and let your arm heal. I'll see you soon, okay?" I said. He nodded. I smiled and walked out of the room.
I made my way back to the garden. I wonder what happened to him. He had a panic attack when I found him and he flinched. He also doesn't want to talk. He isn't completely mute cause he screamed. Maybe I can bring Tubbo with me next time, he is good with people. I'll have to ask him if he wants to but he'll probably say yes.
Ranboo POV
Thoughts were racing through my head. Was I adopted? Why didn't my parents tell me? Or did I forget..... I don't know anymore. One thing I did know was that I liked Philza, he's nice to me.
It's getting dark. I should try to sleep. I thought. I tried to lie down but my arm hurt. I eventually got under the blanket and closed my eyes.
I suddenly woke up. I look around but didn't know where I was. The walls of the room I was in were light blue and there were little trains and bears on it. Then a person walked in, their face was blurry. "Aww, did my little boy wake up?" A female voice said.
Then my vision glitched and I was in the car of my parents, the night it happened. I was in the backseat, my mom was driving and my dad was besides her. She was crying and screaming, dad trying to calm her down. "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I CAN'T." She screamed. "PLEASE CALM DOWN." My dad said panicked. "NO I WILL NOT, IT'S ALL TO MUCH. I CAN'T TAKE IT, IM DONE." "MOM PLEASE STOP IT, YOUR GOING TO FAST, PLEASE. STOP THE CAR!" I yelled back tears streaming down my face as well. But she didn't listen as she sped down the highway. "MUM!" I yelled as she almost hit another car. I was scared, I didn't want to die. "You know, sometimes I think of doing terrible things, I know I shouldn't think it but I do anyway. Maybe I'm just crazy like I got a disease." She said and laughed like a psychopath. "Hey listen to me, it's going to be okay, please just slow down!" My dad said. "NO IT'S NOT GOING TO BE OKAY. EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IS FUCKED UP!" She screamed while looking my dad directly into his eyes. "MOM PLEASE STOP. YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US!" I sobbed. Her head snapped back and she stared at me. The words she said next send shivers down my spine. "That's the whole point. I'm already dead inside." She said calmly. Then she yanked on the steering wheel and the next thing I heard was a loud crash.
(I would recommend listening to church by boylife while reading this :] start around 1:40)
My eyes opened slowly. I was in pain. Everything was blurry. I looked to my left to see the car, it was completely crushed. I looked to my left and the thing I saw next still haunts me. There they were, my parents. They were covered in blood. I looked at my moms face. Her eyes were dull and lifeless, but yet she stared right into my soul. I knew they were both dead. I couldn't do much other then just laying there. A tear slowly ran down my face as the sirens got louder. People were screaming. The flashing lights of the ambulances lighted up my surroundings. A person came running over to me. I slowly closed my eyes as the sounds of the sirens faded. I could hear the song on the radio still playing as I drifted away. I hope you remember goodbye, I'm gone.
I jolted awake, heart beating fast. I was gasping for air. Why did it feel so real? It felt like I was there again. Everything was to much. It was overwhelming. I started sobbing and shaking. Blood. The voice... oh no, it's back. I looked up at the window to see my own reflection. I stared at my eyes, there was a flash of purple. Oh god. I needed to get away. I stood up and ran. I don't know where I was going but I kept running trough the empty halls. Then I just collapsed, my legs couldn't hold me anymore. I just sat there sobbing, breathing heavily. bloodbloodBLOODBLOODBLOOD. Nonononononono, stop it. Stop it, please. It only got louder and louder. I was panicking. ⏚⌰⍜⍜⎅ ⏚⌰⍜⍜⎅ ⏚⌰⍜⍜⎅. I started scratching my arms. The voices continued. I looked down to see blood seeping down my arms and onto the floor.
Philza POV
I turned and turned and turned. It was 3 am and I couldn't sleep. AAAAA why?! I was spending the night at the orphanage and my mattress wasn't that Maybe I just need to get out and stretch my legs or something. I got up, opened my door and started walking.
It's quite peaceful here at night. The halls were completely empty and they were being lighted by a few dimly lit lights here and there. I noticed it was raining a bit. I hope it doesn't start storming. I thought. Tubbo is scared of thunder and I'm not home. I'm the only person that knows, he didn't want to tell anyone else. Poor Tub I thought.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard something that sounded like... crying. Huh? I quickened my pace. It became louder and louder as I got closer. I turned the corner and stopped dead in my tracks. Ranboo? Why-? I started running towards him. I think he didn't hear me cause he didn't look up. I got down next to him and then I saw something I wish I didn't see. He- he was scratching his arms an-and they were bleeding. "Ranboo what happened!?" I said as I grabbed him. He flinched hard and tried to get away from me. What?? I noticed he was breathing really fast. Was he having a panic attack? "Ranboo its me Phil, are you okay?" When I said my name his head shot up and he looked at me. He was in a panic. "Ph-phil?" He said shakily. "Yes yes it's me!" I said. "Phil, Phil help me." He said desperately. I looked into his eyes and saw them flash purple. What was going on? I pulled him in for a hug and hold him close. "It's okay, you're gonna be okay." I told him. He was tense at first but then melted into the hug. He was sobbing into my shoulder. "Shhhhhhh" I said as I started rocking us back and forth.
There we sat on the floor in the middle of the night for what felt like hours. He finally calmed down. I was still holding him. He wasn't crying anymore but a sniff could be heard every now and then. "What happened?" I said in a soft tone. He stayed quiet for a bit until a soft and raspy voice could be heard. "Nightmare." Was all he said. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked him. "No" he said. I nodded my head. "Come let's get your arms fixed." I said and lifted him up. He let go of me but kept kept really close. I looked at him, his eyes were red and puffy and he was looking down awkwardly.
We walked to the bathroom and I washed his arms. He was wincing every now and then and kept quiet the entire time. After I carefully bandaged his arms we walked to his bed but all of a sudden he collapsed. I caught him and he started crying again. "Don't leave please." He said quietly. "I won't" I said as I hugged him. We stayed like that until I noticed Ranboo fell asleep. I smiled to myself and carried him to his bed. I tucked him in and decided to just stay there. I eventually fell asleep there.
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Wooooooo! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I think the end could've been better but I really wanted to finish it cause school starts tomorrow, oh god, wish me luck. Hope I don't die in there. I'm actually really curious about my new classmates, I hope they are nice :]
Alright so for the music I chose these: terrible things-brick + mortar, life by the sea-Tubbo, angel of small death & the codeine scene-hozier(mumza vibes), paint it black-The Rolling Stones, highway to hell-ac/dc, hand me my shovel, I'm going in!-will wood, puppy princess-hot freaks, brave as an noun-AJJ, bang bang-K'NAAN. Okay I'll stop now haha.
That's it! Take care and I'll see you soon!
BYEEEEEEEEEEEE :D
-Jay