At the mention of the Empress, Yin He expression immediately darkened. He harrumphed in displeasure as he placed the half-bitten pastry down. His gaze was chilly as he asked Bai Shu, "Why did you not report it to me?"
Bai Shu immediately kneeled as she could sense his anger, and quickly apologized. Lady Fang quickly jumped up to Bai Shu's defense, "Don't blame her! I am the one who instructed her not to tell you."
Yin He did not look at Lady Fang, as he continued to glare at Bai Shu wordlessly. Without his order, Bai Shu was not allowed to stand up. Lady Fang let out a soft sigh as she had expected him to be displeased when he found out, hence she tried to keep him in the dark. She knew he was purposely punishing Bai Shu to give her a warning. Even though she usually kept to herself in the courtyard, but news from the outside would occasionally travel to her ears. It was no secret that the relationship between the Empress and Yin He were very tense, especially due to the court matter.
"The Empress meant well," Lady Fang coaxed gently but it did not lift Yin He's mood.
Seeing that he was extremely unhappy about this matter, Lady Fang tried to explain again, "No matter what, it is still some precious herbs that I cannot simply throw away. What do you want me to do then?"
Yin He still did not say anything, but he finally turned to look at Lady Fang gloomily. After tapping the fan on his palm lightly a few times, he finally spoke, "Very well then. I shall make sure her good intention did not go to waste."
Yin He turned back to Bai Shu and gave her a meaningful look. He gestured for her to come closer and whispered a few words to her. After he finished, Bai Shu nodded and retreated from the hall. Apparently, after giving out the instructions, Yin He's mood seemed to have improve tremendously as a small smile could be seen at the corner of his lips. Lady Fang somehow could guess that her son was up to no good again...
Yin He accompanied Lady Fang for about two hours before finally taking his leave. As he walked out of the hall, he saw Bai Shu who was just coming back from her errand.
"My Lord, everything has been arranged accordingly." Bai Shu reported diligently.
Nodding in satisfaction, he gestured for Bai Shu to take a walk with him. Tactful as always, Bai Shu quicken her pace as she followed closely behind Yin He until they reached a beautiful pavilion in the bamboo garden. Since the courtyard did not have a lot of servants, the pavilion was extremely quiet. Yin He turned to Bai Shu and asked, "Is there any relapse recently?"
There was a very solemn expression on his face. Bai Shu could tell that he was deeply worried but did not want to show it in front of Lady Fang just now. She shook her head and answered, "There has not been any relapse since the last time. It is just that she gets tired easily, so she will take longer naps these days. Other than that, there is nothing abnormal."
There was a slight relief on his face as he hummed in reply. After a while, he asked again.
"The Empress has been coming over frequently?"
At this question, Bai Shu hesitated for a moment, before replying, "Yes... The Empress will come over every two to three days to visit madam. She will usually spend about 2 hours to chat with her. Sometimes, she will even bring the crown prince along."
Bai Shu lifted her gaze and saw Yin He seemingly in deep thought. Since he did not say anything, she took a deep breath, and gathered her courage to speak again.
"Actually... other than my lord, the Empress and Physician Zheng are the only person who would come to visit madam. I know it is not my place to say anything, but I can see that madam is really very happy when they come over. The Empress and Physician Zheng truly have been treating madam very well all these years..."
Her voice slowly drifted off when she noticed Yin He's dark expression. She quickly lowered her head in fear since it was not her place as a servant to speak of such things. Her hand grabbed on her sleeves tightly as she waited nervously for Yin He to speak. There was a long moment of silence before she could finally hear him letting out a long heavy sigh. His voice was surprisingly calm, but it carried a hint of disappointment as he spoke.
"Bai Shu, you have followed me for so long, so how could you not understand? Have you forgotten why my mother was here in the first place?"
Bai Shu bit her lips at his question. How could she forget? She was assigned by Yin He to serve Lady Fang when Lady Fang was taken into the palace. It might have been many years ago, but the memory was still fresh in her mind.
Yin He turned away and looked at the tall walls of the courtyard. The bottomless dark pupils seemed to carry a deep sense of regret and torment as he continued, "You have been serving her for so long, so you should have understood this better than anyone. Mother did not like to be in the palace."
Bai Shu continued to keep quiet as she listened. She thought of the days when Lady Fang would sit on the divan and looked out of the window wistfully. Bai Shu could tell that Lady Fang was yearning for her old home very much even though she did not say it out aloud. Even in front of Yin He, Lady Fang would always pretend to be fine, because she did not want him to be worried. However, Yin He could grasp his mother's thought very well. He knew it was very difficult for her, and it pained him that he was not able to do anything despite holding so much power in court. All he could do was to get the permission of the Emperor to renovate the courtyard to replicate their old house. Everything had to be decorated in a simple manner, and servants were cut down. It might have looked very similar, but it could not change the fact that this was still a courtyard in the Imperial Palace.
The sad truth was Lady Fang could never step a foot outside of this courtyard, and Bai Shu knew exactly the reason to this. Many people thought the power struggle in the royal court was the reason to the tense relationship between Yin He and the Empress, but the truth was so much more than that. Why would Lady Fang not stay with Yin He in his manor, but instead stayed separately in the inner harem of the palace? Yin He would have never let this happened if he had the power to choose.
"The Emperor is the one refusing to let my mother out, but the person who caused my mother to be locked up here in the first place is none other than Zheng Huo Yan. Don't you ever forget about that." Yin He stated in a matter-of-fact tone. The resentment in his eyes was palpable.
"Forgive me, my lord. Bai Shu is wrong..." Bai Shu uttered weakly as she deeply regretted her action just now. Over the years, her heart had softened when she saw how sincere the Empress and physician Zheng had been treating Lady Fang, to the point that she had forgotten the reason they were here in the first place.
Yin He shook his head. The matter of the court was very complicated. From the outside, he seemed to hold great power, but the truth was not what it seemed to be. He lowered his head and looked at the Li Xu fan in his hand. It was the fan that was gifted to him when he received his official prince ranking. At that time, it had caused a huge hurrah in the royal court, and many people were extremely envious of this young prince. To them, it was a symbol of great honour, but to him, it was a heavy responsibility bestowed upon him by the late Emperor. Because of this honour, he could not do what he wanted to do.
He had lost his freedom – the freedom to choose his own path, to pursue his own happiness, to protect the people he cared. His fate would forever be tied to the current Emperor.
Sometimes the things you were given were not what you truly wanted. How many people would truly understand this?
Yin He sneered before saying derisively, "No, it is not your fault."
Bai Shu trembled in fear. Before she could kneel and asked for forgiveness, Yin He flung his sleeve and strode out of the pavilion decisively without even looking back. When he reached the big cypress tree planted in the middle of the courtyard, he stopped and look at the sky through his lowered eyelashes.
Regret, agony, and pain gathered in his dark eyes like clouds on a moonless night.
"It is my wrong." He whispered, even though no one could hear him. "It has been my wrong from the start... for trusting the wrong person."