2 months later
Proms this weekend. I'm in pain.
Atlas and me haven't really spoken since we broke up, not really. Other than the occasional comforting at night or a few words during dinner or in passing it's basically been radio silence from her and it hurts. It hurts. It hurts so bad.
She seems happier, in general really. She's still upset about the breakup, this much I know from Paige, which in some sort of sick twisted way almost gives me some comfort, let's me know she still cares, but I'm glad she's happy, it's all I want for her.
In terms of prom, she has a date, some random kid for our calculus class and although it physically tears me apart to see her going with somebody else, i don't think there's any actual feelings, I don't even think they'd ever spoken until he asked her to prom, and according to Leah and James she only said yes so she'd have somebody to go with.
I don't sit with her at school anymore, I sit with Kai and Hannah, who left our table a long time ago.
I miss her, I haven't stopped.
Sometimes it feels like I'm suffocating without her, like the world stops spinning.
I decided I'm just not going to go to prom because I couldn't handle going and seeing her with somebody else, feelings or not. I also don't have a date and I don't plan on trying to get one in three days, I just don't have any interest in going anymore.
Ive always wanted to go to prom really, since I was in middle school. I always imagined going with some pretty girl and getting voted prom king and queen but I can't, I can't handle it.
"Everette, let's go." Leah's voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I nod, grabbing my bag and going out to my car and Leah gets into the passenger side, slamming her door.
Me and Leah have gotten slightly closer since everything that happened with Atlas because Leah doesn't understand it just as much as I don't, she loves her, the same way I love her but she thinks what she did was dumb, not 'Atlas logic' whatever the hell that means.
———
"Kai, what the hell are you talking about?" I laugh
He's talking about some stupid shit I don't know, Hannah's running around the cafeteria telling everyone to vote for Her and Kai.
"Everette!" A high pitch voice screeches in my ear and I flinch before turning and looking to my left
A girl is standing in front of me, I recognize her- Harley, I think. She's in my Literature class.
"Yes?" I ask
"So I was just wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me, seeing as you haven't asked anybody yet?" Oh hell.
I turn to see that James, Leah, and Atlas are staring towards our table and I open my mouth to say no but my mind drifts off to Atlas going to prom with Derek. Why the hell is his name Derek.
What a doucebag name.
"Sure, Harley." I smile and she nods and sits next to me.
"I already have a dress, it's blue." She says and I nod, knowing I have to match with her.
She sits with us the rest of lunch, Kai sending her glares and Hannah completely ignoring her, And I can physically feel Atlas starting daggers into her head, into mine.
I didn't want it to go this way. I'm not supposed to be going to prom with Harley and Atlas isn't supposed to be going to prom with Derek, she's supposed to be going with me, it's our junior prom, I wanted to go with the girl that I love, not a girl I barley know.
———
"You shouldn't have said yes to that annoying bitch." Kai says
"Kai!" I nudge him in the arm and he shrugs.
"It's true. She won't stop going around school telling everyone she's going to prom with you and how she's so much better for you than Atlas." He says and I turn back to him, raising an eyebrow.
"She's delusional." I say and he laugh, pulling a suit off the rack and holding it out. It's a plain black and white suit.
"I need blue accents." He rolls his eyes.
"Here, fine." He places a blue and green corsage in my hand, as well as a blue tie similar to Harley's dress color.
I nod and we walk towards the register of the store we're in. I don't know the name of it, Kai just said they had nice suits.
He told me that if I didn't let him go suit shopping with me he'd skin me alive and Kai is scary. Im serious.
Prom is on Friday, today's Wednesday, I put off suit shopping because honestly I kind of hoped there wouldn't be any and I wouldn't have to go but, nope, there's is still so many suits.
I drop Kai off back home and drive back to the house, going upstairs to my room and shutting the door, pulling out homework and beginning to work on it whenever someone knocks on the door
"Come in" I say and Atlas pulls the door open, stepping inside my room.
"Why are you going to prom with Harley?" She asks and I laugh
"Why are you going to prom with Derek?" She sits on my bed, crossing her legs.
She looks so pretty. She's so pretty. Her hair is tied back and her eyes are wide and bright, shining with anger, an anger I don't quite understand.
"You don't want to go with her?" She asks
"No." I scoff
"So why are you?"
"And I ask again, why are you going to prom with Derek?" I ask and she rolls her eyes. Silence lingering between us, neither of us talking, her gaze burning into mine.
"I'm sorry, Everette, for everything." She finally says and I nod.
"I know that you are, and I forgive you, but it isn't enough." I sit back down at the desk, turning my attention to my homework as I feel my throat tighten as tears threaten to poor out, Atlas sighs and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Can't this nightmare just be over. I just want to wake up.
———
I stand on the stairs, watching as Atlas and Leah take prom pictures together, Atlas's mom taking countless pictures of them, laughing and smiling, I smile at the sight myself before Paige punches me in the arm.
"You have another date." She reminds me and I roll my eyes
"Yeah, I got that." She laughs and runs downstairs to hug her sisters.
James gets there first to pick up Leah, his suit is black and white with red accents and her dress is red Atlas's dress is dark green, flowing down her back.
I tense when the doorbell rings. Fucking Derek.
I lean against the stair railing and watch as Atlas open the door, she awkwardly hugs him and my jaw clenches as he moves his hands down her back, stopping right above her ass.
Fucking idiot. Atlas notices me and glares towards me for me to stop and I do, uncrossing my arms, relaxing my shoulders. I leave shortly afterwards, picking up Hannah and start driving to the restaurant where everyone agreed to have dinner.
Me and Harley, Kai and Hannah, Leah and James, and Atlas and Derek are all going.
How fantastic.
We get to the restaurant and go inside, Me and Harley are the first ones there, Atlas and Derek following. They sit across from us, Me and Harley only having ordered drinks.
For a while we sit In awkward silence until Derek pipes up
"So how's everyone's night going?" He smiles. He's so normal.
I hate it.
"Good, Good" Atlas and Harley say in unison
"Fine." I chime in.
"So Everette, you and Atlas dated for a while yes?" Derek asks and I nod
"Yeah, we did." I say and he nods
"Oh, for how long?"
"7 or 8 months."
"That's a long time." Harley says with a laugh and Me and Atlas both nod
"Why'd you break up?" She asks
"Just not the right time, I guess." I say and Atlas turns her head, avoiding the conversation all together.
We fall back into silence and what feels like an eternity later James and Leah walk in the restaurant, Hannah and Kai trailing behind them.
"Oh thank fucking Christ." I mutter as they all sit in chairs around the table.
They all order their drinks and food, us all mostly staying silent while we eat.
We finish eating our food and we all split the bill, me and Harley leave first, and arrive to prom first.
When everyone else gets there we all sit down, I get Harley and me something to drink, and we mainly sit and watch as people go up and dance.
I'm miserable, truly, but fuck that. Atlas is here with somebody else and she's happy. She's laughing and dancing with him and it seems to me like she doesn't even know I'm here so I'm going to try to have a good time, I think I deserve that.
"Do you want to dance?" I ask Harley and she nods happily.
I take her hand and lead her out to the dance floor as a slow song comes on.
We begin to dance, which I'm actually decent at. I twirl her around and she laughs, she has a pretty laugh.
She's quite pretty in general really, she has short blond hair, cut off just beyond her shoulders, her eyes are golden brown, she's shorter than me by nearly a foot and a half. She's cute,
But she's not Atlas.
We finish dancing and I sit back down at the table and Harley leaves to go to the bathroom. Leah rushes over to me while she's gone and sits down
"Why the hell is Derek all over Atlas. He's being so touchy and she's so fakely enjoying it. It makes me want to puke she exclaims and I shrug.
"I don't know." I say and Leah frowns
"She wishes it were you she was here with, she told me earlier." She says, trying to cheer me up.
"Yeah. Sure." I say with a laugh and she rolls her eyes
Harley comes back to the table and Leah shuts up, James coming and sitting by her as the principal gets up onto the stage.
"Hello everyone, we hope you all enjoying your time here at prom. It is now time to announce your prom king and queen!" By now everyone in the gym is sitting at their tables.
A random faculty lady hands Turner a slip of paper and he opens it,
"Your prom queen is...." he pauses, to build suspense and Leah snorts
"So dramatic" she whispers and we all nod
"Atlas white!" Principal turner exclaims and Atlas looks at him in confusion, turning to the table and we all shrug.
"Your prom king is...."
"Everette Sinclair!"
Oh fuck me.
Harley and Derek look utterly disgusted, Leah, James, Hannah, and Kai sitting there with smirks on their faces. Bitches.
"It is now time for your king and queen dance!"
He is way to happy about this.
Me and Atlas slowly walk up to the stage and Turner places a crown on my head and a sash over Atlas.
He dims the lights in the gym and turns a spot light towards us as we stand in the middle of the gym.
The music starts playing and we being in to dance and everything feels like it was meant to be, the way her arms are wrapped around my neck, my hands planted on her waist, slightly swaying to the music.
"You know that I wish it was you, tonight, I wanted it to be you." She says quietly, the music overpowering her voice.
"Yeah? Me too."
"You and Harley looked happy." She says, her voice bitter.
"We weren't." I answer softly. I don't want to argue with her, not right now.
She mutters "oh" to herself before her eyes lock with mine and she stares into them more intensely than I think she ever has before.
"Atlas why does it have to be over?" I ask her and she sighs
"Because I'll never be able to really show you how much I love you, it'll never really be enough."
"It already is. Atlas you don't get it."
She looks at me confused as I turn her around, me still leading in the dance.
"I don't care if you hurt me. Hurt me a thousand times. Hurt me over and over again. As long as you're the one doing it, it wouldn't matter."
"That isn't fair to you."
"Damn it Atlas I don't care what's fair. I've tried to give you your space and all but I'm done. I'm done pretending like it doesn't bother me because it does."
"Not being able to touch you-" I cup her face in one of my hands
"Or kiss you-" I kiss her forehead and twirl her around
"Or love you-
It hurts."
"It hurts so damn bad. And if you really don't want to be with me- that's fine- but if Its because you think you're going to destroy me or something, it's a little late for that so don't leave- don't stay gone because of that- I need you- and if you aren't ready then tell me and I'll stop- I'll stop talking- I'll stop bothering you, just please, tell me something."
"Hey Everette" she says
"Yeah?"
"I love you." She says as the song comes to a close and pulls my hand towards the gym doors
"What?" I ask her and she shakes her head and waves at our table
I see her mouth 'bye guys' and we're already out of the gym
"Atlas what-" I'm cut off by her cupping my face, her touch so far away now that it shocks me.
"Kiss me."
I do what she says, she drops her hand from my face and puts it in my hair, tugging at it as I kiss her, the kiss,
It feels like pure fucking euphoria.
"Damn." I laugh as she pulls away and leans her forehead against my own.
"I'm so sorry." She says and I shake my head
"Stop being sorry, it's okay, everything's okay."
She nods
"I know. But what I said wasn't true. I love you enough, I always have."
"I love you." I say and she smiles, a smile I love so much.
"Yeah, I love you too."
"Does this mean that we're back?" She asks and I laugh
"You're so cute. But yes, we're back, we never left."
"You wanna go back inside?" She asks
"Yeah."
"What about Harley and Derek?" She says and I cringe. I kind of forgot about them to be completely honest.
"Uhm, they'll be okay." I say and she laughs
We go back in and walk back to the table, Leah and James are still sitting down with snarky looks on their faces.
"Fuck you both." I say and they laugh
I look around the gym and Harley and Derek are dancing together, Hannah and Kai are also dancing together.
"Harley and Derek?" I ask Leah and James and they laugh
"All of it was a plan to get you back together, they knew about it."
"Holy fuck I hate you both" Atlas says, I nod
"Even the king and queen thing?" She asks
"Yep."
"Harley and Derek have actually been together since freshman year." Leah says
I feel kind of bad for insulting him now.
No I don't. He was still all over my girl.
Oh- oh ew. He's with Harley and was still all over Atlas. Disgusting. Harley barley even touched me.
"I don't know if I told you tonight but you look gorgeous." Atlas leans over and lasts her head in my lap.
"You look pretty hot too" she says and I laugh.
I take off the blue tie, leaving me in just the suit and Atlas takes an extra piece of fabric from her dress, tying it around my wrist.
About an hour other everyone leaves and goes home, Derek takes Harley home and Atlas rides with me this time.
"This isn't how I expected prom to go, but I'm glad I ended up with you." She says when we get back and smile and kiss her
"Amen to that sister." I say. She laughs and throws a pillow at my head, inciting a pillow fight between her and Leah.
How Leah got involved? I don't know.
I shower and go to Zach's room to sleep whenever Atlas comes in the room and crawls into bed beside me.
"You didn't stay in there?" She asks
"Sorry, love, force of habit." I kiss her forehead and she rolls onto her side, her back pressed to my chest.
"You know that the 2 months without you was hell, right?" She asks
"You seemed happier." I say softly
"Only because of you. I was able to think about what you said, about Eli, about needing to grieve, I've been trying to do that."
"I'm glad."
"But I missed you. I needed you, I just needed time."
"I understand, it's okay Atlas. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm not going anywhere either, Everette. Not anymore. I promise you. I love you. And I swear, I swear baby, I'm never going to hurt you like that again. I'm so sorry."
"I love you." She falls asleep a few minutes later, the comfort in this room feels foreign. I missed her so much.
__________
Okay I was going to drag their breakup out longer but honestly my story isn't interesting if they're apart, and honestly it kind of tortured me just as much as you guys so here you go.
They're back.
I don't know how I feel abt this chapter, lmk your thoughts.