Jude's pov:
She really meant what she said. We really do watch almost 3 Disney films. First Frozen 1 and then the 2nd film.
I have to admit that they are actually not as bad as expected.
The credits of the film are just rolling when she takes the remote control and already wants to choose another film.
I briefly look at the clock, only to see that it is already 0:30. Shit, I didn't really want to stay here that long. Oh well. Actually, I didn't want to stay here at all. I just wanted to talk to her.
I really thought she had a boyfriend and didn't tell me. I don't know why that bothered me so much, but it did.
"What do you want to watch next?" she asks me suddenly. I hardly know a single Disney film, so I say the one I can see on the TV screen at the moment.
"The Lion King," I say quickly. "Good choice. That's my favourite film," she replies with a smile. At least that's got one good thing going for it then. If I don't like the film, I can watch her getting upset over every little thing, or smiling over the smallest things.
"But first I need something to eat. Do you want something?" she asks me as she gets up from the bed. I just shake my head and she disappears from the room shortly afterwards.
I look around a bit while I wait for her. She has a whole floor to herself.
There is a picture of her and her mother on a dresser. But there are two other people next to it.
When I pick it up and look at it more closely, I notice that the picture was taken in a football stadium.
I think it must be her father and her sister. Her sister looks exactly like her, only a few years younger. And you can recognise the father because all three of them have dark eyes and dark hair.
Her mother, on the other hand, looks like a typical English woman. Blonde hair, fair skin and blue eyes.
But why aren't they here? Maybe they have separated. Or maybe they just live apart, like our family.
"What are you doing?" suddenly asks a voice behind me.
I'm so startled that the picture accidentally falls out of my hand and the frame shatters.
"Shit. I'm so sorry," I say as I bend down to pick up the picture and the broken pieces.
Fortunately, nothing happened to the picture.
"No...um, it's fine," she says as she looks thoughtfully at the broken frame. She lies. Nothing is good. I can tell by the look in her eyes and by the way she kneads her hands. She always does that when she's nervous.
She puts the things she has taken to eat on her bed and then kneels on the floor to help tidy up.But something is wrong. She looks all the time, sadly at one spot on the floor, she doesn't move her gaze even as she starts to pick up the pieces.
"Stop. Stop it, you're going to cut yourself," I say, but the first bit of blood is already flowing over her fingers. "Leya. Stop it. You're bleeding," I warn her, but she doesn't listen.
So I get up, lift her off the floor and put her on her bed.
It seems as if she is still not aware again of what is happening around her.
I take her hands in my hand to see where exactly she is bleeding. Meanwhile, she looks me right in the face, but she remains silent.
"Come on, let's go to the bathroom," I say again and am about to go out when she doesn't move an inch again.
I take her by the waist again to stand her up.
In the bathroom, I clean her hands and put a plaster on her cut.
"Can I ask you something?" "What", she replies. "Who is that in the picture?", I ask her cautiously. I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have.
It takes her a little while to answer me. "My father and my little sister," she suddenly answers coldly. I was about to ask her something else when she beat me to it.
"They are dead. Both of them. My sister gave me the picture frame for my last birthday," and again there is not a single emotion in her voice.
Are you saying I broke a gift from her dead sister? Shit. How am I ever going to fix this?
"Shit. Leya I'm so sorry." I take her hands in mine and look at her.
"I'm not mad about it. But could you maybe leave me alone in here for a few minutes?" she says and I nod and leave the room.
I look again at the broken picture frame and pick up the individual pieces, wrapping them in a bit of paper so that nothing more happens to them.
I have been trying to talk to her for 10 minutes, but she doesn't answer. She has also locked the door so I can't get into the bathroom.
When she still doesn't open the door after another 10 minutes, I decide to leave. I'll probably regret leaving her alone afterwards, but if she doesn't want to talk, I'll leave her alone.
I take the pieces wrapped in paper and leave her room and then finally the house. It's a good thing I didn't run into Sandra. Explaining all this to her would certainly not have been very pleasant.
On the way home, it's raining cats and dogs and I can't stop thinking about what I've done wrong again.
"Hey, Jude, what's up?" I hear my brother's voice through the car's loudspeakers, as he answers after the second ring. "I think I fucked everything up," I reply. "What do you mean?" "Exactly what I just said," I say angry. "Hey. Man, I can't help it. Calm down a bit. I didn't do anything to you," he says innocently. He's right, after all.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" he asks impatiently. "I told you about the girl," I ask him. "If you mean Leya, then yes, about 200 times already. What about her?" "I broke her picture frame that she got from her sister for her birthday. Now she's mad. And I just left now without saying anything."
"Bro, but it's just a picture frame, just tell her sister to get her a new one, why all the drama?" he asks me. "Her sister is dead. It was the last gift she gave her," I reply. It's quiet for a few seconds.
"Okay, fine. That changes everything, of course. Um... and can you tell me...," he says in a calm voice, "why you fucking left her alone then?" he says now, no longer calm but almost shouting.
"She needs you now, maybe all this has awakened some memories in her or something. You should be with her now, even if she doesn't want to talk to you. Or wants to see you. She certainly doesn't want you to go," he says, still angry. "I thought you liked her..." he says, now calm again.
"I do. I really do," I say, a little disappointed in myself. "Apparently not. Otherwise you wouldn't have left her alone now." Shit, shit, shit.
"What should I do now?", I ask him. "I don't know. You have to find out for yourself. But remember: if she's really worth it, then fight for her and support her, but if not, then let her go, preferably now, so that it's not so hard."
How does he know all this?
"Thanks, bro," I say when I hang up afterwards. I know what I have to do now.
I see my mother's car parked in exactly the same place it always is.
I stand right next to it and finally go into the house. I'm extra quiet so I don't wake her up.
I am sure this is going to be a long night.
When my alarm clock rings the next morning, it is 7:00 am. I quickly get dressed and go downstairs where my mother is already sitting in the kitchen.
"Jude? Am I dreaming, or are you actually awake at 7:00 a.m. when you don't have practice until noon?" my mother greets me.
"I am awake. I have something important to do," I say. I somehow don't want to tell her about what happened. She'll probably react the same way as Jobe and I can really spare myself that.
"Okay, do you want to have breakfast with me?" my mother asks me. I nod and sit down with her.
After breakfast and many more failed attempts to find out what I am up to, my mother says goodbye to go to work.
When it's 7:50 a.m., I quickly get into my car and drive off.
8 minutes later, I pull into the car park of Leya's school. I get out and look around to see if I can see her anywhere. But no.
What if she doesn't come today?
But at that moment, I see Kiara, her friend. Where she is, Leya can't be far away either.
And now I see her. She just comes running into the schoolyard to greet her friend.
A few metres further on, 5 girls are standing, looking at her all the time, pointing at her and then whispering among themselves. They must be jealous. Not everyone can look that beautiful in the morning, especially not someone who isn't Leya.
I start walking slowly in Leya's direction. She stands with her back to me.
Some of the people starts turning in my direction to watch closely what I'm doing.
The two who are only 50 metres away from me suddenly start walking towards the school building.
"Leya," I shout across the courtyard. She remains transfixed, but does not turn around.
By now everyone is looking to see what is going to happen. I hope they don't have too many expectations, because I'm certainly not going to propose to her here. Well, at least not yet.
When she finally turns around and looks me straight in the eye from afar, I come a little closer to her and Kiara.
"Um, I think I left, um, my hamster in the toilet," Kiara says nervously when I finally stand directly in front of them.
I and Leya both look at her in confusion as she disappears around the corner.
"What do you want?", Leya finally asks me angry. "I wanted to apologise.I feel like shit after I broke the painting and then when I just left." "Yeah, you should," she replies harshly. I think I deserve that.
"Anyway, as I said I wanted to apologise. You don't have to forgive me, at least not right away. Just know that I'm really sorry," I say and hand her the thing I've been carrying around all morning. It's wrapped like a present.
"Open it," I say. "No. I don't want any presents from you.", she replies and pushes the present back into my hand.
"Open it. I sat on it all night." "I said no Jude. Please accept it.", she says calmly and looks at the floor. "No. I don't accept it. I've made a decision and I'm going to fight for it now, okay?", I say a little louder.
Probably everyone can hear us by now, but I don't give a shit at this moment.
"You have made a decision? What do you mean?" she asks me, confused, as she looks me straight in the eye again.
"I have decided for you. Otherwise I wouldn't be here begging you to open this fucking thing," I say as I lift the gift.
She says nothing, but just stands there quietly.
She suddenly takes the gift and opens it.
Out comes the picture frame, with exactly the same photo and new glass in the front.
"I have been trying to glue the picture frame back together all night. I know that doesn't justify my leaving now. But I'm trying everything to make it up to you," I say hopefully.
I wait for an answer, but she just stares at the picture, which is almost whole again.
"You don't have to," she says. Oh okay. I guess that means she's through with me. Her gaze, still as cold as yesterday, tells me.
"Okay. I understand.", I say and smile at her, just as I'm about to turn to leave, she asks me quietly, "What are you doing? I don't want you to leave."
As I realize what she just said I turn to her again and take her in my arms.
I don't know why but somehow that feels right. Holding her in my arms as I'll never want to let her go.
By now I can feel all the eyes on us, but I don't care, as long as I have her.
"Promise me you won't leave again," she whispers softly against my shoulder.
I break away from her a little, take her face in my hands and look straight into her beautiful eyes. "I promise," I say and place a kiss on her forehead.