Today is the traditional wedding I'm so tired,sleepy and sore Busani kept me up all night and it seems like the only thing that makes Busani acknowledge me as his wife is sex....now it's currently 6 am and the wedding is starting at around 10 I'm preparing for the wedding I'm going to wear my Xhosa modern designed dress and Busani is going to wear his Zulu attire
My dress is black and white with a black and white doek and black block heels and black and white beads honestly speaking I chose these two colors because I didn't want to wear all black at my wedding because black is my favourite color Ndalo's sister Buhlebendalo is doing my make up
Ndalo's family is huge she has 4 older brothers 1 older sister and a younger sister slindilile almost the whole family likes me except one of the aunts it's said that she wanted her daughter's bestfriend to marry Busani and I stood in her way and it seems like her daughter and the bestfriend are here today god I don't want drama
Buhle:there you are babe....I'm done you so beautiful skwiza
Me:thank you Buhle
I look at myself in the mirror and wow she really did a great job sana yho why didn't she just study being a beautician or something cause wow she knows her thing sana
Buhle:skwiza it's 9:00 now come let's help you in your dress
Ndalo:awusemuhle mngani...so like seriously my bestfriend is marrying my brother how about I just marry Bandile since Siyo is not available
We all laugh....as they are helping me into my outfit
Me:haaa Ndalo...you know what go try your luck
Ndalo:since I have your blessings I will your brother is hot marniie I love when he speaks Xhosa sana yhoo
Sli:Ndalo bhuti Bandile is so strict and serious just like bhuti Busani and wena you are so wild just imagine having him as a husband he will definitely tame you he looks like a person who doesn't take nonsense....and you....aii lemme keep quiet
We all laugh but we know it's TRUE and Ndalo knows it too
Ndalo:aiisuka I'll give him some pussy that's how I'll tame him
Ndalo is just something else....we get finished we get called outside since the wedding is starting
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The wedding went well and we are acting as if we are in love we doing a great job I must say the aunt I was telling you about,her daughter and the bestfriend if looks could kill I would be dead rhaa
We are now eating under the tent the decor is beautiful I love it and the food is amazing I'm telling you Busani and I we just briefly kiss now and again and we haven't really talked heyy...
Now here I am with Ndalo,Buhle and Sli these 3 are the best we are all chatting and I'm happy because of them.....I ask them to help to my room because of the dress and I want to change these heels when we get there what I see is something I didn't expect it's Busani....
He is on top of a girl I've never seen...maybe it's the girlfriend but the least he could have done was to respect me and our wedding day now where the hell am I supposed to sleep because he is having sex with her on the very same bed he fucked me last night and the same bed we are supposed to sleep in before we move into our well his house...wow just wow I'm speechless
Tears are streaming down my face I don't know why.....but what he has done is just embarrassing,humiliating and disrespectful
Buhle:Busani what the hell
Ndalo:Bhuti who is this girl
Sli:what about uYamihle bhuti what you are doing is embarrassing her
I don't know when the elders got here but I also see them yelling at him and he is quiet he isn't saying anything to defend himself well what can he say when he was caught red handed I just take Ndalo's car keys downstairs and drive out I need to clear my head he has really humiliated me
Busani is the most selfish person I have ever met sana as for my parents maybe they are happy and they think I deserve this....but before I left I saw them standing there too they said nothing to defend me I'm sure they are rejoicing I have my phone and my wallet with me which is a good thing I'll sleep in a hotel or bnb here somewhere I'll see them tomorrow
I have booked into a hotel I switched off my phone and let's say today I'm drinking for the first time I ordered some wine here and they gave me 2 bottles my parents are the reason I'm crying once again because if it wasn't for them forcing me into this marriage non of this would be happening I take of the dress and heels that I didn't get the chance to change because of what I saw and I get into bed and fall asleep
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The following day:Sunday
I must say this hotel is fucking expensive but it's worth it also gives toiletries because everything I'm using now is brand new the tooth brush and everything the time is 10:25 I get dressed in that stupid dress after showering I look in the mirror and I don't look like someone whose life is messed up I look beautiful with or without makeup with my cultural scars on my face those ones done by Amabhaca
I check out and get into Ndalo's car I need to get myself a car once I'm settled in......what I'm thinking about now as I'm driving is that I didn't use protection with Busani and I don't even know he uses it with that girl what if he infected me with something god why do these things happen to me I'll have to get tested sana yho
I get to the Bhengu's house I drive in and it like everyone has left but there are a few cars left which I'm happy for I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone right now a nap would do...I get into the house everyone is in the lounge the parents,brothers,sisters and a few aunts and uncles and the husband of the year Busani....Ndalo is the first to stand up and comes to hug me and asks if I'm okay I tell her I'm good I just need to change
MaZulu:mntanami you can go and change then you can come back we are having a family meeting...
I'm not their family yhoo but I don't want to be rude I smile and nod then go upstairs to change this room repulses me sana I feel vomiting...I go downstairs and sit between to Ndalo and Buhle and I keep quiet
Bab'bhengu:Ndondakazi unjanii
How does he expect me to be mxm
I smile and answer
Me:I'm doing great baba thank you for asking
I WANT TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW ARGHH!!!
Bab'bhengu:ehhh Busani thina singabantu abadala we wanted to talk to about what happened yesterday what you did was pure disrespect for our family name and mostly your wife uMaDlamini and you did your shenanigans in my house you brought a girl and slept with her in my house in a bed you share with your wife uyeyisa marniie Busani what do you have to say for yourself!!!?
Bab'bhengu is seriously pissed sana yhoo....this thing they call my husband is looking down I don't know if he regrets what he did or what
Him:ngingathanda ukuxolisa baba kuni bantu abadala but most importantly kumkami I know what I did is wrong and I know I disrespected you baba nawe Buseka
Ohh Buseka is my matrimonial name I was given by my mother in law MaZulu
(A/N:I'm Xhosa I don't know if in the Zulu culture this is done but I know in the Xhosa culture it is done)
Me:Bengicela uphuma klo mshado
I say with a blank straight face and I say calmly....I hear gasps Ndalo is holding my hand tightly
Dad:Ini(what?!)
Me:In Cape Town after the first night I spent with Busani his girlfriend called him and he made no effort of answering outside at all however he answered the call in front of me telling her he loves her and he misses her now I wouldn't mind he has a girlfriend because this is a loveless marriage and I don't expect him to love me what upset me the most was level of disrespect he showed me and he had the guts to ask me if the call made me angry when he knew what he did was wrong.....and yesterday showed that he doesn't have respect for me as I have respect for him I've tried acting civil with Busani but he doesn't want to meet me halfway the only time Busani acknowledges me as his wife is when he wants sex from me and that's it we have only known each other for a week and this is what he has done just think what he would do in the near future.....so I want out
Everyone is quiet his sisters are comforting me not that I need them to because I'm not crying his mother and aunts are looking at me with sympathy as for his father and uncles they seem disappointed....my parents and sisters they are looking at me with blank faces something I expected and Busani is looking at me with pleading eyes....fuck him
Mom:emtshatweni kuyabekezelwa Yamihle
Mqundu wakhe lomama respectfully yho
MaZulu:mntanami uqinisile umawakho siyazi imbi lento yenziwe uBusani mxolele mntanami
Dad:Yamihle what you're saying is complete nonsense awuphumi klo mtshato sewutshatile sundihlaza mntanandini
Bab'bhengu:Ndondakazi uma uphuma klo mshado the deal to invest in your father's company is off uyakwazi loko angithi
I can't believe these people.....they want me to sacrifice my happiness for this bullshit
Dad:yabona wena uba ukhe waphuma klo mtshato I'm disowning you ndiyakuxelela
Wow....now that is something I never expected now its either I stay and be unhappy or leave and get disowned by my parents well after this I don't have parents they are dead to me I'm done....I sit and think for a while
Me:fine I'll stay...
I see everyone's eyes light up
Me:but just know that I'm the one who is without family you two that call yourselves parents you're no longer my parents I will never forgive you for everything you've done to me as for you sisters I don't know what I ever did to you but you have always hated me but I'm sure you will be happy that I'll no longer be a part of your family your parents have disowned me it's fine even though they were there they were there for you not me and it's okay I've accepted it.....I hope you will be happy with the money you will be getting from this deal I'm sacrificing my happiness for you I hope you live with yourselves now I want to change the room I'm in I don't want to share a room with Busani I want my space can you at least give me that.....
They're all quiet they are all looking at me and I'm only realizing it now that I was crying all along...
Ndalo:I knew you would want another room so I prepared one for you..
I give her a small smile I love her so much the only true sister I have.....she takes my hand and stands up with Buhle and Sli following us we get into Busani's room we get all of my stuff and move it to the other room and I sit on the bed as they look at me
Me:thank you guys....however can you please give some time alone please
Buhle:okay baby
She kisses my forehead and hugs me the other two follow and Ndalo is the last one
Ndalo:I love you
Me:me too
We both laugh because of me not saying 'I love you too'
I close the door behind her and lock the door and get on the bed them drift to sleep...