"Maybe... I don't know... Maybe they'll get a divorce or something."
Emma stared at him, stunned. "Severus... Lily is married. You have to get over her."
"I can't," he muttered, pulling a hand through his hair. "You know that. I'll always keep trying."
He said something else, but the buzzing in her ears drowned it out. She was married. Married to another man. And he still couldn't let go.
He was in the middle of a sentence, when she said, "I have to go."
His face fell. "Oh. Alright. I'll see you tomorrow then."
"No." She closed her eyes for a moment, as the gaping black hole in her chest grew. "No, Severus. I'm not coming back."
"What?"
Something changed in his eyes. They grew dark with emotion, but she was too tired to pinpoint which one. Too exhausted.
"I'm sorry. I have to go."
She stood up to leave, but he grabbed her wrist.
"What do you mean, you're not coming back?"
She couldn't bear looking up at him. Neither did she try to shake his hand off. It was too much. It was all too much.
"I just can't do this anymore. I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back."
Lily was right. She'd been right all along. He would never change. Nothing would ever be different.
He let go of her wrist, stepping back. She heard his breathing get heavier, faster.
"You don't mean that," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."
She closed her eyes again, and when she opened them, a tear escaped. "Goodbye, Severus."
"No," he said, his voice tight with sadness. Or anger. She couldn't tell. "No, you can't do that. You can't do that to me, Emma."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, but she was already on her way to the door. He probably hadn't even heard it.
"Come back! Come back here, right now!"
She winced at his roaring voice, but she didn't stop. With a trembling hand, she opened the door.
"Emma! Emma, come back! Please, I need you. You're all I have! Emma! EMMA!"
As she shut the door behind her, her heart broke into a million fragments, and she knew she'd never be able to pick up all the pieces.
The first thing that came back was the pain. A throbbing pain, as if her heartbeat pumped nothing but fire through her veins. She heard a groan, only to realise moments later that it probably came from her own lips.
"Emma?"
Severus.
She wanted to open her eyes. Why were her eyelids so heavy? Another groan. Her arms refused to cooperate. She blinked, her eyes slowly adjusting to the bright light.
Where am I?
"Emma."
Her head fell to the side. Severus sat beside her, his face pale as a ghost and with deep, dark bags under his eyes. He leaned forward in his seat, taking her hand in his.
"What happened?" Her lips wouldn't move properly, so the words came out sluggish and distorted. Her voice sounded hoarse.
"You're safe, Em. You're alright."
No. Her head lulled from side to side. There was something... Something important... What was it? The pain dulled her mind, making it impossible to think.
"It hurts."
"I know. Poppy gave you a blood-replenishing potion, but it takes time."
"Blood..." Sectumsempra. The image flashed before her eyes. Quirinus. The red streak of light, coming at her until the whole world turned crimson. She gasped, trying to push up from the bed, but she felt too heavy. Her arms weren't strong enough. "Quirrell," she uttered. "You were right. It was Quirrell."
"Emma –"
"And You-Know-Who." She gulped. "His voice. I heard his voice. He was already there."
"Emma, stop. Lie still. They've been taken care of. Just rest."
Her breathing slowed and the exhaustion overwhelmed her. "Okay," she muttered. "Okay."
She wasn't sure how long she'd been lying there, but when she opened her eyes for the second time, her body didn't feel nearly as heavy. The throbbing pain in her veins had dulled. Yet Severus still sat beside her.
He stared down at the floor, his shoulders sagged. His hand still held hers tightly, as if he was afraid he'd lose her if he let go.
"Hey."
His head shot up. "Hi. How are you feeling now?"
"I dunno," she said, pushing herself a little higher up on her pillow. "Tired."
The ghost of a smile passed across his lips. "You've had a long day."
"How did I get here?"
"I found you," he whispered. "All covered in blood. You were barely breathing."
She nodded. "Sectumsempra. I tried to shield it, but..."
"I think you did," he said. "Partially, anyway. You would've been dead already if you hadn't blocked some of the force of that spell."
"How did he know it? Did you teach him?"
"No." The word came out like a snarl. He cleared his throat. "His master must've taught him."
Emma nodded. "He's back. You-Know-Who... Voldemort is back. You know that, right?"
It was only when his thumb massaged the back of her hand that she realised her breathing had quickened. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the headboard to regain her composure.
"He tried to come back. But Quirrell did not succeed."
"Did you defeat him?" When he stayed quiet, Emma looked up at him. "Did you?"
He pressed his lips into a thin line. "No. The boy did. Lily's son."
Her eyes widened. "Harry went after him? I told them to go back to their dorms! Oh God, is he okay?"
"He's fine, Emma. He won."
"But... But how? He's only a first-year."
"Something about Quirrell not being able to touch him. It's... It's complicated. If it makes you feel any better, I think you saved his life."
"Me?" She frowned, hanging her head miserably. "No. I failed. I'm terrible at duelling. I should've stopped him, but I failed. I failed to protect those kids again."
"No, Em." He brushed a strand of hair out of her face with his index finger. His skin tingled against her temple and she leaned into his comforting touch. "Dumbledore said it couldn't be done unless he was already weakened. You hit him with something, didn't you?"
She closed her eyes. "Maybe. I'm not sure."
"You did well, Emma. I'm proud of you."
"He's really gone? Quirrell?"
"Yes. He'll never hurt you again."
With her eyes shut, she laid back into her pillow, enjoying the feel of his thumb rubbing across her hand.
"Why did you lie to me, Emma?"
The words were uttered so quietly, she thought she heard it wrong. She turned her head to look at him, but he was staring down at the floor, hunched over and with a curtain of black hair hiding his face from view.
"What?"
"You said you loved me. Why did you trick me like that?"
Emma's heart squeezed together. Something was wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. "I don't understand," she whispered. "Why do you think that I don't love you?"
When he didn't respond, she pushed herself up. It took all her strength, but he didn't protest. With her back against the headboard, she took a moment to catch her breathing. She lay her hand on his and he stared at their intertwined fingers. "Severus, I love you. More than anything."
"You don't have to lie anymore," he muttered. "I saw you with him. In Hogsmeade."
She sucked in a breath. "No!" Cold fear overwhelmed her. Her lungs collapsed. She couldn't breathe. She gasped and coughed, but her senses were submerged in a sea of panic.
She felt, rather than saw, how he pulled her against him, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "Breathe," he whispered in her ear. "Just breathe."
Her body trembled against his chest. Her hands clutched his robes so tight it hurt her fingers, but she didn't care. Nothing was important, except that he stayed with her. Her breathing came ragged, the oxygen slashing down her throat.
"No," she croaked when she could finally get a word out again. "Don't leave me."
"I won't," he said, still rubbing her back. "I'll always be your friend. No matter what."
Tears welled up in her eyes. She shook her head against his shoulder, but when she tried to talk, another coughing fit interrupted her.
"I won't stop fighting for you," he whispered. "No matter what it takes."
"I'm sorry, Severus," she croaked, unable to let go of his robes. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to see that. I only went to try and get more out of him about my aunt. Please tell me I didn't lose you because of that."
When he didn't respond, she pulled him further in, her heart pounding against his chest. Suddenly, he pulled away. Her eyes widened with fear as he looked at her.
"You flirted with him to get information out of him?"
She cringed under his gaze. "Yes," she whispered. "I know I shouldn't have, but the Ministry wouldn't tell me anything and I just... I just wanted to know."
For a few moments, he just stared at her. Then he burst into laughter. The lead in her chest lightened a little, though she couldn't find it in her to let go of his robes.
"That's a very Slytherin thing to do," he said with a grin. "Using him and keeping me in the dark to get what you want. Very cunning. Perhaps the Sorting Hat didn't have it easy with you after all."
Her heart sunk and she finally let go of him. "No! No, that's not it. I didn't mean to deceive everyone, I just..."
"Did what you had to do to get what you wanted." He smirked. "Slytherin."
Emma sighed heavily. "Fine. Maybe I'm more like you than I thought." She looked up. "Did you mean what you said earlier? You'd fight for me?"
His lips curled into a smile as he leaned forward. When his lips met hers, the butterflies took flight and she felt like she could finally breathe again.
"Are you sure you're feeling good enough to go?" Emma ran a scrutinizing eye over the boy, as he put his box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans back on the hospital wing nightstand. He was already jumping off the bed, while she could still barely stand up for five minutes. Her recovery went much too slow for her taste.
"Yes, Professor, I feel fine now. Madam Pomfrey already said I could go."
She narrowed her eyes in mock suspicion, then sighed. "Well, if Madam Pomfrey said it..."
Harry grinned and made to leave the hospital wing.
"Harry, before you go..."
He turned and she gestured for him to sit down on the bed opposite her. He obeyed, watching her expectantly.
"Listen. I know you know this, but I want to have said it anyway, so just bear with me, alright?" When he nodded, she continued, "What you went through wasn't easy. It's going to take some time to process. We only have a few more days left before the summer, but if you feel the need to talk, you know where to find me. That goes for when we come back in September as well."
"I know, Professor. Thanks."
She smiled. "You know, your mum would've been exceptionally proud of you."
His eyes lit up. "You think so?"
"Well... She would've been mortified first, of course, for you going down there with only two other twelve-year-olds to protect you. But she'd get over the shock eventually." Her heart warmed as Harry laughed. "And then she'd be extremely proud of you. Your dad, on the other hand, he wouldn't have been mortified at all. He'd probably be a little jealous of your adventure."
He laughed again, before standing up. "Thanks, Professor. You know, you got more hurt than I did. Maybe you should find someone to talk to, as well."
She grinned after him as he left the hospital wing. "Don't you worry about that. I've got someone."