"Go away, Emma," Lily snapped as they walked from Potions class up to the Gryffindor tower.
"Oh, come on, Lil, it's not me you're angry with."
"No, but you're still defending him, and it's really starting to piss me off, okay?" She glared over her shoulder, sending a chill through Emma's spine. This girl was frightening when she was angry.
"Lily, wait!" Emma sprinted to catch up, then grabbed her arm and forced her to stand still. "Please. You're both my best friends, my only friends, and I miss all of us being together. I hate being caught in the middle, but I hate it more that you two are fighting. Just... Please, give him a chance to show you that he's sorry. He really is sorry."
Lily hesitated, her face still stuck in an angry frown. Eventually, she sighed. She walked over to the nearest alcove in the wall and sat down on the ridge. "I don't understand how you can just forgive him like that," she said as Emma joined her. "He called me a Mudblood – the worst insult to a muggle-born he could think of. You're a muggle-born, too. How are you not furious with him?"
Emma shrugged. "Because I know he didn't mean it. He does this shit all the time, but –"
"Exactly!" Lily exclaimed. "He does this shit all the time. At some point he doesn't deserve to be forgiven anymore, Em. I gave him plenty of chances, but all he keeps proving, over and over again, is that he's a arsehole."
Emma averted her gaze, her heart hurting at the awful things she was saying about her best friend. "He really tries, you know."
"Well, maybe that's not good enough." She put her hand on Emma's shoulder. "He's not a good person, Em. I know you love him, but you know that as well as I do. You should follow my example. Cut him out of your life. We've done enough for him, you especially."
Her blood ran cold. "Don't say that, Lil. You can't just give up on him, he's your friend."
"Not anymore." Lily stood up. "I'm sorry, Em, I really am, but I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I think you shouldn't either, but that's for you to decide."
She walked away, leaving Emma in the alcove with tears in her eyes.
I'll never give up on him.
"You fucking idiot."
Emma grinned, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't agree to Ladies' Night," she said, raising her glass of elf-made wine to emphasise the words, "just so you could spend all night calling me an idiot."
Charity rolled her eyes. "Well, then you shouldn't have told me that you turned down the love of your life. Twice. You dolt."
"Dolt?" Emma chuckled as Charity shook her head.
"You, Emma Moore, are a tragedy."
"Are you done?"
Charity swigged down the rest of her drink and poured herself another. "Not even close, my dear. Not even close."
"You'd better pour me some more as well, then," said Emma, emptying her glass.
"Okay. Do me a favour, think about this. You're so scared of losing him, that you'd risk losing him to avoid the pain of losing him."
She thought for a moment, then nodded. "That is correct."
"Do you really not see the flaw in that reasoning?" said Charity, lifting her arms in exasperation.
Emma laughed. "I do. Trust me, I do. I'll get there. I just need a little more time."
Charity narrowed her eyes at her before nodding. "Good. You know, you're both my friends, you and Severus. I've not seen him smile until you arrived. You make each other happy. Don't throw that away."
"I won't. Thanks, Charity."
"You're very welcome. Just don't let that man go so easily. You know what they say, there are a lot of fish in the sea."
"There's something you should know," said Emma, trying to contain her laughter. "You're using those proverbs wrong."
"Oh, don't be silly." Charity waved her hand dismissively. "Which one of us is the Muggle Studies teacher?"
"Fair enough." Emma chuckled. "You would know better."
"You know, I'm actually a little jealous of you both."
"Jealous?" Emma scoffed. "Of what, exactly? The constant worrying or the paralysing fear?"
"The fact that you found love in a place like this, where it's practically impossible to find love. For us teachers, anyway." She leaned back, putting her feet on the desk as she rolled her hair around her finger. "Makes me want to try it, too."
Emma leaned forward, an eager smile on her face. "Who are you going to try it with?"
She chewed her cheek in thought. "I mean, there's not a whole lot of choice, let's be honest. I'm thinking... Quirinus."
"Really?"
"Hm," she acknowledged. "He's a sweet guy. A bit of a wimp, but that stutter of his is kind of cute."
"Fair enough." Emma laughed, lifting her glass in the air. "To love."
"And to friendship, just in case it doesn't work out." Charity grinned, clinking her glass with Emma's.
Over the next couple of weeks, Emma found herself in that very same spot at her desk quite frequently, bending over scrolls and wishing she had some more of that elf-made wine. Sometimes Severus would join her and they would spend half the night chatting, rather than working.
"Or you sick of it yet?" he asked her on one such evening.
"I was sick of it two hours ago," she answered without looking up. "But if I stop now, I'll never be able to finish it."
He chuckled the deep chuckle that she'd grown so fond of, and she knew she'd have to admit to being distracted very soon.
As the letters of a fifth-year's essay danced in front of her eyes, she finally looked up. "Can I ask you something?"
"You're supposed to be working."
She crumpled a piece of parchment and threw it at him playfully.
"Fine," he said, lips tugging upwards. "Now that you've successfully distracted me, you might as well ask your question."
She hesitated for a moment. Steeling herself, she asked, "If Lily were here, would you still want to be with me?"
Severus froze in his seat. His face fell. "Emma..."
"Look, I know it won't happen –"
"No, it won't, so why would you ask me that?"
"Because I need to know you won't change your mind if someone else you care about comes along." She shrugged, muttering, "I told you, I'm scared."
He was silent for a moment, as he mulled over her question. Then he said, "I'm not sure this is the answer you're looking for, but if you want the truth, here it is. What I feel for you is not the same as what I felt for Lily. It's different. If only one of those feelings is love, then I don't know what the other is. But what I do know, Emma," he said, leaning across the desk to place his hand on hers, "is that in all the time we've been together, and all the time we've been apart, you never for a moment left my mind."
Her heart fluttered as she rubbed her thumb over his.
"You mean everything to me, Em. And I want nothing more than to still sit here with you in five years, or ten."
She chuckled. "I dunno. I'd kind of hoped we'd finished marking these essays by then."
With a smile on his face, he leaned forward and kissed her softly. "You'll let me know when you're ready, won't you?" he whispered against her lips.
She nodded, tracing the lines on his face with her index finger. "Not much longer now."