"If it isn't our favourite duo of losers!"
"Ignore them," Emma muttered. She grabbed Severus' wrist, knowing full well he'd already taken out his wand. "Just keep walking."
"Where are you going, Moore?" Potter shouted after them. "We've acquired a fun little fact for you."
"I don't care. Leave us alone," she called over her shoulder, not slowing her pace.
Potter and Black sprinted past them and slid in front of them, two identical grins on their faces. They put their hands up to show they were empty. "No wands," they said. "Just a little chat. We think you'll be interested in this."
Severus pulled on her arm, whispering, "Let's go."
But the Gryffindor boys wouldn't let them pass. "Lily told me I'm not allowed to pick on you two anymore," said Potter. "So I thought I'd be nice for a change. You must be wondering why your almost-boyfriend Reid changed his mind so suddenly, aren't you?"
Emma froze. How did he know about that?
Before she could respond, Severus jumped forward, his wand raised. "Shut up!" he screamed. "Just shut up!"
With a wide smirk on his face, Potter leaned aside to look past him. "Well, I think that should tell you all you need to know, shouldn't it?"
She tried to swallow, but her throat suddenly felt parched, as she struggled to make sense of the situation. "Severus? What's he talking about?"
"Nothing, Emma!" he roared. "Don't listen to him!"
"Alright, I'll tell you then," said Potter. "Reid changed his mind about you, because your good friend here, threatened him."
Emma stepped back. "That's a lie. You're lying." Her breathing quickened when her best friend refused to look at her. "Severus? You didn't..."
When he finally glanced at her, his eyes were filled with guilt. "I didn't mean... I couldn't..."
"Oh, God, you did." Emma gasped for air, before storming past the boys towards the castle. Behind her, the Gryffindors roared with laughter.
Her feet took her to the one place she knew she could be alone: the empty classroom on the second floor. She slammed the door shut behind her and crumpled to the floor, tears spilling from her eyes. He was her best friend, and he'd betrayed her.
When the door opened and Severus stepped inside, she jumped to her feet, wand raised. Her heart pounded in her chest and she couldn't control her tears.
He stuck his hands up. "Emma, I'm sorry. Please..."
"Sorry? You're sorry? You purposely broke the only relationship I've ever had before it even started! Why, Severus? What were you thinking?"
He flinched, lowering his head.
"How could you do that to me? I thought you were my friend!" she roared.
"I am! Emma, please..."
She stepped forward, poking her wand into his chest. "A real friend wouldn't do that! Do you just want me to be lonely and unhappy? Is that it?"
"No! Of course I don't!"
"Then why, Severus? Why?"
"Because I thought I was going to be lonely!" he blurted out.
She hesitated, until the anger found its voice again. "Stop lying to me!"
"It's the truth, Emma," he said, staring at the floor below their feet. "Every time Lily starts dating someone, she disappears on us for weeks on end. Like we don't even exist anymore. I didn't want to lose you that way too. I didn't want to be alone."
A final tear rolled from her eye as she stared at her best friend. "That's why you did it? Because you were afraid I'd leave you?"
He nodded. "It was selfish of me," he muttered. "I'm sorry."
"Selfish doesn't even begin to cover it," she growled. Then she stepped forward, finally lowering her wand. When he looked up, she said, "You should know by now that I'd never leave you."
He hesitated only for a second, before throwing his arms around her in the tightest of hugs.
"Watch your posture. Bend your knees more. You must be flexible."
Emma nodded and did as Severus instructed, doing her best not to loosen the grip on her wand again, which had been his previous remark. They circled around each other, wands drawn, ready to attack.
They'd chosen the unused classroom on the second floor for their training sessions; the same one they'd used when they were still in school. No one ever disturbed them here.
She was panting. Hair stuck to her sweaty cheek. With her free hand, she wiped it out of her face. She'd been training for almost an hour before Severus had joined her. She couldn't wait to take a long, hot shower after this.
Her eyes never left his wand-hand. That's where the clue was. That's how she knew what he was doing.
"You go first."
It was all the encouragement she needed. With her lips sealed, she shot spell after spell towards him.
Incarcerous! Confringo! Petrificus Totalus!
It was no use. Severus didn't even break a sweat as he dodged and parried them all. His moves were nimble, elegant, while her own were still much too rigid, even after several months of training.
Suddenly his hand twitched. This was the sign she'd learned to look out for. That twitch, that sudden change in direction of his wand, showed a change from defensive to offensive. She threw out a shield charm before resuming her offense.
"Aargh!"
All of a sudden, she found herself flying backwards. He'd cast not one, but two offensive spells, and she'd only blocked the one. Her wand clattered to the floor as she threw her arms out to catch herself. Her wrist cracked as she flung into the wall. Her tailbone stung as she finally hit the floor, but it was soon drowned out by the pain in her wrist.
"Ow!"
Severus came running up to her, kneeling before her. "Are you alright? I didn't mean to... Are you hurt?"
She groaned, cradling her arm. "Yes. My pride is wounded. Merlin, I am so bad at this!"
He let out a relieved chuckle and sat down against the wall next to her. "You seem to be improving."
Emma scoffed. "Yeah, at a flobberworm's pace, maybe."
"You'll get there. How's your arm?"
"I think I broke my wrist. How did you get so good at it?"
"Practice, Emma," he said, gently pulling her arm closer to inspect the damage. "Years and years of practice. I had no choice but to learn to fight, remember?"
The Gryffindor bullies. "You're right," she muttered. "I'm sorry. I should've been there more for you."
"More?" He looked up. "How could you possibly have been there more for me?"
"You know... Help you train. Defend you more often."
He smiled. "You did help me train. And don't take this the wrong way, but you were a terrible dueller."
She chuckled. "Yeah..."
"You did what you could. I know I never said it, but I've always been very grateful to you."
The butterflies in her stomach woke up, flapping their wings around. She felt her face heat up. "Really?"
"Of course. You were always there for me. I didn't even have to ask. Lily used to tell me I should thank you more often."
Emma chuckled. The skin on her arm got goosebumps under his fingers. "That sounds like her. Why didn't you?"
"I could never find the right words. Come here."
He rested her arm on his lap and pulled her in closer, her head leaning awkwardly on his shoulder, facing the wall behind him. She squared her jaw and closed her eyes. Under the tap of his wand, the bone snapped back into place. She barely contained a cry of pain.
"All done," he whispered, still holding her in his arms. "How does it feel?"
"Better," said Emma. As she rested her head in his neck, the butterflies in her stomach exploded into a flurry of wings. "Much better."
As the weather outside turned to a summery April warmth, the dungeons were still as cold as ever. Emma regretted wearing her summer robes, rather than the ticker winter ones, when she came down to help Severus with his potion.
"What's next?"
Severus didn't respond, his complete attention on the cauldron in front of him, as he slowly poured in the powdered root of asphodel. He handed her the empty bowl and continued stirring.
"A small piece of valerian root. That's the last step."
Emma nodded and cut a piece off the root. "This okay?"
He glanced up from the cauldron. "Almost. A little smaller."
She cut a little more off the root and held it out to him. He finished stirring, then accepted it and added it to the potion. As they watched, it turned into a pale pink bubbling mass. Severus nodded satisfied.
"That'll do. Now it just needs to be stirred for an hour."
Emma breathed in deeply through her nose. "How is it that such a strong, dangerous potion like the Draught of Living Death could smell so... sweet? Like roses."
Severus grinned, stirring the potion continuously. "Smells, like looks, can be deceiving. Don't get too close. The droplets go into the air as it boils. Breathe in too many of them and it can knock you out."
With a shudder, Emma stepped backwards. She took the remaining valerian root and sopophorous beans and put them back into their respective jars. She placed them back on the shelves and stoppered the flask of wormwood essence.
"How often do you make this potion?"
"I show it to the sixth years every year. They'll have to make it themselves next week. Not that I expect any of them to succeed."
"Why do you have them try, then?"
"Practice." Severus shrugged. "They have nothing left to learn from the easier ones."
"Do you usually make it alone?" Emma asked as she rinsed the bowls they'd used for the ingredients.
"Yes, though it's much quicker this way."
After finishing cleaning up, she sat down at one of the nearby tables, watching the potion simmer as Severus kept stirring. It bubbled peacefully. Emma laughed when she noticed Severus staring at her, rather than the potion. "What?" she asked, grinning.
"Nothing." He caught himself and returned his attention to the cauldron. "Actually... There's something I've been meaning to ask you."
She looked up curiously. "Alright. What is it?"
He hesitated. "You know I'm thrilled, more than thrilled, to have you back with me. To have my best friend back."
Her cheeks flushed and she felt her heart flutter. "Yeah, of course. Me too."
"I am truly sorry for hurting you for all those years. I know what that feels like, and... If only I'd known how you felt about me."
Her smile faded. Why did he bring that up now? "Severus..." Don't go there. Not now. I'm not ready.
"No, listen, please." He tapped his wand on the spatula, to which it promptly started stirring on its own. Severus sat down beside her. "I want to make that right. I will not make the same mistake again."
She leaned on the table, one hand fiddling with her braid. "What's your point, Severus?"
His hand lifted, then lowered again, as if he'd changed his mind about reaching out to her. Confusion knotted Emma's eyebrows.
"Would you do me the honour of going out with me sometime? On a... date?"
Her jaw dropped and she froze in her chair, one hand still on the elastic band that held her braid together. "You want to... go on a date with me?"
He nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching into a hopeful smile. "You said you loved me before. I thought perhaps it could happen again." He let his fingers slip across the back of her hand before interlocking her fingers with his. "I swear I won't hurt you this time."
Her stomach turned. Every fibre of her being wanted to jump into his arms and scream, "Yes!" But there was a piece of her, a dark sliver deep inside her soul, that sent waves of terror through her bones. Terror strong enough to freeze her to the core.
When she hesitated, he squeezed her hand and added, "It does not have to mean much. Just a date. No commitments."
"I..." She swallowed the bile down, staring at their entwined fingers. "Severus, I can't."
Her words wiped the hope from his face. "Why not?" His voice had gone low, softer yet more intense, like it always did when he was upset.
"Because you still don't see it."
"Don't see what? Emma..." He used the index finger of his free hand to tilt her head up, forcing her to look him in the eyes. Their darkness shone with emotion, the hope in them not quite yet extinguished. But it will be. "I see that you mean everything to me. I see how perfect you are for me. I don't want to spend another minute without you."
"But you still don't see how I feel."
Gasping, Emma jumped off her chair, tearing her hand from his grasp. She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Then tell me."
She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Severus."
Her hand slipped from his grip as she turned her back to him.
"It's just excuses then." His voice had turned cold now, frigid with the pain of rejection. When she stopped again, he continued, "If you can't tell me, then it's just an excuse."
"That's not fair." She looked over her shoulder.
"Then tell me what the problem is. What don't I see?"
It had been a very long time since she'd seen him look so dejected. His shoulders sagged, his head hung. For the second time in his life, he'd opened his heart to someone. And for the second time, he'd been dismissed.
He's right, she thought. I owe him an explanation. But it won't do him any good.
Her breath trembled as she sighed. "You misunderstood, when I said I left you because I loved you. You thought it was all in the past. But I never stopped loving you, Severus. In ten years' time, I never managed to get over you."
When his eyes filled with shock, she averted her gaze. Silence filled the room until it was so thick she felt suffocated. She turned and made her way to the door.
"You're saying you love me... And that's why you're turning me down?"
She hesitated, with her hand on the doorknob. "Yes," she whispered. "That's right."