Emma smoothed the ground below the tree, just inside the Forbidden Forest. She collected some leaves from around her and scattered them over the same spot. Then she stood up and stepped back, her heart heavy with loss.
Lily immediately threw an arm around her shoulders. "Do you want to say a few words?"
"No." Her voice cracked and she shook her head. "No, that's okay."
"I'm so sorry, Em," she said softly. "He was the cutest toad ever."
When Lily glared at Severus, he snapped, "What? What do you want me to say? He was just a toad!"
"No, he wasn't!" Emma snapped back. "He was my pet."
"I don't see the difference."
"Oh, for God's sake, if you can't be supportive, just go away, Severus!" Lily exclaimed.
He threw his arms up and marched off, grumbling to himself.
"Sorry, Em. He's so grumpy lately."
She shrugged her shoulders, staring down at the little grave she dug with her own hands.
"It must be so hard for you," she added, rubbing Emma's arm. "First that whole debacle with Reid, and now this..."
Emma sniffed. She'd desperately wanted to forget that. Why did Lily keep having to bring it up? "Let's just go back inside."
Arm in arm, the two girls walked back into the castle, to the Great Hall, sitting down wordlessly at their regular spot, where Severus was already having dinner. As she took her place next to him, he slid over a steaming mug.
"Cranberry," he muttered, without looking up. "Black."
Emma peered along the rows of guests. It was nice, really, seeing so many people come together to say goodbye to Aunt April. They were mostly people from work. A few who she'd known for years, and who Emma remembered coming by the house when she was little. But the one person she'd hoped would show up, the one person she dreaded facing, wasn't there.
She sighed, turning back to the front. The funeral officiant was speaking, but she didn't hear a word of what he said. She'd tried to listen, but everything just sounded like white noise. Either way, it didn't matter. Everything he said was based on what she'd told him. She knew it all.
Next to him, barely three meters ahead of her, stood the casket in which her aunt lay in eternal sleep. The lid was closed, but Emma could picture it easily. Her eyes closed, hands folded over her chest, a serene smile on her face.
It's not fair.
She closed her eyes, but no tears would fall. She hadn't cried all week. Her body was on survival-mode, pushing through until all this was over. Then she could go to bed, curl up into a ball, and break down. Or perhaps she'd just sleep. The past week had been so draining, she felt like she could sleep for a month.
I hate this, she thought to herself as the officiant droned on and on. Aunt April would hate this too.
Suddenly, a hand slid under hers. She looked down to watch Severus' fingers entwine with hers. When he squeezed softly, she looked up. He was watching her with a concerned look on his face. He nodded once, as if to say, "I'm here for you."
Her heart swelled and she mouthed, "Thank you." She gestured to the other guests with her head and whispered, "He's not here."
His eyebrows knotted in confusion.
"She's his sister," she continued, tears of frustration clouding her vision. "And he doesn't even show up."
A look of understanding flashed in his eyes, and he squeezed her hand once more.
"CROOOAAAAK!"
Emma sat at her desk with her head in her hands. Her head pounded and her eyes stung. "I know, Croak. Just... Not now, please."
"CROOAAK."
She rubbed her hands over her face, unable to get the view of the casket out of her head, after staring at it all day.
"CROOAAK!"
"Shut up, you stupid –"
Knock, knock.
With a groan, she stood up. On her way to the door, she stuck her finger through Croak's cage to pet him. He sat still, staring up at her with accusation in his beady eyes. "Sorry," she muttered. "I didn't mean that."
A smile and two full bottles of firewhiskey greeted her as she opened the door. Emma couldn't help but chuckle. "You're a sight for sore eyes, Charity Burbage, you know that?"
"I do know that, yes," Charity grinned as she stepped past Emma into the office. "How was it?"
"Bloody awful," Emma groaned. "Do you know how hard it is not to break down when a hundred people give you their condolences one by one?"
"That many? Wow, your aunt must've been well-liked."
"It may have been fifty," she muttered, sagging in her chair. "I dunno. It felt like a hundred."
Charity chuckled and poured two full glasses of whiskey. "Was it nice, though?"
Emma nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, it was nice. She can finally rest now."
Charity lifted her glass. "To April Moore."
"To Aunt April," Emma concurred, clinking her glass against Charity's.
"What was she like?"
"The best parent I could've wished for." Emma sighed, sipping from her drink. "She wasn't always there, because of work, but she never missed a chance to show me that she loved me. She never failed to be there when I needed her."
Charity smiled, giving Emma a moment to collect herself. "She sounds wonderful. You never told me, how come your aunt raised you instead of your parents?"
"I don't have parents. Not really. My mum died in childbirth, so I never knew her. She was a muggle. They both were, actually, my aunt was the exception in the family. And my dad..." She sighed, taking a gulp of her whiskey. The liquid burned down her throat and she felt grateful for the pain, temporary though it was. "My dad pretty much dumped me on my aunt's doorstep when I was a day old. Blamed me for my mum dying. Never wanted me to begin with."
"Oh, Emma! I'm sure that's not true."
"No, it is. I found him once, back when I was fifteen or so, and he pretty much told me so. It's fine, I got over it years ago. I didn't need him. I had my aunt. But..."
"But what, darling?" Charity asked quietly.
She sniffed, wiping a stray lock of hair out of her face. "But she was his sister." Her voice broke. "She was his sister, and he didn't even have the decency to show up for her funeral." She gulped her drink back, tears forming in her eyes as the whiskey burned her throat.
Charity leaned forward, pouring her another drink. "No offense, but he sounds like a right prick."
Emma chuckled, angrily wiping her eyes dry. "Yeah. He is."
"Thank Merlin you take after your aunt, instead."
Her heart swelled and she couldn't help but smile. "How would you know that? You never even met her."
"I have my sources." Charity leaned back in her chair, wiggling her eyebrows at her.
It took her only a moment to figure out who that 'source' could be. They only had one common acquaintance who had known her aunt. "Severus said that?"
Charity's smile widened. "He did indeed. Since we're on the subject..."
"Fuck's sake, I'm gunna need more alcohol." Emma grabbed the half-empty bottle and filled her glass back up.
"Okay, look. We're friends, right?" Her eyes shone with a teenage-like excitement.
"That depends on what you're about to say."
"Not say. Ask. I want to know it all. What's up between you two?"
"Charity..."
"You can't tell me you don't fancy him." She laughed. "I have a working set of eyes, you know."
"Alright, fine." Emma stared into her glass, swirling the golden liquid around. "I may... have a... soft spot for him."
"Oh, honey, there is so much more to it than that. Keep talking."
"He... We've been best friends since we went to school together."
"Right," said Charity, sipping her drink. "And how much of that time were you together for?"
"None! We were never together." Emma giggled, the alcohol starting to do its job.
Charity's jaw dropped. "Wha... Not at all?!"
"No! It's not like that, we're just friends."
She held a hand over her heart. "That is the saddest story I've ever heard."
"Oh, shut up, you." Emma grinned.
"I'm serious! You two, like, belong together. Or, as the muggles say, love is thicker than water."
"That's not... What?" Emma knotted her eyebrows in confusion.
"Alright, tell me this then. You like him, don't you?"
"Are you kidding? I love him." She lowered her eyes, staring into her glass. "I've always loved him. But he's never seen me that way."
Charity's face fell. "You've been by his side for so long, and he never made a move?"
"No." She shook her head, forcing away the pain in her heart, like she'd done so many times before. "He cares about me, but he doesn't love me in the same way that I love him."
"But he does love you!" she exclaimed. "The way he looks at you... I'm sure of it!"
But Emma shook her head. "If that was true, he would've said something by now."
Charity sighed, her excitement lost. "I'm sorry. Merlin, you've not had an easy life, have you?"
Emma chuckled joylessly. "No. I guess not."
Charity finished her drink, then slammed the glass down on the desk. "No. You know what? That's ridiculous. Even fate is not that cruel." She took Emma's hands in hers. "If you've loved him for so long, and you love him still, you will have him one day. Mark my words."
Emma chuckled, before downing her drink. If only.