(This chapter will have a point of view from Karin. This is important in the story! Enjoy :)
Month of December...one week later.
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Karin's POV. 🤍
"So why'd you ask me here Karin? You said to leave you alone and that's what I'm trying to do." Ben said from across the table. In all honesty, I was hesitant of my next words. Being vulnerable is foreign to me, but I know that this needs to be said.
"I don't love him." I said. Ben looked up before there was longing silence, which I broke.
"I thought I did. But I think I longed to experience the feeling so much that I made myself believe that love was what was being exchanged between him and I. I hate affection and vulnerability so much that I push away any feelings that want to be sprung up. Feelings that I feel with you Ben..."
He sighed. "Karin, I-"
"No, let me finish. I thought that if I started something with you then that would be my way of self sabotaging the happiness that I felt with him. Which is why I was so adamant on pushing you away. But then I realized that he doesn't make me laugh like you do, or smile to the point my face starts to hurt. What I'm trying to say is that you're the one for me Ben. I'm falling for you, and that's the reason I keep wanting to fall back, but I'm not going to allow myself to do so. I'm going over his house today to break things off with him, whether you want to work towards us afterwards, is up to you." I finished.
There was silence before he smacked his lips and made his way around the table.
"You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that. I'm for you Karin. I was just upset that it took you this long to figure it out." He said as he leaned down and pressed his lips onto mine. The kiss was pure bliss, because now I didn't have that thought in the back of my head telling me to push him away. In fact, I wanted him closer. Which is why I grabbed his face making his lips press deeper into mine.
"So you all mine now?" He said as we pulled away.
"I'm yours. But you knew that." I smiled as he kissed my forehead.
"What did you do today?" I asked as we started walking. It was around 7 pm, which meant I just got off of work an hour ago. My blue scrubs were still on my body because I never went home; I simply felt the need to talk to him first...be around him.
"Went to the studio with Yb and the gang, you heard his new song that just dropped?" He asked as I nodded.
"Yeah, it's all over the gram. How is Kentrell taking the break up? Yara doesn't like to show it, but I know my bestfriend and she's going through it."
"He had started back on the lean about a month ago and just wasn't up for anything interactive. But lately he's been off of that shit and really just been planning his album release party. He's doing better. He was supposed to drop the album as soon as we got back from tour, but it got postponed because of how shit went down." He said.
"We need to get them in the same room together. They both aren't happy and I can't help but feel like shit didn't go down the way it portrayed. I won't lie, when I first found out from Yara, I did indeed bash him out of anger. But I now know that there has to be more to the story because that man loves her like no one else has." I said truthfully, I made a mental note to re-unite them somehow and soon.
"Say, he ain't explain the situation to Yara?" He abruptly stopped walking as I looked at him confused.
"Explain what?"
Ben proceeded to tell me how everything went down that night from Kentrell's perspective. From the laced weed, to the weird ass bottle girl, to that fraud ass picture that spread all over social media. It all started to make sense now.
"What the fuck! Why hasn't he told Yara yet? She thinks that he cheated on her and has just given up on her completely." I asked
He rubbed his head. "Shit, I'm not exactly sure. This whole time I thought she knew about everything but I guess not. Maybe this is his way of trying not to hurt her? His lifestyle comes with a lot. I guess in his mind, keeping her away from all his shit is what's best for her." He said as I thought about it. That type of reasoning would truly be selfless. But I still feel that Yara deserves to know. Everybody knows expect her and I can't stand seeing her hurt from something that didn't even happen in the first place.
We walked around some more before it started to get dark outside. We made it to the parking lot before I turned to face him.
"I want you to be mine officially." He said as he slipped his arms around my waist.
"Jayceon and I's relationship has been over for some time now. I'm going to end things with him; he at least deserves to be broken up with face to face." I said as he sighed and nodded. He opened my car door and I proceeded to climb in.
"I love you ma. I mean it." He said making me smile. I leaned up and pecked his lips.
"And I love you." I said before I drove out of the parking lot and started driving towards Jayceon's house. I want a future with Ben, which means that I need to break things off with him first.
I stopped at a red light and pulled out my phone to text Yara.
Rin ❤️: We need to talk. Call me asap!
My bestfriend deserves to know, period. I proceeded to drive until I finally reached his neighborhood. I took the keys out the ignition and began walking up the driveway. Knocking on the door, it took a minute before I was met with his face. He smiled as soon as he saw me.
"Wassam bae. I missed yo lil ass." He said as he attempted to kiss me before I slightly turned my head. I walked through the door and sat down in the chair across from the couch in his living room.
"Jay, can you come sit down please. I need to talk to you." I said playing with my car keys. I was nervous. I truly did care for Jayceon but I wasn't in love with him. I thought for sure that he would be the one to break up with me first due to my lack of affection but I guess life had other plans.
He sat down on the couch across from me. He observed me before he spoke.
"What's wrong ma? What's going on?" He asked.
"I-I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. We look right together and we vibe well, but the love just isn't there." I blurted out. He stared at me for a while before he shook his head.
"Where the fuck is this coming from Karin?" I looked up at the sound of his voice. I could tell that he was angry because he's never cussed at me before.
"I care about you Jayceon. I truly care about you. I'm just not in love with you. And because I care about you, is why I'm going to be completely honest with you...I'm in love with someone else."
Silence. The silence was killing me as I awaited his response.
"Jayceon?"
He rapidly blinked his eyes before he re-focused his attention onto me. His face formed into a solemn smile.
"Damn. I can't say that I didn't expect us to break up, I kind of sensed you being more distant as of recently. What's his name? Do I know him?" He asked
"His name is Ben. And no, you don't know him." He looked at me knowingly.
"He gives you something that I can't. Yeah, I'm disappointed but if you're happy, then that's all that matters. You may have been distant lately but you've also been more happy. I care about you too Karin, the love may be one sided but you'll always have a place in my heart ma." He said as I nodded with a smile.
"I hope you find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved Jayceon. I truly mean that. And I'm sorry that things had to go down this way. Just by the way you've reacted, those are character traits of someone worthy of love." I said as I leaned down to hug him. I soon let go as he stood up from the couch.
"I guess I'll go get my bag of things..." I asked as he nodded. I headed up the stairs and grabbed my duffel bag of clothes I kept here, along with my toiletries. I took one last look around the room, before I closed the door and headed back downstairs.
"You got everything ma?" He asked as I looked up and nodded.
"Yeah, I think I do..."
I honestly didn't know what else say, This situation has happened to countless other people before but never to me. I never do relationships, including break ups.
"Goodbye, Jayceon." I said.
"One last hug? Don't leave me hanging ma." He said with his arms open. I smiled and gave in to his hug.
I smelled his familiar cologne scent which soon was replaced by the smell of chemicals as he abruptly turned my back to face him, before a white cloth was pressed against my mouth.
"J-Jayceon." My cries came out muffled. I tried reaching behind me to grab his face but I felt my eyes closing with each second.
"Call me BlueJay." He whispered into my ear before everything went black.
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Kentrell's POV.
"Wassam Yb." Ben said as he walked into my living room.
"Waddup. Where you been at?" I asked as I continued writing in my notebook. Recently, I've started attending therapy sessions. My therapist thinks that writing down all my emotions and thoughts throughout the day will help me understand why I tend to look down upon myself so often.
"With Karin. Man she want us to be official and a nigga geeked. She been playing with me for too damn long." He said with a goofy ass smile on his face.
"I'm happy for you mane. Truly." I smiled and went back to writing. After a while, I could sense him still standing there making me look up.
"What?" I asked.
"Ion know, you just seem so at peace. What changed?" He asked as he sat down across from me.
"Therapy. Seclusion. And Yara. I meant it when I said I would get better for her which meant I had to do better regarding myself." I said truthfully. All this work I've been putting in is truly for her but me as well. I've been ducked off and writing my music. I've been focusing on perfecting this album I'm about to drop. It's gonna say everything that needs to be said.
"You've heard from her lately?" I asked
"Who?"
"Yara, dumbass." I said. I think about her every fucking day. I check her social media to see if she's been posting and she hasn't posted in months. I feel fucking horrible for how shit went down. For the shit she got to deal with because of my lifestyle. I made the decision to be selfless and let her hate me, so she wouldn't have to deal with my shit. But I regret that decision, because I miss my baby and there's only so much therapy can do.
"Nah, but Karin tells me that she's been hurting. And don't be mad...but I told Karin about what really went down that night." He said as I threw a couch pillow at him.
"Mane is you serious? She fasho gone tell Yara. Fuck Ben, I ain't ever telling you shit again dude." I stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen as he followed.
"Look, it was gonna come out sooner or later. And Yara is like a sister to me mane, I feel like she deserves to know that she hurting because of a lie. And why you don't want her to find out. Shouldn't you want to clear your name?" He asked as I sighed.
"Clear my name for what? There's gonna be more delusional ass hoes that's gone try to break us up and tear down what we've built. She don't need that messy ass shit in her life mane. Yara is pure. And I love her. If I gotta make her hate me and love her from a distance just for her to be at peace, then that's what I'ma do." I shrugged as I poured some juice in my cup. The front door opened as I heard 3Three and Montana's voice boom from the foyer.
"Waddup lil niggas. What y'all on?" 3Three said as I dapped Montana up. I mushed 3Three's head and sat on the counter.
"Question is what you on? I see y'all went suit shopping today. What's the occasion?" I asked glancing at the designer bags they were carrying.
"Atlantic Records wants us to represent them at some Industry Gala. It's where big ass companies get together to make business moves. Supposed to be dope." He said as I nodded.
"Well, have fun." I said putting my glass in the sink.
"Hell nah, you ain't gone be moping around all day. This is the perfect type of function for someone who's about to drop album of the year." He said as I made my way to couch, laying back down.
"He's right Yb. We gone need all them contacts for projects in the future. This'll be a power move fasho." Montana said as I sighed. Montana knew what he was talking about when it came down to business.
"Aight, I'll go. When is it?"
"Saturday." He said as I nodded. I mentally reminded myself to get a suit.
"Is the album close to being done? You been in the studio non stop." Ben asked
"Yeah, just have to do sound check and figure out what Ima write for this one song. But overall it's basically done. The release party is in two weeks, so y'all niggas better mark your calendars." I said
"Nigga you better mark your calendar to remind you to get your ass off of that couch. House cat ass nigga." Ben said making everybody laugh.
"Y'all he just lovesick. He missing his Yara." 3Three teased. And he was right, I missed her so much that I've been having trouble sleeping without her but there was no way I was telling these niggas that. She my whole heart. I'm starting to think that this space isn't doing either of us any good, because I feel like I'm hurting her more than making a positive impact on her life. Cus I know that I need her in mine. I hope that she don't think I've given up on her, because I'll never be capable of doing that. I just needed to become a better me before I can be with her again. It wouldn't be fair to her if I wasn't making any effort to change for the better.
"Y'all niggas lame. How bout y'all go to your own house if y'all gonna talk shit." I said
"WHO IS YALL? 3Three said that shit, not I!" Ben yelled. I got up and walked upstairs, closing the door behind me. I felt drained and I haven't really done shit today. I slipped off my clothes and climbed into the shower. I lowered my head under the water and just let it run down my body. After a while I got out and looked at myself in the mirror. I know I said I felt drained but I looked the part as well. I grew a mustache due to me not shaving it off in a while. Bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and staying in the studio till the morning.
I moisturized and got dressed before climbing into bed. I figured I should at least try to get some rest but I knew that it would be short lived. Before I rested my head, I just laid there and thought about everything. How everything went wrong and how my choices were the reason for it.
My phone dinged on my night stand as I reached over and grabbed it. It was a post notification. Once I saw the user I clicked on it immediately.
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Yarachanel: and then there was one.
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My baby so beautiful. That's all I could think of. I can't stand only being able to look at her through a screen. I looked in my nightstand and pulled out the ring box, revealing her promise ring.
Seeing this ring in that hotel room fucking broke me. That's when I really knew I fucked up. Looking at it, I had to think about things in her perspective.
Me not trying to get in contact with her. She probably thinks that I don't care when all I do is think about her.
How much it pained her to see that photo with the whole internet talking about it.
How she felt with no explanation for the shit she saw, and how much it hurt to know that I broke my promise to her.
In a way. Me staying away from her was selfish instead of selfless. I never thought that I could be hurting her more by staying away from her. Hurting her isn't my intention and will never be. That's when I decided that I was going to get my wife back. I need to reassure her of my love for her. My love for her is stronger than the doubt in the back of my mind that I'm not good enough for her.
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They going through it y'all 🥲
Where y'all expecting that from Jayceon because I know Karin wasn't 😭
Don't forget to vote and comment!