"Do you know what I usually remind my friends of?" Tanong ko habang nakatingin sa dagat. Ramdam ko naman ang paglingon sa akin ni Duke na inaantay akong magsalita.
"That whenever they experience a problem, they are overthinking, stressed out, and hold hatred toward someone.. I always let them know I'm readily accessible willing to hear how they feel." I spoke as I stretched out my legs in front of me, hands at the back on the floor, and trunk straight.
"Because we are friends. I don't want them to go through it by themselves. I get that it is their problem, but that doesn't mean you have no right to openly discuss it with someone. It's given that everyone fights different silent battles, but.. you only need to find the right person who will listen to you without invalidating your thoughts.."
He spoke with a broad smile and asked, "How are you going to figure out the right person who won't invalidate your thoughts?"
"If you feel comfortable around that person, you can ask about their willingness to listen. If so, then say anything you want. And if ever one day they will at some point invalidate your thoughts, then find again the right person." Sagot ko sabay ngiti sakaniya.
"That's not easy.." Mahinang ani niya.
"Yeah. Although it might not be easy, once you let your thoughts go, the weight here in your heart," I paused as I took a moment to point my heart,
"and here in your head.. will lighten." I continued as I pointed at my head.
I turned to face him, but all I could see was him gazing mindlessly out at the water. It seems that he isn't processing what I'm saying.
"Even though having many friends, I understand how it feels to want to talk to someone yet not feel comfortable doing so," I said, looking back at the view.
"We're friends, right?" I asked as I turned back to face him. He looked at me, smiled broadly, and nodded.
"Duke, I'm free for a conversation whenever you like. You may share what's bothering you with me, but yeah... I understand if you still find me to be uncomfortable around. I'll hold off till you feel at ease." I said and patted his shoulder.
"Every day, people face different challenges. All you need to do is succeed in that challenge, but if you do lose, learn to accept it. At least you gave it your best and gained new knowledge. Still, you weren't a loser 'cause you learn something." I continued as I wiped the sand from my hands.
"Duke, I am aware that you are here to relieve stress. I just want you to know that I'm your friend and you are more than welcome to tell me anything you want." I resumed as I turned to face him. His slightly teary eyes while he was gazing at the beach caught me off guard.
"Ice creaaaam kayo d'yan, ayaw niyo? Tapon ko 'to!" Rinig kong sigaw ni Mamang Sorbetero. "Wait here." Saad ko at bumili ng ice cream.
Habang inaantay ko yung ice cream, I was staring at him. Sincerely, I want to give him the peace he needs and help to clear his mind so that he can carry out all of his duties that he used to cheerfully.
"Here, ice cream" Aniya ko saka iniabot sakanya.
"I should be the one to buy, you handed me a free chuckie on the plane." He chuckled.
"You know that's pricey, I was even debating whether to give it hahahahahahaha."
"I will then pay for it.." He replied while licking the ice cream.
"Nah. Forget it hahahaha."
Even though it is beyond midnight, I still can't go to sleep because of Duke. You might think he is fine every time he smiles but he is not. I want to be one of those who he can trust and I want to understand the situation he is in. Hays. Napaka-pakialamera ko talaga sa buhay ng iba.
"Ano na naman iniisip mo? Bakit parang hawak mo ang problema ng Pilipinas? Makakunot ka ng kilay at noo d'yan." Biglang sambit ni mama, napangiti tuloy ako sa sinabi niya.
"Mama.."
"Hmm? Crush mo yung Koreano?" Prangka niyang tanong saka humarap sa'kin.
"Pagkakaalam ko 27 na yun ah? Payag naman akong maging boyfriend mo yun, kung papayag siya hahahahaha" Pang-aasar pa niya.
"Mama! Hindi ko siya type." Sagot ko sabay irap sakanya.
"Sus, talaga lang ah hahahaha"
"He's here to unwind, but I have no idea what's stressing him out."
"Why not ask him instead? Or you could just wait patiently for him to feel at ease with you." She answered.
Napakunot noo ako sa sinabi ni mama. I mean, hindi sa sinabi niya, kun'di sa language na ginamit niya.
"Huy! HAHAHAHAHAHA Bakit tayo nag-e-English? HAHAHAHAHAHA" Tawang-tawa ko pang sambit, nakalimutan kong nanay ko nga pala ito.
"Ay sorry, ma. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA nadala lang ng emosyon." Dagdag ko pa nang ma-realize kong hindi ko siya tropa.
"Ikaw kasi eh, ini-English-English mo 'ko eh." Nakangisi niyang sagot.
"Pero kaya ba ang lalim ng iniisip mo? Kasi concern ka sakan'ya? Bakit ka naman concern kung wala kang feelings sa tao, aber?" Tanong niya. Minsan, may pagka-slow din talaga siya.
"Ma! Mas ma-issue ka pa sa mga kaibigan ko eh, 'no?" Sagot ko sabay pag-irap ko pa sakaniya.
"Fine. Concern citizen ang anak ko." Nakangisi niyang sagot.
"Pero ang taray ah.. kapag may pera ka ta's may problema ka, tamang bakasyon lang sa ibang bansa hahahaha." Dagdag niya.
"Nga pala, wala ba siyang kaibigan?" Curious niyang tanong.
"Madami."
"Complete family?"
"Opo."
"Pero malayo siguro loob niya?"
"Hmmm baka po."
"Tama 'yan, nak, na habang nandito siya, comfort mo lang. 'Di natin alam ang takbo nang pagiisip ng tao, 'di rin natin alam kung may mga suicidal thoughts 'yan, 'di ba?" She asked, I nodded.
"Kaya matulog ka na, kailangan dapat nakangiti ka kapag kaharap mo siya para mahawa siya sa smiles mo." Ani niya saka tumabi sa higaan ko't niyakap ako.
"Good night mama, I love you."
"Good night, love you too, nak." Sagot niya.
Masarap sa pakiramdam kapag hindi malayo ang loob mo sa magulang mo. Iyong feeling na gusto mo nang sumuko, at wala kang makausap ni-isa sa mga kaibigan mo pero isang "love u too nak", "nak" lang ng magulang mo, fully charged ka na ulit.
Nagising ako dahil sa naririnig kong mga nagkukwentuhan, siguro nasa kusina yung mga kamag-anak ko. Tinignan ko yung phone ko at 7 a.m pa lang, akala ko naman 10 a.m na.
I came out of the room with unbrushed teeth, sleepy dust in my eyes, bare face, and messy hair.
"Eat well, anak." Rinig kong sambit ni Lola Ayang. Jusko, naii-spoiled na naman ang bunso kong kapatid.
"Mama, asan ka?" Malakas kong tanong habang kinukusot ang kanang mata. "Gising na ang senyorita." Sagot naman ni mama, nagtawanan naman ang mga tao.
I yawned and asked, "Ano pong almu---" Napatigil ako ng nakatitig lang silang lahat sa'kin. I gently moved to look at the dining chair and fuck shit I saw Duke eating Filipino breakfast as he was fucking staring at me with a broad smile that he can't hide.
"What are you staring at?" Kunyaring galit na tanong ko, at pumuntang restroom. I walk to the bathroom and act like nothing happened. I want to die now, please!
Pagkatapos kong maghilamos at magasikaso, bumalik ako sa dining table. Umupo at nagsandok ng makakain. Pretending like nothing happened 'cause I'm fucking embarrassed.
"It's early in the morning, and you're here..at this hour?" Mahinang tanong ko kay Duke. He laughed quietly and replied, "Asked them what happened hahahaha" He whispered. I awkwardly smile in response.
Pagtapos kong kumain ay maliligo na dapat ako dahil tutulong ako sa pagluluto para sa boodle fight namin mamaya sa tabing baybayin.
"Samahan mo muna ang Tito at papa mo." Sabi ni mama.
"Saan?"
"Sa Batong Dako."
"Ayoko ma, di nga ako marunong lumangoy eh. Ano gagawin ko do'n?"
"Bakit? Sinabi ko bang lalangoy ka? Sasamahan nila si Duke makita yun."
"E'di sila na lang."
"Sumama ka nga, konyatan kita eh."
"Ma!?"
"Magbihis ka na kung ayaw mo makotongan."
Wala akong choice kun'di sumama sakanila. For sure pagbalik namin, nasa baybayin na sila mama at nakaready na yung mga food.
Si Papa ang nasa unahan ng bangka, sunod si Duke, ako at si Tito sa likuran.
"This site is truly amazing and lovely just like the residents here. I don't regret choosing this location." Masayang saad ni Duke.
"That's true, this place is amazing." Sagot naman ng Tito ko.
Pinapakinggan ko lang ang kwentuhan nila. Usap matatanda hahahahaha.
Nasa ibabaw na kami ng bato, nagaaya si Papa at Tito na tumalon. Kahit bigyan nila ako ng isang milyon, hindi ako tatalon.

Author note: Sorry, I couldn't find a really clear picture. You can search for "Batong Dako in Silago, Southern Leyte" ♡♡
Nauna namang tumalon si Tito. "Follow us." Ani ni papa kay Duke
Duke nodded with a child's little smile at saka namang tumalon si Papa.
I was behind Duke when he glanced at me. "I know we're friends, but don't you dare ask me to jump," I said as I glared at him. He chuckled suddenly.
"I know. Just move a little here," he paused while pointing, "So you can see me jump." He continues with a smile.
Syempre, umusog ako kasi masunurin ako eh. Medyo nakakatakot kasi feel ko konti na lang mahuhulog na 'ko. "I will jump when I count to three." He spoke. I then nodded.
"One"
"Two" Saka naman siya bumwelo sa pagtalon.
"Three!" Sabay naming sigaw. He carries me like a bride, which makes my heart beat faster. My back is supported by his right arm as my legs lie on his arm. I clung to his neck.
"POTANGINAAAA M--" Sigaw ko habang unti-unti kaming lumubog sa tubig. I closed my eyes, I'm so scared!
Ilang saglit pa'y naramdaman kong nasa ilalim na kami ng tubig. Naalala ko, hindi pala ako marunong lumangoy. When I opened my eyes, Duke was swimming toward me. He uses his right hand to swim while wrapping his left hand around my waist. Yet I was able to breathe again and open my eyes.
I saw Papa and Tito smiling, "Aguy, akala ko ba natatakot ka" Pang-aasar ni Papa.
"I'm so annoyed" Naiinis kong bulong sa sarili. They are all laughing.
While his right hand was still around my waist, I glared at him. But even though he was a guy and I could feel his hand around my waist, I didn't feel uncomfortable. I don't know why, but as he holds me, I feel safe, respected, and protected. You won't feel like you're taking advantage of anything because of how gentle he was.
Lumangoy ulit si Papa at Tito papunta sa bangka habang nakapasan naman ako kay Duke. "Anong kahihiyan pa ba dapat kong maranasan?" I whisper as I took a deep breath.