JJ kissed your cheek intermittently while she made you pancakes. At one point, you put your hand on her chest and said, "You're the sweetest, Jennifer. I couldn't ever have a better girlfriend than you. I love you."
JJ looked in your eyes and responded, "My beautiful girl, I love you so much. You make me so proud to be yours. Can I have a kiss?"
"Mhm..." You kissed JJ deeper, and pulled away with a smile. "You know, I...I feel comfortable. Today, at least. You make me happy," you murmured. "Well, you always make me happy." You put your arms around her waist and hugged her. "Thank you for everything you've done for me, Jay. I love you,"
"Oh, I love you too, baby...wait, I need to flip the pancakes, hang on." You pretended to pout as you let go of her waist and allowed her to flip the pancakes.
You watched her with admiration, loving every inch of your girlfriend. JJ turned to you and smiled. She was glad that it seemed to be a good day for you, she loved to see you happy again.
You ate together at the counter, smiling until you finished eating and put your chin on her shoulder, looking up at her face. She kissed your forehead, then your lips when she put her fingers under your chin to raise your head. You could taste vanilla and butter on her mouth, and the tea you'd both been drinking.
"You can have coffee," you chuckled, being reminded of her abstinence from drinking it before work. She knew you were averse to it, and she would rather taste you than coffee. "Thank you for this amazing morning, Jayje,"
"Okay, well, you're welcome; and no, if it's between kissing you in the morning or having coffee before work, I choose you. I will happily wait until we get to work to exchange affection for coffee," she chuckled.
"Damn," you scoffed. "You must really love me, because while I cannot stand the idea of coffee right now, I do seriously miss caffeine in the mornings."
You leaned on JJ's shoulder until she wrapped her arm around you in a loose hug. She kissed the top of your head and sighed, "Yeah, you must be tired lately, baby, I know..."
You tried to keep your head at work. Every day you came home and had to rest, you were completely worn out. JJ made sure you were taking care of yourself — vitamins, tons of water, sleeping well, anything she could think of or that the doctor had said.
On Saturday, you woke up with JJ's arms around you. Her fingernails slowly grazed up and down your upper arm, and your head went up and down with her chest as she breathed. You turned up and kissed her, more passionately than you had been lately.
"Good morning," you mumbled, your forehead against hers.
"Morning, love. Nothing to do today. No work," she rejoiced. "How're you?"
"Fine. Uh, I've been thinking. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you—"
"Honey, what's up?" she interrupted. JJ knew if you got into an apology hole you'd never dig yourself out.
"I...I think I want to keep the baby." JJ slowly kissed the top of your head as she took it in. She nodded and held you a little tighter.
"Okay, pretty girl." Her simple words meant the world to you.
"I just, I know Levi's awful, believe me, but I want—"
"Shh, you don't have to defend your choice to me, Y/N. I told you I would support you in whatever decision you make, and if this is your decision, then I'm gonna be here for you, love."
She kissed your head and you felt like crying, for some reason. You were awfully overwhelmed. You buried yourself in her, and she tightened her arm around you and said, "Aw, honey, I've got you, it's okay..."
"I—he's so terrible, but I want...I want to have this child, I do...I don't know if that makes sense. I love the baby. I don't love him," you cried.
JJ rubbed your upper back and half-whispered, "I know. Let it out, love, I'm here. You're okay."
It took you a minute to calm down, but once you had, you laid under the blanket in JJ's arms, feeling safe and lucky. How did you end up with someone so perfect?
"I love you," you managed to say in a very small voice.
"I love you too, Y/N, my pretty girl." Her words of affection only made you more emotional. You couldn't help but sob as JJ hugged you to her chest. "Oh, my love, it's okay,"
"Sorry," you sobbed. You were guilty over always crying in her arms. JJ made sure you knew that everything was fine.
"No, love, just let it all out, I'm here..." She kissed your head and held you. "My pretty girl,"
"JJ,"
"Shh, shh..."
You cried until you felt like you couldn't anymore. "Sorry," you muttered, "I'm—I'm just emotional, sorry,"
"No apologies. Mm-mm,"
"Okay," you whispered. "Hey, I...I'm, uh, I'm finally accepting it, at least." That sounded sadder than you intended. "Like, I can talk about it now without fucking hating myself,"
"That's good. That's improvement," JJ praised. "I'm glad you're starting to feel better about it. I'm really proud of you,"
"I love you,"
"I love you too."
You looked up and kissed her, apprehensively slipping your tongue in her mouth. JJ was taken by surprise, but definitely not against it. She moved her hand down your side and onto your belly. Finally, she pulled your mouths from one another, and breathed, "My good girl,"
"I—um, I—" You were flustered, and JJ took the time to reassure you.
"No, we're not gonna do anything more, love." She looked in your eyes to gauge your response. "Are you okay with, with what we did? You comfortable?"
"Mhm, um, yeah, I just don't, I don't wanna keep going, I...I wanna stop," you said in a small voice, tears burning in your eyes.
"Then we'll stop, honey. It's no problem. I'd never do anything you didn't feel comfortable doing, anything you didn't want. Do you trust me?"
"Yeah," you murmured, "I trust you, Jay,"
"Good. I'm glad you feel like you can trust me. I'm in love with you. Really. I love everything about you, my girl,"
"Stop, or I'll start crying again," you chuckled. "I love you too, JJ. You're so patient, and you're—you're just perfect, baby. Sorry, I'm so not good at this..." You tried to laugh. JJ smiled and kissed you.
"You're nothing but perfect, love." Her hand rested on your belly. She could tell your mind was wandering, the look on your face was a familiar one of anxiety. "Hey. I'm gonna do all of this with you."
"I know," you said, nodding. You finally met her eyes. "Everything's gonna be fine, right?"
"Yeah. Everything's fine. Let's go have something to eat, pretty girl."