"Daniyal aap pareshan hain?" Ammi asked worriedly as I was quiet since I came back from the radio station.
(Daniyal is something bothering you?)
"No Ammi. I'm fine" Without looking up, I replied and refilled my plate with hot rice.
"Daniyal look at your eyes, look at these dark circles, how careless you're for yourself." Baba came out with disappointment and I smiled.
A well pretended smile
"Ammi, Baba, I'm not a small boy. Stop worrying about me." I tried my best to hide what I was hiding from this world but my parents are more stubborn than me.
"Daniyal, beta kuch to bataiye" I smiled at my mother's question. I know how to handle her.
(Daniyal tell me)
"Food is delicious. You're the best cook of this world"
Ammi sigh as so baba, they both already knew if I decided to do something then none can change my mind, so they both exchange their looks and left that topic.
"Khatija" Baba call Ammi in a slow tone. Something serious is on the way.
Most of the time this tone of Baba blasts a bomb. They both were talking with their eyes and then Ammi nodded before looking at me.
"What happened?" I asked the simplest question.
"Aap ke liye ek ladki pasand kari hai humne, ek baar aap photo dekh lijiye... Agar achhi lage to..." Ammi left the sentence in between and I place down the spoonful of rice which was in the way to my mouth.
(We have chosen a girl for you, once see her pic, if you like...)
"Ammi is topic ko baar baar kyu nikalti hain Aap?"
(Ammi why do you bring this topic over and over?)
"Daniyal you're going to turn thirty in few days. We're worried about you" Baba removed his specs, he was worried for me.
"Aap ko koi ladki pasand ho to aap Bata dijiye... Hume koi aetraaz nahi hoga. Bas aap khush rahiye." Ammi asked me the same question which I wanted her to ask a few years back.
(Do you like any girl? If yes then we'll not mind. We just want you to be happy)
"You want to see me happy?" I questioned and Ammi nodded with curiosity to know what could she do. "Then cook something sweet for me... You know na, food is my love as well as happiness." I laughed in the end and scoot to my room leaving my parents in dilemma.
Locking the door behind me I drag the chair of the study table and refill my fountain pen before picking the letter pad.
Dear Adeena,
Do you know?
The words of confession that came out from your lips are still stirring my emotions. Those words trapped me in an imaginary world, from where, now I can't get out. In fact, I don't want to be free! Sometimes I wanna shout out about my loneliness, silence and my helplessness. Do you even know Adeena, my hopeless eyes go off-limits to find out your single glimpse but you're hidden somewhere, just like the moon hid himself under the blanket of dark clouds. I want you to be with me forever, even I want you to be with me when I'll be savouring the pain of the last breath of my life. That will be one-time pain and death but for now, I'm living this pain every day, my life without you seems empty.
I wish I could show you, my love, at the right time...
I wish we could have some more time together to make everything fine...
I wish I could reverse the time...
I wish I could fulfil these wishes...
Yours and only yours
Daniyal.
Folding the letter I sealed that in a white envelope before placing that with numerous others.
Adeena was gone long back but took my heart and soul away. Now, this Daniyal Kazmi is a dummy in front of this world. Today when Shifa read that couplet my heart forgot the present time, those words took me back to my past.
Naa Jaane kab se mujhe intezaar hai us ka,
Jo keh gaya tha mera intezaar mat karna.
(I don't know how long I've been waiting for that one,
Who told me not to wait for.)
A few friends of mine who knew about me and Adeena, tried to cheer me to forget my past but, is this so easy to forget an important part of life? I wanted to drink the moments of togetherness with her, but the unpredictable life turned everything upside down.
I could spend the rest of my life with Adeena's memories. Her enthusiastic escapade. Determined mulishness. Silly mistakes. Fake anger and offhandedness. Religious thoughts. Helping nature. Soft heart. Divine soul. Selflessness and loyalty!
I couldn't stop to put her qualities. I just wanted
to think about her all day and night but I couldn't... and I shouldn't!!
It's morally wrong to think about someone else wife...
I don't have any right on her, she snatched away all the rights from me, but she still owns all the rights over me and my heart.
I should stop thinking about her, but I couldn't, so to get out from the world of thought of Adeena I started doing my usual work.
Instagram scrolling...
I wasn't a fan of surfing the web pages but to kill some time it's the best option. Logging in to my official account of RJ Deni, I started scrolling.
Hello
A pop-up message appeared on my screen and I rolled my eyes. I was happy with my personal account with a few friends and family members, but all the RJ(s) must maintain an account to attract more listeners. This is the reason I hate to serve in other's firms or businesses, we have to obey their orders irrespective of our choice. And if it comes business... It bound a man in the chains of profit and loss.
I want to do whatever I love, not to make money but to make memories and experiences, but Baba always criticizes me for this mindset. He wants me to be caged just like he was... I earn as much as needed to survive, even more than survival. I'm very unpredictable as well as unstable! My choice likes and dislikes change rapidly. Sometimes I do like to write, sometimes this RJ job, sometimes photography, sometimes advertising and many more... How could I commit to a single profession when my interests shift from one field to another with every changing season?
I have a flipping as well as a bipolar personality. My choice changes rapidly but Adeena was an exception.
Hello RJ Deni, please reply
I'm a big fan of yours.
Again a pop-up message! I was tired of this @_miss_cuttie_princess_
I was ignoring her for the last ten days. Couldn't she understand if a guy is not replying it means he doesn't want to talk! I hate girls! They are so cheap and clingy! Why only boys are notorious to be flirt? Girls are also not in the back seat!
RJ Deni, please reply
Plz. Plz. Plz...
I couldn't even block her as she was my follower, and eventually, I didn't want to show a rude image of me to my listeners. But I like to stay away from girls!
Why are you not even accepting my messages? I'm a crazy fan of yours. One shouldn't be so arrogant.
Enough! I coul handle it anymore.
Hello SISTER
After all, I replied to her messages.
Sister?? Really??
That was her first response! What did she want? Should I call her dear instead?
Do you have any problem with this word? Sister.
I smirked, I hate these flirty girls.
Are you single?
Why she was interested in my relationship status?
What's your good intention behind this question, Sister? I text her and laid back
Just asking! Btw, am a crazy fan of u & RJ khushi. You both are amazing! 🤩 I wanna meet you both.
I just send a smiley in reply but again her message.
Ughhh... I shouldn't accept the request of this girl.
Please talk to me, I wanna talk to you.
Sister, it's very late, you should sleep now. And in an addition, I'm not free to talk to you, please find out anyone else for this work. I answered back in my rude style. It was more than enough for me. Nevertheless, she texted me again,
I'm unable to sleep, that's why I wanna talk to you. You can't be...
Leaving reading the message in between I blinked twice to make sure I had read correctly. What the hell? Was I supposed to sang a lullaby for her? I didn't wanna talk to a clingy girl. After that, She kept messaging me and I was ignoring her.
All girls are the same. Cheap and clingy.
But wait... Adeena was different! She knew her limits!
Stop it Daniyal! I scolded myself and started to read the book, but my mobile again disturbed me.
I was ready to block that girl but this time a smile crept to my lips. It was a new follower, none else but @rj_khushiiii. Without wasting much time I gave her a follow-back.
Assalamualikum sir.
I need your help.
My smile flew away! Was there any problem? It was midnight and Shifa needed help.
Walekum.a.s, Is everything fine?
Soon I received her text
Yeah sir, all good, sorry to disturb you at this time but...
Please tell me the meaning of that couplet.
Please please please 🙏
What is she talking about? I was confused. I simply asked her what she wanna say and the reply made me chuckle.
Oh my Allah... Shia was thinking about the couplet which I spoke, only to make her confused! Really?
She was up for that only? This girl is mad! Or maybe innocent... It's impossible to explain that couplet in words, one need emotions to understand that. And I was in no mood to explain it to Shifa.
Sir please, I asked my brother too,
But he also didn't help me.
I was grinning like a fool, the poor girl was thinking about those random lines! I told those lines just to make her confused, and she succeeded me.
That's your homework, I'm not telling you
Controlling myself to laugh, I replied
I've never taken my assignments so seriously but I'm thinking about this seriously.
I was laughing at her condition but I was enjoying that. Is she innocent or an idiot? I think she's an innocent idiot with a kind heart and moderate clever mind.
Sir, please. Explain it to me.
She again text me and I smiled. Let's draw out some more fun
Okay, I'll explain it to you. Only if you'll be able to explain the deep meaning of this couplet.
Tumne Dekha hai sirf aakho ko
Tumne Nakhon main nahi Dekha
(You've seen my eyes,
You haven't seen in my eyes)
I text her while laughing, I only had one intention, to confuse her. This couplet didn't have any deep meaning so how will she explain it to me.
Oh, God! Such a devil I'm. I'm troubling her intentionally, but it's funny how she is taking my every couplet so seriously.
Sir, it's very simple. I got her text
Shifa, I'm not talking about literal meaning but its explanation. Think about it deeply.
Okay now enough to make this poor girl fool, but I was imagining her confused face when she make two or three caresses on her forehead. It's enjoyable!
I was asking the meaning of one and you have given me one more!
Poor girl! I only sent her a few emojis in reply, and again the pop-up message made my blood boil.
Shifa do you get any kind of weird messages from your followers? And if yes, how do you handle them? I asked
Yeah, Sir I also face problems many times but it's simple, ignore them. Block them or restrict their account. Just it.
I think I've taken a lot of your precious time. I'm sorry for that.
Allah Hafiz.
A genuine smile occupied my lips. I wanted to talk to her more to pass my time but she is definitely different from other girls.
Allah Hafiz, good night
And don't forget to do your homework.
On one hand, I wished her goodnight on him another hand I gave her a task that will take away her slumber.
I didn't know why I was feeling to do something mischievous.
••••••••••••••••••
"Umm... Shifa What are you doing with these Urdu books? As far as I know, your Urdu is as good as Nargis Fakhri's Hindi" Afifa whispered when found her best friend ie me, in the library. In between the piles of books, I was searching for the explanation of those two lines but unfortunately couldn't.
"I've to explain something to Deni sir" I replied in a mumble without lifting my eyes from the book and Afifa huffed.
"Idiot, use Google." why does this girl consider me a fool? I had already searched on different websites but there was no explanation for this couplet.
"There is nothing on Google related to that" Completely forgetting that I was in the library, I informed Afffo angrily, as a result, I got a glare from the librarian.
Ughh... Why everything wrong happens to me?
"If something's not on Google then it doesn't exist. Okay?" Afifa shrugged like a smart girl, I glare at her and picked my mobile to search Afifa the mad on Google.
"See... You're not available on google but you exist" I rolled my eyes
"But Why does Miss Shifa want to search this? Yaar focuses on your textbooks instead of these Urdu books. You don't even know how to read Urdu properly" Afifa sat down beside me with this question and I sighed.
"I have to show Deni sir that I can do anything, I wanna prove myself," I replied honestly. And Afifa gains a big mischievous grin on her face. I was sure something was cooking in her head.
"Ahem..." She fake clear her throat "Someone is trying to impress RJ Deni"
Crap...
"Are you mad? I'm not trying to impress him, I just want him to admire my efforts and intelligence" I tried to glare at her but I was practically explaining myself.
"Yeah... And this is called impressing someone." She muttered and I thought about that. Am I trying to impress him? Umm... Actually yes.
"Umm... Fine, but only professionally" I sighed and Afifa pulled my cheek.
Ughhhhhh... I could kill her for this! My cheeks are not public property, it's my asset and I could not let anyone touch them. But who cares? They all pull my cheeks.
"Your and RJ Deni's couple will be perfect!"
"Affo please, I'm not in the mood to argue with you about this matter." my mood was already spoiled. First, the explanation of those couplets was nowhere moreover Afifa's cheek pulling.
I could tolerate leg-pulling but not cheek pulling.
"Arrange these books on the shelf. I'm going. There is a meeting today so I have to reach the radio station As soon as possible" I stood up and pack my bag.
"Hey see there. Kabeer and Malik are watching us" Afifa whispered and I noticed Kabeer along with his friends
"Ignore them. I already have many problems in my life so I don't want to increase one by thinking about him" Telling Afifa I shrugged my bag on my right shoulder and check the time on my mobile. "Bye Affo. I have to write script too." I mumbled while turning back but her voice stopped me.
"Shifa, sometimes I feel afraid. What will happen if Uncle and aunty get to know about your lie?"
This fear never let me sleep peacefully. But I took a deep breath.
"One day I'll have to face this. I'm ready. I'm not afraid of Papa, what will he do at most? Stop me to do this job... Or in a very rare case maybe he will slap me... Which is almost impossible. But I'm afraid about mummy's reaction. I don't want to break her trust" Sharing my feelings with Afifa, I stepped to the exit of the University.
•••••••••••••••••••••••
No author's note for today...
I'm not in the mood to write.
😴😴😴😴
Good night