The weather was nice, for a winter day. Emma sat on one of the low walls around the courtyard, fiddling with her wand. Her eyes were trained on the castle doors, as she waited for her friends to emerge. She set the wand down next to her and pulled the elastic band out of her hair to re-braid it.
When she was done, she patted the wall next to her to pick her wand back up – only it wasn't there. Finally tearing her eyes off the castle entrance, she looked down. No wand. She jumped to her feet, scanning the ground around her, but her wand seemed to have disappeared into thin air.
"Looking for this?"
She spun around at the sound of the voice. Black and his friends stood in the middle of the courtyard, grinning at her. He flicked a wand up and down in his hand – her wand.
Oh, shit.
"Not so tough without a wand, are you, Moore?"
"That's mine! Give it back!"
"Give it back?" Black echoed. "Now, what would be the fun in that?"
Her knees trembled. She tried to stay calm, but in all honesty, she felt naked without that wand. Vulnerable. Her hands balled to fists, as she racked her brain for something, anything, that she could do.
"Give it back!" came another voice from her left. Her heart leapt when she saw Severus coming to her rescue, his wand already drawn and a murderous look on his face.
Black laughed, nudging Potter to do the same. "And what are you going to do about it, Snivellus?"
The other students in the courtyard moved back, creating a circle around them. Excitement buzzed through them in anticipation of a fight.
Severus was the first to fire, but Black parried it easily. "Give it back," Severus growled again.
"You'll pay for that," said Black, a smirk on his face.
The four boys quickly had him surrounded, forcing him to swivel his head around to keep an eye on all of them equally.
"Come on, Severus," Emma whispered. "You've been practicing so much. You can do it."
Just as Black jumped forward, Severus cast her spell, a sphere of semi-translucent white light forming a shield around him. It was stunning. Black's spell ricocheted off it. Emma couldn't stop a laugh from bubbling up her throat as the four boys stood there, gaping at the new magic.
Suddenly, someone shouted, "Professors coming!" and within seconds, the crowd scattered. Black threw her wand to the ground in anger and turned to leave, his friends right behind him. Severus picked it up, letting the shield evaporate, just as McGonagall stepped into the courtyard.
"What's going on here?" she barked as the students hastened inside.
"Nothing," said Severus as he passed the wand back to a beaming Emma. "Just practicing."
By the time Emma stood in front of his office, she was out of breath and sceptical. It made no sense. If Severus had wanted to talk to her, he would've come and found her himself. Charity was wrong.
Then again, what did she have to lose? She was already here now, and judging by how fast she ran down to find him, she was even more eager to talk to him than she'd realised.
Before she could change her mind again, she raised her hand and knocked three times. When no response came, she knocked again. "Severus? Are you there?"
Two seconds later, the door swung open, revealing a frowning Severus. "What are you doing here?"
Emma swallowed the nerves away. "Er... Charity said that... That you were looking for me?"
His brows furrowed. "I haven't spoken with Charity today."
Her stomach turned. "Yeah, I... I was afraid she might've made that up," she muttered. "Listen, before you slam that door in my face, which you have every right to, by the way, can I just..." She took a deep breath. "I want to apologise."
She wondered what he was thinking, but she was afraid to look up. Afraid to see that judgemental, angry look on his face. Afraid he'd hate her, and that he wasn't ready to forgive her.
"You're... You're apologising to me?"
Emma couldn't discern the emotion in his voice, although the lack of anger encouraged her to continue. "I know you wouldn't hurt my aunt. I shouldn't have said otherwise, that was... quite horrible of me."
She fiddled with the tip of her braid, but still couldn't summon the courage to look up at him. When he moved, she flinched, but all he did was step aside to let her in. She let out a quiet sigh of relief as she stepped into his office.
"You're not just saying this because of tomorrow, are you?" he said as he closed the door behind her.
"Tomorrow?" She turned to face him, knotting her eyebrows in confusion. "What's tomorrow?"
The corners of his lips tugged upwards. "I'll take that as a no." He gestured for her to sit down, before adding, "Did you really think I would hurt your aunt? Don't you trust me?"
"I do trust you, it's just... When I heard that it was that spell, I got scared. I knew it was your spell, I was there when you created it, and it just... It just..."
Emma had no idea how to finish that sentence. Luckily, Severus interrupted her.
"Yes... I wonder if your ex knew about that."
Emma chuckled. "I don't think he did. I never talked to him about you."
"You didn't?"
"No, it... It hurt too much. You know?"
Severus nodded slowly. "Yes, I can see that." He turned and cleared some of the scrolls from his desk. "Well, since you're apologising, would you do me a favour?"
"Yeah, of course!" Emma sat up straight. "What do you need?"
"I need you to not make any plans for this Saturday. You know, because of tomorrow."
"I don't understand... What's tomorrow?"
A grin spread across his face. "You really don't realise what today's date is, do you?"
"It's the second," said Emma, shaking her head in confusion.
"Of?"
"December... Oh! Shit, it's my birthday tomorrow!"
"Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise, Emma."
"I don't like surprises."
Severus shot her a sideways grin, as they walked down the path across the Hogwarts grounds. "You'll have to make an exception today."
Emma scoffed. "Will you please just tell me where we're going?"
"You'll see soon enough." With a swish of his wand, the Hogwarts gates swung open to let them through. As it shut behind them, he held out his hand.
She looked from him down to his hand and back up. "Apparition? Is that really –" Her head shot to the right. She scanned the distance, but only the first line of dark trees of the Forbidden Forest were visible.
"What is it?"
"I thought I heard something." She shook her head. "Is apparition really necessary?"
"It is if you want your birthday present."
"Well, maybe I don't want it."
Severus let out a deep, rumbling chuckle, before pulling her in and wrapping his arms around her. "Please don't think I was giving you a choice," he whispered before whisking them away.
When they arrived at their destination, Emma couldn't find it in her to move just yet. It was Severus who stepped back to let go of her, which felt like an instant loss. He looked down with a worried look on his face. "Are you alright?"
"Yes! Yeah, just a little travelsick." Liar.
"Sorry. We're here."
Severus looked up and Emma followed his gaze. They were standing on a beach, a weak December sun high in the sky and seagulls squawking all around. It was only a small stretch of beach, surrounded on all sides by rock, like their own private little cove.
"Severus... Why are we on a beach?"
"You don't recognise it? Look closer."
At those words, it began to dawn on her. "Have we been here before?"
He stared across the water, smile tugging at his lips. "Indeed we have. Do you remember when?"
Emma glanced around again, as the memories started to resurface. She made her way to the rocks nearest to the water. There was a little depression between the rocks, a basin, that was filled with beautiful shells and conches. They were dragged in by the high tide, only to get trapped there.
"My aunt took us here," she said softly. "In the summer after fifth year. We spent hours looking for the best seashells, while Aunt April got herself a tan." She chuckled. She remembered the words she and Severus had said to one another as they brought him home that evening. "Best summer ever."
"Best summer ever," he concurred, light dancing in his black irises.
Emma climbed over the stones to a nearby flat bit of rock. She sat down and stared out across the water, enjoying the cold, salty breeze on her cheeks and the sound of the waves rolling on and off the beach. Severus soon followed suit.
"I don't think I quite appreciated back then just how beautiful it is here. I can see why Aunt April chose this place."
Severus nodded. "Or perhaps she simply wanted a tan."
Emma chuckled. "For such an active woman, she really did like to sunbathe." She sighed, lowering her head onto his shoulder. "I really miss her, Severus."
"I know. She was..."
A short silence followed. Just when Emma wanted to ask if he was going to finish that sentence, he yanked her aside. Something zoomed past her shoulder, hissing in her ear as it shot by. She fell forward, her knee scraping the edged rock, but his arm around her waist stopped her from smashing her head into the stones. The sudden movement sent her heart racing.
"Severus, what –"
She turned to see him aim his wand behind them, a huge, white, semi-translucent shield surrounding them. As she watched, something crashed into it, like a green rocket, exploding just in front of their eyes.
"We need to leave." His voice was low, as he peered into the distance.
"What's going on, Severus?" Emma pulled her wand out and kept low. As long as she stayed behind him, everything would be okay. Everything would be fine. Oh God, we're under attack.
Another burst of light collided with the shield, shattering into a hundred rays of light in all different directions.
"You need to apparate us home, while I keep the shield up. Can you do that?"
Emma swallowed hard, then nodded. "Yes. Yes, I can. But you need to pull your arm in, or you'll get Splinched. You'll lose it."
"Right. On three, are you ready?"
She pulled him against her a little closer. "Ready." Hogwarts. Think of Hogwarts.
"One."
The gates. Rusty metal. White wall stretching into the distance.
"Two."
The forest. An extension of the Forbidden Forest, rows and rows of trees stretching all around.
"Three!"
Fuck, I hate apparition!
Emma closed her eyes as Severus pulled his arm in, lifting the shield. At the same moment, something tugged at her navel and whisked them away. She held on to Severus as tightly as she could.
When they arrived, she stumbled to the ground, Severus landing on his back next to her. He jumped up immediately, lighting up the tip of his wand to scan the area.
"We're safe here, aren't we?" Emma scrambled to her feet, wiping her hair out of her face.
"I think so. Are you alright?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. You?"
He nodded. "Open the gate. Let's get inside."
Severus kept his eyes peeled until the moment the gates slammed shut again. Even then, he wouldn't put his wand away.
"Are we safe now?"
"Yes," said Severus. "They can't get into Hogwarts unauthorized. No one can."
Side by side, they strolled back towards the castle. Emma's head spun. She stuffed her hands in her pockets to stop them from trembling. Her knee stung from where she hit the rocks. She was fairly certain it bled underneath her robes.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
She let out a trembling breath. "Yeah. I don't know. I'm a healer, I don't do well with fighting. I just... I need to sit down. Can we...?" She gestured towards the Black Lake, which lay so still and calm you'd almost forget it housed a giant squid.
"Of course." With his hand on the small of her back, he led her through the shrubs, to the little hidden-away clearing right next to the lake where they always used to go.
He sighed as they sat down on a log, pulling a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Emma. Your birthday, I... It's all ruined."
"It's not your fault."
Staring down at his hands, he whispered, "What if it is?"
She turned her head to look at him. "What are you talking about?" When he stayed silent, she pressed, "Severus, do you know who that was?"
"I might," he said, still refusing to look at her.
"Well, who?"
"I think..." He glanced at her, then stared down at the ground again. She couldn't help but notice the dark hesitation in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Emma. I think it may have been a Death Eater."
Her jaw dropped. "I don't understand. You're –" She cut herself off, glancing over her shoulder to make sure nobody could hear them. Lowering her voice, she continued, "Why would they attack one of their own?"
He shuffled on the log, moving a little further away from her. "Because some of them don't believe that I am still one of them. They don't trust me anymore, because I'm here."
Emma gulped as she let his words sink in. "I've asked you before how it's possible that you're here, when you're... You wouldn't answer. Will you tell me now?"
He nodded, but stayed quiet.
"Please?" she prompted him.
He sighed heavily. "Just before Lily... passed away, Dumbledore asked me to join him. To spy on the Dark Lord for him. I agreed, because..."
He didn't finish his sentence, but he didn't need to. Because of Lily. He would have done anything to save her, she didn't doubt that for a second. "So you've been on Dumbledore's side this whole time?"
"There's... more to it than that. Dumbledore knew that it was only a matter of time before he'd find out what I was doing."
Emma's stomach knotted. He was right. If You-Know-Who found out that one of his Death Eaters was spying on him... Severus would die a most painful death.
"So he came up with this... elaborate plan," he continued. "I told the Dark Lord that I had a way in at Hogwarts. That I could spy on Dumbledore for him."
Emma paled as his words settled in her brain. He was spying for both sides. That's how he could be at Hogwarts as a Death Eater; You-Know-Who thought he was there gathering information on Dumbledore and his plans. It was the most dangerous role to fulfil in a war. One little error and he'd be killed. She swallowed the upcoming bile down. "That sounds... complicated. Who are you really spying for then?"
A dark chuckle rumbled through his chest. "Both of them. At this point I'm simply trying to survive. But with the Dark Lord gone, of course, there is no spying to be done."
It wasn't an answer. It worried her. Was he being vague and ambiguous because he didn't really know whose side he was on? Or because he didn't want her to know?
No, she told herself, I trust him. He's on Dumbledore's side. All these years he's risked his life to tip the war in his favour. It's not fair to doubt him now.
"The Dark Lord trusted me up until the moment he disappeared, but there are those, followers of his, whose trust I never truly regained."
"And you think that they're the ones who attacked us?"
Severus nodded his head once. "My home is almost as well-defended as Hogwarts is. They can't get to me at home and they can't get to me at work. Today was the first time in a long time that I went somewhere else. I believe they saw their opportunity and took it."
Emma frowned. There was a hole in his reasoning. "We went to Hogsmeade together not long ago."
"Hogsmeade is so close to Hogwarts, it'd be an easy escape for me. I wouldn't even need to apparate. They wouldn't try it there."
"You really think it was them? But... how did they find us?"
"That I don't know."
They sat in silence for a while, staring out across the lake as they both got lost in their own thoughts. It's not fair to doubt him. He's a good man, Emma kept thinking. The more she thought about it, the more convinced of this she became. He was risking his life to thwart the darkest wizard that ever existed. Whatever he'd done before, he was a good man now.
As she glanced aside, watching the worry lines etched deep into his face, she couldn't be more proud of her best friend. He truly had turned his life around. And without her help, no less.
"You-Know-Who is gone, but you're still here with Dumbledore. Does that mean he'll return?"
"Someday," he said slowly. "Perhaps. If he does, we're ready."
Her breath caught in her throat. He'd put himself right back into danger again. All to make the world a better place. Just like Aunt April.
"I want to help," she blurted out.
He turned to look at her. "What?"
"You and Dumbledore. I bet there's more of you, right? What, is the Order of the Phoenix still together? I want to join."
Within seconds, his face turned from surprise to fear and finally to an angry scowl. "Have you gone mad? This isn't a joke, Emma, it's dangerous. It's war."
"I know that. I want to help. You're in danger all the time and I want to help keep you safe." She lay her hand on his. "I can't lose you too, Severus."
Something flashed in his eyes, before the anger took over again. He ripped his hand away. "Don't be ridiculous. You don't even know how to fight. You just told me that yourself."
"I can learn." She smiled up at him. "This is not your decision to make, Severus."
"No." Severus leapt to his feet, towering over her. "This is the stupidest idea you've ever had. I will not let you put yourself in danger like that, do you understand? I will not have it!"
Her heart bled at the fear in his eyes. She reached out and gently pulled him back down by his arm. "Okay," she said, as he buried his face in his hands. "Alright." We'll talk about this later.