Author's POV
While the both of them are having their bestest of lives, someone's suffering or should I say, hurting? Yeah, someone's hurting, watching them being sweet and all to each other but he's not crying, he's smiling. He's smiling to at least ease the pain he was feeling through all the year he was pretending.
It was as if his heart's been broke a million times, or a billion times every time he sees the two being content with each other, every time he sees that he is happy in the arms of him, it pained him. But what can he do? Isn't it his own fault? Wasn't he the one who gave up first? The one who didn't fight, and now, he is the one who's suffering.
He thought that he's all healed all the time, he thought that he don't love him anymore but his thoughts are all false, he's just saying those things to forget him, to move forward but he can't. No, he can, he just don't want to.
They say that if u love someone, you're willing to sacrifice even ur life right? That you're willing to give up everything, you're willing to let go of them if they want to? If seeing them with someone that makes them the happiest makes u happy? But he didn't felt all of that, Should I consider that he doesn't love him at all? Because he's kind of selfish? No, because he loved him, he still do and he will do no matter what happens, it's just that he's the type of person who doesn't want to give what he have at all, he's not selfish but if it's him, he can be, he will be. He just wants to be with him forever, just like before.
I know that u have so many questions right now but I think there's this one thing that makes u confuse at all.
Why did he gave up? It's for him, it's for his Seon. He just wanted all the good things for Sunoo, he just wanted him to be happy.
Sunoo's not happy, before. But now, he's the happiest man alive, and that hurts so fucking much.
If he can only turn back the time, he will, he will fight for him, he will never give up, he will hold onto him, tighter but he can't. It all happened na, he can't do anything but to try and try until he move on, but I think he can't, he can pretend but he can't forget, he can't just unlove him, he don't want to.
As he was staring at the sun setting and at the two, he suddenly wants to cry. But no, he don't want to be weak, it's been a year na and he still hasn't changed. He's still the same Seong, the Seong Sunoo loved before.
(Teka lang tangina nano-nose bleed na'ko dito)
And there, he can't control his emotions anymore and the tears rolls down his beautiful face as he's seeing the two kissing so sweetly under the sunset. It's not like it's the first time seeing them like this but it really hurts (👉👈/j)
He's trying to let go all the pain he endured through out the year.
"Jay?" someone suddenly called him making him to wipe away the tears and then he suddenly smiled, the forced one. Stop crying you weakshit isip nya habang pilit pinupunasan ang mga luha ngunit wala itong saysay dahil kada punas nya, babagsak lang ulit ang mga panibago pang luha.
"Umiiyak ka ba? Hala bat ka umiiyak Jay?!?" si Jake pala yung tumawag sa kanya na ngayon ay nasa harapan na nya at pinupunasan ang kanyang mga luha. (Tangina teh naiiyak ako😭)
Nang yakapin sya ng isa ay mas lalo pa syang umiyak.
"Huy tangina bat ka naiyak? Wag kang umiyak ang pangit mo pag naiyak ka!" aniya, sinusubukang patigilin ang isa ngunit 'di sya nagtagumpay. Lalo lang kasing naalala ni Jay si Sunoo.
Flashback
"Seong? Bat ganyan muka mo? May problema kaba?" Tanong ni Sunoo sa kasintahang kanina pang nakatulala at nakatitig sa pader.
"Seong?? Seong!" pumunta na sya ngayon sa harap nito. Umupo sya at nilagay ang mga kamay sa pisngi ng binata.
"Bat ka umiiyak? Wag ka ng umiyak! Pangit mo kaya pag naiyak ka" pagbibiro nya upang patigilin sa pag-iyak ang isa at gumana naman iyon.
Napangiti si Jay sabay niyakap ang kasintahan at doon sya umiyak sa kanyang balikat.
"Sabihin mo sakin lahat. Kung problema ba yan o ano, makikinig ako." ani Sunoo na lalong nagpaiyak sa kanya. Ang swerte nya, ang swerte nila sa isa't-isa.
"Si Tobi kase Seon, namatay na" aniya na nagpagulat kay Sunoo.
"Ha!? Pano? Nandito lang 'yon kahapon kasama natin 'diba?"
"Hindi ko din alam Seon, kaninang umaga kasi hindi na sya nagising" habang sumisinok pa ay nakayanan nyang sabihin ang mga yan.
"Shh, it's okay. Sa palagay ko naman 'di na sya mahihirapan, medyo matanda na din si Tobi eh" pagpapagaan nya ng loob at unti-unti ay tumigil na sya sa pag-iyak.
Si tobi kasi ang family dog nila Jay, apaka sigla pa nito kahapon pero bigla nalang namatay kaninang umaga, Di din sya makapaniwala kaya ganon nalang sya maka react ng malaman ito.
End of flashback
"Ba't ka naiyak Jay? May problema kaba? Pwede mo namang sabihin sa'kin. Kaibigan naman kita eh kahit bobo ka" ani Jake at hindi naman nag-react ang isa at nagpatuloy lang sa pag-iyak.
"Hoy! Magsalita ka. Pano ba kita maiintindihan kung parang napipe ka na dyan" ani nito at kumalas sa yakap.
"May na-alala lang ako. Wala toh ano kaba haha" aniya sabay punas sa mga luha.
"Talaga ba? Sure kana dyan? Final na? Parang hindi eh"
"Wala lang toh. Pagod lang siguro"
"Edi magpahinga ka! O kaya mag chill ka naman. Samahan mo don sila Jungwon oh"
"Haha wag na, dito nalang muna ako"
"O sige. kung gusto mong matulog, matulog ka don sa loob, una na 'ko may gagawin pa kami eh" aniya sabay tapik sa balikat nya at lumabas na mula sa balcony.
Napahinga nalang sya ng malalim ng makitang umalis na ang kaibigan. Ibinalik nya din ang kanyang paningin sa dalawa na hanggang ngayon ay puro harutan at ka sweetan ang ginagawa. Wala lang, gusto nya lang talaga saktan sarili nya (/j)
Habang pinagmamasdan ang dalawa ay sa 'di inaasahang pangyayari, biglang nagtama ang kanilang paningin. Nginitian sya ng isa at ngumiti sya pabalik, nginitian nya ito ng pilit kahit masakit, sabay ibinaling ang atensyon sa langit.
"Ang hirap mong hindi mahalin Seon, haha ang sakit." bulong nya sa langit habang nakatingala, pinipigilang tumulo ang mga bagong nagbabadya na luha.
Owwssss. Di pa pala nakakamove on yung isa kala ko moved on na,/j. Last chapter na langgg