chapter 37
To say Seojun's words didn't sting would be a lie.
It was rather that Suho had grown such a hard shell around himself all these years, that tears no longer found it as easy to fall out of his eyes as they used to before.
While his soul was screaming on the inside, tormented by memories of the night Seyeon ended his life, Suho could not manage a single emotion on the outside. It was occasions like these that the boy would wonder if Seojun really was right- that he was a cold-hearted, selfish person who was unable to look beyond his own misery.
Suho knew, if there was anything he really did know, that going home was not an option. He tried. He really did, but the haunting solitude of his place only served to fuel his inner turmoil.
Eventually, the melancholy boy found himself leaning back against the couch at Prince's comics, feeling as hollow as he'd ever felt. He kept his hands clasped tight in front of him to best hold himself together and looked ahead blankly, his gaze unfocused and awash with pain, as if he was set ablaze from the inside.
Suho could not help but remember a similar time in his life at that moment- when he had cried his eyes out over a comic book while sitting on the same couch. Back then, he had been cheered up by a little girl much like himself. The boy couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle while thinking back to the fond memory.
"Lee Suho-"
Suho sat up straight, his head snapping towards the doorway, being startled out of his thoughts by a familiar female voice. However, contrary to his initial expectations, it wasn't her. It wasn't Song Yoon-ah.
The boy was mildly surprised to see Lim Jukyung standing by the door when, in fact, it shouldn't have surprised him at all. Of course, Jukyung and himself hung out at the store often. If not as friends, then as fellow comic book lovers. The reason Yoon-ah knew about it was simply because he hadn't known who else to call when Jukyung had been constantly avoiding him. So, how could he have expected to see the brunette there?
There was a part of him that didn't understand, perplexed by a new feeling stirring within him, a peculiar sensation that he couldn't quite explain. The other part of him tried to be reasonable Perhaps it was due to the guilt teasing in the back of his throat since that morning after he had lashed out at her. Although the boy understood that he needed to apologize, he was not sure how to do so while sounding sincere.
Tearing away his mind from his thoughts, Suho glanced at Lim Jukyung with detached curiosity. "What are you doing here now?"
"I was passing by and saw you inside," Bare-faced Jukyung grinned. Suho felt another, more pronounced flutter go through his heart at the girl's smile. However, he only looked at her with a blank façade as she set down a drink on the table. "Here- drink this."
"I saw Seojun leave earlier," she continued, taking a seat next to him. Suho felt somewhat comforted by the mere presence of the girl; that at least meant he wasn't left all alone with his dark thoughts. "Did you clean up all by yourself? Why did you let him leave?"
"He didn't get detention. His friends did," the boy said plainly, wanting to avoid the painful memories of the evening.
"Really?" Jukyung echoed, frowning. "But he wasn't in class after lunch either. I assumed he was loitering around with his friends, or picking a fight with you. Or in detention, obviously."
Jukyung broke open the snack packet in her hand, nibbling on it with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Why do you both fight like little kids?" she asked, then shook her head. "Never mind. I shouldn't be the one to talk. I fought with my brother not long ago."
When Suho didn't reply, the girl continued speaking. "It wasn't very nice of you to yell at Yoon-ah though," she scolded gently, as though she was trying not to upset him any further. "She was just trying to break up the fight."
Suho turned his gaze upwards. "Was I too harsh?"
"It was just uncalled for," Jukyung said, taking another bite. "But I assumed you apologized to her?"
Suho looked away, making the other girl let out a silent gasp. "What were you waiting for?" she asked. "The last Soojin saw her was in the staff room with you and Seojun."
Suho didn't reply. The fact that both Yoon-ah and Seojun did not attend classes after the little incident with the administration obviously meant that they were together. Somehow, he was reluctant to admit it out loud.
On the other hand, however, Seojun had turned up at the courts earlier on, but not Yoon-ah. Where was she then, if not with the other boy?
Suho frowned, not understanding how he was supposed to process this new piece of information. It was undeniable that Seojun was close to Yoon-ah, it was obvious in the way he looked at her- but the brunette did not seem the type to skip school on a whim. There were many things that didn't add up at that moment, leaving Suho with an unexplainable sting in his chest.
"I don't know what happened, but if you need someone to talk to, just let me know," Jukyung intervened, bringing the boy out of his thoughts. With a start, Suho realized he had been staring at her blankly, lost in his thoughts. The girl smiled at him. "You can vent to me."
The next few moments seemed to fly by in a blur. The next thing Suho knew, he was shooing away the other girl with all the vigor he could muster, his cheeks burning as though they had been set on fire.
"She says whatever she feels like..." he grumbled, fanning himself.
Being in such close proximity to Jukyung made Suho feel unbearably hot. The girl had reached up so close to him, examining his lips while he held the books from falling on her head. The memory made Suho's heart race faster than it already was.
After placing his hand on his chest to calm his thundering heart, Suho left the compound, obviously having checked around to be sure Jukyung was not nearby. Her actions seemed almost passive on her part. It was as if moments like this didn't make a difference to her at all, which Suho wasn't particularly happy about.
"Whatever," he muttered under his breath.
It was not like he was in love with her. True, he had some hints of feelings, but nothing irreversible. Nothing he couldn't bear to endure until it disappeared of its own accord.
Suho grimaced at that thought.
Who was he kidding?
Truth be told, he was head-over-heels in love with the girl who didn't seem to be affected by his presence. In fact, it was obvious she didn't even care for him.
Suho continued slowly home, lost in his thoughts once again, though they were a little lighter this time. For once, he felt no pressing need to hurry. Placing one foot in front of the other suddenly did not seem so difficult, and his home not so lonely after all.
Suho felt his lips turn up at the corners. Jukyung's company may have been of some help to him after all. At the end of the day, if all he was meant to be was her comic book buddy, it didn't seem so devastating after all, knowing it meant he got to spend some time with her.
"How dare you show your face here?!"
Just a block away from his apartment, Suho was startled by the sudden shrill cry of someone crashing through the night. Though the voice had a familiar ring to it, Suho didn't dwell on that fact much, as more horrible thoughts overtook his mind. The voice sounded raw with pain, making the boy run towards it. He feared someone might be in serious trouble, especially at this time of night.
Suho descended the street, only able to discern a figure of a girl in the distance. He couldn't make out her features in the dark, but judging from her smaller stature, she couldn't be older than him. However, she stood across from a taller man, her gait defensive.
"What are you saying, love?" the man spoke up, stepping closer to her. "Is this how you're going to treat me? Me? The one who-"
"That's enough," another voice grunted. Suho noticed another figure stepping out of the shadows, a much older male in a business suit standing up to the other man and forcing him back. "Keep away from her."
The dim glow of the streetlight illuminated the former's face as he was shoved away from the teenager. Suho was surprised to discover the man was much younger than he imagined. In fact, he was barely older than him by a few years.
As the boy considered whether to intrude, the disgruntled male exclaimed something unintelligible, and the girl staggered back from him, almost as though she had been shot in the chest by his words.
"NO! Have you not done enough already?" she yelled, her voice breaking. "Why are you back? Go away!"
"But-"
"You heard her," the older man snapped. "Step away now."
There was a tussle between the two men, but the older gentleman clearly won out, dragging the other man off the street.
Suho watched from the shadows as the street was envoloped into silence once again.
Even though the teen had not spoken for the duration of the time the men had argued, Suho could hear surpressed sniffles sounding from the other side of the street. It was obvious she was still crying as she hurled a bouquet of flowers into the street violently, slumping back against the nearby bench without a word.
In an abrupt turn of events, Suho felt his eyes widen to the size of saucers as a familiar head of brown hair and pale skin came to light under the faint glow of the street lamp.
It took Suho no time at all to recognize her. It's no wonder the voice sounded so familiar to him. It was the same voice he had heard murmuring reassurances to him in his dreams for quite a while.
...for it was none other than Song Yoon-ah.
A/N- I have a chemistry test tomorrow and I am writing this at 12 in the night while I still have quite a bit of topics to revise. My self-control is nonexistent right now smh. Anywhooo I hoped you enjoyed this chap- I had fun writing it:)))