*@ I think this belongs here. There's a little thingy at the end.*
Chapter 4:
Jake's P.O.V
"FELIX, LOOK OUT!" I called out as I watched Felix walk out onto the road without looking. He looked up with a dazed look on his face. My hand quickly launched itself out, grabbing a hold of my gothic boy's wrist, and pulling him toward me. I wrapped my arms around him. The car that he was about to walk into zoomed on past, tooting it's horn at us.
"Holy shit that was close." I wrapped my arms tighter around him, one hand sitting on his head, and the other around his waist. My body shivered slightly at the shock of seeing Felix almost be hit by a car, but I began freaking out more when I turned my gaze to Felix.
Felix's arms just lay limply at his sides. I was confused; I pulled him away from me and placed my hands on his shoulders, shaking him lightly. Is he in shock? Is there anything I can do to wake him up from it?
"Felix— look at me," His eyes refused to come up and meet mine. His body tensed, so I knew I got his attention, but it wasn't fully on me. I growled grabbing a hold of his chin and moving his head so his eyes were connected with mine.
"Why did you do that?" I frowned confused at his question. What does he mean by that? Did he think I wasn't going to grab him?
"Felix, what do you mean? Why did I save you? Is that what you mean?" Felix nodded shyly, his face flushing with embarrassment. Why wouldn't I save him?! That's the human thing to do!
"Yeah— I mean come on, what difference would it of made? It was probably just karma coming back to get me after two years." When those words left Felix's mouth, I just wanted to cry. For a moment, I was lost to what he meant, but then I remembered. His brother's accident.
Was that Felix's fault? Or did he just believe it was his fault? I don't know the actual story behind it, but I knew enough to know that Felix changed after it, and Oscar was bound to a wheelchair.
"Felix, how could you say something like that? I never want to hear you say that again! Oscar accident was not your fault, okay! I just— I don't know what to say, but I will say this. If you ever, even consider doing something like that, I will— I don't know; punish you somehow without killing you, or hurting you for that matter. Okay? You are not ever leaving me." Emotions slammed into my body at the thought of losing Felix, even though I just got him and I shouldn't be acting like but the thought of Felix thinking his life was worth nothing to anyone was something I couldn't handle. Felix looked into my eyes, tears welling up.
"No one has ever said something like to me before." I smiled weakly at him, my emotions still controlling my body.
"That's because I needed to say it first." Felix smiled weakly back at me and it caused my smile to grow. I wish Felix would smile more often. I just wanted to be able to see it more.
"I think I need to get home and sit down." I nodded as we started on our way again, and this time, crossed the road after checking and continued on our way to Felix's house.
So many thoughts were running through my head at the thought of going to Felix's house and not doing anything bad. Was his family going to be home? Do they know I bully him? What about his brother?
But when we got there, the house was empty. I looked around confused; didn't he live here with his parents and his brother? New questions ran through my head as I pondered where his family was and I guess Felix knew what I was thinking.
"They're at the doctor's again." I turned to Felix who had his head in the fridge, his butt sticking out. I bit my lip and resisted the urge to giggle; my mind constantly on the subject of something about Felix's body. It was just so cute, and the reactions I got out of him! I shook my head losing the thought and asked,
"How come?" Felix sighed standing up, turning to face me, a grim look on his face. This wasn't going to be giving me a good answer, will it?
"Ever since Oscar's accident, it's really easy for him to get sick, and so he ends up going to the doctors once or twice a week for a fever. With someone else, it would be fine, but with Oscar— not so much." I sighed, walking over to Felix wrapping him in my arms. I knew things were bad, but I guess I never even considered it to be that bad. I guess that helps to explain why Felix still blames himself as much as he does. His brother's life is always in constant danger, and that would freak anyone out.
"Felix, this really isn't your fault. Sometimes certain things have to happen for everything, which allows everything else to fall into place. Now please, I don't ever want to hear you blaming yourself for an accident, okay?" Felix sighed before looking up to me, pulling from the hug slightly.
"But it is my fault, if I didn't tell him to climb the tree with me, he wouldn't have fallen and then he woul—" I cut him off by placing my lips on his. Felix sighed, giving up his argument and kissing me back. I smiled placing my hands on the smaller boys' hips while he moved up to sit around my neck holding me close. We walked until Felix was pushed against the bench.
"We shouldn't do this here," Felix muttered in between my kisses. I rolled my eyes; I knew he was right, but I honestly couldn't care.
"You're right, but I just don't want to stop." Felix laughed, using his arms to bring me away from him, sitting my body an arm's length from his face, with my hands still on his hips.
"Jake, maybe later okay?" I sighed nodding. I get that Felix isn't used to this, but there's just this part of me that wants Felix all to myself, and I simply want to kiss him, all— the fucking— time. He was just too adorable. I turned my gaze back to the fridge, which Felix was in before, yet he didn't pull anything out. I was a little confused.
"Sure. Were you looking for a drink before?" Felix nodded at me and turned back to the fridge.
"Do you want one?" I nodded pulling away from the gothic boy, letting him access the fridge. I sighed lightly as I leant against the bench as I followed Felix's movements.
"Sure, what do you have?" Felix reopened the fridge, looking through it again. This time, I made sure not to look at his ass— well I tried to. It's just a really cute ass.
"We have Apple juice, Grape juice or milk." I laughed as I sighed at his ass and the weird way his voice sounded from coming inside the fridge.
"I'll just have an apple juice." Felix smiled lightly at me as he came out of the fridge, apple juice in hand. He sat it on the bench as he closed the fridge.
"That's what I'm having." I smiled brightly at him, wondering if I was about to learn one of those silly little things about him, like his favourite drink. I smirked as I asked,
"Is it your favourite?" Felix gave me a fake scolding look as he pulled two glasses out of the cupboard below him.
"No more questions yet— not till we get to my room." I sighed and nodded, as he poured the drinks.
"Of course," I walked over to him as he poured the drinks, standing behind him. I was pretty sure he knew I was there, but I just wanted to hold him. So that's exactly what I did, I wrapped my arms around his waist, sitting my head on his shoulder. "You okay?" I muttered and Felix sighed, nodding placing his head back on my chest,
"I guess. I just— I haven't done anything like this before and I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it, so I don't even understand anything." I frowned before placing my hand over his mouth cutting off his words,
"Felix, I swear if you keep on babbling, I am not going to be able to stop myself from kissing you." This caused Felix to gasp. He turned around in my arms and placed his hands on the back of my neck, one in my hair, the other sitting right below.
He then forced me down to him; I squeaked at his suddenness but smiled at the taste of him. One of my hands moved up to his neck holding it tightly. He smiled right back at me, opening his mouth, allowing me to enter his mouth again. It was just like earlier; perfect— oh god I wished I had never bullied him so I could have this sooner.
"OH MY GOD!" We both jumped apart at the sound of an older man's voice. Felix turned around in my arms to see a man standing there staring at the pair of us.
"Dad— um— we can explain— I think?" I bit my lip trying not to laugh at Felix's nervousness. I pulled away from Felix and walked over to Mr Ferne, holding my hand out for him to shake. This is not how I wanted this meeting to go— frankly, I wanted to hold this off for as long as possible.
"Hi, I'm Jake; I go to school with Felix. I'm sorry we had to meet like that; I would have preferred to meet you on better terms." Mr Ferne relaxed a little, hopefully, that was from how polite I was being.
"Sorry, it just shocked me. It's not every day I see my son kissing another boy— let alone kissing anyone for that matter." I laughed lightly and stared at Felix who was blushing. He saw me staring and blushed even harder before coming over grabbing my hand and began to drag me away.
"Sorry Dad, say hi to Mum and Oscar for me," I laughed at his want to get away and when we just exited the house, I remembered something. I smirked lightly as I muttered the words into his ear, causing him to jump slightly.
"Felix, the drinks—" Felix froze before slapping himself on the head groaning, letting go of my hand as he turned back to the house.
"Oh shit. I'm blaming you," I laughed at him and he frowned at me, a slight glare in his eyes.
"What for?" I asked innocently and Felix's frown grew,
"You made me forget the drinks," I laughed, using the hand that was holding his before, I grabbed him, pulling him close.
"Really Felix— you're playing the blame game?" Felix smiled sweetly at me, pretending that he never dumped the blame on me.
"No—" I laughed at him. I never knew that Felix could act like this. God, sometimes I true do regret my life choices.
"Oh Felix, you're too cute." Felix blushed again and my smirk grew as his smile faded shyly.
"I'm gonna go get those drinks— you just stay— there— now—" I laughed as I watched the boy run off back into the house.
"He's been funny all week you know," I jumped at the voice coming from behind me. I turned to see Felix's Dad. He must have gone out the front door and come up the driveway.
"Oh, Mr Ferne, sorry I didn't see you there." He shrugged at me as if he didn't have a care in the world, but his words confused me.
"Please, just call me Ken," I nodded at him and turned my gaze away, scared to meet his eye.
"I'll remember that— Ken. So what do you mean he's been weird all week?" Ken sighed moving closer to me as if what he was about to tell me was a secret.
"I know it may not seem like Kathy and I care much for Felix anymore because of Oscar, but we do— we really, it's just hard with Oscar being sick all the time. I don't know how much Kathy picks up on, but I know something has been different with him this week. His friend, Ellen, hasn't been coming around, I don't really know anything about that. But now that I saw the two of you, I want to know what's going on between you exactly." I frowned,
"The truth is Ken; neither of us really know what's going on— we haven't really had time to discuss it. We were—" I cut myself off because Felix had returned,
"What are you talking about?" I smiled moving over to him and taking the drinks off of him.
"Nothing you need to worry over. Let's go," Felix nodded, but his eyes never came off his Dad. I smiled at the way Felix stared at his Dad. I then frowned wishing I could stare at my Dad like that, it too bad he is too much of a deadbeat to be a Dad. I shook the thought from my head and followed Felix through the backyard when I grew confused.
"Felix, what are we doing out here?" Felix frowned. From what I thought, we were going to Felix's room.
"We're going to my room— what did you think we were doing?" Okay, now I was really confused,
"Your room is out the back?" Felix nodded, stopping and turning to me,
"There were only two rooms in the house and the bungalow. Oscar used to sleep out here, but after the accident, we swapped. I didn't really care, I was grateful actually because out here, their arguing isn't as loud as it would be in the house." I frowned,
"Oh Felix—" Felix cut me off,
"Don't say anything— let's just go and sit down and play twenty questions again." I nodded, feeling bad for prying,
"Sure, whatever you want." Felix nodded weakly before entering his room. I entered after him, smiling at how much his room represented his personality. There were fake cobwebs and spiders all over the walls, with Gothic posters decorating the walls and part of the roof. There was an electric guitar in the far corner of the room. Sitting next to it was an amp and a double bed, which looked uninhabited for a long time. I frowned,
"You don't sleep?" I don't know why I asked, I just felt like the thought had to be put out there. Felix shook his head,
"No— I just don't sleep in my bed. I normally fall asleep on my couch at about five or six in the morning," I frowned, placing the cups on a small table in front of the couch,
"Felix, why don't you sleep? Twenty questions remember?" Felix sighed before going to sit down on the couch, but I stopped him and dragged him over to the bed, pushing him on it playfully, before sitting myself at the end of the bed, crossing my legs and staring at him. Felix sighed before pulling himself up grabbing a pillow and throwing it to me. I quickly caught it, placing it on my lap.
"So go," Felix sighed at me, but didn't put up a fight and answered the question with an ease.
"I don't sleep because I have nightmares about Oscar's accident. But in the nightmares, Oscar died when he fell, and everyone was claiming that I pushed him out of the tree," I gasped,
"Holy shit Felix! Why haven't you told anyone?" Felix sighed,
"Because they would all react exactly the same as you did or worse even. I don't want that, I just want to be left alone," I frowned and crawled over to where Felix was sitting with his legs crossed, copying the way I was sitting. Felix was staring down at his hands. I quickly grabbed his hands, causing his eyes to follow his hands which I had raised to my lips, pressing a kiss to each of them,
"If you ever think that about me and then tell me and I will change your mind in an instant got it?" Felix nodded. I smiled at him, "Your turn," Felix's eyes widened and stared at me. Felix looked flustered, I let go of his hands, getting up and walking across the room where our drinks sat. I quickly grabbed them walking back over to the bed, and sitting down. I gave Felix his drink, taking a drink from mine and sitting down again.
"Thanks— I don't really know what to ask, so I'm just going to ask, what your favourite food?" I smiled at him.
"I don't know. I have so many foods that I can't pick, but if I had to I would say I am turning into a cannibal and say you." I winked as Felix blushed,
"Jerk," I smiled,
"You know you love it." Felix blushed harder and looked down. I smiled at him,
"But nah, to be serious I would have to say steak and chips." Felix cocked his head at me,
"Seriously?" I nodded,
"Yeah, it really is. I love steak, it's something I have the most often because it's nice and easy." Felix made a face. I couldn't tell if it was a good or a bad one.
"I don't normally eat steak—" he trailed off muttering something under his breath. I sighed,
"What did you just say?" Felix looked to me,
"What?" I sighed, pondering about what was going on inside Felix's mind. I guess it was going to be a bit harder to get to know him aside from twenty questions.
"It's my turn to ask a question, and I asked what did you say?" Felix looked scared and searched around frantically as if looking for a way to get away from me. My eyes widened as he made a run for it, after sitting his cup on the bedside table.
"Shit! Felix, get back here!" I caught him before he made it to the door. I tackled him to the floor, with my arms wrapped around him. I felt his body shaking, so I pulled away and rolled him over to find him sobbing. My eyes widened and I pulled him close,
"Oh shit, Felix what's going on? Was it something I said?" Felix shook his head, wrapping his arms around my neck. I sighed and stood up, walking over to the couch and sitting us down on it. Oh, Felix— what's wrong with you? I closed my eyes and moved my head so it was resting atop of Felix's which was buried in my neck. I tightened my arms around him, I can't believe I made him cry— and it probably isn't even the first time.
"Oh Felix, I am so fucking sorry. I shouldn't have pried, please don't hate me," Felix nodded and pulled away from me,
"Please just go," I nodded, walking over to the bed where my drink was. I quickly finished it, before placing it back down, picking up Felix's and taking it over to him. I sat it on the bench before walking to the door. I stopped with my hand on the handle,
"I am really, really sorry." Felix didn't reply.
Felix's P.O.V
I couldn't tell him. He didn't need to know, if he knew how broken I really was, he would lose interest— but that's what I wanted— right? But now I can't stop thinking about him— I haven't been able to stop thinking about him ever since we first kissed. Because it was my first kiss— what the hell is happening? I don't want Jake around, but I do. If I don't get rid of him, then I will have to tell him eventually.
I sighed getting up off of my bed. I walked out back into the house and wandered around cleaning up for a bit. Anything to distract me from the hunger I was feeling.
"You better eat," I screamed and lashed around; dropping the pile of dirty washing I was holding,
"Holy— god Dad— what the hell?" dad sighed before walking over to me,
"I know what you're doing," I looked at him with confusion, even thought it was fake.
"Dad, I don't know what you mean," Dad sighed,
"Felix— your mother told me about your eating disorder. Please don't do this; we all know that when you clean around the house, you are distracting yourself from eating." I gaped at him,
"You know about that?" Dad nodded,
"No one wants you to do that to yourself," I sighed,
"Does that mean Oscar knows?" Dad nodded and I growled,
"FUCK!" I screamed right before I punched the wall next to me. Dad quickly ran over to me,
"Felix— why did you do that. Let's go and get some ice on it and something for you to eat." I frowned and nodded. I couldn't really feel the pain, I don't know if that was a good or a bad thing. But all know is that right now— all of me hurts, most of all— my heart hurt, and I think I know why.
Sam's P.O.V
I was on my way to meet my girlfriend Mia when it happened. I didn't mean to crash into the little nerd, and by little, I mean little. He was small, I knew who he was. He was the grandson or whatever of the owner of the Chinese place— god I love the food there. But it's not as good as my Mum's fried rice. God, it was the best.
But moving on— who knew that crashing into people changed a lot of things. I watched across the school yard as Andy Lau sat down at his usual bench, with his usual dumplings. He was so cute and oblivious,
"Sam, are you even listening?" my head lashed up to look at my girlfriend Mia— who I don't want to be dating anymore.
"No, sorry, what were you saying?" she sighed, causing her curly black hair to move around her shoulders,
"I said we need to go on a date. We haven't done anything in over a month." I nodded, yeah that's because a month ago I crashed into Andy Lau, and haven't stopped thinking about him since.
"Mia— we need to talk," Mia nodded,
"Yeah I know, we need to talk about our date." I shook my head, at her. This is it. This was finally the time I was going to do something for myself, and I was going to tell her.
Well, not tell her that I was not straight and had a crush on the little Asian nerd sitting not too far away from us right now and that I absolutely hated her guts because we were dating. No, there was no way I was going to say that. I'm not that mean— right?
"No— I think we need to break up."