I tried reasoning with my parents but to no avail and I need to start accepting the fact that my parents are selling me off.....this is where I can finally say I hate my parents I have been nothing but everything that they want me to be but no they are still not satisfied and now I'm tired of trying I give up there's nothing in this world that I could do to make my parents happy and proud of me and my achievements.
Well my sisters were nagging and shouting 'why is she the one to marry into a rich family tata we deserve it tata not this trash' I just wanted to die....after I got tired of begging I stormed to my car and drove home.Well if I was a drinker I would be drowning my sorrows but nope I am just crying and stuffing myself with some McDonald's nothing fancy I'm just in the silence of my house listening to music on my phone I just wonder what I ever did to my parents.
Now the topic of marriage...that's something I told myself I'll never get myself into.I am aromantic I also don't believe in love I don't want a husband nor kids....well kids that I can have but it never not crossed my mind and worst of all submitting to a man is something I told myself never will I ever do that.
But it seems god is against me....I hate being told what to do,I hate having to submit to someone as if they are above me when they are not I'm my own person and sometimes I feel girls are stupid thinking that having a man in your life is mandatory no it's not honey having a man is a luxury something you don't need
Now that I'm getting married I'll have to do all the things I never want...as for intercourse I don't think I'll ever be able to do that having sex with a man I don't know and don't love that's just bullshit....I will just have to tell whoever's the fuck that I'm getting married to that he must not expect sex cause it will not happen...no kissing,no touching he should stay the hell away from me and it seems like this son of a bitch is Zulu god why do you hate me Zulu men love being respected and that's one thing I kinda lack I can be rude when I want to
And I'll tell him off ndiyi ntombi yomXhosa mna angandiqheli rhaaa....and I'm not cooking for anyone I'll cook for myself I'll never stand over pots and cook for a grown ass man asoze andizi mntase yhini
I wonder when will all this bullshit of amalobolo be starting....argh he better be handsome lomnqundu.....I hear my phone ringing and guess who it is....
IT'S NDALOENTLE BHENGU
CHEESEGIRL YAM MADODA😂
Me:"yhaa cheesegirl"
Ndalo:"tsek....what's wrong with your voice have you been crying"
Yha neh I just said 'yhaa cheesgirl' and she already know ba I'm not okay
Me:"nah I'm good how are you"
I say that with a cracking voice and I silently cry
Ndalo:"Yamihle Dlamini khuluma tuu kwenzakalani mnganami"
I start crying
Me:"my parents are marrying me off to some guy chomi"
Ndalo:"what do you mean your parents are marrying you off"
Me:"Ndalo I'm being forced in an arranged marriage with some guy I don't know"
I say this slightly raising my voice
Ndalo:"why don't you tell them to fuck off mngani you're 25 you can make your own decisions they're being unfair on you and they can't force you to do something you don't want to do"
Me:"Ndalo I love my parents I don't want to be disowned by them okay?!"