✨I don't know if it's wrong to have feelings for you, but... I can't help it✨
It was Monday and thank god, I did not had any encounter with Nick. Well, I wouldn't know because I haven't left home since Saturday. I don't wanna leave today either but I need to work in order to pay the bills.
I got ready in a pair of light blue trousers and a black sweater tucked in, with white sneakers. Hair high in a cute bun. There are times when I don't feel attractive but there are times that I glance myself two or three times in the mirror because I think I look cute. There's no better feeling than that. Smiling at myself in the mirror for no apparent reason, I took a deep breath cause I needed to start this day positively.
Grabbed my backpack and make my way out of my room to a Jade wrapped in a towel with a big bowl of cereal. I ask "You okay?" She replies with her mouthful "Just took a shower and started craving for cereal." She chewed with the crunching noise and offered me "Want some?" I smile and shake my head "I need to go. I'm meeting Harvey at his house because he wants to work from home today." Jade smiles with the milk drooling down her chin and wiggled her brows. I hissed "Shush! Stuff your face. Not another word from you." She snorted and I grabbed the keys "I'm taking the car today, okay?" She answered with her mouthful "I don't get why you have to ask me every time. It's yours. I gave it to you three months ago."
"And three months ago, I said no. It's either yours or not."
"It's ours."
"I can live with that."
I went out the door with shout "I'm going! Love you!" And then I hear her shout back "I love you too. Bring salsa on your way home!"
This girl... I shake my head at this hungry Latino monster and almost smiled.
Went downstairs and walked to my car.
Clicking the button to unlock the doors, my gaze went up towards the door of the building and Nick was there. Without even thinking for a second, I squatted down on the floor. As if he couldn't see me. Without getting back up, I opened the car door, got in and started the car while still squirming in my seat.
And drive to the office first to pick up some things for Harvey.
X
I rang the door bell with at least twenty files in my arms at the given address from him earlier.
The building looked expensive and really nice. It had a doorman and all. It had a freaking elevator. Something I wished we had because sometimes walking up three floors on the stairs was annoying when you're too tired for the day.
The door opened and there he stood in gray sweatpants and a white shirt. It was weird to see him all casual instead of his suits. He smiled but he looked pale. His eyes looked drowsy. I asked "You okay?" He waved his hand with used tissues in it "I'm fine." I could tell by his voice that his nose was stuffy. He was sick. I smiled "You clearly don't look fine."
"I'm better than yesterday. I had a fever."
He opens the door wider for me to step in and as I do, I don't have control of my jaw anymore because it decides to drop like a lunatic. It was not an apartment. It was a penthouse. The black and brown aesthetic give the vibes of a man cave. The couches were black, the tables were wood. The kitchen was black and even the darn stairs was black.
He says "Sorry, it's a bit messy at the moment." I chuckled "Messy?" He points at the papers across the dining table.
"If you call this messy then I don't know what organized is anymore. You should see my room."
He took the files from me and set it on the table "You want something to drink? Water, tea, juice? I'd offer you a beer but you don't look like you're the type to drink beers."
"Oh? And what type of beverages do you think I drink?"
"I don't know. Something sweet and fruity."
He raised his brow with a smile and said "I'm right, aren't I?" I rolled my eyes and kept my bag on the table and took out my iPad, telling him his schedulers for the day "You need to attend one meetings today- which is actually really important- and sign paper works." He nods "Okay, which of these are the ones that need to be signed?" I looked at the giant pile of files and winced "All of them." His face was drained from color and he whispered under his breath "Fuck me." He inhaled and I could hear the silent bubbles in his stuffed nose. Feeling bad for him, I offered "How about I'll make you soup while you start with the paper? Hmm?" He chuckles "You're a great PA, you look adorable when you eat donuts, you're a good dancer... and now you're a chef? What is there that you can't do, woman?" I snort "I can't do broccoli. Broccoli is evil." He throw his head back laughing and suddenly starts coughing hard. I waste no time in getting him a glass of room temperature water and handing it to him.
X
I kept a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup and a slice of toasted bread with salted butter in front of him. He looks up at me with a smile, wearing black framed glasses that made him appear even more attractive "Thank you." I kept a box of tissue in front of him as well.
I sat on the other end of the small square table and began writing emails for him just to lessen his workload. Not using the spoon, he takes the bowl in his hand and slowly starts sipping from it, chewing the bits of chicken and noodles while looking over the paperworks.
I was too into typing the emails that I didn't paid attention to him but heard him grunt loud. Looking up again, I ask "What's wrong?" He grabs couple of tissues and begins cleaning his shirt that had a huge yellow stain right on his stomach. I stand instantly and make my way to him "Are you okay? Did you burn yourself?" Without even thinking, I lift up his shirt and look closely at his stomach. Thankfully, he wasn't burned or had a red mark or something. I put my hand right against his stomach and he visibly sucks in his stomach, his sweatpants hanging lower to his v-line- if that was even possible- I looked up at him and his cheeks were stained light pink and blue eyes were a shade darker than normal. I gasped because I had just realized what I had done and take no time in backing away "I'm sorry, I..." I clear my throat and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, whispering "I did not mean to cross the boundary." He stiffly nods and gets up, making his way towards the stairs. I say "I'll get you another bowl, okay?" He doesn't answer but just climbs up without looking back.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I pick up the bowl and as I do, my gaze go upstairs to him taking off his skirt. My body was suddenly too warm for my own good that the black sweater I wore felt suffocating. I watched how his torso stretched when he took his shirt off, and for the first time I noticed a tattoo. This gorgeous Phoenix tattoo with the shades of orange, red and yellow. Fire, the Phoenix was on fire with its wings spread, as if ready to take whatever the world throws at it.
I forced myself to look away and go to the kitchen and get him another bowl of soup.
I had cleaned the table already and kept the soup ready for but this time in a huge mug I found in the cabinet.
He comes down in black pajamas and a blue shirt, and actually smiled at the mug. Muttering a thanks and taking his seat.
I couldn't concentrate on the email, his tattoo was the only thing in my mind. I wanted to touch it. I watched it know if the tattoo was soft or not. I wanted to trace my fingers on the outline of its wings. I wanted to ask him why he got that tattoo.
Pervert. You are a pervert, Alana Stevenson.
I started pulling on the collar of my sweater because my body was getting warmer, and I desperately wished I had a spare shirt with me. I pulled the collar and silently blew air in my shirt to keep myself from sweating somehow. It got uncomfortable. Him sitting right in front of me, my sweater feel suffocating and his tattoo in my mind. Everything got suffocating.
I wanted to bang my head against the table and curse myself for wearing this sweater for the sole purpose that it gave my waist some shape and I didn't look like a... blob monster in it.
I ask "Can I use your bathroom?" He looks up from his paper, chewing, and then said "Yeah, of course." I smile a thank you and almost face palmed myself because I thought that even chewing, he looked gorgeous.
Locking myself in the bathroom, I take the sweatshirt off. Fanning myself with my hands. Fanning my armpits and under my boobs. Even the damn bra felt suffocating. Damn me for wearing wire and double padded. I grabbed my phone and called Jade.
She picked up "Hey, what's up!"
"I'm freaking out. It's so hot in his apartment. My sweater feels suffocating. Can you bring me a shirt?"
"Just ask your boss for one."
"Are you crazy?!"
"Alana, it's just a shirt. It's not like you're asking for his underwear or telling him to give you the one he's wearing... if he's wearing any."
I roll my eyes "Why does your mind always go there?!" She snorts "Sorry."
"Jade, just please bring me a shirt!"
"Okay, sheesh. I'll be there. Just text me the address."
I hang up the phone and send the address right at the next moment. Grabbing a couple of toilet paper, I pat my hairline dry and my nose too. Didn't want the mascara come running down. There was knock on the door.
"Yeah?"
"Alana, are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Oh, okay. The meeting is about to start in two minutes."
"I'll be right there!"
Shit, shit, shit.
This meeting was important. It was another contract signing.
Please god, I've embarrassed myself already today. This is too much. Why do I keep acting like such a perverted dork when I'm around him?!
I keep my pride away and ask "Uh, Harvey?" Seconds later, I hear him say "What's up?"
"Can I ask you for a favor?"
There was complete silence for a second but he asks "Yeah, you okay?" I looked myself in the mirror and my face was red with embarrassment. I clenched my eyes and asked "C- can I borrow one of your shirts?" He doesn't answer for another second.
Ground, transport me. I beg you to transport me now!
"Yeah, sure. Give me a second."
"Okay."
I hear a knock on the door "Lana?" I clear my throat "Yeah, I'm here."
"Here you go."
I open the door and only let my hand out. I feel him putting his shirt in my hand and I pull my hand back, closing the door again. I look at the shirt and it was simple black one. Holding up in my hands, I knew it was not gonna fit me.
Checking the tag of the shirt, it said Giordano with the size L.
Definitely not gonna fit my XXL body.
I hear him say "Is the shirt okay?" I gulp down my pride and ask "D-do you have anything in XL?" Pure silence from his end.
I hate my life. I hate my life. I wanna just bury my head in his toilet!
He finally speaks "Yeah, I do. Here."
I open the door, pushing out my hand again. He exchanged the shirt. And as I pull back, I take no time in wearing it. Sure, it wasn't loose but at least it fit. Even though I looked ridiculous. The shirt was dark blue and fit me. Another thing I hated.
Why are clothes so frustrating?!
I took a deep breath and told myself "Alana, get through this meeting and get out of here."
Yeah, that's what I'll do. I can do it.
I grab my sweater and make my way out. As I do, I watch him putting on the black shirt he gave me a moment ago. And then I realized, he gave me the shirt that he was wearing before. No wonder why it was warm and smelled like agarwood. Face planing myself without meaning to, he asks "You okay?" I smile and pretend that I didn't notice that he gave me the shirt he was wearing "Never better. Thanks for the shirt." He smiles "I'll wait for you downstairs." I nod and he walks down.
I text Jade that I didn't need a shirt anymore, that I got one from him and all I get in return is a drool emoji and a red chili emoji.
🤤🌶
Putting my embarrassment aside, I try to make my way downstairs, trying to act as normal as I could.
What is normal? No, Alana. Don't procrastinate. Get through this meeting and go home. Be done for the day. You've embarrassed yourself too much already. You are wearing your god damn boss' shirt! You need to calm-
"Is everything okay?" He asks and I almost cry because he just interrupted me scolding myself internally. I nod "Just peachy." He scoffs "Are you okay? You're acting totally different today." I sit opposite on the single couch while he has the double-seater couch all to himself with his laptop on the coffee table "Different how?" He wears his glasses "I don't know... just different." He rubs the back of his neck and mumbles to himself "Adorably different." I heard it, every word. Our eyes meet and a smile spreads across his lips. It's not cocky, it's not tight- it's warm. Pleasantly warm that makes me smile too.
My watch beeps and right the next second, his laptop rings. He cleared his throat, fix his glasses on his nose and then takes the video call.
Why does he make me feel like that?
X
"It's okay, Mr. Santiago. It was a pleasure doing business with you." He assures the person gently.
The call ends and he slouches against the couch, huffing and pushing his fingers in his thick black hair in frustration. He says looking up "I can't believe we lost this deal." He adds "Six people will lose their jobs tomorrow because of this."
I felt bad. I truly did.
I tried to comfort him "I know it might sound bad but... maybe it was meant to be. Maybe those people were meant to lose their jobs so they could do exciting things with their lives. Things they always wanted to." He shakes his head "Not every one has the freedom for that, Alana. Some of them actually have kids that need to be fed. Parents to take care of." I asked meekly "Do you have to let them go?"
"I'm not gonna let them go. Not until I figure out every possibility to keep them here. To save their jobs."
I couldn't bear to see him like that for some reason, so I said the very first thing that came to mind "D-do you want a hug?" Suddenly, he starts laughing out loud.
He looks at me "How can someone be so... pure. Optimistic. Alana Stevenson, you're one adorable girl."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"No, it's a one in a million thing." he adds "Can I save that hug? Can I save it for some other day when I badly need it?"
"Okay."
He takes in a deep breath, a smile still lingers on his lips "It's getting late. You should go home." I look at my watch and it was already 6PM.
I get up and walk to my backpack on the dinning table. Keeping in my iPad, carry the bag and ask "Can I keep the shirt? I promise I'll return it tomorrow. Washed too." He shakes his head "Keep it. It's okay."
He stands up as I walk to the door and says "I'll see you tomorrow." I nod and walk out.
He is a one in a million man.
••••••