☽☽☽
TELLING HER PARENTS THAT AURORA HAD DIED was a lot harder than Athena had expected it to be. She could barely get the words out. They caught in her throat, lingering in the air with the tears in her eyes. Saying it out loud made it real, made it irreversible.
Athena wasn't sure when she'd stop thinking that her sister was going to walk through the front door. She would watch it out of the corner of her eye, her hand around he locket that now contained no special power.
She couldn't bring herself to change the photo anymore. The locket would stay quiet forever now. Athena liked carrying her sister around with her. She loved opening the locket to see Aurora's smile again. It comforted her knowing she was still there, watching over her just as she said she would.
Athena hadn't slept that night despite having fought a war the night before. Everything felt different now. She could hear her parents crying from the other room which completely broke her heart. She sat up with her head against the wall with silent tears running down her cheeks.
She was lost without Aurora. Her sister had guided her through everything. If Athena ever had a problem, Rory would be able to fix it. That's how it always had been. Athena had taken it for granted, she'd taken her sister for granted.
After the first war, Athena had believed herself to be completely alone. Constantly she'd said that everyone had left her. She was so warped up in what she had lost that Athena hadn't realised what she still had. Aurora had been by her side through everything and now the only person who had never left her, was gone.
It was hard to wrap her head around, impossible even. Athena couldn't understand how it had happened. How they'd won against her sister, why she hadn't been there to stop it. She didn't like lingering around the question 'what if'. Her sisters death was no ones fault except the death eater who had killed her. Dolohov. He was dead now. Athena was glad. He would have been placed in Azkaban regardless but Athena was happier knowing that he wasn't still breathing.
The thing about grief was that it made happy memories sad. Athena would try and think back to the good times, to appreciate when Aurora had helped her to smile, helped her to laugh. Now when she thought of those times when they were children, so careless about the future, she would just cry. There was no way around it. These memories couldn't help her feel happy when Athena felt so broken.
She knew that she would get past this. Athena had a bright future ahead of her and Aurora wouldn't want her to waste away buried in memories of what had happened. She had a family still. She had a love, she had a child and she had people around her who she really cared about.
Athena would never forget the people she had met along the way. She would never not feel sad to hear their names in casual conversation. Their deaths would always leave a sting on her heart because they weren't here and she was.
However it didn't mean Athena wouldn't be happy again. Just because she couldn't make memories with the people she had lost, didn't mean she couldn't make memories with the people she had gained. With the people she still had close to her.
Everything was changing now but Athena wasn't going to pretend that it wasn't for the better. The world was improving little by little and it had only been a day since the end of the war. McGonagall was in charge of Hogwarts, Kingsley in charge of the ministry, death eaters had been locked up and Voldemort was definitely dead this time.
Athena had known it was over as soon as the dark lord had crumbled. She'd felt it in her veins, felt it in her heart. It had been a quite relief, a lifting of everything that had hurt her in the past.
Although she wished those she had lost could be here to join in the celebration of a new world, she knew one day she would close her eyes and find herself with them again. But for now, that would wait. For now, she chose life.
☽☽☽
The day after the war had ended, Athena only had one thing on her mind. Going to see Kennedy.
Kennedy's life had never been normal, if anything she had been more twisted into the war than anyone. With the mark on her arm and her now tainted heart, she had experienced a life that was anything but easy.
Athena understood why she hadn't stayed to see the end of the war. Kennedy had left as soon as she had known it was over because she couldn't accept she was really a part of the people who had helped bring Voldemort down. Kennedy couldn't appreciate that she was loved, that she was cared for, that people would miss her.
Kennedy had set herself a task before time took her, she had sworn that she would remove the people from the world who had hurt her. She'd succeeded. Kennedy had killed Fenrir Greyback, she had killed Howard and Elizabeth Vulpes, killed Bellatrix Lestrange.
Her life was an empty page now and Athena knew she didn't have any plan to fill that.
However there were so many words between the two of them that had been left unsaid. All the anger and frustration of the war had been taken out on each other. They'd let the darkness plague their opinions of each other and forgotten just why they were such good friends in the first place.
Athena wanted to tell Kennedy how much she cared, how much she loved her.
Kennedy had been the first friend Athena had made. Remus had been made for her, forced into childhood friendship. Of course she was grateful for this but there had been something refreshing about making a friend for herself.
Athena had met Kennedy in first year. She'd been the first person to see Kennedy for who she was although Athena had never realised this. They'd met at a time when Athena had felt alone for the first time. Remus had made three new friends and Athena felt out of her depths. Kennedy had always been alone. She wasn't used to the feeling of a friend but she didn't hate it either.
Athena missed what they'd had. She'd missed their talks by the lake. Missed telling Kennedy that Sirius and James weren't that bad. She missed Kennedy complaining about everyone and she'd missed the times when they could just laugh about nothing at all.
The war had changed them and now, Athena didn't want their friendship to be a memory.
Therefore, the day after the war Athena arrived in Kennedy's kitchen. Dusting floo power off her arms, she looked around. Athena had only been in Kennedy's house once after Sirius had died. Then, the house had been completely broken out of Kennedy's anger. She'd been furious enough to break all the glasses, to smash the banister.
Now the house looked normal. Everything highlighted that someone lived here. Washing up in the sink, a place laid at the table. Athena felt a faint smile as she walked further into the house.
"Kenny, it's just me!" Athena called as she started to pace up the stairs, "sorry it's early, I wanted to see you as soon as I could"
As she reached the top of the stairs, she looked towards the door she knew opened to Kennedy's bedroom. It was open just a crack. Through this opening, Athena could see a hand dangling off the side of the bed, palm faced to the sky.
"Are you asleep?" Athena asked as she paced towards the room, "it's not that early"
She pushed open the door and stared at Kennedy lying with her eyes closed. The girl looked more peaceful than ever, barely a line on her face, her skin shining in the morning light. Her hair spread around her beautifully.
Kennedy Vulpes could have been asleep but Athena knew immediately that she wasn't.
Athena's life seemed to crumble before her eyes, she fell against the doorframe as her legs were too shaken to carry her any further. Placing a hand over her mouth to stifle the loud sob that had escaped her. Tears rolled down her eyes.
This was so soon, too soon. The war had only just ended but her grief stretched on.
This was different. Athena had known that Kennedy would die. She'd known that her days were numbered, that her blood was slowly poisoning her. However, that didn't make this any easier.
Athena had been deluded once more. She'd been under a ridiculous belief. Just as her immortality had faded away as the war ended, she had hoped that Kennedy would be granted a new life. How wrong she had been.
It didn't matter if Athena had expected this. It didn't stop the shock that hit her as she saw her friend lying dead right in front of her eyes.
If only she'd come faster. If only she'd found her after the war. Kennedy must have known this was coming, escaped before she didn't get the opportunity. If Athena had known, there would be so much to say. She could have talked for days to Kennedy until she finished saying all that needed to be said. Now she wouldn't be able to say any of it. Time had run out. The words faded into the silence along with everything else.
Athena dropped to her knees in front of the bed with tear stained vision. Not Kennedy too. Why couldn't they have had a few more months? Years even? Why did fate have to be so cruel to rip her from the world just as things had started to look up for her?
Kennedy could have had a good life. She'd never had it easy but now things had changed. Now she wasn't being hunted. Kennedy could have helped raise Hope. She could have been a protector, a friend, so much more.
Lightly, Athena picked up Kennedy's hand and laid it lightly over her body so it wasn't hanging so limp off the side of the bed.
She wasn't exactly cold. She wasn't warm either. Kennedy had died recently which hurt even more.
Athena could have had a chance to see her if there hadn't been so much going on. If the war hadn't taken all of her concentration. If her grief over Aurora hadn't left her crying through the night. She would have gone to Kennedy, she would have made sure she was ok just as she always had done.
Tears dropped from her eyes onto Kennedy's face as she stared down at her. She really did look like she was sleeping. Athena half expected to see her blue eyes open at any second.
The lack of stress over her now resting features suggested she hadn't felt pain. Instead, there was a small smile over her lips that made Athena feel a bittersweet feeling of depression.
Kennedy had never enjoyed being alive. Not really.
There'd always been things to keep her going, people to keep her going. She'd had Sirius, she'd had Athena, at some point she'd had Regulus. But there'd been too much against her. Sometimes it had felt that everyone had been against Kennedy and maybe at some point everyone was.
She'd been through so much. Athena wasn't surprised if she was grateful to finally be able to let go.
Athena leant back, controlling her sobs as she felt that knifing pain in her side. Grief was an indescribable emotion but it hurt so much, too much.
As she stared down at her friend, something caught her eye. Athena turned to see the black baseball bat propped up against the wall. Seeing it caused Athena to burst into another wave of tears. It reminded her so much of Kennedy. She'd carried it everywhere with her, a sense of protection in an attempt to convey she wasn't scared of anyone.
In reality, Kennedy had been scared. Why else would she have carried it around?
Athena felt there was still so much she didn't understand about Kennedy. She was a complex character no one had perfectly known. Even now, looking down on her Athena didn't know all there was. No one did. Kennedy probably didn't grasp half of the things that made her so special. She allowed negativities to cloud them over.
As Athena started, sobbing at the baseball bat, she noticed something stuck to it. A collection of parchment hanging on with a bit of tape.
She frowned as she moved over and pulled off the parchment. Tears filled her eyes again as she realised it was a letter. Not just any letter but a letter that had been addressed to her.
Dearest Rena
I knew you would be the one to find me, I knew you'd be the one to come looking for me. I thank you for that and I'm sorry you had to see this. I imagine it's hard for you, I guess you're upset now and I want to tell you to not be.
Yes I'm gone but I went peacefully, I went happily.
I'd done everything I wanted to do. I completed what I'd planned and now I write this I realise that my time is coming to an end.
Im sorry I left after the war ended. I knew my time was limited and I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye. I guess I'm a coward but it's so much easier to hide behind this letter. That way I can say all I need to say without worrying what it'll mean.
I wasn't in pain. I'm not now and I know I won't be. I will accept death like an old friend. I'm happy for the time that I had even if a lot of it wasn't perfect. It was my life and I suppose that's what matters in the end.
I want to apologise Rena. For so much.
First of all, I want to apologise to you for not coming to your wedding. It was selfish of me Rena and it is one regret that I will forever hold on to.
You were my first friend, the one person who didn't see the front that I put up. You were the first person to truly see me and that means more to me than I'll ever be able to put into words. You were with me through everything. When you found out I was a death eater, when I kidnapped you... you were still my friend. I don't know why but you were and I'm forever grateful for you.
Sometimes I think that you knew me better than anyone because you never listened to those words I used to protect myself. You saw through me. You saw something in me when I didn't.
You saved me Rena. I know you don't understand how but back in sixth year when I had to kill Sirius, I knew I couldn't do it. I wanted to end it right there. I would have killed myself but I didn't. I didn't because of you, because of how much you wanted to help me.
You would have missed me and that amazed me. I couldn't believe that I was worth enough for you to care about me. I couldn't comprehend that you wanted to be my friend when you could have known anyone you wanted to.
Truth is Rena, I've always loved you.
You were my first love. Of course Sirius was the love of my life. I loved him unimaginable amounts and I am more than overjoyed that soon I will get to see him again. I've missed him, I've missed us.
But before Sirius, there was you and although I know you didn't feel the same, that didn't matter. It didn't matter because I didn't want anything to come of it. I was just happy for your presence in my life. I was just happy that you were there for me. I didn't need anything more because I had you.
I didn't come to your wedding because I was selfish.
It wasn't simply jealousy. There was more than that. I couldn't face what I had lost. My marriage had just been ripped away from me and I was still hurting more than I knew to be possible.
I couldn't face the wedding, I couldn't pretend to be happy.
I am happy for you Rena. That will never not be true. You've achieved so much. You are the bravest and smartest person I've ever met. You're bloody amazing and I don't say that lightly. You will be an amazing wife and an amazing mother. You could do anything you put your mind to.
I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for you.
To tell you the truth, I would have given in. I would have been a death eater. I would have followed my parents blindly because I was scared. I felt there was nothing else for me. I didn't see another life but thanks to you I did.
I wouldn't have found Sirius without you and I wouldn't have had the most brilliant, incredible friend that anyone could wish for.
I'm running out of words to say even though I feel like there is still so much more. The world goes on without me in it. I hope you realise that Rena. I know you'll find happiness in the future. You deserve it more than anyone else I know. You're selfless but now it's time to focus on yourself, on Remus, on your daughter. I know you'll do great things. I know because I know you, I trust you, I love you.
Thank you for everything.
To another life,
Kenny.
☽☽☽
A/n
Words - 3005
Published - 27th August 2021
Sobbing omg
I didn't want to kill
Kennedy but it's always
been the plan so
I couldn't change it now
I love her sm
/*