Arvi
"I'm sorry," Arjun whispers urgently, wrapping himself around me and kissing my hair before resting his chin over my head, keeping me close to himself.
"I didn't think I'd hurt you like that, Arvi. I'm so sorry," he repeats, and I chuckle, taken over by the unfamiliarity of this part of Arjun. I still remember, I'd had to threaten to throw him out of the car to apologise, and here he is now, apologising because I asked. If I hope that one day he'll apologise as soon as he realises his mistake, it's not too far-fetched, is it?
"What's wrong?" he asks, pulling back to look at my face.
I wipe the tears off my face and look at him, observing his concerned expression. He probably thinks I've gone nuts by now; raging at him in one moment, crying the next and laughing now.
I shake my head. "Just— you're apologising without me having to threaten you," I point out.
Arjun looks confused for a slight moment. "I wanted to apologise to you back at your parents house," he says, realising what I meant. "But—" he breaks into a sigh— "I didn't know how— you were crying."
"I was not crying," I interject firmly.
Arjun eyes me with perplexity, as though he doesn't understand where I am coming from. I did not cry. I was not crying. I don't cry. Lies.
"Lying is not your niche," he says, as though confirming something.
I glare at him. "No one asked for your opinion. I have no need to lie and make it my speciality."
Arjun closes his eyes for a moment, not saying anything, and I wonder if I said something I shouldn't have, but before I can say anything, he opens his eyes, breathing out slowly, as though calming himself. "I hate to see you cry," he whispers. "I feel helpless, it makes me angry at myself because I can't do anything for you at that moment, I hate seeing you cry, it makes me feel worthless."
"Arjun..." I start, but he shakes his head, discouraging me from saying anything.
"Do you remember that time in the penthouse? I said I would never make you cry, and you said it's not possible; you implied that people hurt each other. And I promised myself on that day that I would never be the reason for your tears," he says. "It's all I wanted to do. I feel incapable when you cry, Arvi. I didn't ever want you to cry, and certainly not because of me.
"When I brought you here after the wedding, I felt like I'd already broken my promise. And then, today," he breathes out, distraught. "I didn't think I'd hurt you like that by taking you to your parents' house. I thought you'd be angry," he admits. "But I hurt you, and I can't do anything about it now, except to say sorry, but please, please let me in, baby."
"Arjun." My voice quivers embarrassingly. "I have let you in, there's nothing I wouldn't talk to you about, nothing I wouldn't tell you," I wipe away the tears forming at the corners of my eyes, not wanting to cry, but also unable to help myself.
"Except about your parents?" Arjun questions, blankly. "They're an exception?"
I sigh, not knowing where to start, or how to start. How can I explain this to him?
"I can't talk about them," I stress, trying to make him understand. "It's not a matter of volition, it's a matter of ability. I'm not able to talk about them without breaking down into a mess. And even then, I can't say two bad things about them without beating myself up. My relationship with my parents and how I feel about it is complicated only because I make it so, and I know it, but I can't change it, Arjun."
"Tell me about two things you hate about them and two things you love about them, then," Arjun suggests, easily. "Or if you want to go the other way around, tell me two things you love about them and two things you hate about them."
I look at him, observing his face to see if he is serious. When his countenance doesn't flicker in the slightest, I express my distaste for the exercise through sarcasm, "are you my psychologist now?"
Arjun narrows his eyes at me, glaring. "No, I'm just a husband that wants his wife to have a better relationship with her parents." He stands up, the anger radiating from him in waves.
Arjun's anger now I realise is different from his anger before, the steering-slamming reaction. Was that anger? Or was it frustration? Who was it directed towards?
"Arjun," I hold his hand to stop him from walking away. "I'll do it," I agree, just to appease him.
Arjun raises one eyebrow, suspiciously. "Really?"
I nod. "Really." Patting the space he was previously sitting in, I beckon him. "Sit."
"I need to pee," he says. "That's why I got up."
It's my turn to narrow my eyes at him. "Really?"
"What? I don't want to go anywhere either," he says. "Wait for me to come back, I need love."
I hold my head while Arjun goes off to the bathroom, chuckling to himself. I really need to think about the things I say when I'm angry.
I dive under the covers when I hear the sound of the bathroom's door opening.
"I'll shave my beard if you sleep without sticking to your promise," Arjun threatens, climbing onto the bed, over me.
I peak out of the blanket sullenly. "Why?"
"Because you promised," he replies, pulling me into his chest as he rests next to me.
"Just two?" I ask to confirm, wrapping an arm around his torso so that I can turn and look at him.
"Technically, four," he corrects, holding me against his side.
I caress his beard, wondering how he'd be different without it. "Don't you like your beard too much to shave it off?" I ask him.
"Even I don't like it more than you do, Janaki."
That's also true.
Sighing, I relax into his hold and close my eyes, letting tiredness engulf me. "I hate my parents' insensitivity and inconsideration, but they've always been supportive of my decisions, they—" I pause, trying to find the word to fit in.
"Hm?" Arjun urges me to continue.
"They have faith in me," I accept slowly, opening my eyes at the realisation. "They believe in me."
~.~.~.~.~
The next morning, I wake up because of Arjun's alarm.
"Arjun," I groan, stuffing my face into the pillow just as he turns it off. "Why do you have an alarm on Sunday?"
"I missed gym yesterday, baby," Arjun answers, pressing a kiss against my cheek. "It's 6:45 now, I'll be home in an hour and a half. Get dressed, alright? We'll check out the house today."
I nod, rubbing the side of my face against the soft silk pillow. "Bye," I murmur to him, opening my eyes just enough for a glimpse. I stretch my arm to reach across his chest and attempt to place a kiss on his lips, which sloppily lands on his chin. "I love you."
Arjun chuckles and presses a hard kiss on my cheek. "I love it when you're tired or sleepy," he says and kisses my forehead.
"Mhm," I hum, waving him off as I turn on my side to go back to sleep.
Warmth embraces me for a second as Arjun wraps his arms around my waist and leaves the last kiss on my shoulder, and then he's gone, leaving me unable to doze back into the peaceful slumber of the night before when he was next to me.
An hour or so later, I decide to forego on the idea of sleep and follow my husband's instructions— I can already hear my mother, aunts and grandmother going, 'oh, finally someone she listens to!'— and walk into the bathroom to take a shower.
By the time I walk outside, music still playing on my phone, I find Arjun sitting on the bed, clutching his head.
I turn off the music in an instant when Arjun's awfully serious looking eyes meet mine.
"What's wrong?" I ask, treading towards him, my body prickling with goosebumps because of the cold temperature of the room.
"I—" Arjun sighs, hanging his head down. "I wanted to tell you once it is confirmed," he says, looking up slowly. "I— the deal— Dubai—"
My heart thuds with anticipation when he says Dubai.
"You will have to go."
It seems that my words cause a heaviness to be lifted off of Arjun, he straightens up and nods.
"I will— for six months at least."
I gulp. Yesterday, the thought had made me anxious, frightful. Today, I don't know how to feel about it.
"You— you should've told me sooner," I tell him. "When you came back."
"I don't know," Arjun exhales heavily. "I don't know, I thought I wouldn't have to go—" he shakes his head, before fitting it into his palms again— "I didn't think they would agree this time, since they didn't agree the last time or the time before that. And then I was waiting for them to send their terms across."
Next to him, I sit down on the bed and take his hand in mine while he continues to talk.
"I don't know what I was hoping for. Maybe that the deal won't go through. They've agreed to our terms, but we were yet to agree to theirs, and I was hoping that they have unreasonable conditions— it's all very stupid, I've been working hard for this for the past three years, and now I have it and I'm not happy about it."
"Arjun," I sigh, cupping his face. "What's wrong with you? You've wanted this for so long. It's good for the company, it's going to make everyone so happy. I am so proud of you! Don't be like this. You should be proud of yourself!"
"But Janaki— what about you?" he begs. "I'll have to leave and you'll have to stay here, alone."
Stay here?
Why would I stay here if Arjun has to go to Dubai?
"I don't have to," I put across lightly. "If you're going to move, I'm going to move with you."
Arjun looks up at me, gaping. Words that were to make out of his mouth remain in his head, never making it out.
"You can't go with me," he declines with a firmness that would've made the Leaning Tower of Pisa stand tall.
"Why can't I go with you?" I question. "And why would you say I can't go with you?"
"Arvi— what about your career?" he asks, his face morphing into a mix of surprise and something I cannot quite place. "Your career! Family! Everything's here!"
My career.
Family.
Arjun's argument holds me back from debating further. "But what about you?"
"I'll keep visiting," Arjun suggests. "And you can fly to Dubai a few times. Six months isn't a long time."
Tell me that six months isn't a long time. Me, who missed you so terribly over five days.
I shake my head, unable to argue with him. Truly, what about my career? What about our family?
"I'll take a shower and we can go to check out the house," Arjun says. This is what he wants to do or talk about after the conversation we had just now? How is it so easy for him to tell me that I should stay here while he leaves? To say that six months isn't a long time?
I look at him, perplexed. "Am I to live alone in that house?"
"It will take some time to have everything done, buying the furniture, and should you want the house renovated, even that will take time," he explains, "it should be finished by the time I'm completely back here."
"Wait." I stop him from speaking further. Waiting for the words to sink in. "You already know where we're going to move to?"
Realisation dawns on Arjun. "I didn't tell you," he seems to remember. "About the house— I already have one," he tells me, as though that is very explanative.
"You have a house?" I question incredulously. "Do you have a house in mind, or do you own a house?"
"I... own a house," Arjun clarifies, hesitantly. "It's— I got it a few years ago. Before Savi left for the States. We can look at other options if you don't like it."
For reasons I cannot fathom, I find myself feeling angry. I don't know at what. Arjun? Myself? That stupid company in Dubai? The house that my husband owns, but I've never heard about? I don't know.
Not wanting to fight with Arjun, I simply nod. "We'll take a look at it," I agree, and stand up to get dressed.
I don't look back at Arjun as I walk into the closet and close the door, grimacing when the door unintentionally slams shut. I glare at the door with ferocity, wanting to kick at it, but there is a part of me that knows I'm only going to hurt myself.
I want to yell, shout out loud, do something.
An irritation gnaws at my being as I shuffle through the closet, looking for clothes to wear but all of a sudden, I feel like I have nothing to wear.
~.~.~.~.~
Arjun and I make minimal conversation on our way to the prospective new house. I'm almost sure I want to dislike the house, say no, annoy Arjun, do something, but the mere sight of the house gives me calm.
My mother had often told us of a positive feeling upon setting foot on the land where we later built our house. I'd never experienced it first hand, until this very moment.
The gate opens to a driveway, a clearing between what could easily be mistaken for a patch of green land. The property is nestled amongst green lustre and doesn't seem to be bought as an investment, which had been my initial thought when Arjun told me he owned a house.
I'd invested in real estate too, but none of my purchases had been as well-thought as this. This place seems to have been bought with purpose.
"When did you buy this house?" I ask Arjun, turning to look at him.
"Two or three years ago, I guess," he answers. "Sometime before Savi left to the States."
The timeline Arjun suggests doesn't make sense to me. One, who maintains a record of time based on when their sister left for college? And two, the house we live in now, is fairly new, constructed only four or five years ago.
"You wanted to live here." I don't know if I'm asking a question or making a statement.
Arjun hesitates for a moment, his eyes briefly meeting mine before turning back onto the road in front of us. He halts the car directly in front of the house.
"I had considered it for a brief while back then," he admits.
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "You bought a house while you considered living here?"
Arjun's unusual silence makes me curious about the house.
I wonder if I should just chalk it up to the mood of the day. Even Ram Mamayya, who had been incredibly happy and proud of his son for making the deal seemed to have been disgruntled knowing Arjun would have to move to Dubai. In a week.
I kept thinking about moving to Dubai, in my head.
Dubai's an entirely different place, and I have projects of my own happening here. Moving with Arjun seemed only to be a selfish option, especially considering that Aryan would require support now since I had been one of the people to push him to choose as he had. Even with all of this in mind, my heart still desired Arjun's constant presence than my responsibility as a director, sister, and family member.
Torn between the heart and mind, I grew more conflicted than I had ever been.
"Come, I'll tell you," Arjun says, opening the car's door for himself. Silently, I follow Arjun into the house. Letting him intertwine our hands as I lean onto his shoulder.
Oh, how much I'm going to miss my annoying husband.
Disliking the minimal contact that holding hands provides, I leave his hand and link my hands around his waist so that I'm partly in his embrace.
Arjun gives me a funny look, looking ready to tease, but I refuse to be teased about wanting to be closer to my husband, and he seems to think otherwise about teasing me, he doesn't make a sound.
"Are you going to tell me today?" I ask, bored, as he unlocks the door to the house.
He definitely bought this one to move in. I can tell just by looking at the lock!
"So, you know Savi's studying English and Psychology?" Arjun questions, leading me into the house.
"Yes," I answer, awaiting the continuation.
"My parents weren't exactly very happy with her idea," he says, and I remember what Pranathi Vadina told me more than a month ago.
"And you fought for Savitri so that she could study what she wants?" I try to complete it.
Arjun looks at me, perplexed. "Who told you?"
"Sources," I respond haughtily. "It's not exactly like my husband tells me about the house he'd bought, or the deal he made—" and then I realise the reason for Arjun's behaviour two nights ago. He didn't want to tell me he'd made the deal because he knew I wouldn't like what it entails.
"That's not true, Arvi, and you know it," Arjun says, pointedly.
Well, I do.
"I'm just—"
"Annoyed?" Arjun offers.
I let out a long breath, and close my eyes. What's happening to me?
"I'm sorry," I apologise, disentangling myself from him. "It's just— I'm taking time to process this."
"Arvi," Arjun draws out. "Six months isn't a long time!"
I wince internally. "Can you not say that, please?" The words that leave my mouth aren't to request. Even I know that.
"I don't like this— this fighting, this passive-aggressive thing that's happening between us, Arvi."
When did I start hating my name so much?
My name is Arvi, isn't it? It's not Janaki. It's Arvi.
"All we've done since I've come back is fight, one way or another. I hate it," Arjun hisses, trying to contain his tone, but unable to keep the anger out of it.
"I'm sorry marriage isn't easy, Arjun?" I offer. "What did you think when you married me? That we'd be happy ever after and forever?"
"I think the troubles of marriage are normalised so much that everyone thinks this sort of a thing between couples is okay," Arjun says. "I'm sorry this isn't how I want my marriage to be. I want a happy wife, and a happy marriage, that will ultimately make me happy. I don't want this passive-aggressive bullshit."
"Bullshit?" I scoff. "What the fuck should that mean? I'm sorry I can't process that my husband has to be gone for six whole months, Arjun! It's not easy for me. I feel deprived without you, Arjun. You were gone five days, and I couldn't handle it. This is six months you're talking about! Six freaking months! Actually, it might even be more! This is a half year or more, do you have any sense saying it's just six months? It's not just anything! It's six fucking months, Arjun!"
"I am not blaming you for this, Arvi," Arjun clarifies. "I know this is a lot to process, and if you think I'm going to have the time of my life in Dubai. I won't! I was gone five days and by the time I came back to you—" he breaks off. "I don't like the thought of leaving you alone, Arvi. I need to know that you will be alright."
A/N
Hello! *hides under the blanket to shield herself from tomatoes and eggs* I swear I don't like Arjun and Arvi fighting. Honestly, I can even tell you that I hate what I've written, simply because of all the arguments and the negativity between the two.
Arjun's leaving for Dubai... I've been thinking of this for a while now... but what do you think? Should Arvi go or stay?
Who are you siding with?
Sorry about the late updates, but I can't promise anything right now. I'm super busy with some personal things, and might not be able to make enough time to deliver the kind of writing I wish to. I hope y'all understand.
Also, guys. If you have any questions for the characters, or me, leave them here or you can DM me here on Wattpad, or on Instagram. Always happy to hear from y'all!
With love always,
Wings0104.