I was led back into my room. It's been hours now and Tamir left as soon as I step foot in this room. I guess it makes sense, what could he possibly say to me right now?
When he comes back he's totally changed, he probably even showered, new clothes and a fresh face, he probably did shower. He dismisses Kent he put at my door and then moves to me on the couch. The weight of him makes the couch sink.
I watch him lean forward resting his arms on his knees and laces his fingers together. He's focused, not on me, but whatever is in front of him. I just scan him.
"Are you okay?" He seems fine, the only thing that's bruised are his knuckles and he already had that wrist brace to replaced his stabilizer so nothings new.
"I'm sorry," he sigh. "I was so fucking stupid, I didn't think straight and it nearly costs you your life. I'll protect you better next time."
"It's okay Tamir," I let out and he shakes his head.
"It's not." He pauses. "I don't know how much you saw but man I was angry. At myself for letting you get hurt, at those stupid guys for even hurting you. My first thought should have been to get you out of there-to help you. But no, I chose revenge.
"You crawled out of there and saw me doing the one thing you dread. Killing." He shakes his head once more.
"We don't have to talk about this," I remember his pounding fists. "It's okay Tamir-"
"No it's not!" He lashes out. "I said I would do better! How is this better?!" He stands and I find myself following him. "I nearly got you killed! I saw the way that car flipped and I knew! I knew you were in that car! How is this better Halcyon?"
"It takes time..." I reach out to him and he rejects my touch.
"Stop making excuses for me!" He runs his hand through his hair pushing it out the way. "I fucked this up! And it's all because of you!"
"Me?!" I frown.
"Yes you!" He points at me. "You poisoned me! You poisoned my thinking! You told me I could change and with that shred of hope, I believed you!"
"You believed me..."
"Everything about you goes against me! We're solar opposites for crying out loud, yet here I am! Standing here wanting to do better! Wanting to give you more all because I fucking love you!" My heart stops.
"I've done nothing but made you cry Halcyon! I forced you to watch me murder, I tried to make you murder, I put my own hands on you! Why can't you see how bad I am for you?!" I step towards him and he takes one back.
"You...you don't want to love me...do you?"
"I'm scared of loving you! I've seen it all in my time, I've become the worst of the worst and I'm scared! You did this to me." He takes another step back. He's angry about loving me? "You fucking did this to me." He's moving to the door.
"Wait!" I follow him. "Tamir don't go!" I grab his hand. "Please," I tug. "Please don't go."
"Don't.." he rips his arm free. His eyes watch mine and for once, for once I see exactly that in his eyes, fear. He really is afraid. "Don't touch me." I frown. "I don't want to do this with you."
"What?" He just keeps dragging my heart.
"Not with you."
"You're scared and now you're just going to run away. You sound like a real bitch you know!"
"Don't fucking call me that." He strides forward and I take a step back.
"Real pathetic for a mafia leader." He continues to step forward and I continue to take one back.
"Don't test me Halcyon."
"What?! You don't want me to tell you the truth? Let me tell you what I think, I think it's bullshit. You're not scared of loving me."
"Shut up." He takes another steps and I feel the bed bump into the back of me knees.
"You're scared of being loved by me."
"I told you to shut up."
"The thought makes your blood run so cold you'd do anything. Look at you. Wanting to push me away."
"Halcyon." His tone warns me. I shut up. I still think he's a liar. Sacred of loving me my ass.
"Admit it to me," I whisper, "tell me I'm right." His eyes drop to my lips. "Tell me the truth Tamir." He's hesitant, so very hesitant. His lips part and I cling onto his coming words but he says nothing.
He picks his eyes up from my lips then shifts his eyes away taking a few steps back. He's not going to admit it. His back turns as he walking away form me. "Pussy." I blurt. He stops mid stride and turns to me.
"You know what I'm going to do? Fucking tear that pussy of your to shreds." He reaches me then spins me around before bending me over. "How's that sound?" I feel two fingers of graze up my thighs. "Huh?" He leans in my ear as I feel his fingers enter me. "Where's that smart of yours?"
I gulp feeling my cheeks burn to the heat of him. "Miss know it all, tell me this." He speeds up. "In what world do you think you're living in to talk to me like that?" I can't even form an answer before he takes his fingers out and replaces it with impeccable tongue work. He's going too fast, weren't we just arguing?!
I clench the sheets tighter breathing into them hard. My injuries burn to life as blood rushes through me, all the little cuts, my head, my knees, hands, everywhere. "Tamir..." I feel myself twitch as he manages to arouse me some more.
He slide my lace down and just as I reach my perk he penetrates in me and plugs me up making my cry out. I throb feeling me knees go week. "Oh my gosh," I shut my eyes, my inside feel overflown, I'm dripping everywhere my juice searching for it's own escape.
"Where'd all that tough talk go?" He thrusts in me and my back aches to him.
"Damn it Tamir!" I almost scream. He pulls out half way just to thrust harder into me. "Ohhh!"
"I guess you fall in line when I'm in you." He grabs the skin of my ass using that to continually tear my insides up. "You know exactly who you belong to," he speeds up smacking our skin even more. "Don't you?"
"Yes." Drool escapes my mouth and I swallow hard. I hate when he tortures with the heat of my clothes.
"That's my pretty little doll." He leans into me pressing himself on my back and I feel his hips work up some more. I am very glad I riled him up, now he can take all that emotion out on me, right here right now. "You'll lose your ability to walk, and I'll send you home the same way."