I ask Sylvia that night if I can go to Melbourne with Lewis and Mrs Kozak, caught somewhere between hoping she'll say yes, and praying she won't and I'll have an excuse to stay as far away from Bellbird as possible.
She agrees instantly though, and I spend the next two days planning and packing, my stomach twisting with butterflies and nerves and Jake hovering over me like a dark cloud.
At first, Jake had been outwardly opposed to the trip, trying to convince Sylvia that I shouldn't go. But when that hadn't worked, he'd changed tactic and started following me around instead, asking question after question.
It's not that I didn't understand why he was being protective. He'd only just found out about Lewis and I, after all. But his worrying had started to become repetitive, and by Saturday morning, I was seconds away from screaming at him.
"So where exactly are you going to sleep in Melbourne?" he asks for the fifth time in two days, leaning against the doorframe to my room as I shove the last few items into my bag.
"In a bed."
"Yes, but whose bed?"
"Mine."
Jake ponders this for a second.
"Right. And where is Lewis going to sleep?"
"In his bed."
"Uh huh. And is that going to be the same bed as your bed or...?"
"Jake!" I round on him, trying to bite down on my frustration. "Stop being such a caveman. His mum is going to be there the whole time and she got a hotel with three seperate beds, okay? Lewis just invited me because he thought I might like to go back to Victoria."
Jake frowns at me.
"If that's why, I should've been invited too."
I shoot him a glare and he moves into my room, plonking down into my desk chair.
"And what am I supposed to do if Matt shows up while you're gone?"
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. I'd been trying to avoid thinking about Matt since Wednesday, and if I was being honest, I think Jake's fixation on the Melbourne thing may have been his attempt to do so too.
"He won't," I say softly. "I talked to Lewis and played up the whole thing. He said he'd keep Matt away. His cousins go to a private school on the North Shore and no one else knows them, so it should be easy enough. You're not going to have to worry about Matt. I promise."
Gravel crunches out the front of the house and then a car honks.
"Claude!" Sylvia yells up the stairs. "The Kozak's are here!"
I grab my phone, hauling my duffel bag onto my shoulder. Jake is still sitting on my bed glowering, and I ruffle his hair.
"Come on, cheer up. I'm only going to be gone for 36 hours. Why don't you invite Harper over? Or I'm sure Emmy and Aleisha will be going to the beach at some point."
"Yeah, I suppose," Jake grumbles.
"Claude!" Sylvia yells again.
"Coming!"
I give Jake a quick kiss on the cheek and run downstairs and out the door, only stopping long enough to say goodbye to Sylvia and ask that she watches over Jake while I'm gone.
...
When we reach Melbourne, Mrs Kozak, or Tarni, as she's now asked me to call her, goes straight to the studio to get her make-up and hair done, so Lewis and I are given three hours to do as we please.
After we've dropped our bags at the hotel, we head into the city, strolling around Queen Victoria Markets before heading to the Eureka Sky deck. The elevator take us up, and then up a bit further, until we're standing in a glass cube eighty-eight floors above the ground.
I step out onto the deck, head spinning as I look down, and a goofy grin springs onto my face.
"This is trippy."
Lewis comes up behind me, winding his hands around my waist and resting his chin on the top of my head.
"You haven't been here before?"
"Nah. Always had better things to do when we came to Melbourne. Besides, mum could never afford to let us go places like this. Too frivolous."
Lewis is quiet for a moment.
"Does being here make you miss her?"
I stare out at the city, glad he's standing behind me and can't see my face. I'm not sure if it's because Lewis is here, or because when I look east I can almost trick myself into seeing Bellbird, but the disgust that usually comes when people ask me that question is conspicuously absent.
"A bit," I say eventually. "But I usually try not to think about her. There's not much point."
Lewis's arms tighten around me.
"You know you can talk to me about her if you ever need. You don't always have to be so closed off about it."
He voice has the same tone as when he'd asked about Matt. It's not suspicion exactly, but more a foggy uncertainty, as if he knows the puzzle pieces Jake and I give him aren't always adding up.
I glance to the west, watching the suburbs extend away, getting closer and closer to Ravenhall with each tiny, ant-like rooftop that passes, and I feel the words rising in my mouth, the confession that would change everything.
But then I turn in Lewis's grip and sling my arms around his shoulders.
"Thank you," I say softly. "I find it hard to talk about her, and I don't want to while we're here, but I can try to more."
Lewis's expression softens, the uncertainty evaporating as quickly as it came, and I stretch up onto my tippy toes and kiss him, letting the space between our bodies begin to burn and simmer before I pull away again.
"We should probably start heading back to the studio. Don't want to miss your mum's slot."
Lewis lets out a loud breath, his grip tightening around me momentarily, and then he laughs.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay here and keep doing this?" he asks.
"Obviously. But otherwise we'll be late."
His grins at me, one that's full with wickedness, and I'm reminded why half the girls at my school apparently have a crush on him.
"Fine," he says, leaning down and murmuring in my ear. "But I really hope you plan to pick this back up later on."