CHAPTER NINETEEN
❝ torn apart ❞
"COME BACK TO me, sweetheart. Please, wake up."
Confusion swirled through Lucy's mind as she awoke to muffled pleading. She felt as if she was submerged underwater with bags of sand laying on top of her chest, holding her pinned to the ocean floor. Her lungs were aching and unsatisfied as she struggled to breathe in.
Her confusion quickly faded into panic when she realized that she couldn't even pry her eyes open. She had honestly thought that she was dead until she was finally able to weakly lift up her right hand.
But as a warm, calloused hand slid into her own, a strangely familiar sense of comfort washed over her.
"Okay, okay," the voice breathed out, relieved. "There you go, honey. Can you open your eyes for me?"
Honey. Bucky called her that. He claimed that the term of endearment was too fitting not to use, saying that she was even sweeter than the liquid gold.
A groan escaped her lips when she tried to open her eyes again. This time, she was successful, taking an excessive amount of blinks to clear the blurriness from her vision.
Lucy wasn't sure if she was hallucinating or not when she saw Bucky's face hovering over hers. Like a guardian angel. He was cradling her in his arms, his worried expression slightly softening as they locked gazes.
He breathed out a relieved chuckle, running a gentle hand through her hair before cupping her cheek. "That's it, there you go. Can you say something for me, Luce?"
Lucy didn't miss the desperation lacing Bucky's words. She opened her mouth to say his name but her vocal cords failed her and a series of distressed coughs ripped through her throat. Bucky hurriedly pulled her body upward, holding her against his chest while rubbing large circles on her back in hopes to alleviate the burning in her lungs.
Bucky whispered soft, reassuring words in her ear as a few painful tears escaped her eyes. He couldn't speak any louder, positive that his voice would simply shatter if he did.
When those guards threw Lucy into his cell, he had to push aside his urge to go and kill them all for handling her so roughly and instead focus on bringing her back to consciousness. Every thirty seconds, he kept placing two fingers on her wrist to check her pulse, terrified that her heart would stop beating right in front of him.
Because if hers did, Bucky was certain that his would have too.
After what seemed like forever, Lucy's grave coughs finally settled down, leaving heavy panting in its wake. She snaked her shaky arms around Bucky's torso and held him tightly, burying her head into his neck.
Bucky didn't hesitate to reciprocate her actions, wrapping his muscular arms around her frail body to pull her onto his lap. They held each other tightly, the only sound reflecting off of the concrete walls being shaky sniffles.
Lucy pulled her head back, her hands still weakly gripping Bucky, and spoke through the heavy dread weighing down her heart. "I-I can't tell if you're real or not."
The absolute fear and uncertainty in her voice sent a wave of agony through Bucky's chest, making it harder and harder to bite back the sob that threatened to spill past his lips.
Because he too shared the same fear.
He couldn't tell if she was real.
Of course, there was the irrational half of him that wanted her in his arms. For the past few months, he had been longing for his best girl. Wanting nothing more than to hold her and never let go, until the end of time.
But his heart, which overpowered selfish needs, wished she wasn't there. He wished that he was in Brooklyn with her, not in some HYDRA base where she would be suffering under their unforgiving torment.
So, maybe this was all some twisted illusion that Bucky's mind was making up as a coping method for his pain. And that was okay because all that mattered to him was that she was safe. Far, far away from the horrors of the war.
But the longer that he held onto her, the more real she felt.
And Lucy was coming to the same conclusion.
Without another word, Bucky finally leaned forward and captured her lips with his own, his heart torn between soaring and sinking at the feeling.
Lucy wrapped her arms around Bucky's neck, a tear escaping her eye as they broke apart. "You are real," she murmured with a sad smile.
She had been sheepishly hoping that her and Howard's work would somehow bring them to wherever the 107th Infantry was stationed. Dreams about the look of surprise on Bucky's face as he picked her up and spun her around taunted her each and every day.
Be careful what you wish for had never been more painstakingly true.
Bucky let a pained expression overcome his face. He carded his fingers through her hair, pressing a sincere kiss to her temple before leaning his forehead against her own.
"You shouldn't be here," he told her, his voice thick with emotion. "How are you here?"
The events leading up to that moment hit Lucy like a tidal wave. Last she could remember, she was on the plane with Howard, only to be ambushed by HYDRA. The SSR came to save them but then she got shot—
Lucy sucked in a sharp breath and held it, letting her eyes linger down to her side. There was blood splattering her clothes everywhere and the source of it came from right below her ribs.
Bucky watched her grasp onto the hem of her shirt, wincing as she lifted it. He could have sworn that his lungs had stopped working when he remembered what Zola had said before.
"It took us a while to stabilize her with the bullet wound she sustained."
"You got shot?!" Bucky's voice had raised an octave, causing Lucy to flinch at the sudden yell.
The bullet wound was not healing correctly. It was borderline purple with puss oozing out of the entrance. Bucky hovered his hands over the area, unable to tear his eyes away from the angry infection growing on his girlfriend's stomach.
When she saw his apologetic expression, Lucy shook her head. "It's okay," she whispered, dismissing his silent apology for making her jump. "God, I don't know how I didn't feel it when I first woke up. It feels like it's on fire now."
Bucky frowned, still inspecting the wound. "Okay, yeah, shit, that's gotta be infected, Luce. You probably didn't feel it because of the adrenaline."
She nodded, focused on lightly tracing the cuts and bruises on Bucky's face with her thumb. "What about you? What did they do to you?"
Bucky had completely forgotten about his own injuries the moment that he laid eyes on Lucy. He stopped and internally smiled at her concern, reaching a hand up to cup her cheek. "Don't worry about me, darlin'. I'm okay."
She leaned into his hand, allowing him to use his free one to prod around the area of her wound. Bucky apologized each time she winced from the contact. "Can you tell me what happened?"
Lucy nodded at his question, clearing her throat while collecting her thoughts. "Yeah, um, I was on a plane—"
"You were on a plane? Why the hell were you on a plane?"
Lucy stared at him, confused. "I've been traveling for the past few months with Howard Stark and the SSR. I wrote about it in my letters, Buck, remember?"
Bucky just stared at her, mouth agape as all of the pieces began connecting. The conversation he had overheard between Johann Schmidt and Arnim Zola made much more sense after hearing those words.
"...No, I haven't gotten a letter of yours in months because we've been movin' around and spendin' so much of our time in the trenches."
Lucy was shocked, the surprise evident on her face. "You haven't?"
"No, honey," Bucky told her, sliding his hand into hers. "I didn't know that you were working for Howard Stark. How did you even get the job?"
About to state the obvious, Lucy froze. Steve was supposed to write to him about being accepted, chosen for the serum, and ultimately becoming Captain America. But if Bucky wasn't getting any letters...
"That punk."
Bucky released a laugh at Lucy's words. He knew exactly who she was talking about. "How is Steve?"
Lucy rubbed at her forehead, feeling a headache blooming in her skull. "He's fine right now. But if I see him again, I will slap him upside the head. Hard."
Bucky was grinning now, finding it adorable how mad Lucy was at their pal. "What in the hell did he do?"
"Well, he was gonna write it in a letter and send it to you but then he chickened out the first time. Then, when I pestered him for a while to write to you, he finally agreed. I'll never know if he wrote it and you just never got it or if he's just a little—"
"Luce," Bucky kindly stopped her. "I love you, honey, but you're rambling a bit."
She scrunched her nose up and clamped her mouth shut. "Right, sorry. Anyways, he, uh, kind of got accepted into the Army and was chosen for an experiment that made him into a super-soldier. He's... taller than you now. To put it simply."
"..."
"Bucky?"
"He what?!"
───
Lucy spent the next hour explaining the past few months to Bucky. He stayed silent nearly the entire time, listening more intently than he ever did to any of his teachers throughout high school. She had her back to Bucky's and his arms wrapped around her, holding a ripped piece of his shirt against her wound.
"... And that brings us to where we are now."
She turned around after hearing no response, met with the sight of Bucky biting his lip and staring off into space. "Buck? Please tell me that you heard all of that. I really don't wanna tell that whole story again."
He snapped out of his trance, locking eyes with her to slowly nod. "Yeah, yeah. I heard it. I'm just trying to wrap my head around it."
"Honestly, me too." A puff of laughter escaped her. "But Captain America will always be the little guy from Brooklyn to me. Even if his biceps are bigger than my head now."
Bucky chuckled at that. He brushed a piece of blonde hair from Lucy's face and sighed. "I can't believe I didn't find out until now."
"I still can't believe that I was the one to tell you. If I see Steve again I swear—"
"You will," Bucky gently interrupted her.
Lucy frowned. "What?"
Bucky was looking at her with pure distress in his eyes. "You keep saying if. You will get out of here and see Steve again."
The two just sat in silence for a moment. Lucy's expression softened. She knew that there was a slim chance of her getting out of the facility safely. "Buck, they're gonna question me about the serum. And they're not gonna be nice about it."
He ran a hand through his unruly hair, stressed and unsure of what to say. "I... I won't let them touch you, Lucy."
"You can't promise that, Bucky."
Bucky clenched his jaw, the muscles tensing up as his teeth ground together. She was right, and that made him feel sick to his stomach.
He always promised her that no one else was going to lay a hand on her, still guilty about the fact that he didn't get her away from Thomas sooner. He promised.
Although lately, he seemed to be breaking all of his promises.
Lucy saw how tense he was and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his lips while wrapping her arms around his neck. "Promise me one thing?"
At that, Bucky pulled her even closer. "Anything," he said, with no hesitation.
"Promise me that you won't try to intercept if they do come to take me," she quietly begged.
Bucky didn't say anything. He pulled back and stared at her with a hurt expression. "Lucy—"
"Bucky, there's too many of them. I don't want them hurting you because you're trying to protect me—"
"How the fuck am I supposed to just watch them take you, Lucy? I'm not doing that."
"Bucky—"
"I'm not promising you that, okay?!"
Lucy shut her mouth and silently looked down at her lap, knowing that it was stupid to even ask him such a question. Bucky was insanely protective over her, even if that meant he would get hurt in the process.
Bucky took a moment to calm himself before squeezing Lucy's hand with a sigh. "I'm sorry. I just... I've broken too many promises lately and I can't let them lay their hands on you again. I can't lose you."
Lucy nodded in understanding, allowing for him to engulf her in a comforting hug. She closed her eyes, pretending for just a moment that they were back in Brooklyn, laying in bed and basking in each other's presence as the sun began to rise.
Bucky pulled his head back, still holding her close. He studied her face; the way that her plump lips parted ever so slightly and how airy freckles dotted the tip of her nose, right where he would press his kisses.
Each feature made his heart swoon with love. He would never fail to feel as if he was standing at the top of the world if he had Lucy Everhart by his side.
"Marry me," he blurted.
Lucy's eyes grew wide, unsure if what she just heard was right. "...What?"
Bucky traced her jaw with two fingers, sliding them over her supple skin until reaching the underneath of her chin to tilt her face up. "Marry me, Lucy."
"Well, isn't this nice."
The couple's eyes snapped over in the direction of the sudden voice, startled at the sight of Johann Schmidt standing with a mass of soldiers by his side. The Nazi had a wicked grin on his face, observing the two prisoners as if they were his prey.
Which, in a sense, they were.
Bucky scrambled to his feet, pulling Lucy up with him and protectively pushing her behind his back. Lucy held onto the sides of Bucky's forest green henley, peeking over her boyfriend's shoulder with wide, fearful eyes.
"I didn't know that you were so... acquainted with our soldier, Lucy Everhart."
Both stayed silent. Bucky glanced between Schmidt and his soldiers, his eyes narrowing angrily when he saw their eyes stray to Lucy. Lucy didn't understand how Schmidt knew her name but it sent a shiver up her spine regardless.
"Not big on talking, I see," Schmidt reiterated. "I hate to interrupt, but Doctor Zola has big plans for the two of you."
On cue, the HYDRA agents all began stalking toward the couple. Bucky backed him and Lucy over to the farthest wall, attempting to put as much distance between them and the soldiers as possible.
Bucky balled his right hand into a fist and swung it at the first agent who reached them. The Nazi stumbled back as Bucky's fist cracked into his cheekbone. Unfortunately for Bucky, more agents began flooding the cell, those who would no doubt overpower the already weak brunette.
While Bucky was fighting, a few men got through his barricade and grabbed Lucy by the arms, roughly pulling her away from Bucky.
"Get off me!" Lucy squirmed in their grasp, successfully kicking the agent in front of her right in the groin. Before she could jab her elbow into the man behind her, she felt an arm snake around her throat and a hand press straight into her wound.
White-hot pain clouded her vision. Lucy released a mix between a scream and a sob at the feeling of the HYDRA agent twisting his finger right where the bullet pierced her earlier.
Bucky's head shot up at the sound of her distress, allowing the agent in front of him to deliver a blow right to his cheek. It caught Bucky off guard, making him stumble as they grabbed both of his arms and restrained him.
Regardless, he saw red and thrashed around in their grip. "Hey! Get the fuck off of her, you son of a bitch!"
The arm around Lucy's throat tightened, effectively cutting off her airflow. Her mind began to shut down because of the searing pain still emitting from her side.
"Take them to separate rooms," Schmidt instructed his men. "The Doctor will certainly be happy with these two as his test subjects."
Lucy and Bucky were dragged out of the cell, their panic increasing as they were pulled in opposite directions.
"No," Lucy whimpered, trying to keep herself from passing out.
"Don't touch her, just let her go and use me!"
Bucky's voice was becoming muffled. Lucy faintly heard him shouting as the HYDRA agents continued to drag her in the other direction.
"You fucking bastards! I'll kill you if you touch her! Lucy!"
Then, nothing.
AUTHOR'S NOTE!
i swear i don't mean to keep ending these chapters with cliffhangers i'm so sorry.
anyways, poor bucky and lucy, i can never seem to give them a break :(
i'll be updating every sunday/monday from now on!
i'm leaving for college in a few days, but i'll try my best to keep up with my updates.
thank you for reading!
<3 mal