| Eleanor |
Hurt.
I was. .hurt.
Pathetically and irrevocably hurt.
Whatever transpired that day, i was feeling trapped in a bubble. The shit he hurled my way, it made me feel trapped . .cut off from the world.
Or maybe I didn't want to be a part of the world yet.
The pretend-world.
Where I had to act prim and proper. Adjust my emotions according to people. I had lost the will to pretend.
Hissing at people for crossing my path, on the verge of losing my shit if they so much as looked at me—nothing made sense!
Everything made sense before him!
What the hell changed now?
The sky wasn't blue enough, food didn't feel good enough and. .my friend didn't feel like a friend enough. .
I had this feeling like—like I lost something precious of mine.
Absurd!
To make matters worse, I had bottled up everything in me from the past one week. Each time Willow gave me that concerned look. .the what's wrong? look. .I would get this urge to spill. To lighten up my heart but my pride would jump in.
What is he to you?!
He never gave any name to the relationship! No "friends"! No "lovers"!
Why the frack would I accept it out loud that it was a certain man who was the culprit behind my pissy mood? Why acknowledge him?
And then i would pull myself back and give her the fakest smile I could conjure. I knew she was worried but she seemed in waiting.
Showing restraint.
For me.
And . . Ryan.
This one week felt like a lucid dream. I had no idea of my surroundings. I was performing the daily chores like a machine.
Mechanical and lifeless.
Yes, I knew I knew we had no relationship between us except of each other confidente. He had never sent a green signal my way so why was I being so caught up with him?
The hot senior had been avoiding me like I was the definition of the plague! If I turned right, he would turn left. If he saw me coming, he would leave. .
And every time he did, a slice of my heart would break away. Fall off.
I would catch him laughing with doe eyed girls and it would pierce my heart.
I couldn't help but ask. .
Why can't you laugh with me?
Why can't you look at me?
How could he act as if he didn't know me? When I had been the one he shared his heart with.
Half his heart—a crumb of it!
All I did was put the stupid boy in his place!
Occupying the worn out couch, I couldn't help but wonder who the hell was he? The second he entered on the horizon, Ryan drifted away from me.
Ryan. .soft speaking Ryan suddenly converted into a fire breathing dragon.
Maybe I shouldn't have butted in. Him being a man and all. .maybe he got embarrassed because of me going hulk on the boy—
But Ryan never gave me that kinda vibes.
I sat up, rubbing my temples to soothe the approaching headache. Men could only give two things to women.
Babies and a headache!
No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much I missed him. .I had to be a mature adult and let go of him. .but then again he was never mine to let go of.
"That's it!" I growled fiercely. " I would never take his name! Never let him walk over me! Never—,"
My phone begin to vibrate on the couch.
Sighing, I grabbed my phone and accepted the call.
"Yeah?"
I could hear music and screaming.
"Eleanor!"
Willow's voice was laced with panic.
"Will?! What happened?! Did Mark do —"
"Reach the club! It's Ryan!"
Ryan?
My brows knotted.
"I'm done with his ass. Don't care if—"
"He's dying!"
The cellphone nearly slipped out of my grip.
My blood got cold. I couldn't feel the tips of my fingers. The beat beat of my heart rushed in my ears. A chill like no other descended upon me.
"Eleanor?! Are you there—,"
Her voice cut off in the middle and the line went dead.
I didn't care about what I vowed a few seconds back. Up on feet, I dived towards my sneakers . Got my sling purse and a pepper spray.
Chanting everything holy, I was out the door at 11:00 PM.
×××××××××××
A single girl hailing a cab and not getting harrassed?
Oh no! That's too much to ask for!
Sick to my bones and trying not to scream out of worry or cry, I didn't sign up for a peeping tom. It just wasn't the day of ignorance for me.
The tom kept gawking at me in the mirror.
People who talked with their tongues could be lashed upon but these kinda men? The silent sack of shits?
I did try to be a good little girl and let him gawk for two minutes straight.
That was already stretching it.
So,
Snapping my neck from the passing by sceneries, I looked straight up in the mirror.
Shocking him for a second.
Catching him.
Hastily, he dropped his gaze like I just didn't catch him.
"I have no idea what gives you the right to stare at me but see . .try not to look my way again if you don't want me to strangle you by your very own testicles." I said it all with a gentle smile, a cherry on top.
I had discovered quite long ago, I had a psycho impact on people when I threatened with smile.
The kind man didn't look at me again.
×××××××××××
Staring up at the blinging sign, I so didn't want to step into this mess again. Last time I had checked in, someone almost got raped and tonight I had no mood of being a vigilante!
In a pissed off mood for breaking my vows in mere seconds and also why the hell did she call me if he was dying or being taken hostage by aliens!
I shoved away a skinny girl with my elbow.
"Hey watch it!" She spat , rubbing her arm spot.
"Make me!" I yelled back because the music was bouncing around making it hard to listen to people and bitches.
I had a feeling.
The real bitch was me, I was purposely trying to pick up fights so I could hurl abuses their way.
One man.
It took one man to spiral me out of control!
××××××××××××××××
A/N
Wanted to share
Woke up to this
Remember guys, hard work never goes to waste. I started with The Curious Case Of Dennis and here we are now.