I had just arrived on set. They had to fill me with runes and fix my hair and makeup. I had breakfast with Sean this morning and I wanted to hear his new song with him but he preferred me to listen to it alone.
So I told myself it was time.
-Guys is it a problem if I play a song?- I asked the makeup artists, hairstylist and Lola who were in the roulotte with me.
-Your boyfriend's new song? Sure why not- Lola joke making everyone laugh.
I put my spotify on and started the song from the phone.
It begin a slight sound of a piano. I recognized the notes, I had heard them at home many times.
"In the darkness and in the light of day
In the perfect silence while it pours rain
On the level of the sea above the roof of the world
Light years away or a second apart
And so to infinity losing count
Keep the kiss
Beyond the mistake of time
Make it something eternal
Don't drop neither a single fragment
Like dust on the floor"
The song was about a kiss that you wanted to last forever. And Sean was afraid to let me hear it.
"Do not detach your lips even for a single second
And do not be distracted by the background noise
Because in the end every time
It is love that saves us
From the wound of the world"
Love. He used the word love in what he says is an album that I inspired.
Now that I think about it, he has used it many times.
"And feel only the heart and the evil no longer exists
And there is no more pain
Only me only you
This silence feel like a thousand words
And I would stay here listening to you for hours
For years a single second
And if you look at me
I realize that
In the end every time
It is only love that saves us
From the wound of the world"
With my eyes closed I could relive it. His lips on mine, the silence of an empty house.
"Protect it to the roots
From indecisive steps and sudden storms
From moments of crisis and unhappy jokes
From those people who pretend to be friends
From the jealousy others
From ignorant judgments
From crazy splinters that arrive
From all sides"
This song tasted different, I understood a lot more than what it said.
Protect the kiss from people who say it was fake, that it really was but our hearts don't know it. Protect what we have because it will be taken away from us.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it was written by someone else and Sean just wrote the music. Or maybe he was telling me he loved me.
"And from the repetition of the days that are not worth a memory
Keep the kiss and don't leave it even for a second
And the more I stay here looking at you the more I realize
It is love that saves us from the wound of the world"
The song ends, but I still wonder which part is real and which is not.
"Treat me with care" starts soon after, and I let it go to listen to it again, to hear it and maybe really understand it.
"I grew up distant from common rules
That do not apply to everyone, only to some
Like a deer without a herd, an alien among the people
It is different if you look at me under another lens
A boundless land between a beginning and a goodbye
And all that in the middle rarely it has been mine
Like a tree that changes color every season
A voice that is lost among millions of people
I have looked for beauty even inside every mistake
Like a branch that breaks but grows back towards the sun
Different from everything that I previously knew
With my head on the earth, under my feet the sky, the sky"
Here he was talking about himself. When he felt lost and how every now and then he still felt that way.
"And now that you know
Treat me with care
Cause love is a gun without safety
And now that you know who I really am
That the darkness some nights still scares me
And although I show myself invulnerable
I'm just differently fragile
And now that you know I took off my defense
That's why now you
Treat me with care"
Love, again. He used this word from the beginning. In this song he speaks of it as something that ultimately hurts someone, later he says he has learned that love can save.
"I learned too quickly to defend myself from all
Heal with my cut even without the stitches
To keep everything inside, to have only myself
Cause no one in this world gives you anything
In the most normal things instead of looking for them elsewhere
I walked the distance from who I am to who I was
To understand that you are what I really want"
All this time he sang our relationship and I pretended they were just fictional words.
But part of me kept telling me I was right. They are just words, situations that were less than they seemed and some exaggerated emotion. And I don't know why that part of me seemed more right than the other.
I didn't want to be disappointed so it had to be right.
-He really loves you a lot, doesn't he?- Lola said smiling. I wiped the tear that had escaped me but which fortunately only one of the makeup artists had seen.
-I really think so-
"And I'll take the same care for you
And I'll take the same care for you
And I'll take the same care for you
And I'll take the same care for you
Me too for you"
Please Sean, mean what you sing.