Defeated - Lost (KuroKen)

By WolfShadowe

79 3 2

All he wanted was for Kuroo to hug him. Yet when the cat got closer he screamed. "GO AWAY!" He couldn't handl... More

Defeated - Lost

79 3 2
By WolfShadowe


Okay, so a little warning:
This is pretty angsty and yes, I'm crying right now >﹏<
Also, this is my first time writing angst, but I think I did "good" at least my heart shattered a "little".

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"Kuro, I'm home!"

The blond walked through the door of their shared apartment almost forgetting to take his shoes off before he entered. He remembered in time before the other would notice and quickly put them aside. He could hear silent footsteps walking towards him but he didn't pay them much attention.
Lectures had been too time-consuming, classes too boring and the contact with other students way too exhausting. All the boy wanted to do was to fall down on his bed and play games.

Yet a small, tiny part of him dreamed about cuddling with his roommate, but that would just distract him and the setter would end up losing the game. He wasn't in the mood to deal with frustration. He simply walked past Kuroo and the Kitchen, which earned him a look of disapproval, straight to his room.

Just a few minutes later the small body painted a dark silhouette against the blue light of his monitors and his fingers flew over the keyboard causing a flesh of colors and lights all over the screen. The cat-like eyes were fixated on the rapidly changing objects in front of him and he instantly analyzed the information coded in color and noise.

Outside in the 'real' world these kinds of impulses and information, unpredictable and out of control, drain him quickly, but here inside his room, he was safe, in control. At least he was supposed to be.

The longer he played the more frustrated he got, his fingers pushing the buttons harder and faster until he almost slammed them into the desk. He hadn't lost once yet his anger increased with every fucking round. No matter what he tried it didn't work.

This was supposed to calm him. It was supposed to distract him from the misery his damn life had become. Why couldn't Kenma just concentrate on his game for once?

He grew more and more agitated by the seconds until finally after ten more minutes his screen darkened announcing his defeat. However, the small student did nothing more but stare, incapable to process the information on hand. DEFEATED, LOST!
He had lost. He had lost everything.

Kenma hadn't noticed the tears, that had started forming during playing, and now ran freely over his cheeks. They burned hot tracks into the soft skin, and it felt like acid.

Why?
Why in hell was he doing this?
Why did he even continue attending classes?
What was the point?

He was just a useless, anti-social shut-in, too afraid to go outside without his best friend, and yet he had to. Had to attend these stupid classes in this stupid university, alone. Always alone.

A noise got his attention. He didn't need to turn around to know that it was Kuroo leaning against his door frame while looking at him suspiciously. He could practically see the smirk on his face mixed with a bit of concern, well hidden in these warm, chocolate brown eyes, could almost hear the teasing words "Hey kitten lost again?" and the question he'd normally avoid to his best abilities: "Is everything alright? that's pretty unlike...you.".

And normally he would do everything to hide his worries, concerns, and his pain, but today he couldn't help but break. He cried harder and harder, his whole body was violently shaking with sobs. Tears stained his desk and equipment, but he didn't care all he wanted was for Kuroo to hug him. Kenma wanted him to hold his trembling body against his chest, to kiss the tears away, and gently caress his skin, love him, reassure him, and never let go.

Yet when the cat got closer he screamed.
"GO AWAY!"

He couldn't handle this, none of this. It wasn't fair.
Why him?
Why did it hurt so bad?

He asked himself over and over again, even though he knew the answer: It hurt like hell because he loved him.

Meanwhile, Kuroo ignored his outburst and quickly climbed onto his lap. The black cat curled itself up in a ball and allowed Kenma to almost crush him in a tight embrace.

The setter held onto the little creature as if it was his life as if it was the real Kuroo. But the real Kuroo was gone.
This cat, which was too similar to his human counterpart for his own good, was all Kenma had left.


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Notes:

Soooo I hope you... "liked" it?
I'd be happy to hear your thoughts in the comments. (p≧w≦q)

Greetings Anneita
(^///^)

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