SEVEN ;
blackmail
real life !
When the hour mark finally arrived, Evelyn and Wilbur had already abandoned doing anything productive, instead choosing to get a head start on getting to know each other.
"You're telling me that you're best friends with Georgenotfound and you genuinely have no idea about what happens on the dream smp?" Wilbur asked from his spot on the floor behind the counter. "I thought you said you watch all of his streams...oh damn, never mind. That actually explains a lot. George and smp lore are...complicated."
Evelyn shrugged and continued spinning on the stool she sat on. "Yeah, I guess. Sometimes they just play on the background but usually they're not...um, lore streams."
"That's fair. I thought Sapnap told you about the lore, though?"
"He's actually only given me a spark notes version of who's on the Smp. I don't actually know much about what you guys do...besides you starting a country, apparently."
"L'manberg," he confirmed. "Me and my...Tommy started it together. We're actually going to war with Dream because he's a little bitch boy."
Evelyn narrowed her eyes at him playfully, "your Tommy?"
She watched on in amusement as his ears turned red. "Shut up. He's...well, basically he's my little brother but if you bring it up I will start crying, so please refrain from doing so."
"I'll keep that in mind. Just know that can and will be used against you—,"
"Hey! That's not fair at all! I don't have anything to blackmail you with so I think that you should either tell me something embarrassing or let me erase your memory."
"How would you even do option two?"
Wilbur hesitated, "I don't know. Push you down a few flights of stairs or something?"
"What the hell!?"
He raised his hands in surrender, laughing loudly at the exasperated look on her face. "Relax. I'm just kidding! Sort of. At least about pushing you down the stairs. You do seem to be at an advantage, though, and in the eyes of the law that is just not fair."
"I don't care. You threatened to push me down the stairs you don't get any blackmail information from me."
Wilbur sighed and pulled his phone out, "Fine. Whatever...George says that if you make me cry I can just force feed you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as payback."
"I—huh? He told you to murder me!?"
"Wait...you're allergic to peanut butter!? George told me you just don't like the taste!"
"And you believed him? George is my worst enemy, Wil! Don't ever trust anything he says ever. Oh my god I can't believe you both just threatened my life—,"
Wilbur waved her off as his phone chimed. "He said you're not deathly allergic to it so...really you just guilted me for no reason. You just hurt my heart Ev and I don't think i'll ever recover from this."
"I think you're going to be just fine. Anyways, it's been an hour and I don't think it's going to get any busier, so I can go ahead and lock up now."
"Alright, sounds good. Do you need any help?"
"No, it's alright. Thank you though. It won't take long."
While she finished closing up the store, Wilbur patiently waited out front. He was subtly watching a couple as they happily made their way down the street, arms linked and matching smiles on their faces. He had to bite his lip to suppress the smile as he watched the man spin her outwards and then pull her back into his chest.
"They're a cute couple. Do you know them?" Evelyn asked, startling Wilbur out of his thoughts. He glanced down at her and shook his head softly.
"No, just people watching. It's one of my favorite past times, you know?"
"I did not," she replied. "But that's kind of the whole point of our little adventure, isn't it?"
Wilbur shrugged, "Sure. Or maybe it's just my excuse to hang out with a pretty girl."
Evelyn laughed softly and rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever you say, Wil. Come on, let's go before it starts raining. Rumor has it you'll melt in the water."
"Another slanderous lie told by our dear friend George, i'm afraid," he sighed, wiping away a nonexistent tear.
She shrugged in response and proceeded to grab his sleeve and drag him forewords, "Guess we'll find out later. Come on, let's go to this little cafe down the street. I'm convinced they use the little hot chocolate packets but it doesn't matter because it still tastes good."
Wilbur followed behind her, tempted to just let her drag him by his hand instead. "Have you asked if it was the packets before?"
"Oh, absolutely. Jan, the owner, will deny it even on her deathbed. But trust me, I know it's not homemade. And there's nothing wrong with that! But I don't know why she won't just accept defeat. This is an argument that's been happening since I was seven years old, by the way."
He narrowed his eyes at her in amusement, "and you're what? Twenty four?"
"Nearly, but the other day someone told me I looked like a fourteen year old. I wasn't sure if it was a compliment or an insult, but I assumed he meant it in a nice way."
"You're telling me you've been having the same argument for seventeen years?"
She nodded, "I have. And I won't stop until she admits defeat, even if it takes another twenty years."
"I respect that."
When they arrived at the small café, it had just started to barely rain on them, but neither of them seemed to care. They were too busy quietly pointing out random people and making up ridiculous stories about them to notice the incoming storm.
"I'm telling you, Will. If anyone here is an axe murdering psychopath with a secret torture basement, it's him," Evelyn said quietly as they entered the familiar restaurant. "Just look at him! Nobody willingly gets that haircut unless they're trying to prove that they're innocent."
"I think your logic might be flawed, but for some reason I can't help but agree."
"I'm glad you agree," she replied with a smile, before waving happily at an elderly lady standing behind the counter.
"Jan, I presume?" Wilbur asked as the made their way over.
"No, that's her sister, Lena," She paused and pointed an accusing finger towards another lady who was just coming out of the kitchen. "That's Jan."
Wilbur eyed the older woman curiously, mildly worried that she was going to kick them out based on the daggers she was shooting Evelyn. That worry quickly went away when she stopped in front of them, scowl morphing into a fond smile.
"And to think I was getting ready to argue with you! Oh, love, next time just let me know you're bringing a date and I won't give you death glares from across the room! I am so embarrassed now! Give a girl some time to prepare next time!" Jan exclaimed, pressing a hand over her heart. "Hello, darling! I'm Jan, i'm sure Evie here has told you horrible things about me," she paused and shot him a quick wink. "They're all true, by the way. It's so lovely to meet you! The last boy turned out to be a...what did you call him, dear? A low life man whore? Doesn't matter, he's banned for life. You're a very handsome young man, what's your name?"
Wilbur ran a hand through his curls before shaking her outstretched hand, "I'm Wilbur."
"Lovely, my name is Jan, and that," she pointed to the woman behind the counter, "is my sister, Lena. I must say, I am extremely curious as to where our dear Evie found a man like you—,"
"Jan," Evelyn interrupted with a scowl, "this is my friend. I met him when I had to drive George to his friend date. Stop being weird, i'm begging you."
Jan frowned, "Where is George these days? It's been too long since he's stopped by and i'm this," she pinched her fingers close together, "close to going to his house and yelling at him."
"I think you should do that," Wilbur said, clearly amused. "He has it coming for not visiting you lovely ladies."
Jan smiled at him and reached up to pat his shoulder, "Oh, aren't you the charmer! Careful, Evie, I might just snatch him up from you if you're not careful!"
Evelyn rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, "You might want to ask if he's into older women, first. It's rude to assume, you know."
"Thats a fair point—,"
"Besides," Evelyn continued, making the older woman stop talking. "Claire would literally be heartbroken. You two have been married for longer than i've been alive, and...no offense, Wil, but Claire could absolutely take you in a fight."
Jan only waved her off in response, before gesturing towards a booth tucked into the back of the cafe. "Go and sit, Lena and I will be there shortly."
"Both of you? I don't feel like that's necessary. Ive ordered the same thing since I was a kid—,"
"Go sit, darling. Or i'll call your mum and tell her you got eloped and didn't tell her."
"What the fuck!? Jan—,"
Wilbur glanced at them in amusement, before grabbing Evelyns hand and pulling her towards the booth. "That was getting painful to watch."
"I think she has finally lost her mind," She announced, shooting a glare at the older woman who wasn't even looking in their direction. "I can't believe she threatened to tell my mum on me, I mean, how old is she!?"
Wilbur shrugged, "and I can't believe you have beef with an old lady."
"It's a rivalry. Not beef."
He held up his hands in mock surrender, smile never leaving his face. "My bad, Evie. Didn't mean to make your downplay your rivalry."
Evelyn hummed, before propping her head up on her hands. "So, tell me. Are you into old ladies?"
A/N
THIS CHAPTER HAS TAKEN ME SO LONG TO FINISH AND FOR THE LONGEST TIME ITS BEEN LIKE 75% DONE WTF IS WRONG WITH ME