There are times in a person's life where they know that things are about to change, irrevocably, undeniably. When each path is laid out before you as threads on a tapestry, begging for you to follow them through to your destiny.
There are times where you can see the sudden crash of waves across the paths in the sand, wiping away everything that you had left behind. Washing clean the very impression of every step that you had taken before. Leaving no trace that you had ever stepped down this path.
And then there are the times when life leaves you blinded. Walking forward with hands held aloft. Asking you to trust your own instincts even as you are robbed of your senses. Given only the vague sense of foreboding claustrophobia as the darkness weighs heavier with every passing breath.
Whether this was any of these, I would never be able to tell. And even if I could tell, it's doubtful that it would have changed anything.
After all, I was nothing special. There were no heroes in my ancestry, no legacies to fulfill. Except for maybe that one guy whose name I can't pronounce, we think he might have been some kind of rich dude, but that was a pretty distant relation and our family can't prove it anyways. Which was really a let down to my parents, let me tell you. They were hoping for some kind of payout or knighting ceremony or something, who knows.
But to get back on topic, I was nothing special. I wasn't handsome, or beautiful, or strong, or courageous. No unique prophecy claiming that I was the chosen one. I'm not the sort of person that these sorts of stories are usually written about. Honestly, I was just trying to live my life and avoid falling behind on my bills. Which was tough when you consider that I just worked at the local convenience store, Barney's, named for the man who owned it, Joseph Barnabas. Minimum wage, no job security, hardly any benefits. And I haven't had a single paid day's vacation in my life.
All twenty four years of it.
I was an average student in high school, I played a year of soccer at that level, but I'm pretty sure it was just because they didn't have enough people try out anyways. I didn't bother the next year. I managed a few honors classes, so maybe there was potential there, but never really felt like I needed to put in the effort. So for the most part, I just coasted, hung out with my relatively small group of friends. Wasting away time until I could get out and find a way out of my small hometown.
When the teachers tell you that something is important, please listen to them. It's a bitch to try getting into anything but a junior college if you don't have something special about you.
So that's what I did. Junior college. Ended up dropping out of that shortly after moving out of my parent's place, having tried to go to some fancy big city, where the living wages were high enough to choke the life out of anyone who didn't make more than six figures in a year. It didn't take me long before I was moving back, head hung low.
You know how you hear all those success stories of people who became billionaires without graduating college, crafting grand companies from their garages, I call bullshit on that. The majority of us just end up trying to get by. Living paycheck to paycheck.
You could say that life was pretty lackluster. But it was life. I wasn't drowning in debt, so I counted that as a win. Especially when I could occasionally splurge on something nicer for myself.
I honestly think that's where things started to go wrong.
Working the store meant that I had lulls between the main rushes, they never really lasted very long, but a good enough time that I could occasionally waste my time scrolling through deals on my phone, flipping between three different apps. There were times where I got really good deals on higher end items that I could have never afforded otherwise. I actually got this really cool computer for gaming that way, and had a blast with it whenever I got a chance to go home and decompress.
Which, let's be honest, was pretty often. Not having much of a social life thanks to the scattered schedule that I worked. And the fact that the majority of the friendships I had made in high school had died as soon as we all graduated.
But this time, I wasn't really looking for anything in particular, just trying to waste a few more minutes before I had to go and mop up the bathroom (ick. No, just really, ick. Have you ever had to encounter a gender neutral bathroom after people have their morning coffee mixed with some unholy burrito that has been left in that freezer for who knows how long? It's not pretty.) My eyes half glassed over, my thumb working on autopilot, I almost ended up scrolling past the talisman.
Sometimes I really wish that I had, would have saved me loads of trouble in the long run.
But something about it caught my attention enough that I ended up scrolling back up.
'For sale: A replica of the Rasputin Reliquary. $15'
Now, usually I would just keep scrolling past this. It wasn't anything special, just a replica, if a really good one. But I thought maybe it might be something cool to show off to my girlfriend, Miranda, who was into that sort of thing.
So, after doing a quick review of the seller's ratings, I pressed purchase. If nothing else, it made for a cool trinket if Miranda decided that she didn't like it. Could stick it on my desk and forget about it. Like many other of the collectibles and gadgets that I gravitated to now and then. Shipping said it would take about seven business days.
Done.
I went back to my normal day, dealt with the evening rush before passing the keys off to my manager Rafael to let them finish out the work day. Managing to drown out his griping about how numbers were down even further ever since the superstore opened up down the street.
Not like we didn't know that it was coming for the past two years, thanks to the construction congesting up traffic even further. But there was no arguing with him, so it was in my best interest to nod and smile my way through yet another awkward encounter. Slowly backing away the entire time as his voice grew dimmer with every step.
My drive home was just as boring and uneventful as the rest of my day, managing to slip through high traffic times, and I pretty much just made myself something quick out of the leftovers I could scrounge through in my fridge. Then plopped myself down in front of the television. Some reality clean up show then ended up convincing me to clean up enough that evening, while convincing myself through a rather compelling argument that I was not a hoarder, that I got a full load of laundry done and actually folded and put away (a minor miracle in and of itself).
So when I closed my eyes for the night, I was feeling good.
Funny how that feeling never really seems to last very long.
The next day, just before I had to get ready for my shift, Miranda ended up breaking up with me over text. Said that she was seeing someone else, and I would never compare. I was too boring. We never did anything fun. I was never willing to go out with her to parties, or other social events. I couldn't exactly argue those things, so I just let her go. Wished her well, then blocked her number.
I may not be much, but no one could call me desperate.
Ended up calling off work, claiming that I was sick. My boss wasn't happy, but, at the very least, work policy had me covered without a doctor's note for a few days, so I had a day or two to collect the dredges of my soul and self esteem. Which meant that I had a day or two to pull myself up by the bootstraps after some hard earned moping. And considering my entire lack of a social life, it wasn't like anyone was going to call me up to ask for my presence. The most I really had to worry about was my mom catching word of it on the wind and forcing her condolences onto me.
So I just silenced my phone. Easy peasy.
First stop was the grocery store at the opposite end of town, in search of comfort foods. Begrudgingly tugging on my sweats and praying I had a shirt that didn't have stains. When I couldn't find any that were clean and not in the hamper, I settled for a sweater to hide the worst of the stains on my cleanest available shirt. Shrugging and tying back my hair out of my face. Having let it grow just long enough that it was a bother and always in my eyes.
Halfway through the drive, the hair band snapped, careening through the car with the speed of a bullet and making me flinch hard enough to swerve into the roadside ditch.
Really not my day. As you can imagine.
A quick check of the car showed me that I didn't really have any outward damage that couldn't just be buffed out with a bit of wax. So that was a relief at least, even if it was a little bit of an inconvenience. But at least it wasn't anything that required my immediate attention. Or a trip to the shop that would cost me more than a pretty penny out of my next paycheck.
Maneuvering my car out of the ditch took a little bit of time, more than a pinch of luck, and some quick thinking, but I did eventually manage it. And back on my merry way I went.
Something you should probably know about my car, I had bought it almost brand new from a dealer almost five years ago. I do my best to take care of it, but things happen, and sometimes there isn't enough money to pay to fix things. It was by no means a junker, and was extremely comfortable, but it didn't have a great deal of amenities either. Just the basics. And by basics, I mean the stereo played cd's and connected to my bluetooth, but half the time didn't really work anyways. And the other half, it auto connected to my phone and was ready to play music to help drown out the sound of the engine.
So when the stereo started to play on full blast, it took me a full minute to realize that I hadn't turned it on, nor turned on the music app to start my driving playlist. Not that I really minded, after all, I had pretty much just forgotten to turn it on after restarting the car. So maybe it was a fluke. I let the music keep playing, and just fiddled with the knob to turn it down a little. Focusing on singing along with the lyrics rather than losing my temper at the lack of parking spaces available at the store.
It took awhile, but I managed a spot at the end of the lot. A little walking never killed anyone. So off I went into the store and barely managing to avoid getting hit with a stray cart as it careened away from the curb it had been strung up on. Stray carts will be the death of us all one day, mark my word. Deciding that it was easier to keep it, rather than go searching for one of my own upon entrance to the store, or force some other poor minimum wager to go chasing it down the parking lot. I made my way directly to the ice cream section. Grabbing up a few pints of my favorite strawberry cheesecake, ignoring the looks tossed my way, then a few necessities as well to help me make it through the week.
The rest of my day was pretty nondescript. Passing out after finishing one of the cartons, and enjoying a quick nap, despite the odd dreams that nagged at me after I woke. Even as I couldn't really remember anything except the broad strokes of them. And a single name echoing through my head, Calial.
Which didn't really sound like a name at all, but it did bring to mind a jingle from an advertisement, so there was really no hope of getting it out of my head for the next few hours at least.
Then spending plenty of time on one of my games to help me mourn the loss of my relationship. The game was newer, and something I had bought for the two of us to play together, though it was still in development. Miranda had never really shown interest, so I never bothered to send her the extra copy I had stored. But today the game seemed to be running into a bug where it wouldn't always pick up on my keystrokes in the middle of a fight, leading to plenty of character deaths. Not that it bothered me, must have been a new patch gone wrong.
Avoiding the temptation to unblock Miranda and see if she had tried to reach back out to me. Then remembering that I should probably block her on the rest of my social media. Since I didn't really want to see her celebrating her new relationship on every venue of contact. The way that she was apt to do.
Pulling out my phone only to be distracted as I received the notification that my package had arrived. The package that wasn't due for at least a few more days. Considering I had just ordered it yesterday. And I was fairly certain that I hadn't paid the exorbitant costs for next day shipping.
I managed to drag myself away from the computer long enough to begin the trek through my apartment building and towards the mailboxes. Glad that I had thought to snatch up my keys so I didn't have to make the trip a second time. After a few short moments of fiddling with the lock, I pop open the mailbox.
Lo and behold, the gift that I had purchased for my now ex-girlfriend the day before. Sitting there in neat packaging with a little symbol along the top. I think it looked something like an eye, but I wasn't entirely paying attention to that in the heavy confusion of whether I had misclicked for next day shipping, trying to resist the urge to double check my bank account in order to focus on the task at hand. Carefully opening the box as I made my way back to my apartment, tossing aside the fancy black ribbon that they had added for the aesthetics once I had crossed the threshold.
Noticing that the seller had included a note, I tugged it out and unfolded it, ignoring the business card that was stapled to the back.
"Dear madam, sir, or other,
We hope that you enjoy this talisman of summoning, and warn you to use it wisely. Do not allow it near unfettered souls. Do not allow it to revel in the light of a full moon. And last, but not least, do not leave it unattended without a symbol of protection.
Thank you for your purchase, and we hope to hear from you in our reviews,
Daemonium Inc.
P.S. Effects may be retroactive from time of purchasing, please perform cleansing ritual upon receival."
They were really selling this hard for a replica. Sighing, I pulled it out, running my thumb along the glass and watching the glow in the dark liquid inside swirl with each movement. Tilting it back and forth just to enjoy the soothing, entrancing, motion. Spending a few moments just examining my latest trinket. Then setting it up atop my desktop's tower. I certainly wasn't going to give it to the girl who just broke my heart, but it was still pretty cool. So at the very least, I could enjoy it. Even if it didn't necessarily match the rest of the decor that I had. Maybe I could start collecting more little pieces like this, make a whole set of it. Start going for a witchy vibe. Or something.
And since there wasn't much sentiment attached to the decision to purchase it, the initial sting of seeing it there in front of me would eventually pass.
Without a second thought, I returned to my evening of mourning and avoiding my boss' phone calls. Scrounging together some proper food, if leftovers and ramen noodles could be considered anything close to an actual meal. Then after a few more hours logged into my game, and a report of the new bug to the devs, I decided to officially call it a night. Ignoring the urge to grab the bottle of vodka that was stowed away above the fridge as a generally bad idea. Showering up to try washing off the day, and to try ridding myself of the itch creeping along my skin. Plopping down into my bed somewhere around three in the morning. Giving the talisman one final glance, half smiling to myself before turning over and trying to sleep.
Figuring that the feeling of dread in my stomach was honestly just attributed to the inevitable questions and phone calls I would have to field from my family in the morning, once news had had the chance to spread. Not to mention the prospect of getting cleared by Rafael to officially return to work from my faux illness. Added to the sugar and caffeine settling wrong from supper, it was all a rather potent mix.
The price we pay for a little respite from the world. Anxiety. Pure unadulterated anxiety.