"Grandad please get out I just want to be alone," Although it was two days before her graduation, Sincere was still in a depressive mood. She just couldn't bring herself to socialize and project her mood onto others.
Yesterday she texted the group chat to tell Ivy and Kayla that she was okay and not to worry about her.
Although Sincere and Kayla grew close over the last few months she had yet to open up to her about Sevens death. Sincere didn't like talking about Sevens death and didn't want to ever talk about the experience she went through watching him die in front of her.
"Girl get your big forehead ass up. I done got out my bed to come and check up on you," he huffed, sitting at her vanity desk.
"How you get in here?" she questioned, not bothering to move. Sincere remember locking her house door when she came from visiting her brother grave site which was about a week ago. She hasn't been out since.
"I picked the lock," Grandad simply replied. Sincere didn't even have enough energy to fuss with her grandad, she just simply turnt her body the other way.
"Seven always bragged," Grandad spoke up catching Sincere's attention. "He always bragged on you and how you was the best sister. He would literally sit up there and argue with your cousins on how you was better than all them," Grandad went on reminiscing and Sincere later there trying her best not to cry.
"I remember I said something about you having a big ass forehead and boy did I tell you he turned around so quick and gave me the most sour look. Shit I had to remind his ass that I fight kids," Grandad laughed, Sincere couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.
"That boy adored the ground you walk on and he wouldn't want you walking around sulking. He would've wanted you to move on and be happy." Sincere sighed because she had already heard that from everybody. She was tired of people telling her to move on. It just wasn't that easy for her to take that step.
"Your graduation is in two days and your not happy. I understand his birthday was a week ago but you need to enjoy your accomplishment." Sincere didn't say anything, she chose to stay silent.
"When-," Grandad was cut off by the sound of someone knocking on the door. Sincere head still stayed at underneath her throw blanket.
"Who the hell is that?" Grandad questioned standing up.
"Never mind I remembered that I have a key," Sincere recognized the voice as Ivy.
"Sincere your apartment is nice. I hope your fridge is stacked." The sound of other voices made Sincere sit up.
"I know that girl didn't bring them here," Sincere huffed standing up from her bed. In the same movement she grabbed her phone off the bed.
"Seems like you have company," Grandad chuckled walking towards his granddaughter.
"I'll see you later. I hope you feel better Sincere and remember what I said," he said while pulling her into a hug.
"Okay," Sincere sighed. Her grandad pulled away and walked out of her room.
"Hey Grandad," Ivy said giving him a hug. After pulling away Grandad gave Sincere one last look before walking out the room.
"Heyy girl," Ivy walked towards her out then came to a stop when she saw Sincere's face.
"Sincere have you been crying?" Ivy asked once she saw Sincere's red and puffy eyes.
"What it look like," Sincere straight faced her.
"Who all you allowed to come to my house Ivy?" she questioned opening her phone and went to her camera only to see her eyes was red and puffy. Throwing her phone on the bed Sincere walked towards her bathroom so she could try and make her eyes look less swollen.
"Jay and Juice rode with me but the others on their way," Ivy explained making Sincere turn around and send her a glare.
"If your eyes were guns I'll be dead," Ivy joked but Sincere didn't find anything funny. She was now agitated because Ivy invited people to her house without telling her about it first.
"So you invited people to my house without checking with me first," Sincere tilted her head at her best friend. Although she wasn't in the mood to be around people she would've felt a little less agitated if Ivy would have called her first.
"Yeah I thought you said you was okay yesterday. I didn't know that you was in here crying." Ivy answered sitting at her vanity desk.
"If I would've known that you was still up in here moping around I wouldn't have came," she added taking out her phone.
"Ivy look ill see y'all tomorrow just let me get myself and my house together today," Sincere tried to reason.
"Sincere it time for you to move on. He's not coming back Cere you need to accept that. It's getting old like you keep using his death as an excuse. Your a grown woman it's time for you to stop feeling bad for yourself and move on. I miss my happy best-friend." Ivy said but immediately regretted it once she seen the look her best friend gave her.
"Did your ass just say I'm using Sevens death as an excuse. You know what Ivy get the fuck out my house and I'm not playing!" Sincere scoffed raising her voice slightly.
"I didn't mean it like that and you know it," Ivy sighed. Ivy wasn't the best advice giver so she often had a problem wording her advice in the right way.
"No it is like that I'm so tired of people saying I need to move the fuck on. That was my fucking brother. I went from seeing him everyday to having a monthly visit to a fucking grave site. Y'all act like it fucking easy to move the fuck on. I practically raised my brother my whole life had been centered around him and now he's gone," Sincere swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. She had finally reached her breaking point with everything and everyone.
"I don't know what to do anymore it's like Im stuck and I can't move that shit hurts. Then on top of that I watched him die, his blood was on my fucking hands. It took me weeks to get that red stain off my hands. I damn near scrubbed my skin off. I was so helpless as I watched him gasp for air. I watched him take his last breathe and all you gotta say is that I need to woman up," She sniffed feeling herself about to break down.
"I didn't mean it like that Cere I just don't like seeing you sad it messes with me. I'm so use to seeing you happy and with a neutral mug."
"I get that Ivy I really do but half of the time I wasn't happy I was suffering in silence and I'm talking about way before Seven died. Although I was going through I kept it together for him. I couldn't let him see me down there was nights I cried myself to sleep and then got up like nothing happened. The only thing that put a smile on my face was seeing him grow and be happy," she vented as tears fell from her eyes.
"Now that part of me is gone and I don't think it will be returning so excuse me for not being like my old "happy" self," Sincere cried making sure to emphasize happy.
Ivy was shocked at what her best friends just vented to her. She didn't know what to say so she just pulled her into a hug.
"I'm sorry," was all Ivy could muster up the courage to say.
"Just give me some time Ivy, I hope to see you at my graduation," Sincere spoke up but it came out barley above a whisper. She then pulled away from the hug wanting to be alone.
"Sincere let me be there for you," Ivy pressed. "Don't shut me away," she added but Sincere just walked into her bathroom and closed the door.
"Alright we'll see you later. I'll stop by the morning of graduation to make sure you get all dolled up," Ivy said before walking out.
"Come on guys she's not feeling well," Ivy said walking into the living room.
"Damn anit her graduation in like two days," Jay said standing up off the couch.
"Mhmmm," Ivy hummed as Juice got up and then wrapped his arms around her.
"You good bae?" he questioned pecking her lips a few times.
"Yeah I'm good," she sighed as they walked to the door.
"Text the rest of them and tell them meet up at your house," she added causing him to nod. Ivy made sure to lock up before she left.
After hearing the door close she waited a minute but then got up from off her bed to make sure her door was locked.
Once she made sure her door was closed she headed down the hallway and stopped at her brothers door.
Opening the door she fully walked in and went lay on his bed. His scent filled the her nose, she just laid down taking everything.
It was only a matter of seconds before she broke down. She wasn't just breaking down because of Sevens death, she was crying for the mental and physical abuse that her mom and her side of the family put her through, and all the times she felt she wasn't good enough. She was tired of everything and didn't know how long she could hang on.
Hey how y'all doing
I decided to post this since I'm stuck at home while this hurricane passes through.
This was just a filler chapter, next chapter will be the graduation and so on.
Thoughts on Sincere and Ivy's argument. Was there someone in the wrong?
I can't wait til Sincere is happy, her time is coming though.
Peace and Blessings 🤍