Lily sucked in her breath as James stopped in front of her. Thunder was pounding in her ears due to her uncertainty of the whole situation. She didn't know what to do or what he was expecting and she was sure the racing sound of her heart beating could be heard by him and everyone around them.
James looked at her closely as he stood in front of her. Her eyes were wide as a half-smile graced over his lips, and his warm gaze settled into those deep emerald pools of light. Enchanting her, yet engulfing her at the same time.
'So...can I take you up on that dance yet?'
His voice was soft but steady, and Lily found herself answering with a delicate smile and a nod. Lily waited for him to move and, although she knew it was coming, she shied away slightly as he gently took her hands, drawing them into his. James could sense her hesitation, but successfully managed to encourage her to place her hands on his shoulders.
Lily looked downwards as he caught her gaze, causing him to smile slightly. Why was she being shy? She didn't seem to be in the Common Room earlier...
Hmm, maybe she's ashamed of her forwardness...
'Lil?' he said, tilting her face up to face his, 'it's okay.'
She closed her eyes for a second, taking a breath and looking back at him. A shiver ran through her cheek as she felt his fingers drift to caress it softly.
'Isn't this wrong?' her mind mumbled in the back of her head, 'Aren't you meant to be with someone else...?'
I don't know...this feels so...
Lily's thoughts were dashed quickly as she felt his hand pressing against her back, forcing her closer to him. The sensation of being against him was unreal, and Lily didn't realise her eyes were closed until James gently asked her to open them. Faintly feeling the soft moisture of his breath against her forehead, she looked up at him, their eyes meeting again.
James was experiencing similar things as her body melted against his. This was what he wanted more than anything in the world...to have her here...with him...against him...
Well...there is something else you'd like to do...but don't rush it Potter...
Her lips were inches from his, all he would have to do would be to lean down slightly and everything would be perfect. But he knew that this was meant to be an innocent dance...something between friends...something insignificant.
But looking down at her, her head nearly nestled into the juncture of his neck, he knew that this was something more...something unspeakable. He craved what it was and he craved her.
The music swayed their senses, drowning their thoughts and Lily felt as though she would drift away if he wasn't there, holding her tightly. This was exactly what she wanted...dancing with him felt like she'd just opened up for the first time...it was like waking up and taking her first breath...it filled her completely and made her giddy with intoxication.
Drawing in a quick breath of surprise, James watched as she moved so that her head rested on his shoulder, her face turned so that her nose just grazed over the skin of his neck. It was oddly intimate...and James welcomed it greedily, squeezing her shoulders to him and resting his chin against her forehead and pressing a 'friendly' kiss into the mass of red waves.
The action was innocent...wasn't it?
***************************
Amiya watched as the Head Boy and Girl danced together, ignorant of her...and what was planned. Their fate...it might have been thought. But Amiya didn't believe in fate...she believed that you made your own decisions, choices and paths in life. And where most people were perfectly capable of finding their own way and making their own mind...she decided, that sometimes some people needed a little nudge towards the right direction...or maybe a big nudge, depending on the circumstances.
Her deep black eyes surveyed the large Hall, resting on everyone and leaving no one untouched by her shrewd gaze. Things were seemingly going well and according to plan, as he wished. Placing the light, crystal wineglass that she held onto a small ledge on the wall, she stepped away from the wall and walked slowly across the room.
If anyone had been watching her, the act may have looked bizarre or out of place. But it was assured that the movement of the Slytherin had deeper motives than one would have originally thought.
However, unbeknownst to her, a gaze did follow her...but instead of being confused, their thoughts were pleased that things were finally starting to begin.
Amiya, stopping on the other side of the room, turned around, feeling certain that someone was watching and cursing herself at her lack of stealth. But the gaze she met calmed her instantly as she acknowledged who it was. She saw a slight smirk float over Sirius' features and he raised an eyebrow as if to say 'well...aren't you gonna get on with it?' The Slytherin narrowed her eyes and folded her arms gently, turning to where a small group of 7th Year boys were standing. Knowing that even though Sirius had looked away, he still had his eye on her actions, she searched the group for him and finding him immediately.
The boy was attractive, she had to agree...but even she could see through his artificial personality and forged charisma. His ulterior motives were transparent to her but she could easily understand how...for someone like Lily...they may not be.
A small smile tugged at the edge of her mouth as she made her way towards him, her gaze flicking back to the dancing couple quickly; making sure they were still occupied.
'Matthew Reede?'
The Chaser turned to her, as she spoke his name in a low, slightly husky voice. Smiling at her condescendingly Amiya was sure, because he knew exactly who she was...and not because of the opposite, which was what he wanted her to think.
Fine honey, milk this for all its worth...it's going to be much more amusing for me at the end...
'Amiya,' he drew out, handing the glass he was holding to someone else, 'I wondered when I'd be seeing you...'
Her black eyes danced with amusement and a smile grew over her face, 'Getting anxious?'
Matthew let out a short, condescending laugh, and moved towards her, sliding his hand through a lock of her dark tresses. The Slytherin just stood, and looked up at him, feeling slightly revolted by his fingers twining through her hair. The look on his face made her want to shudder. It was lewd and lustful and, uncharacteristically, made her flesh crawl. However, she couldn't give away this fact...it had to appear that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
Amiya gazed up at the Ravenclaw Chaser through her thick lashes, and moved further into him. Curling his fingers around the base of her neck, he tilted her face up to his. She bit her tongue as the distance between their skin decreased, and all that was left to do was to move in closer for their lips to touch.
It's okay...just imagine it's someone else or something...Sirius, for example...
Amiya was faintly aware of the group of Ravenclaws, unintentionally, hiding their actions from the Head Boy and Girl. However, her job wasn't to make Lily notice them...that was his. Matthew pulled away to trail small kisses down her throat, giving her a good view of the Marauder who was in on the endeavour. He nodded at her faintly, giving her approval of the actions she was taking. Amiya closed her eyes as she felt his tongue slide smoothly against her collarbone, and released a low moan for effect.
Sirius owes me big this time!
The Marauder in question watched as the girl slid her small hand up the Chaser's arm and into his dark hair. He was pleased that they weren't in view of the Head Girl at that point in time, because otherwise the situation would look stupid. A guy making out with someone in front of his girlfriend...nah, that didn't happen. He was also aware that Matthew knew exactly what he was doing and also that Lily was oblivious to his little escapade. Sirius laughed quietly to himself. Sure, he was being a bit of a bastard...but it would work of best in the end, right? Lily and James will fall in love and be happy ever after, right?
He looked over at the two of them, watching as they danced...completely made for each other...and yet, completely oblivious to the fact. Were they stupid? Probably. Were they in love? Definitely.
Am I the only human being here that knows that?
But looking at the two of them now, he realised that they may have just caught onto the fact.
Thank god! At least that makes my job easier...
Taking a slip of the alcohol he had, he watched his best friend absently stroking the Head Girl's back. His fingers moved gently over the back of her dress.
'Stupid bloody idiots,' Sirius muttered to himself.
Turning back to where the group he was with sat, he watched in slight amusement as Remus engaged a pretty Gryffindor girl in conversation. He was doing it quite well, Sirius had thought, much better to what Wormtail would have done.
Where was the little git anyway?
But the small Marauder and his date for the evening were nowhere in sight, causing Sirius to mutter in astonishment, 'Christ! He can get laid, while the rest of us have to work for it...? Something bloody wrong there!'
After pausing to contemplate the ways of tormenting Peter about it, Amiya subtly caught Sirius' gaze as she and the Ravenclaw Chaser backed slowly out of the Great Hall door, managing to catch no-ones attention in the process.
Sirius knew where the girl was leading him. It was by his strict instructions, and he knew that the Slytherin would follow them efficiently. The Marauder smirked slightly as all of his plans were fitting nicely into place.
Everything's going the way I want...it's only time for the games to begin...
****************************
His scent was taking her away...drifting slowly away from the Great Hall into a land where nothing existed but him...and her...together. Faintly in the recesses of her mind she knew what was going on was, in some way...inappropriate. But then, what she was doing was vaguely unknown to her.
It's never felt like this...
Her breath caught in her throat when she felt him squeeze her gently again, as though he didn't want to let her go back to the world, where things were different and reverse for them.
Lily could, at that point in time, imagine herself saying the words that he wanted her to say. The words, which were the only prevention of falling away from everything that she'd ever known before. The absence of it was making her drowsy and the need was taking over...but yet, she couldn't...there was still something binding her back to reality. And that binding, as she thought, she knew that it was unfortunate.
James felt so good against her. Too good, she might have thought if her mind wasn't hazy from the situation. His firmness complimenting her softness, and mixing together until they didn't know where one ended and the other began. It was electric...and fiery...and yet, there was a serenity, which neither of them could thoroughly understand.
I want to kiss him...god, I really wish I could...
'Well, why don't you then, if you really want to?'
It's not that simple...I wish it was...
'You could make it simple...you could just do it...I'm sure he wouldn't mind.'
It's not that...
'What is it then...? A certain boyfriend getting in the way now...? Hmm...?'
...
'It's so darn annoying having two guys wanting you, isn't it Lily? So difficult to choose...'
It's not like that...I-I don't know what I want...
'Of course you don't...because Miss Head Girl has everything; it's bound to be hard to really know what you want.'
You don't understand... no one understands!
'Probably because we don't live in cloud-cuckoo-land Lily...you're such a poor little girl.'
Shut up! I'm not!
'Huh, of course not...'
James felt the girl in his arms grip the top of his shoulders hard, and he looked down at her. She had her face pressed against his neck, he could feel the small exhalation of air when she breathed and it made his heart pound a bit faster with that small fact that it was her, and not some imaginative fantasy he'd dreamed up.
The most silent of whimpers drifted over her lips as the different opinions made themselves heard in her head. The grip on her waist tightened slightly, relieving her...knowing that he was there, holding her. She always wanted him to hold her.
I always want him...
'And why's that Lil'?'
Huh?
'Come on Lily, you can admit it now! Why do you always want him?'
...I don't know what you mean...
'Don't play around. You're smart; you know exactly what I mean...you just don't want to say it.'
...I want him...I just do...there's no reason wh...
'Oh for God sake, just say it!'
...there's nothing to say!
'Go on, look at him...he feels it too...you're not alone...it's right there in his eyes...you can see it, plain as day...'
Lily pulled back slightly away from the Head Boy, but James held her firm in his grip. She looked up at him...into his face like she was told. He looked back at her, her deep verdant pools taking him in...searching within him...it was there, she knew but it was yet to emerge. Disappointment crept up her skin, as she looked at him and James saw it reflect back at him.
'It's there Lily...look harder...it will show...he feels it, the same as you...the same need and intensity...all you have to do is to find it.'
He brought his hand up to her face, and he studied her closely. There wasn't anyone that could compare to her...nothing would ever come close. If only he could just lean in...
God, I love you so much...
There it was...reflecting back at her. She saw it just from his gaze. He loved her.
I love him too...
Then, somehow the acknowledgement of her feelings, brought her slap-bang back to reality. She felt like she'd just been floating then suddenly hit the ground with an almighty force, forcing all the air out of her lungs and leaving her mind gasping. James saw the mass of mixed feelings fleeting across her features and frowned.
'What's wrong?'
The Head Girl twisted away from his grip, stepping back and glanced at him quickly. She didn't know what to make of this. All she wanted was to be back in his arms and for him to protect her, but that faint noise in the back of her head, earlier telling her that this was wrong, was turning into a loud buzzing noise that she couldn't shut off.
'This is wrong!' she choked out, finally answering his question, 'I can't just...do this...'
By this time James could sense other students' eyes on them, 'Lil...look, we're just dancing okay...nothing else...'
'Oh yeah right!' she spat, vaguely feeling her eyes stinging with unshed tears, 'Oh, like you didn't feel it too!'
James stepped forward, intentionally to stop her shouting, but she pulled away from him again.
'Lily, come on, this...isn't really the place to be having this conversation.'
The conversation, however, being one-sided...
This, apparently, was not the right thing to say as she stood and looked at him, the disappointment now evident completely.
'I don't care James,' she said in a slightly tired way, 'but maybe that's what is important for you...'
James watched her, his mind in turmoil as she turned around and walked away, heading for the Great Hall door. The Head Boy seriously felt like punching something, just for the sheer hell of it.
For fuck sake, someone must really hate me! Why do I keep losing her...?
Eyes were still on him as he turned around to where his best friends were earlier sitting. It annoyed him even more when he realised that Padfoot was somewhat absent.
Where the hell was he now?
******************************
I'm not going to cry...I'm not...
Lily moved towards the Great Hall door and pushed it open, sliding through the opening quickly. She felt a strong force wanting to push against her, telling her to go back. But her pride and dignity kept her away from him.
God...tonight was meant to be great...now look what's happened...
Stepping away from the door, she moved towards the stairs and sat down on the 2nd step, pulling the dress up slightly so her knees were tucked under her. The Head Girl rested her arms on her brought-up knees and buried her face into them. She could vaguely smell the scent of the bathwater on her skin that she had used earlier.
Huh, when I had that bath I didn't even know about this Dress...it's strange how things work out...
Sitting up a little, Lily ran her hand across the curls in her hair, thinking how it didn't really matter how she looked anyway now. She looked down at her hands, absently playing with the silver ring on her right hand, and then roaming up to touch the earrings and necklace that James had brought her. Lily dropped her gaze back to her hands, smoothing The Dress from nonexistent creases.
I'm so selfish...how could I talk to him like that...after all he's done for me...he loves me and I just threw it back in his face...I'm such an idiot...
She felt tears pinprick her eyes again, and brought her hand up to her face, rubbing the top of her nose with irritation.
'Everything's so fucked up,' she thought out loud.
'Never thought there'd come a time when the Head Girl swears.'
Lily snapped her head up to the voice. Her eyes narrowing as she saw Sirius leaning up against the wall, watching her intently.
'How long have you been standing there?' she asked, in annoyance.
'Long enough,' he said simply, stepping away from the wall and moving towards her.
She sat up defiantly, 'And what's that meant to mean?'
'Nothing,' Sirius said, grinning and causing her to frown.
The Marauder decided to bide his time for the moment, watching in amusement as she tried to figure him out. He allowed his eyes to roam over her body; he wasn't surprised at his best friends' feelings for her. She indeed was beautiful, and the memory of him and her in her muggle kitchen flew into his mind, making him grin wider.
Lily glared at him, 'What are you grinning at?'
'You,' he said softly, 'I faintly recall the time me and you nearly...you-know...wonder how that would've turned out...'
'So unfortunate that it didn't,' she answered sarcastically, getting to her feet.
'Is kinda, isn't it,' he smiled, deliberately ignoring the sarcasm and earning an exasperated roll of the eyes from the Head Girl.
Sirius stepped towards her, making her take a step back, 'It's funny that you didn't realise that Prongs wanted you then...stupid really...if you think about it. I mean, well, if you remember the look on his face when he caught us...bit of a give away...don't you think?'
'I don't know,' she snapped, 'I was too busy regretting the mistake I nearly made...didn't have time for much else.'
Sirius smiled genuinely at her fieriness, and laughed gently. She was still glaring that frosty glare she always possessed, and he bit back the urge to tease her even more.
After a pause, he spoke gently, 'You know, you two look good together.'
'Excuse me?'
'You...James...dancing...you look good, like meant to be.'
'Right Sirius...' she said, stepping around him, 'I think you've had too much Firewhiskey.'
The Marauder caught her arm quickly, making her stop, 'I'm not drunk...why's this so hard for you to believe? You know yourself that it's true.'
'Oh, do I?' she answered harshly, pulling her arm out of his grasp and folding them across her chest.
'Yeah, I mean we all think it...better than that Ravenclaw twat.'
Lily bristled in front of him, 'Oh you do, do you? You all think that? Well, you know what...I don't care what you or anyone else thinks, Sirius Black!'
'Wait Evans,' he said in exasperation as she turned to stalk away, 'I didn't mean to offend.'
This little statement that popped from his mouth halted her instantly, and she couldn't believe that he'd actually apologised. Lily turned back to face him.
'You really need to get over yourself Lils - wait hear me out - you gotta get over yourself and realise exactly what is right in front of you...I know you know that James loves you...you really have to figure out that in your head though...the point of the whole thing...you know?'
Lily stood in front of Sirius for a moment in silence and then she spoke, 'Why are you doing this?'
'I don't know,' he shrugged, 'but you've really got to think about who stays...and who goes...you know what I mean?'
The Head Girl nodded, she thought that she did...the two of them.
James or Matt...Matt or James...
Lily's thoughts were dashed as Sirius laid a hand on her arm, looking at her...a mixture of sincerity and thoughtfulness.
'I need you to know though Lily, that Reede isn't all what you think he is.'
Lily glowered at him, pulling away until he grabbed her again, making her reside in front of him, 'Hear me out would you?'
He continued as she took a deep breath and looked at him, 'He's not Lily...whatever he's said to you has only been for the want of one thing...'
'And you can talk...'
'And which is not,' Sirius talked loudly to drown her out, 'the reason you two should be...dating or whatever.'
'You bastard!' she snapped at him, 'You don't even know him, and y-you're even worse than him! You're such a hypocrite!'
Sirius folded his arms and glared venomously at her. Yeah, she was beautiful, yeah, he could understand why James loved her...but God was she a right bitch when she wanted to be! He could practically see the steam rising from her nostrils as she verbally tore into him.
Shut her up soon Sirius, before you punch her...
Of course this was only his thoughts, but still...
'You know...I was gonna be really nice about this Lily...be really sympathetic and stuff...like a gentleman...but now you've really pissed me off!'
Lily frowned, 'What are you going on about now?'
'Maybe you should be hurt Evans! Teach you to not be on your high horse all the time...Little Miss Perfect...perfect grades...perfectly beautiful...it makes me sick! This will teach you Evans...and then you will wish someone sympathetic were there, picking up all the pieces for you.'
The Marauder knew he was biting back...biting back hard...but he knew that maybe this would help her...you know, pulling off a plaster - quick and painless.
'Sirius, if you don't tell me what is going on right now...'
'Wanna know where your precious Chaser is right now?' he snapped, narrowing his eyes.
This shut Lily up quickly, a frown creeping over her face as she looked at the boy standing in front of her. Did she want him to continue? What would he say? Did she want to hear it? Probably not...but she had to know...
'Where...?'
The question floated up to his ears as he looked at her, her voice so soft with hesitation, making him want to reconsider telling her. Quickly, wanting to get it over with, he nodded across the Entrance Hall where a few of the Classrooms that Dumbledore and the professors didn't use any more were. Lily frowned as she followed his gesture.
Uncertainty coursed through her, but she didn't want Sirius to see it flowing freely through her veins. Pausing to glance back at the Marauder quickly, she turned and walked with her dignity pushed to the surface, over to the Classroom Sirius had motioned towards.
I'm sorry Lily...but this is for the best...I want you and James to be happy and this is the only way...Remus was right, this is going to be torture for her...please let her get over it...it's shitty enough that I have to do this...
The Head Girl stopped in front of the thick wooden door, not really wanting to know what was beyond...but still having to know otherwise. Yes, she was scared...it was obviously something bad with the way that he had said it...it was something about Matt...
She turned and looked back at the Marauder, he was standing there watching, biting a fingernail in anxiety. Lily turned back quickly and reached for the doorknob. It was cool and hard around her hand as she grasped it firmly, and it gave easily under the careful twist of her wrist. The door was noiseless as she slowly pushed the wood with her other hand, the gap of light in the side growing larger as she pushed.
'And behind door number three...?' she mumbled nearly silently.
Sirius watched the door slide back, even though the Head Girl froze on the spot. He was sure that the look on her face was pure horror/dear-caught-in-headlights at that point in time.
Lily gripped the frame of the door hard, her nails digging into the hard oak. The scene in front of her made her want to be sick and she couldn't find the thoughts to think let alone words to scream.
Matthew Reede...current boyfriend...in front of her...on top of...inside of...that Slytherin slut...fucking her...I'm going to be sick...
But her boyfriends' groans brought her headfirst into reality.
'Oh god...Ami', yes...that's it...'
Lily watched in disgust as Matt thrust, what looked deeply, inside the Slytherin girl. She could feel the bile rising in her throat, but she bit it back by sheer determination.
'You...' she growled.
Matt snapped his face around to meet his girlfriends' expression of revulsion and hatred. The Ravenclaw froze in mid-thrust as she fumed with pure, red anger.
'Lil!'
'You...you make me sick!' she shrieked as she turned from the room quickly.
Matt, not thoroughly acknowledging what had happened turned back to the object of his current desire, and with the anger of being discovered back-handed Amiya hard around the face.
'You little bitch!' he spat, 'This is your fucking fault!'
The Slytherin held her cheek with one hand as he roughly pulled away from her, pulling up his trousers and fastening them as he ran after his girlfriend.
'Lily! Lily, stop!'
The Head Girl froze as he shouted her name, turning slowly around to face the Quidditch Chaser; her eyes alight with white, hot anger. Matthew stopped a few feet in front of her, he knew she was incredibly infuriated and knew to approach with great caution.
'What?' she bit out, 'What in FUCK can YOU want?'
Matthew drew away slightly from the colourful outburst and knew in the back of his mind that she so wasn't done yet, and it was about to get even more vibrant.
'Baby...I-I didn't mean for this to happen...it just did...'
'Don't give me that bullshit, you fucking bastard! You knew EXACTLY what you were doing!'
Matthew quickly denied it, 'No, I didn't, i-it was her...'
'God, you're such a coward, you can't even admit it! You fucked her didn't you...I think that kinda evolves your CO-OPERATION!'
'Lily, it's not like that!'
'Oh, no? It's not, is it? What happened then? If you're SO innocent?!'
By this time, Matthew realised that the Great Hall door had opened due to all the shouting and everyone was watching avidly the argument between the Head Girl and the Ravenclaw Chaser.
'Lily, can we talk about this somewhere else?' he asked, nodding towards the large amount of people.
'No we FUCKING can't, you BASTARD!' she screamed, making him flinch, 'You're innocent! So you have NOTHING to be ashamed of! Not like me, who has EVERYTHING to be ashamed of, for dating a CUNT LIKE YOU!!!'
'Lily...'
'Shut up, I don't want to hear your stupid excuses!' Lily growled menacingly.
'Please, come on baby, let's not argue about this.'
Matthew moved forward and touched her arm, sending her further into the abyss of fury.
'Don't you DARE touch me! You have SEX with someone else, and you think you can touch me?! Reede, you are coming nowhere NEAR me AGAIN...EVER!!!'
Matthew heard the hall of people behind her gasp, and talk amongst themselves as she told the whole school of his felony.
'What do you want me to say, Lily?' Matthew shouted back at her, 'I can say 'sorry' as many times as you want, and it's still not going to change anything!'
'Well you haven't even said THAT, have you?!'
'Well...I'm sorry!'
Lily laughed sarcastically, 'I didn't say that it would work!'
'For Christ sake Lily!' he shouted, 'What do you want me to do?'
Lily sighed in exhaustion, 'Nothing...there's nothing you can do...just leave me alone.'
As she turned to walk away, Matthew grabbed her arm hard and pulled her back to him, 'You're not just going to walk away from this!'
Anger resurfaced as quickly as lightening in the emerald orbs of her eyes as she felt the grip on her arm tighten, and then a red haze settled over her mind's eye. Lily, feeling the unwanted pressure of his hand on her, turned around fast, pulled back her fist and punched him hard around the face.
The whole Hall seemed to go silent as they watched in morbid curiosity as their Head Girl laid her boyfriend out on the shiny, wooden floor. He wasn't unconscious but he went down nonetheless. Lily glared at him as he touched his jaw, blood sliding down his chin from his lip.
'You...' she spat, 'and I are SO OVER!'
Glaring at him for a couple more seconds, James watched as she turned fast on her heel and ran up the wide staircase towards their Common Room, dress pulled slightly up and her hair bouncing behind her. James wanted to walk over to where he sat on the floor, and give him his own version of what Lily did, but he thought that she, the girl he was in love with, stole the show completely.
He waited for a second before sliding out of the crowd and up the stairs, quickly, to find her.
Sirius watched his best friend move unnoticed up the stairs as Amiya walked over to where they said they would meet. Sirius, seeing her approach him, brought her into the darkness of the dungeon corridor and slid his hand into her hair, examining the large bruise that was forming from Matthews administrations.
He brought her against him, and spoke softly, 'Well done.'
Amiya closed her eyes at his touch and the softness of his voice, lulling her into a sleep she needed, 'Mission complete, right?'
They both grinned.