A smiley face, and all George could do was stare.
For years, he was convinced he was the only person in the world with his marking. That he could explore every country, meet every individual on Earth, including Antarctica, and he still wouldn't find another individual with a simplistic smile permanently marked on their wrist.
He always second-guessed every decision he made, pondering whether it'd bring him one step closer to meeting his soulmate or ten steps back. Yet, without even trying, they were brought together. The chances were so slim that George was convinced it was fate. That the reason he agreed to take Clay driving was to meet the man in front of him.
And the idea saddened him at the rate of the thunderstorm outside tenfold.
"We're not soulmates." Pulling his sleeves over his hands, he pulled his feet up and sat criss-cross next to his soulmate. "I don't have one. A mark, I mean."
"Ah, okay." Punz drew his hand away, though his eyes clung to George like magnetics, gazing at him up and down. It excited his nerves, but not in the way it did with Clay and more in the way of bubbling wrongness that made him want to do nothing but run. "Who was that then?"
"My friend." He frowned at the door, waiting for Clay to come back as he always did. "He wants to run away from home, but I don't want him to."
"How old are you guys? Is he legal age to leave the house?"
"He's sixteen. Hardly old enough to do anything."
"Oh, how old are you?" He leaned closer, and George glanced over his shoulder to the front desk where a petite woman sat on her phone, not appearing to have realized the argument that just broke out right in front of her.
"I just turned eighteen."
"Ah, I turn eighteen in January. You got a few months on me. Anyway, how is his life so terrible that he feels the need to run away?"
"He's not in love with his soulmate."
"Oh." The words had an indecipherable effect as Punz immediately glanced away and gave George back his personal space. "I'd run away too if that were the case."
"Why? What's so wrong about that?"
"Nothing, really. It's not so much how the person in question would feel, but the people around them."
"That so?" His head grew light. Was this how love felt? If so, he wasn't sure if he wanted it. It didn't feel like the high everyone described it as. It was sickening, as if George was shoplifting and worried of getting caught. Except, in this case, there was nothing he wanted to steal.
"Yeah, not to mention the other person. The only way I could see that going well would be if both parties didn't like each other. But what are the chances of that happening? The chances of one side not falling in love is rare in and of itself."
His chest weighed heavy. Something was wrong. He had just met his soulmate, and all he wanted was to go after Clay. To talk to him and convince him to come home. Wilbur was exhilarating to meet Techno. His voice sang the way a nightingale did. Cheerful and content. The tempo of his words were as quick and excited as a hummingbird, buzzing along as if the rest of the world was off his shoulders and he was allowed to fly.
George, however, felt like a flightless bird. Watching as the people around him fell in love and met their soulmates. He knew now that he had a soulmate, and he now had free reign to fall in love and fly with the rest of the happy couples. Except he didn't know how. Not only was he never taught, but he found himself having no desire to try.
"You okay?" Asked Punz, and George lifted his head to find it dizzying.
"Yeah, I'm— I don't know. What are you even doing here?" Punz leaned back at the suddenly brash question.
"My dad owns this run-down place. Sometimes I like to stay late and watch the lobby. You'll be surprised with the number of couples I've watched fight and walk out. It's ridiculous." He glanced at George with a knowing look.
"Was it like me and my friend?"
He chuckled softly and looped his gold necklace around his finger. "You know, I don't know if you know this, but you don't need the marking to know when you've met your soulmate."
"You don't?" His face flushed red as all the heaviness he had been holding on his shoulders seemed to crumple and rain on him.
"It's more of a means of confirmation. When you meet your soulmate, it feels as if fate brought you together." George opened his mouth, and Punz cut him off before his rather aggravated words could spill out. "How do I know? I've talked to couples and those who have met their soulmates before and about seventy-five percent of them have told me that they knew they met their soulmates before they saw their markings because it felt as if they were meant to meet. Soulmate markings aren't little match-makers like everyone thinks they are. They're scars from when your souls parted."
"I'm sorry." Punz took George's arm, and when he received no response, he pulled up the sleeve of his blue sweater. A match made in Heaven, and it hit George's heart like a tunnel-visioned dart. He had waited so long to meet his soulmate, and now that he did, all he felt was wrong. As if he had fallen into the wrong home. He wasn't meant to be there. They shouldn't have been soulmates. It had to be a crazy coincidence. And Clay would run back into the building. Because even though they weren't soulmates, George was slowly beginning to realize how badly he wished they were.
"It seems we met a little too late." Said Punz with a gentle smile that plucked at George's heartstrings rather harshly. "Do you love him?"
"I can't love him," George mumbled. "I don't understand how love works. We're not soulmates."
"But he's not in love with his. And I don't know if you are either." He lifted his hand and gently guided George's eyes into his own. His eyes were an icy blue that would have been easy to get lost in had George been able to focus. Inside seemed like a place of wonder. The unknown. Like every evening in there would be a brand new adventure. It could be easily alluring. Easy bait if Punz wanted a relationship right where he stood.
But George couldn't bring himself to look. Trying only caused him to zone out further. His heart ached as he tried as hard as he could to feel the same exhilarating buzz he had with Clay. Or the burning warmth in his heart as they talked. The more he tried, the more his heart hurt because he couldn't feel it. He couldn't bring himself to fall in love with the man he was destined to be with.
His eyes welled with hot, frustrated tears. As if his body punished him for failing such a simple task. And, finally, he understood his mother. The pain of feeling incapable of love. Like a curse that punished not just himself, but his soulmate, to whom was forced to endure unreciprocated love not by his own choice, but by some glitch in themselves. He understood why his mother ran to an outsider in her relationship because he could barely handle the suffocating and empty few minutes he had with Punz let alone the nineteen years his parents had been together.
"You don't have to cry." Punz laughed softly as he wiped away the boy's tears. "You're a compassionate person, I can tell. My dad would like you. He says I need to learn to care for others more."
"I don't love you."
"I should be the one bawling over that." He gave George a reassuring smile and nudged him softly. "Relax. It's okay. We just met, but if you're really that apathetic over it, that's fine. It happens sometimes. I've seen it happen time and time again. It's more common than you'd think. Nobody really talks about it, though."
"This isn't right. I'm not supposed to feel this way," George mumbled.
Punz scoffed. "I hate that. This whole soulmate thing is a scam. I've seen so many relationships come and go within this lobby. A soulmate is the other half of your soul, not a romantic partner. Sometimes they work out and get married, other times they fall out and never see each other again. It's so dumb how there's people out there telling you how you're supposed to feel."
"How do you feel about me?"
He squinted his eyes. "You're cute, but I don't see us lasting forever. I see you as surreal, but only for a brief moment." George cocked his head to the side, silently begging the other to continue. Laughing, he did. "We were meant to meet and have this conversation. It gives us both closure, but now the moment is over. I know how you're feeling; soulmates can usually do that when they're together. And I feel the same way. We're not meant to be together, but I'm sure you already knew that."
"I'm sorry."
His soulmate smiled. Simple and sweet, it matched his marking well. It brought George comfort. As if he wasn't messed up for his lack of feelings toward the one man he was supposed to feel them with. "No need to apologize. We have a mutual understanding, and that's something not a lot of soulmates have."
"So now what?"
"Now we go our separate ways." He stood up and towered over George. "It was a pleasure meeting you. You're certainly a figure I'll never forget. And had you been anyone else, maybe our exchange would have turned out differently. But I already know that we may be soulmates, but we're not meant to be, and that's okay."
"Is it really? What are you going to do now?"
"I'm going to call my girlfriend." His smile grew smug as the brunet's face dropped. "There's a difference between having a soulmate and falling in love."
"Do you feel wrong for it?"
"Oh, believe me, I did," Punz replied with a light chuckle. "How was I supposed to tell my soulmate my heart already belonged to someone else? But I don't feel that way anymore. Now I know that you're alright, and all my worries are at ease. How about you?"
He shook his head. His worries were far from at ease. The thunder shook the building, and the lightning flashed through the blinds of the window. The rain came down hard, and Clay was out in the streets all alone without a phone. How was George to think straight when his host brother was out all alone in a state neither had ever been to before? His mind flooded with the thought that he could be dead in a ditch at this point, even if he had only been gone for a ten minutes.
Punz snickered. "You're worried about your friend, huh? That's cute. I hope you two work things out. I suggest giving him a call." He held out his hand. "Our moment is over now. How about a small wish you well uhh..."
"George." Gripping his soulmate's hand, he was pulled up to his feet. They were around the same height, and George couldn't tell who was taller. Their markings tingled as they held hands. It was as if their markings were set ablaze, and that they were being fused back together spiritually. The feeling only lasted for the brief second before Punz let go.
"George," Punz repeated. "I hope we can meet again for another meaningful conversation. But I think for now it's goodbye, what do you think?"
"I agree."
The blond boy placed a hand on George's shoulder, and all his mind could think back to were the times Clay did the same thing. "Goodbye for now, George. But if you and that tall guy ever get married, hit me up. I'd love to attend the wedding. You know where to find me."
He slipped past George, and the latter followed the blond with his eyes until he disappeared into the backroom behind the counter. The petite lady at the counter glanced up at George.
"No loitering, kid."
With a brief glance to the double doors that led to the thunderstorm outside, he headed back to his hotel room. Lonely and dark. The green curtains blew with the light air conditioning that iced over the room. He flicked back on the lights, and the boards of the wooden floors creaked with each step. Grabbing his backpack, he stood for a brief moment.
Absolute silence.
No humming of random tunes he had never heard of before, or cheesy history jokes he never understood. Nobody interrupted his train of thought, or annoyed him into sharing more about himself. For the first time in months, he was completely alone.
And he wanted to do what he did every time he found himself overwhelmed with his own head: write it all down. He dropped his bag off on the bed and unzipped it to find school supplies inside despite specifically remembering Clay dumping out the supplies before giving him the bag to pack his belongings into.
Digging through the bag for a pen, he found his spiral notebook before doing a double-take. He could have sworn his notebook was blue, though he wasn't the best with colors.
He grabbed the black pen and opened up the notebook to discover the entries inside to not be his own. The handwriting was an odd mix of cursive and print, and the first entry was from only a few days ago. George couldn't help but graze over the first sentence.
"11/04/21
Where am I to begin? I'm only writing this because George told me about journaling yesterday.
I'm running away, and I have no intention to return. There's a plethora of reasons as to why I've come to this decision. My life is so meaningless and wrong. Sometimes death seems like the better option to where I will no longer be a weight to those around me, but I don't want to die. I want to selfishly breathe to see another day, even if it is an inconvenience to everyone around me. Yet at the same time, I feel so guilty. Then again, I don't remember a time where I didn't."
George flipped the page right as the phone in his sweater pocket went off, scaring the spiral notebook from his grip as he went digging around for his phone. As he pulled it out along with the money Clay had given him, he found it to be an unknown number. He answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Bitch Boy, I have your notebook."
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Ciao tutti! Sono in classe di italiano LOL
In broken italian, that says "hello all! I'm in Italian class LOL"
Early update because today's a test day and I finished within like 10 minutes and have allll this freetime lol
I should've asked this last chapter, but what do you think will happen next :0 I'll give you a hint: "after fire"
Welp.. see you all tmrw :D arrivederci ;) (thats italian for "goodbye")
Ti amo <3