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chapter xi
(prisoner of azkaban)
ariana comforts a giant
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"Harry, you -- you look terrible."
Harry had just entered the common room that was completely empty except for Ron, who was eating a Peppermint Toad and massaging his stomach, Hermione, who had spread her homework over three tables, and Ariana, who was sitting furthest away from them, practicing practical magic.
"Where is everyone?" said Harry.
"Gone! It's the first day of the holidays, remember?" said Ron, watching Harry closely. "It's nearly lunchtime; I was going to come and wake you up in a minute."
Harry slumped into a chair next to the fire. Snow was still falling outside the windows. Crookshanks was spread out in front of the fire like a large, ginger rug.
"You really don't look well, you know," Hermione said, peering anxiously into his face.
"I'm fine," said Harry.
"Harry, listen," said Hermione, exchanging a look with Ron, "you must be really upset about what we heard yesterday. But the thing is, you mustn't go doing anything stupid."
"Like what?" said Harry.
"Like trying to go after Black," said Ron sharply.
Ariana rolled her eyes. They had been rehearsing exactly what they were going to say for about an hour before Harry had gotten up. She couldn't blame them though. They truly cared for their friend.
"You won't, will you, Harry?" said Hermione.
"Because Black's not worth dying for," said Ron.
Harry looked at them. They didn't seem to understand at all.
"D'you know what I see and hear every time a Dementor gets too near me?" Ron and Hermione shook their heads, looking apprehensive. "I can hear my mum screaming and pleading with Voldemort. And if you'd heard your mum screaming like that, just about to be killed, you wouldn't forget it in a hurry. And if you found out someone who was supposed to be a friend of hers betrayed her and sent Voldemort after her --"
"There's nothing you can do!" said Hermione, looking stricken. "The Dementors will catch Black and he'll go back to Azkaban and -- and serve him right!"
"You heard what Fudge said. Black isn't affected by Azkaban like normal people are. It's not a punishment for him like it is for the others."
"So what are you saying?" said Ron, looking very tense. "You want to -- to kill Black or something?"
"Don't be silly," said Hermione in a panicky voice. "Harry doesn't want to kill anyone, do you, Harry?"
Again, Harry didn't answer. Ariana frowned, closing her charms book. Sure, he was out of line the previous day, but he was one of the only people who treated her normally. And by the sound of it, Ron and Hermione had been trying to convince him that she was bad news for quite a while, which meant that he must have been sticking up for her.
"Malfoy knows," he said abruptly. "Remember what he said to me in Potions? 'If it was me, I'd hunt him down myself...I'd want revenge.'"
"You're going to take Malfoy's advice instead of ours?" said Ron furiously. "Listen...you know what Pettigrew's mother got back after Black had finished with him? Dad told me -- the Order of Merlin, First Class, and Pettigrew's finger in a box. That was the biggest bit of him they could find. Black's a madman, Harry, and he's dangerous --"
"Malfoy's dad must have told him," said Harry, ignoring Ron. "He was right in Voldemort's inner circle --"
"Say You-Know-Who, will you?" interjected Ron angrily.
"-- so obviously, the Malfoys knew Black was working for Voldemort --"
"-- and Malfoy'd love to see you blown into about a million pieces, like Pettigrew! Get a grip. Malfoy's just hoping you'll get yourself killed before he has to play you at Quidditch."
"Harry, please," said Hermione, her eyes now shining with tears, "Please be sensible. Black did a terrible, terrible thing, but d-don't put yourself in danger, it's what Black wants...Oh, Harry, you'd be playing right into Black's hands if you went looking for him. Your mum and dad wouldn't want you to get hurt, would they? They'd never want you to go looking for Black!"
"I'll never know what they'd have wanted, because thanks to Black, I've never spoken to them," said Harry shortly.
"Harry," said Ariana quietly. They turned to look at her with shocked expressions. "I know what it's like to want revenge. But trust me, it never ends well. You may not have ever known you're parents, but they died to keep you out of my father's hands. Don't throw away their sacrifices for something as petty as revenge."
There was a silence in which Crookshanks stretched luxuriously flexing his claws. Ron's pocket quivered.
"Look," said Ron, obviously casting around for a change of subject, "it's the holidays! It's nearly Christmas! Let's -- let's go down and see Hagrid. We haven't visited him for ages!"
"No!" said Hermione quickly. "Harry isn't supposed to leave the castle, Ron --"
"Yeah, let's go," said Harry, sitting up, "and I can ask him how come he never mentioned Black when he told me all about my parents!"
"Oh my gods," Ariana muttered.
Further discussion of Sirius Black plainly wasn't what Ron had had in mind.
"Or we could have a game of chess," he said hastily, "or Gobstones. Percy left a set --"
"No, let's visit Hagrid," said Harry firmly. "Ari, you coming?"
Ariana hesitated, before nodding. It certainly beat sitting around doing homework. Ignoring the hopeful looks on Ron and Hermione's faces, they got their cloaks from their dormitories and set off through the portrait hole, down through the empty castle and out through the oak front doors.
They made their way slowly down the lawn, making a shallow trench in the glittering, powdery snow, their socks and the hems of their cloaks soaked and freezing. The Forbidden Forest looked as though it had been enchanted, each tree smattered with silver, and Hagrid's cabin looked like an iced cake.
Ron knocked, but there was no answer.
"He's not out, is he?" said Hermione, who was shivering under her cloak.
Ron had his ear to the door.
"There's a weird noise," he said. "Listen -- is that Fang?"
Harry and Hermione put their ears to the door too. From inside the cabin came a series of low, throbbing moans.
"Think we'd better go and get someone?" said Ron nervously.
"Hagrid!" called Harry, thumping the door. "Hagrid, are you in there?"
There was a sound of heavy footsteps, then the door creaked open. Hagrid stood there with his eyes red and swollen, tears splashing down the front of his leather vest.
"You've heard?" he bellowed, and he flung himself onto Harry's neck.
Hagrid being at least twice the size of a normal man, this was no laughing matter. Harry, about to collapse under Hagrid's weight, was rescued by Ron and Hermione, who each seized Hagrid under an arm and heaved him back into the cabin. Hagrid allowed himself to be steered into a chair and slumped over the table, sobbing uncontrollably, his face glazed with tears that dripped down into his tangled beard.
"Hagrid, what is it?" said Hermione, aghast.
Harry spotted an official-looking letter lying open on the table.
"What's this, Hagrid?"
Hagrid's sobs redoubled, but he shoved the letter toward Harry, who picked it up and read aloud:
Dear Mr. Hagrid,
Further to our inquiry into the attack by a Hippogriff on a student in your class, we have accepted the assurances of Professor Dumbledore that you bear no responsibility for the regrettable incident.
"Well, that's okay then, Hagrid!" said Ron, clapping Hagrid on the shoulder. But Hagrid continued to sob, and waved one of his gigantic hands, inviting Harry to read on.
However, we must register our concern about the Hippogriff in question. We have decided to uphold the official complaint of Mr. Lucius Malfoy, and this matter will therefore be taken to the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures. The hearing will take place on April 20th, and we ask you to present yourself and your Hippogriff at the Committee's offices in London on that date. In the meantime, the Hippogriff should be kept tethered and isolated.
Yours in fellowship ...
There followed a list of the school governors.
"Oh," said Ron. "But you said Buckbeak isn't a bad Hippogriff, Hagrid. I bet he'll get off."
"Yeh don' know them gargoyles at the Committee fer the Disposal o' Dangerous Creatures!" choked Hagrid, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "They've got it in fer interestin' creatures!"
A sudden sound from the corner of Hagrid's cabin made Ariana, Harry, Ron, and Hermione whip around. Buckbeak the Hippogriff was lying in the corner, chomping on something that was oozing blood all over the floor.
"I couldn' leave him tied up out there in the snow!" choked Hagrid. "All on his own! At Christmas."
Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at one another. They had never seen eye to eye with Hagrid about what he called 'interesting creatures' and other people called 'terrifying monsters.' On the other hand, there didn't seem to be any particular harm in Buckbeak. In fact, by Hagrid's usual standards, he was positively cute. The thing didn't even have a problem with Ariana, (which she found truly shocking).
"You'll have to put up a good strong defence, Hagrid," said Hermione, sitting down and laying a hand on Hagrid's massive forearm. "I'm sure you can prove Buckbeak is safe."
"Won' make no diff'rence!" sobbed Hagrid. "Them Disposal devils, they're all in Lucius Malfoy's pocket! Scared o' him! Ad if I lose the case, Buckbeak --"
Hagrid drew his finger swiftly across his throat, then gave a great wail and lurched forward, his face in his arms.
"What about Dumbledore, Hagrid?" said Harry.
"He's done more'n enough fer me already," groaned Hagrid. "Got enough on his plate what with keepin' them Dementors outta the castle, an' Sirius Black lurkin' around."
Ariana turned to Harry, half expecting him to start yelling at Hagrid for not telling him about Black's involvement with his parent's death, but for whatever reason Harry kept his mouth shut. Maybe he was learning to listen to her advice.
"Listen, Hagrid," Ariana said, "you can't give up. Hermione's right, You just need a good defence. You can call us as witnesses --"
"I'm sure I've read about a case of Hippogriff-baiting," said Hermione thoughtfully, "where the Hippogriff got off. I'll look it up for you, Hagrid, and see exactly what happened."
Hagrid sobbing got even louder. Ariana and Hermione looked at Ron and Harry to help them.
"Er -- shall I make a cup of tea?" said Ron.
Ariana stared at him.
"It's what my mum does whenever someone's upset," Ron muttered, shrugging.
At last, after many more assurances of help, with a steaming mug of tea in front of him, Hagrid blew his nose on a handkerchief the size of a tablecloth and said, "Yer right. I can' afford to go ter pieces. Gotta pull meself together..."
Fang came timidly out from under the table and laid his head on Hagrid's knee. Ariana pouted at the look in the creature's eyes. He was undeniably cute.
"I've not bin meself lately," said Hagrid, stroking Fang with one hand and mopping his face with the other. "Worried abou' Buckbeak, an' no one likin' me classes --"
"We do like them!" lied Hermione at once.
"Yeah, they're great!" said Ron, crossing his fingers under the table. "Er -- how are the flobberworms?"
"Dead," said Hagrid gloomily. "Too much lettuce."
"Oh no!" said Ron, his lip twitching. Ariana turned away to hide her laugh, grinning to herself.
"An' them Dementors make me feel ruddy terrible an' all," said Hagrid, with a sudden shudder. "Gotta walk past 'em ev'ry time I want a drink in the Three Broomsticks. 'S like bein' back in Azkaban --"
He fell silent, gulping his tea. Harry, Ron, and Hermione watched him breathlessly. They had never heard Hagrid talk about his brief spell in Azkaban before. After a pause, Hermione said timidly, "Is it awful in there, Hagrid?"
"Yeh've no idea," said Hagrid quietly. "Never bin anywhere like it. Thought I was goin' mad. Kep' goin' over horrible stuff in me mind...the day I got expelled from Hogwarts...day me dad died...day I had ter let Norbert go ..."
His eyes filled with tears. Ariana turned to Harry and mouthed. "Who's Norbert?"
Harry mouthed back. "Tell you later."
"Yeh can' really remember who yeh are after a while. An' yeh can' really see the point o' livin' at all. I used ter hope I'd jus' die in me sleep. When they let me out, it was like bein' born again, ev'rythin' came floodin' back, it was the bes' feelin' in the world. Mind, the Dementors weren't keen on lettin' me go."
"But you were innocent!" said Hermione.
Hagrid snorted.
"Think that matters to them? They don' care. Long as they've got a couple o' hundred humans stuck there with 'em, so they can leech all the happiness out of 'em, they don' give a damn who's guilty an' who's not."
Hagrid went quiet for a moment, staring into his tea. Then he said quietly, "Thought o' jus' letting Buckbeak go ...tryin' ter make him fly away...but how d'yeh explain ter a Hippogriff it's gotta go inter hidin'? An' -- an' I'm scared o' breakin' the law..." He looked up at them, tears leaking down his face again. "I don' ever want ter go back ter Azkaban."
Ariana looked down at her cup of tea. She didn't know what to say. There was no way she could promise to keep Hagrid out of Azkaban or promise that Buckbeak wouldn't get killed. All she could do was hope.
The trip to Hagrid's, though not enjoyable in any way, had been somewhat of a success. Harry had finally stopped moping around, sulking about Sirius Black. He had switched from trying to get revenge to trying to help Hagrid win his case against the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures. He, Ron, and Hermione dragged Ariana to the library the next day and returned to the empty common room, arms full with books that might help prepare a defence for Buckbeak.
The four of them sat in front of the roaring fire, slowly turning the pages of dusty volumes about famous cases of marauding beasts, speaking occasionally when they ran across something relevant.
"Here's something...there was a case in 1722...but the Hippogriff was convicted -- ugh, look what they did to it, that's disgusting --"
"This might help, look -- a Manticore savaged someone in 1296, and they let the Manticore off -- oh -- no, that was only because everyone was too scared to go near it..."
Ariana yawned, "As fascinating as reading about mistreated creatures is, I have to go post some Christmas presents."
Hermione frowned at her. "You haven't done that yet?"
Ariana shook her head. "I was planning to give it to them in person, but plans changed. Also, I'm still mad at you." She sent the older girl a harsh glare. "Don't think anything's changed because I want to help Hagrid."
She slammed her book closed and stormed up the stairs into her dorm room. She didn't know what to do. She was pissed at them all for even suggesting that she was siding with her father. But she could also see where they were coming from. She would have been cautious if the roles where reversed. And to be fair, Ariana did do some very questionable things, such as sneaking out all the time, always getting in trouble, having nightmares.
But she still couldn't push the betrayal away. Sure, they had only known each other a few months, but Ariana really cared for Hermione and Harry. Ron had been a bit of an idiot to her the whole time, so her feelings hadn't changed that much regarding him.
She sighed, sitting down on her bed, and putting her head in her hands. She heard the door creak open and saw Hermione walk in.
"Ariana..." she started, but Ariana didn't want to listen. She shook her head and tried to walk out the door, but Hermione blocked her. "Please, please just let me explain and apologise. Please?"
Ariana looked at the desperate expression in the brunette's eyes, before sighing and sitting back on her bed.
"Fine."
Hermione's face lit up for a split-second, before coming sombre again. "Okay, I never thought you were working with your father. I had talked to Harry about those things because I was worried about you. And Harry, well Harry never stopped defending you. He was just angry and lashed out at you. Please, please forgive us?"
Ariana felt all her resolve slipping away. This was the reason she didn't want to listen to an apology. She knew she was terrible at holding grudges. She pursed her lips, before muttering, "Fine."
"What?" Hermione asked.
Ariana smirked at her. "Fine! I forgive you guys."
Hermione squealed before crushing Ariana in a hug. "Don't make me regret this," she muttered in her ear.
Hermione squeezed her tighter. "I won't."
𝐆𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒
Sorry I disappeared for a while, I was on vacation.
I am in no way happy with this chapter, but I do what to make one thing clear: Ariana trusts and forgives way too easily. That's her fatal flaw. And it's because of her issues with abandonment, and her need to be loved. This won't seem that big of an issue now, but it will play a major role in the future.
Any way, see ya later!