Lucas picked me up after I was finished with physical therapy with Daniel and drove towards the gym.
"How are you feeling about tomorrow?" I asked as he focused on the road. He seemed like he was in a serious mood today, his eyes trained forwards on the road, jaw set stiffly in place.
He shrugged nonchalantly, "I'm just trying to keep my head in the game."
He didn't say much else and by the time we arrived at the gym, the silence was deafening. Lucas unlocked the gym door and walked into his office as I trailed unsurely behind him. I didn't know if he was nervous about his next opponent or about Silva.
Lucas hesitated, "I think you and Daniel should stay away from my last fights." His eyes were piercing as he looked at me. He looked fiercely protective.
"I don't think Daniel's going to like that," I replied imagining his brother's face when he was told he couldn't go to Lucas's fights and support his brother. Or be on national TV.
Lucas ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "Silva's been watching me. That much is clear. I can't take that risk while he's still a threat. And I can't risk getting distracted like that again." He referred to his underground street fight that I had interrupted with a look of disdain.
I took in the look of determination on his face. His eyes were practically glimmering in it. There was something else there. Something he'd tried to avoid letting anyone know.
"You're not just doing this for the title." I said slowly as I watched him flinch. There was something more there. I could see it in his eyes. "What are you planning on doing to Silva when you meet in that ring, Lucas?" My voice shook as I asked the question. But I knew I didn't need the answer. I already knew what his reply was going to be.
He hesitated before replying, "When we meet in that ring, I'll do what I need to do to get justice for my brother." His eyes were far off, as though he was imagining the event before him.
I gaped at him, "Lucas, you can't." A million scenarios floated through my head of retribution - all of them ending with Lucas in prison or dead. A shudder past through my spine at the very thought of losing Lucas from my life.
"I can't let him walk away scot free," Lucas replied avoiding eye contact.
"Think about Daniel, Lucas! You can't leave him alone. He's lost too much already." My voice was shaking as were my hands as I clasped my fingers together tightly in anxiety.
"I have no choice, Emily," his voice came out defeated.
I reached out for Lucas, grabbing his arm in my shaky hands and waiting for him to look at me. When he didn't, I tried to implore him with my words. "You do have a choice, Lucas. Win that fight. Take the title away from him. And then move on with your life because at least you'll have a life to move on with."
His eyes met mine and all I could see behind the dazzling blue was a tortured soul. One who had too much weight and responsibility on his shoulders. He looked exhausted. How long had he carried this weight on his back on his own? How long had he fought for others while neglecting himself? He reached out for me with his large, calloused hands and pulled me into his chest roughly.
I wrapped my arms around him and held on tightly, letting my actions speak louder than my words. I would be there for him and I think he was just starting to understand that.
"I don't think I'm strong enough to walk away," Lucas whispered. His voice was shaky and thick with emotion. His hold was so strong, I almost gasped for breath, but I held on just as tightly.
"You are. You're the strongest person I know and I'm not even talking about this title. Silva's a lost soul, don't let him take yours with him. You have so much to live for, Lucas. So many people that love you and care for you. You're strong in every meaning of the word."
I let my words wash over him as I repeated what he didn't hear much of. Though his body was strong, his mind was strong as well and when he pulled back, I could see his long eyelashes coated with tears.
I used my thumbs to wipe them away from his eyes, as he had done so many times for me.
"I love you, Lucas," I whispered to him as his gaze locked in with mine. "And I don't need you to say anything, I just wanted you to know that I would lost if something happened to you."
His hands reached out to brush through my hair, tucking it behind my ear and remaining there, his gaze piercing mine, "You... what?" He asked, seemingly in confusion.
I smiled up at him and brushed my fingers against his cheek lightly, "I love you. Is that so hard to believe?"
He shook his head before glancing back at me as though he couldn't believe I was standing in front of him, "I can't believe someone like you would even think to be around someone like me."
"If only you could see yourself the way that I see you," I repeated again, shaking my head. It felt like he never believed me when I told him how amazing he was. That made him even more amazing to me.
"I love you too, Emily. I have ever since you came to my gym to yell at me about Daniel's lessons," he laughed, the sound vibrating off of the walls. "I know you're too good for me, but I'm holding on to this for dear life because I don't know where I would be without you. I love you," he grinned as he leaned forward and tenderly placed his lips against mine.
My hands wrapped around him as he deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing mine, his hand fisting around my hair at the back of my head.
He paused after a moment, leaning his forehead against mine, his eyes closed and his chest heaving.
"I hope you haven't gotten too attached to my good luck at your fights because you're going to have to win the next few without me," I teased as I felt Lucas's wide chest rumble with laughter.
~
The next three fights flew by as Lucas reigned in the title for the winner of the ninth fight. Daniel and I had established a routine of waiting at the condo while Lucas, Miguel, and Kyle went to the fights in person. We'd load up on snacks and watch the fights until the guys would come back after the fight had been won.
Lucas would prepare chicken Parmesan and we'd all stay up late and eat and laugh. Though Daniel desperately wanted to be at the fights, he knew more than anyone that Silva was dangerous and unpredictable. That wasn't something to be taken lightly.
One thing was for sure and that was that the fights were getting more difficult and lasting longer than they had before. Lucas was fighting the world's best fighters. And I had a feeling that this last fight was going to be the worst one yet.