Fuck, is the only thing Louis can bring himself to think. Fuck.
This can't be happening. This can't be real. He must've been thrown into the deepest, darkest pits of Wonderland, because there is no way this could be anything but a vicious nightmare.
It feels so wrong, not being able to feel the small dents in his back where his wings are usually grown out and strong, bizarre to crawl up drenched from the ocean and not feel wet drops running down soaked, spun silver material, keeping him sane and balanced. He looks over to Niall and-unwillingly-to Harry, and he confirms that none of them have suffered this horrifying loss of magical traits, of course, because their bodies are designed for Earth, and Louis envies them so much it hurts.
We only function, Louis, in places that hold magic. Without it we are useless.
His mother's words ring in his ears, and his head spins faster and faster with each passing microsecond.
He's human.
"I'm human," he breathes out in terror.
"You are," Niall pats his back once again. "If it makes you feel better, there are no major changes in your appearance except the, uh, wings. And also, I think you've grown a good five inches at the least."
Louis fills his lungs to the brink with air and lets it out slowly, trying to calm himself down and force himself into getting accustomed to the absurd situation. He's grown, Niall claims, and when Louis looks at the cupid he realizes that he's right. Niall, who's usually around the same height as Louis, is now several inches shorter. That's a nice thing. Let's focus on the positive.
Louis pushes his ice cold legs to start moving forward as he carefully looks around for a sign of human life. He doesn't find any-but then again he wouldn't really call this suitable weather for a swim anyway, he figures as he looks up towards the thickly grey sky. Either the clouds are on their way off, or they're incoming. So there's a fifty percent chance rain could start falling at any second.
Niall is right by Louis the entire time, unquenchably cheery and lively as always. Louis can't help but admire it a little bit. They have after all just been close to an icy, cold death. Not even Louis' mood can be on top after that.
Not that Louis' rarely moody. He can be a nightmare when he wants to, and he takes full pride in it. He sees it as a good quality-it brings a bit of character. Besides, he has to be ready to whip out harsh words at any minute, because he's absolutely positive that if he didn't have the ability, people would walk all over him all the time. He's lost track of how many times people have tried. Breakable little fairy, sweet, happy, gullible creature. Louis can't be just that if he ever wants respect.
Not that he'd want to be just that. He's proud of the surprised looks he's managed to press upon condescending creatures' faces through the years.
He doesn't get any further before his thoughts are roughly cut off.
"Are those-wings?"
Both boys jump several feet up in the air at the sudden unfamiliar voice, swiftly turning around to see who's caught them. Niall folds his small wings in behind his back with bolt-like speed.
(A tiny part of Louis' mind is a little jealous of that ability- it must be very useful to be able to just tuck them away at times.)
The heavy majority of his mind is way too busy focusing on the alien boy in front of them, looking just as blown away by their presence as they are by his.
Louis is really growing tired of the universes' shit, because this is the third unbelievably attractive male stranger standing before him during startling circumstances in a very short amount of time. It's like this is fate's way of telling Louis he should take his ego down a notch.
For a moment he's way too mesmerized by warm, brown eyes and chiseled facial features to actually comprehend what's happening, too caught up in black leather clinging to thin arms and slim fingers clutching around a thick book-but then he snaps out of it and realizes this guy just saw Niall's wings, and fear colder than salt water in January starts seeping through his chest and down into his stomach.
What does this mean? What happens if an Earth Human sees magic? There must be consequences. There must be. Oh god. What if it's a life time in the Underworld? Is this how it ends? Fuck.
This is how it ends, this is it, Louis should've just stayed in Grimm to begin with, he shouldn't even have picked a fight with Harry in the first place, how could he be so stupid-
He snaps his head over to Niall, looking for support, for a way out-and finds himself quite dumfounded when he realizes the cupid doesn't look very terrified at all. His eyes are widened in definite shock, but it's not scared. Rather, there's a kind of... Amazement.
Amazement? Louis is ninety-nine percent sure they're doomed to death, and Niall looks amazed?
But then Niall breathes out a "Zayn?" and it all clicks into place.
Louis decides that if Zayn's personality is even half as pretty as his complexion, Liam definitely did well with his soulmate, because this guy, he looks-he looks magical. He's simply too attractive to be only human, Louis would be absolutely positive, and yet. Here he is. A human.
Zayn doesn't respond immediately, just lets his eyes wander from Niall to Louis and back to Niall again a couple of times, trying to make sense of what's happening. Louis understands him; he'd be pretty confused, too.
"I... I am awake, right?" he asks slowly, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Yeah," Niall breathes before clearing his throat subtly. "Why-wouldn't you be?"
The new boy looks down on his feet and buries his hands in the pockets of his washed out jeans.
"Just tell me if those were wings or if I'm crazy," he mumbles.
Louis doesn't know a lot about rules on Earth, but he's absolutely certain they're breaking so many of them it's not even funny as Niall nods, slowly folding his wings out again while carefully watching Zayn's facial expression.
Zayn closes his eyes tightly, breathing slowly in and out a couple of times and massaging his temples.
"Can you please explain what's going on? How do you know who I am?" he pleads lowly, and it sounds calm enough but Louis can definitely hear the distress he's trying to push aside. "Because I think... Am I going crazy?"
Niall is about to answer something soothing, but he's interrupted before he even has the chance to begin as another creature joins their little conversation.
Liam seems to have finally regained control over his freezing legs and succeeded to wobblingly move them all the way up to the other three. His breath is ragged, and his hand is trembling and cold when he puts it on Louis' shoulder for comfort. He doesn't look up at Zayn, but rather locks his exhausted gaze with Louis' first, confusion evident on his face.
"I almost drowned," he declares, but the way his eyelids are hanging tiredly kind of takes the firmness of his words away.
"I know," Louis tries to comfort. Whether that's the best reply to achieve the desired effect stands unanswered, but he decides it'll do. "But you didn't."
Liam nods shakily, seeming a little calmer for a few seconds before he remembers his next issue.
"Louis," he mumbles. "Why are we not magical?"
"Because we're on Earth," Louis explains and pets Liam's damp head lightly. "Looks like we're going to have to be without our powers for a while."
Liam frowns.
"Earth?" he echoes. "That's. That's where we wanted to go, right?"
"Yeah," Louis assures him.
Niall is beaming beside them. "I should've trusted that fate always finds a way around everything. This is way too good to be some kind of coincidence."
Louis could argue with this. He doesn't really agree that him having to lose his wings would be a 'good' thing, no matter what comes with it. He'd rather try and tuck them away for the stay or something, hide, maybe, than having to do without them. He feels out of place without them. Tied down.
He bites his lip though, to force the remarks to stay silent on his tongue, and settles for writing an angry note to fate in his mind. That'll suffice for now.
Liam has yet to look up right in front of him, so he's still unaware of the new person watching him with wide, curious eyes. Louis exchanges a mildly stressed look with Niall, wondering what exactly will happen when Liam does notice, given the state he's in.
"I'm really tired," Liam manages to get out in-between heavy breaths. "Can we just-rest?"
Louis is about to answer something reassuring and slightly patronizing, but he's cut off before he gets there, because Zayn parts his lips to speak.
"I've seen you in my dream."
Liam immediately snaps his head up, surprised by the unfamiliar voice blurting out such an unexpected thing. The moment their brown eyes lock, Liam goes completely still.
It's terribly quiet for several seconds, Liam and Zayn just staring at each other in shock while Louis and Niall move attentive eyes between the pair.
And then Liam's knees go weak and he grips tighter around Louis shoulders as he whines out a "oh, for god's sake," shutting his eyes tight in something only akin to agony.
Louis thinks that this is a face of a man who's finally had too much.
Understandable.
Louis stumbles a little from the sudden pressure, gripping under Liam's arms to support him.
"Wow, now," he says, petting Liam's head softly. "It's all right, Liam. Deep breaths, yeah? In and out. We can do this."
To be quite honest, Louis isn't entirely sure Liam can do this.
"Can we-sit down?" Liam splutters breathily, making it very clear Louis' half-hearted breathing exercises had no effect.
"Is this really what you want his first impression of you to be like?" Louis scolds, like an unhappy mother, but he does lower Liam to the ground. Liam slumps down like a massive weight is on his shoulders, forcing him to bury his hands in the sand and hang his head tiredly.
Zayn's beautiful face has gone from amazement and confusion to concern. "Is he... Okay?"
"I just need a minute," Liam breathes.
"He just needs a minute," Louis repeats, shooting Zayn a reassuring grin that aches in his cheeks. "He'll be just fine, this is just a little overwhelming for him-surely you understand."
Zayn barely seems to listen to Louis' kind convincing, worried frown firmly set on the shaken shape shifter on the ground.
"Hey," he tries softly, leaning down to come closer to Liam's face which is currently stubbornly facing the ground. "Is everything alright?"
Liam's eyes fly open again with remarkable speed at the realization of Zayn speaking to him, and his entire body jolts upwards, he snaps his head up to look at Zayn.
Unfortunately, Zayn leans down a little too far a little too early, and Liam manages to bang his head straight into Zayn's nose, causing him to fall backwards with a pained hiss and a hand covering his face.
If Liam looked distressed before, he looks terrified now.
"Shit!" he exclaims, flying up on his feet, the previous unsteadiness of his legs obviously forgotten about. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Zayn reaches out a hand to wave it dismissively, taking another two steps back. His brow is furrowed in agony and when Louis looks at Liam, the shape shifter looks so utterly horrified Louis fears he might just implode.
"I'm sorry," Liam tries again hopelessly. "God I'm sorry, are you-are you bleeding?"
Zayn shakes his head quickly, tentatively removing his hand from his face to bop his nose carefully with his palm a couple of times, checking if it actually is alright. It seems to be, luckily for him-and for Liam's mental health.
"I'm-ah, I'm fine, I'm okay," Zayn assures, locking his and Liam's gazes with sincerity. "Really."
Liam stills looks anxious, but his spine unstiffens and his shoulders sink down until almost normal height.
"I-okay," he breathes. "Okay. Sorry."
Zayn can't help but let a small smile play on his lips, and he nods softly. "What's your name?"
"Liam," Liam gets out. "My name is Liam."
"Hi Liam," Zayn attempts tentatively. "I'm Zayn."
"I know." Liam stops himself, looking horrified at letting such a thing slip out with such eagerness, and his neck flushes red. "Uh-I mean-"
"We should probably talk?" Niall cuts off before Liam has the opportunity to torture himself even further. "Like, really talk about this whole-situation. It's not exactly just something you get over with in ten minutes."
Zayn scratches his neck and nods, straining himself to keep his breath as steady as possible.
"I figured as much," he agrees.
Louis is so torn. He's absolutely positive they're not allowed to do this, one hundred percent sure that this is already breaking all sorts of rules, rules that could get them killed at worst. Niall shouldn't be doing this. Besides that, Louis' never felt this uncomfortable with his own body before in his life. It's so limited like this, so heavy and earth bound, and his balance is so rubbed he can feel his stomach twisting with every step he takes. He doesn't want this. He needs the magic back, he needs his wings.
"Do you maybe have a place where we could do this?" Louis urges, fidgeting nervously.
Zayn looks contemplative. "I would take you to my flat, but London's two hours away form here and I was kind of hoping to stay a little while longer. And I think my flat mate's home anyway and he's probably having... Guests. So it's probably not the best option."
"Alright. Let's just do it here, then," Louis suggests. "Sit down in the sand and have a nice chat."
"It's going to be cold," Zayn figures. "This is England, after all," he adds, as if that's something Louis' supposed to understand the point of.
"Then-make up a fire, knit blankets, I don't care," he whines. "Just get it over with so we can move on from here-"
"-We're not moving on from here," Niall interrupts him promptly with a rigorous look at Louis. "Not for a while, I'd say. We have plenty of time."
A chilly blow of wind sweeps through right at that moment, causing the hairs on Louis' arms to stand up and his teeth to clapper harshly.
"Fire," he mutters, figuring he could argue the point with Niall at a more fitting occasion. "Let's make a fire. And where's the closest place to get food? Because I'm fucking starving."
So he gets a little more grumpy when he's tired and hungry-so what? He's positive everyone does at some level. Louis' got a better reason than most, honestly, what with the unfortunate world change to top it off and everything. It's justified.
Zayn seems to mull this over for a minute, before getting a look of enlightenment in his otherwise dark eyes.
"There is a small fireplace over there where we could make one up. We could make s'mores," he says, plump lips widening into a grin. "I think we should make s'mores. We could take the train to a grocery store or something, it's maybe half an hour per way. Kill some time to get to know each other a little better."
Louis does not have time for this. "What the hell are s'mores?"
Zayn stops his planning abruptly to give Louis a proper stare.
"You've never had s'mores?" he asks, wide-eyed. His eyes are so pretty Louis almost forgets that he's supposed to answer a question.
He can only imagine how hard of a time Liam is having.
"No," he frowns. "Is it a human invention?"
Zayn looks horrified. "How have you lived?"
Louis just shrugs. It's quiet for a while, Zayn taking this in, moving his eyes back and forth between Louis and Liam in awed disbelief.
"Have you... Ever been to a grocery store, then?" he asks carefully.
He receives two blank stares, and he whistles, clearly taken aback.
"Wow." He drags out the word. "I'm-I'm sure we'll clear up how that's even possible later, yeah?"
"Sure." Louis is a tiny bit intrigued. What is this grocery store? Why is it so necessary to Zayn?
Zayn nods, breathing heavily. It must be a lot to take in, this. Louis is kind of fascinated with how calm he manages to remain. Wonderland must've fucked him up really bad, or he's just a little insane to begin with. Louis wouldn't know.
"Okay, so-Liam, yeah?" Zayn points at Liam, who merely nods, eyes still blown wide when he looks at the new boy. Zayn nods as well and turns to Louis. "What's your name?"
"I'm Louis," Louis introduces himself, putting on a blinding smile for best effect. "And this is Niall."
Zayn returns the smile timidly, and then swoops his gaze over to set on something behind them.
"What about you, then?" he asks lightly.
Louis, for the first time since Pantheon, turns to look where Zayn is aiming his attention and sees Harry, whom he hasn't even realized was standing there, and he's suddenly curious as to why he's so awfully quiet.
It instantly becomes clear that something's incredibly, seriously wrong, judging by the frank, undisguised horror in the spirit's eyes. Louis almost flinches back in mere surprise, because he's seen Harry upset before, he's seen him angry and bashful and dejected, but he's never seen Harry look scared.
It's uncomfortable to see. His entire body is rigid and his eyes are so wide and his jaw is slack, and Louis has to fight to not let his guard down once again to attempt calming him down. He knows what could happen now if he does, and he's still so confused he has a headache just thinking about it, but under no circumstances will he ever risk it again.
There's no 'hello' from Harry. There's no arm extended for a handshake, there's not even a tight smile or a cocked eyebrow. There's just a whole lot of shocked staring, as if he's forgotten how to move his limbs.
Then he breaks out of it.
"Excuse me," he mutters, before briskly turning on his heels and hurrying off before anyone even gets to say a word.
Everyone's staring after him with furrowed brows, not saying a word for a while. Confusion is palpably thick in the air.
It's Zayn who awkwardly breaks the silence.
"So my guess is he doesn't like me very much...?"
"No!" The other three erupt into protests, eager to assure Zayn that that's absolutely not the case, even though no one's entirely sure. "No, no, that's just Harry being Harry, it's nothing personal-"
"I'm sure he'll come back," Louis says, patting his arm. "Harry's a little irrational, if you will. Leave it for now."
He's not too sure of his own words, though. A part of him really wants to run after and demand an explanation, but he can't do that. Louis has decided not to talk to Harry ever again. If that were to ever happen in the future, Harry would have to be the one coming crawling back with apologies, because Louis is certain it's all the spirit's fault.
Liam sighs.
"I'll go after and try finding out?" he proposes, glancing at Louis especially, as if he wants some kind of permission, as if he's expecting Louis to go 'no, I'll do it' and run off before anyone has the chance to blink. As if Harry's somehow Louis' forte, as if there's some kind of connection.
He's not going to do that, though. And that's not true. Harry's not going to be Louis' problem anymore.
So he shrugs, putting on his best nonchalant face. "It's not my problem, is it? We'll be leaving soon anyway, he'll have time to get over whatever it is."
Liam winces at the thought of having to leave, the corners of his mouth sinking and Louis immediately feels bad.
"I'll go and talk to him then," he confirms, before stumbling off towards the spot Harry's now sat down in.
Louis' stomach quivers a little like it does when he knows he's done something wrong but won't apologize for it. He scratches his neck loosely and turns to stare right into the disapproving blueness of Niall's eyes. Damn it.
"Zayn, would you excuse us for a second?" he asks, very politely and passive aggressively, and Louis gulps. When Niall loses his smile it's a sign of something serious going down, he's been able to understand that much during the short time they've known each other.
Zayn just nods a little in mild confusion, and so Niall pulls Louis with him a few meters away, not a lot unlike Louis had with him back by the portal in Venus' chapel.
"Why do you keep talking about leaving?" Niall demands as soon as they're out of earshot, and his usually blinding smile is nowhere to be seen. Louis flinches uncomfortably.
"Because we are?" he replies, raising a questioning eyebrow. They are, right? They must be.
"Are you kidding?" Niall hisses. "No, we're not!"
What?
Louis blinks once, twice, three times, trying to find words. What does Niall mean they're not leaving? They have to leave! Louis is not going to live with this. He can't.
"Why not?" he presses, slightly frantic.
"Because we're on Earth! Zayn is here, Louis. I've been struggling and fighting for this very union to happen for so long. I'm not going to abandon what could be the only chance I'm going to get to pair them up. This where we are now, and we're staying as long as it's not life threatening."
Louis is going to pass out any minute. The first and only time Louis is the one who wants to keep moving, they're suddenly staying? For an undetermined amount of time?
What did Louis ever do to deserve this injustice?
"Niall," he pleads. "I don't like it here!"
"You've been here for a total of twenty minutes, you don't get to decide that yet. And if you desperately want to, I could tell you how to find the next portal and you could keep going on your own, but I really don't think you want that, do you?"
That silences Louis effectively, and he resigns to biting his lip and avoiding Niall's gaze. No, he kind of really doesn't want that. He hates to admit it, but he's secretly grown a little attached to this thing they're doing, no matter how much dislike he's expressed thus far. It's been making him feel a little less small and a little more like a hero.
Niall seems to understand that's what Louis' thinking even without an audible reply from the fairy, and he nods slowly.
"We're going to stay here," he says slowly, facial expression stating that this is not a suggestion. "Because Earth is safe, three of us know our way around it, if we bring Zayn along to any of our magical universes our punishment would be a never-ending life in the Underworld, and lastly-I don't know, do you want to live with separating two soulmates on your conscience, anyway?"
No. Louis doesn't. Especially not with the Sophia incident still nagging at the back of his mind.
So he decides there and then, to push it all aside for now as well as he can, and do this for Liam. Because he likes Liam. Because Liam deserves this more than anyone he knows, probably.
"Fine," he states. "For Liam. But I don't have to like it."
That seems to do the trick to put an end to Niall's stream of serious facial expressions, and he breaks into a wide smile.
"Don't worry, Louis, I have a feeling you will," he beams. "Now, let's go to the grocery store."
"What even is a grocery store, anyway?" Louis mutters, wandering along.
Niall doesn't answer, so the conversation ends there and they get back to Zayn smoothly, reassuring smiles on their faces. Zayn returns them with one of his own, and then gets right back to watching Liam trying to speak to Harry. And failing, by the looks of it.
Harry still hasn't moved an inch from his place. Louis watches him with mixed emotions as Liam tries to communicate with him, evidently not succeeding as Harry doesn't react in the slightest. Louis finds himself wanting to hurry down there and scold Harry for being childish and tell him to snap out of it. He reminds himself sternly that he's not speaking to Harry anymore. Lecturing him is not his job.
It's obvious that Liam's on the verge of giving up, and when he finally does it's with a heavy sigh running through his entire body, and he gets up with shoulders slumping in defeat.
"There's nothing that even lures out the smallest reaction from him," he tells the other boys when he reaches them. "I think we'll have to go without him."
That does awaken something ugly in Louis' chest. No one knows what Harry will do if they leave him here.
"What if he leaves?" he can't help but protest. "If we don't know what the problem is, we don't know how he'll deal with it. What if we come back and he's gone?"
Niall raises an eyebrow.
"You're more than welcome to try and talk to him if you want, Louis."
"No!" Louis snaps quickly. "I just don't think it's a good idea to leave him alone when we know so little. What if he hurts himself?"
"Does that matter to you, then?"
Niall's voice is unforgiving and blunt, but what makes it so awful is that it's not mean. It's a genuine question, as if Niall's trying to figure them out. Louis doesn't want Niall to figure anything out. He doesn't want Niall to find connections and do stupid over-analyzations of their behavior. He doesn't want this.
And so he wants to protest, but he can't, because there's nothing to defend himself from. He'd just make himself look guilty and foolish, and in denial. Which, he might be the latter but he also might not be at all. And he doesn't need anyone else analyzing his feelings and intentions.
So he realizes, he has no other choice but to let it be.
"I'm not a bad person, I don't want anyone to hurt," he mutters so quietly he wonders if anyone even heard him, before speaking up properly. "Alright, then. Lead the way, Zayn."
~
The grocery store is called Tesco, and Louis is in awe.
He doesn't love admitting it, but he hasn't quite stopped being in awe since they left the beach. Zayn gave Niall his leather jacket to cover up his wings, and then they took off towards the 'underground'-which is not at all some kind of doomsday place for lost souls, but a way of traveling under the ground, Louis notes fascinatedly-and after the underground, into town and to the bespoken supermarket.
It's all so overwhelming to Louis. There are just so much of everything, so much people and so much noise and so much stuff and-so much food. So much food, all collected in one place. So it's totally understandable that Louis is amazed.
He's just walking around behind Zayn with Liam on his right and Niall behind them, wide-eyed making his impression.
Maybe Earth isn't so bad, after all. A place containing grocery stores can't be a source of too much evil. Maybe Louis can live with this for a while.
"Okay..." Zayn casually strolls down one of the filled aisles, looking for something. "We're going to need graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate."
Louis only knows what one of those things are, but he figures if chocolate's involved, then it must be good. His mood is a lot better now than before, and now he's just excited. Things are definitely looking up.
He looks over to Liam, who's wistfully staring at Zayn's back as the boy picks out a plastic package with white, fluffy content from one of the shelves.
"He's so pretty, Louis," the shape shifter whines lowly. "What do I do?"
Louis can't suppress a grin. "Shouldn't you be asking Niall this? He's our expert, after all."
"I have, and he won't tell me anything." Louis swears Liam is genuinely pouting like a six year old, and he snickers.
"Then I guess you'll just have to figure it out on your own. But if it makes you feel better, he seems just as enamored with you."
Liam obviously tries to hide a smile by tucking his face into his shoulder, but he's not fooling Louis. "You think so?"
Louis grins widely and pats Liam's back. "I really do."
"Liam!" Zayn suddenly calls out a few steps in front of them. "Can you, ah-help me for a bit?"
Liam instantly snaps his head up, once again in awe over the fact that Zayn chose to acknowledge his existence, and abandons Louis to walk up to him. Zayn's currently holding graham crackers, chocolate, marshmallows, and a pack of napkins in his hands simultaneously and it's looking rather difficult. He should've taken one of those plastic baskets by the entrance, Louis thinks.
Before he has a chance to react, Niall is by his side instead, a smug smirk on his lips as he watches Liam walk.
"Wait for it..." he whispers.
Louis' about to ask what exactly he's supposed to be waiting for, but just as he opens his mouth, Liam just trips over absolutely nothing, and he knocks into Zayn, making him drop all his goods on the floor.
"Is Liam actually this clumsy or is that you just fucking around with him?" Louis mumbles, suppressing an amused smirk. "Because this shouldn't be physically possible."
Niall snickers. "I'm merely doing my job."
Liam-obviously-starts apologizing profusely before they've even reached the floor.
"Hey, hey, I'm fine," Zayn calms Liam through the endless stream of sorry's. "Is it, like, a thing of yours to try and knock out new people you meet?"
His smile is crooked and playful, and Louis is almost positive Liam will ruin this attempt at almost-flirty banter with more apologies.
Liam definitely surprises, though, as he blurts out:
"Only pretty ones."
It's obviously not planned and Louis can imagine how wide Liam's eyes must be with terror in that very moment, but the comment makes Zayn blush and look away, smile nipping at his pink lips. Louis counts it as a victory.
"Nice one, Liam," Niall whistles, visibly impressed.
Louis wipes his eyes delicately.
"My boy," he sighs, voice dramatically trembling. "Growing up and making boys blush. Brings tears to my eyes."
"Truly," Niall nods, putting a comforting hand on Louis' shoulder. "Before you know it they're going to go on dates and share clothes and blow each other in semi-public places."
Louis wrinkles his nose. "Don't ruin this for me."
Niall just laughs as they start moving towards the pair who've managed to collect the things off the floor and carefully stand up again.
"You got all you need?" he asks them, eyes glinting.
Liam sends him a subtle glare and Zayn nods.
"Yeah, I think this is it."
Louis lets his eyes wander along the aisle one last time out of pure curiosity, but he stops at a particularly intriguing thing, narrowing his eyes.
"Nutella? What's that?" he asks.
"Oh," Zayn raises his eyebrows. "Chocolate and hazelnut cream. You put it on sandwiches and in pastries and stuff. It's really good."
"Hold on." Louis can't let this go. This is an astounding invention. This is-this could be Louis' favorite thing. He loves chocolate and he loves hazelnuts. "It's like... The consistency is like sticky cookie batter? But chocolate and hazelnut flavored?"
Louis loves cookie batter.
"Uh. Sure. I guess you could say that," Zayn replies, visibly amused by the fairy's awe. "I could buy a jar for you if you want?"
Louis dropped jaw and glossy eyes in amazement is enough of an answer.
~
If people look at him weirdly as he clutches a jar of Nutella tightly to his chest on the ride back to the beach, Louis doesn't care.
~
Harry hasn't moved. He's still sitting in the exact place they left him when they get back, and Louis sighs out a breath of relief he hasn't even realized he's been holding.
"I'll go and get the fire ready," Zayn says, looking hesitantly at Liam. "Do-do you want to help me?"
Liam's eyes go wide, as if it's absolutely unthinkable to him that Zayn would still seek out his help. "I-Of course! I mean. Yes. I'd like that."
Zayn just smiles, and they both start walking in a comfortable pace over to the small fireplace a bit further away. Their arms touch ever so slightly at times, and Louis sighs, content.
"Young love is such a beautiful thing," he states dreamily. Niall hums.
"Theirs certainly is," he agrees. "So, um. It's nice to see Harry hasn't done anything, right?"
Louis knows where this is going and he's not playing along.
"Please don't."
Niall groans and locks his fingers together in a pleading gesture. "Oh, come on, Louis, at least try?"
Louis draws his finger around in swirly patterns in the sand. "I can't see why you don't just try."
"We both know he won't listen to me."
"Send Zayn then, maybe that'll do. That seems to be where the issue lies, anyway."
"Louis."
"I'm not doing it, Niall!"
Niall groans in frustration, running both hands through his hair.
"When are you going to stop wimping around and admit you actually care for him? Because I've known you for barely twelve hours and I'm already done with it."
"Fine!" Louis snaps, standing up abruptly and glaring at the cupid. "I'll fucking try, just stop talking. And don't blame me if things get worse."
With that said and without waiting for any type of response, he staggers off towards the other end of the beach where Harry's currently sitting, quiet and completely still, watching the waves calmly wash into the shore. Louis stops for a moment, sighs and tries to push aside the anger and frustration that came with Niall so bluntly calling him out. He's making this whole thing a way too big deal.
It's just that Niall sees so much. Liam's been peacefully oblivious and unquestioning, and that fits Louis perfectly. This is-this is different. This is new and frustratingly enough, vulnerable, and Louis doesn't want to face what his relation to Harry means. He wants to keep going as if it's normal and ignore questions and other things that may have to make him stop and think through whatever they're doing, and Niall makes that so hard.
Louis shakes his head and breathes deeply a couple of times, and then he sits down next to Harry in the damp sand.
He doesn't know what to say. Still really doesn't want to talk to Harry, if he's completely honest, doesn't even know if he's able to properly look him in the eye ever again, so he just sits quietly, trying to make himself as small as possible. Which probably is a first for him.
Harry doesn't even bat an eyelid, just keeps his gaze firmly aat the horizon, which is growing increasingly golden while the sky above fades gently from lavender into a dark purple.
Louis fumbles for a suitable phrase to initiate the conversation. Something humble, yet straight forward and stern. Something light-hearted, yet serious. Something that'll make Harry think.
"I really like sunsets," is what he ends up with.
Harry still won't look at him, but Louis can see his eyebrow raise. "Okay."
"It's just one of those things, you know? Like, it's constant. I mean, everything's been so messy lately. We've been roughly tossed between different circumstances and conflicts and met new people in new worlds and seen how different creatures live their lives, and it's like, it's exciting, but-you lose grip, I think, of consistency. You lose grip." Louis continues rambling to fill up the empty space of silence. "But the sun still always sets somewhere. Time always passes in the same secure pace no matter what we do, or how we perceive it. Nature always keeps going, regardless of messy or confusing or hard things around you are. It never stops, it never flies. It ticks on steadily. And I think-I think that's really nice."
He quietens for a moment, and Harry huffs. He still won't look anywhere but straight in front of him.
"How very wise if you. Was there a point, or...?"
"No, not really," Louis replies honestly. "I'm just really enthusiastic about nature."
"You would be." Harry rolls his eyes, but Louis swears there's amusement faintly playing on his face. Unwillingly, because he contains it immediately, going back to looking empty of emotion, and Louis swallows.
"So," he starts, but Harry cuts him off right away.
"I know what you're doing," he says tiredly. "Please leave me alone."
"It's funny that you know, because I don't," Louis snaps. "I'd decided to not talk to you, but apparently, you're being so frustratingly difficult that Niall's forcing me."
Harry doesn't even blink. "Why have you decided to not talk to me?"
He's doing it deliberately to avoid the actual subject in need of discussion, but Louis' ears still heat up.
"You know why."
"Ah. Bit of an overreaction, though, don't you think?"
"I do not."
"You're attractive, I'm attractive. Big deal. It's just a kiss, anyway."
Louis flinches a little at the mention, and he can't help but feel a little hurt by the triviality of which Harry speaks about the incident. Obviously it's nothing big-especially not to Harry, who Louis would imagine merely sees stuff like that as a way to pass time-but still. He doesn't want to be a 'just' anything to anyone. Even if it's someone like Harry. He needs to always be spectacular.
He's determined not to let that show, though.
"What's bugging you?" he asks quietly.
Harry lets the sound of softly crashing waves fill the space between them for a while, and Louis watches him clench his jaw as he contemplates what to do.
"I can't be around Zayn," he says at last, flatly.
"What?" Louis stares. "Why?"
"That's not important. What's important is that it's not an option to keep Zayn around while I'm there, and if you still want him with you so badly I'll be just fine on my own."
"Of course it's important why!" Louis can't help but raise his voice, heat of frustration flaring in his chest. "Am I supposed to just walk up to him like 'no offence, I know you just found your soulmate, but I'm going to need you to leave because Harry said so'? I'm not doing that!"
"Well, too fucking bad for you," Harry snaps back, "figure something out because I'm not doing this."
"Are you really willing to do this to Liam? Again?"
"This doesn't have anything to do with Liam."
"Like hell it doesn't!"
The words do have an effect to an extent, something pained flashing by in Harry's eyes before they're taken over by stern resolution again. "I don't mean for it to."
"What did Zayn ever do to you anyway? He seems nice!"
"You don't get it. That's not the issue."
"Then what is it?"
"He's one of my humans." Harry's fists tighten and unclench as he at last lets his guard fall, snapping his head in Louis' direction to glare at him furiously, and it would be terrifying if he didn't look so desperate at the same time. "He went on a trip with a couple of friends to the Greek's territory of Earth once. I've worked with him, Louis, I've-I've seen all the ugly little cracks and creases of his mind, I've felt his entire life hurt so badly he couldn't even be free from it on a vacation he went on just to enjoy-I've known all his memories and darkest secrets, I've entered his life to cause him pain and left before I got to know him and now-"
His voice breaks on the last vowel and he looks away, humiliation evident in the way his shoulders slump.
"You've never really faced the consequences of your job, have you?" Louis asks slowly, carefully, as realization dawns upon him.
Harry scoffs. "I've never had to."
He's never had to. Louis ponders this statement with tumbling bewilderment-but also a hint of comprehension. Because that would make sense, maybe. That Harry hasn't felt bad about his actions so far not necessarily because he purely, simply and horribly enjoys pain, but because he's never seen the bigger picture.
It doesn't-it doesn't excuse anything, god, but it's something Louis can work with. It's something Louis can use to come closer and help him in the right way.
"Please don't run from it, then," is what Louis says.
"I have to," Harry whispers. "You can't get attached to your clients. Especially not with my job, do you know what would happen if I sympathized with every single person I had to work with? I'd implode."
"You haven't seen the way Liam looks at him. I'm afraid we have no choice but to keep him around, Harry. Besides, I think... I think it'd be a good thing for you, maybe."
"A good thing for me?" Harry barks out a horrified, short laugh and bores his gaze into Louis' own with disbelief. "You don't get it-Zayn's life sucks, Louis. He's an orphan. No one knows who his actual parents are. He's been passed on through various host families, some who've treated him awfully. His pain is pulsing through my entire body every single time I look at his face-his worst memories and his mistakes and his trauma and I-it would not be good for me, and it would not be good for him either. It just wouldn't."
"Maybe not that part," Louis admits. "I understand that. But it might help to get to see him have a happy ending. Despite it all."
Harry shuts his jaw, going completely silent. Louis can practically hear the thoughts bouncing around inside that curly head of his, and he lets him think things through in peace.
So Louis looks back out on the open ocean, counting the rolling waves as they approach, and lets himself be reminded of time once again.
It's been quiet and uneventful for so long that Louis jerks back, startled, when Harry suddenly shoots straight up onto his feet, brushing off sand from his black jeans.
"You going to keep sitting here, then?" he asks Louis casually. His jaw is still tense and he tries to come off as arrogantly nonchalant, but Louis can see the hint of determination in the curve of his lips.
He fights a smug smile from erupting on his face as he stands up as well, and starts walking behind Harry.
They join the three boys around the fire quietly, Harry offering Zayn a hesitant smile and a hand shake, and Niall mouths a 'thank you' around a big smile to Louis behind their backs. As if Louis is some sort of miracle worker.
And, like, Louis kind of is. He's very aware. But there's a feeling taking root in his ribcage making it swell up brightly, and he thinks it's pride, and that scares him a little. Being the only one who could convince Harry to break out of his mood, being the one he trusted to tell, it all does something wobbly and soft to Louis and it feels-bloody fantastic, actually, to know that someone trusts him like that.
Especially Harry, a tiny voice says in his head. Especially Harry, who doesn't seem to trust anyone.
"So, Zayn," Niall starts suddenly, snapping Louis out of his thoughts. "I was hoping your conscience could be removed from Wonderland while still making you think it was all a dream. That didn't really seem to succeed, since you're taking, well-our existence, as well as you are."
Zayn flinches a little at the mention of Wonderland, frowning and biting his lip. "It was just... too real to be a dream. I remember too much, and too intensely, it just-it can't have been. It had this-this whole, solid plot, like, I remember getting there, and locating myself, and meeting all these people, and getting in and out of trouble, and then finally finding a portal, and-and when I went through the portal, that's when I woke up. I even woke up with a cut on my arm I got from one of the play card's spears, and still I was right there in my bed, in the very same position I fell asleep in. How does that work?"
There is a mutual widening of eyes around the fire, staring disbelievingly at Zayn, who seems very uncomfortable with the attention.
"You-escaped yourself?" Niall asks, eyes blown wide and jaw slack. "Through a portal?"
"I mean, yeah. I think so."
"And you ended up here? On Earth?"
"It'd be safe to assume, wouldn't it?"
A strained, disbelieving silence stretches around them for several moments as this information sinks in.
"Well. What seems to have happened," Niall starts slowly, "was that w-someone, moved you into Wonderland. It's a very, very dangerous move, since your presence there might cause serious imbalance because you're an Earth human and Wonderland is built up by your people's imagination. But, the thought was-probably-that you were supposed to follow Liam, Harry and Louis when you were there, and then travel with them out of there? That didn't go exactly as planned, though. So naturally I-someone's-been freaking out a little about that because you were left to your fate in Wonderland all by yourself. But apparently there's no need for that, because you... Escaped yourself. Through a portal. And you ended up back on Earth. I have no idea how one human could have that much luck, but fate must fucking adore you."
When Niall finally stops talking, he does so with a shake of his head, his eyes still firmly on Zayn as if he's a puzzle Niall can't figure out. Zayn, meanwhile, doesn't look like this explanation made thing much clearer to him at all.
"Has anyone ever told you that making sense of things might not be your strongest quality?" he asks, and Louis can't help but burst out a small laugh.
"I like you," he exclaims happily.
Niall rolls his eyes. "Don't sass me, mate. I possess powers you could never dream of."
"What are your powers?"
"It's-" Niall starts, but quietens. He can't really tell Zayn what his job is, Louis guesses, because Zayn would probably figure out then that Liam is his soulmate. And that would probably make things forced. The chemistry wouldn't work out as naturally. "I can't say. I'm sorry."
Zayn frowns. "But I was supposed to meet you all, yeah? Why?"
Niall scratches his neck, and Louis can practically watch his thoughts race.
"Some things that fate wants is a mystery even to us," he at last says lightly. "I guess we'll all see in time."
It's not the richest lie Louis' ever heard, but it doesn't seem to faze Zayn too much. Which Louis guesses makes sense. After all, who's a mortal to question these things?
"Is it all real, then?" he asks, dropping the subject easily and quite eagerly. "The universes?"
Louis nearly passes out with distress at that because how does Zayn even have the slightest idea-but Niall just nods.
"All you've read in books and religion studies is true. I'm from the Roman, Louis and Liam are from the Norse and Grimm, and Harry is from the Greek."
And maybe that makes sense, then, that Zayn knows from books. Louis remembers his mother telling him that the humans on Earth still needed to know, still needed to believe, for the worlds to be able to go on. Of course there must be books for that to work properly.
And Louis would guess that Zayn is one who believes, because he currently looks like a little child on Christmas morning. No confusion, no concern, no anxiety-just pure excitement and joy. His eyes are sparkling.
"I fucking knew it," he exclaims giddily, moving his marshmallow away from the fire to cram it in-between two graham crackers. "I-I knew it was too complicated and thought out to be only stories. Fuck."
He looks to the other three with expectant eyes. "Are none of you allowed to tell me what you are? Because I'd love to know. I've read all there is to know, I swear-nothing can shock me."
Liam obeys first, blurting out an "I'm a shape shifter," without even hesitating, obviously so eager to please Zayn already.
Zayn's smile only widens, showing off his white teeth. "What kind?"
"A wolf," Liam scratches his neck. "But I'm not too sure it fits me. I'm not fearless enough."
"I think it fits you perfectly," Zayn tells him gently. "You made the decision to make this trip, yes?"
"Yeah, I guess," Liam agrees.
"Well, if that isn't fearless I don't know what is."
Liam snaps his head up to lock his eyes with Zayn's encouraging ones, and the smile that slowly breaks out over his face makes Louis' heart quiver.
Screw everyone who's ever tried to tell him love isn't gentle and beautiful.
Louis' the next one, proudly stating that he's a nature fairy. He lets a little bitterness seep through his words when speaking about his currently nonexistent wings, because he can't help it, alright, it's not like he's ever been without them before. And then it's Harry's turn, and Louis looks up at him with concern to observe the conflicted furrow of Harry's brow. He lightly knocks his knee together with Harry's to show some encouragement-even though he's supposed to be indifferent, even though he's not supposed to do this anymore-and Harry bites his lip.
"Um. I'm a spirit of pain," he utters slowly, carefully watching Zayn's reaction.
He's right in doing so, as Zayn's interested smile dulls a little as he realizes what this means. Because if Zayn has read all there is to know about the worlds, he most definitely knows what a spirit of pain does. Even if he doesn't know Harry's worked with him, he knows enough to understand that Harry can read off, categorize, and use all the pain he's ever felt with one simple gaze.
"Right." He purses his lips. "That's... Nice?"
"Not really, no," Harry deadpans. "Don't worry, though. I won't pry."
Zayn swallows and nods. There's a long conversation to be held here, Louis can almost physically touch the unspoken content that desperately wants out, but it's very obvious Zayn doesn't want to discuss those details in front of more people than necessary, and Harry's short answer tells a similar story from himself.
Louis thinks that if they are ever able to overcome the obstacle that this obviously is to them, they could probably be the best of friends. There must be a lot of mutual understanding between them. Louis decides to do his best to help them get along. It'd be good for both of them.
"So, uh," Zayn starts again once the silence moves into slightly too strained territory. "What are you all doing here together? I mean... Liam shouldn't even know about Earth, right? What's going on?"
"Oh," Niall smiles sheepishly. "Nice story, that. Our portal system is broken. We can't control where the portals are taking us anymore."
Zayn's eyes widen in genuine, taken back surprise for the first time since the conversation started.
"I thought that was-well, impossible?"
"Oh, believe me," Louis mutters. "We did, too. We still have no idea how it could've happened. No one does."
Zayn frowns, pondering this for a second, before he turns to pull up his thick book from where he's neatly put it next to him on the wooden bench. Louis' been wondering as a passing thought what that book actually could be, and he now sees the title; Mythology of the Universes - A Complete Guide. Zayn starts flipping through the pages quickly, eyes skimming over the constellation of letters and spaces.
"There's an entire chapter on only portals here," he explains quickly. "Their history, function, old related legends-practically all you need to know."
"Damn," Harry mutters, "Earth humans get more educated on our traveling system than we do at the University."
Louis' kind of thinking the same. It's honestly unfair, he'd quite like a book like Zayn's one himself. He'd read it all in one night, probably, that's how eager he'd be. It almost irks him that Zayn seems to know more about their worlds, Louis' worlds, than Louis does.
"Ah, here!" Zayn exclaims and stops at a page, pointing into his book. "You don't think it may have something to do with the Powerhouses? Or have you looked into that already?"
Harry goes completely tense by Louis' side at the exact same time as Niall lets out a drawn out "oh", and Louis doesn't understand a thing. He looks over to Liam for confirmation that he's not the only one, and he seeks peace in the way those puppy-like eyes are darting all over the place.
"Every world has a Powerhouse," Zayn reads. "The Powerhouse is a prominent place, building, or other type of impressive work which symbolizes each of all the worlds. It contains every magical power that every God and Goddess represent, binding together a force field where the magic thereby flows and flourishes from. It is the reason magic has the capability to function in our worlds, because just like everything else you create by hand, you can't make it out of thin air. You need basic tools and material-and you need a source. Varying from world to world, the Powerhouse contains different amounts of magical powers based on what's necessary and acceptable in that very universe. Once a type of magic is submitted to a powerhouse, it'll stay there forever. The only exception from that rule is the lightning and electricity creating powers, which need to be adjustable since they represent the function of the portals, and the portals-as earlier mentioned-are constantly moved, removed or renewed."
He closes the book with a loud thud, looking at the other three expectantly. "What if someone messed up the electricity bonds?"
Harry doesn't say a word. Niall, on the other hand, looks like someone just handed him the solution to every single one of his problems on a silver platter. That's how wide his grin is.
"Zayn!" he cries. "You're a genius! How come no one's looked this up before? We need to tell people to investigate this!"
"And how are we going to do that?" Harry asks, voice peculiarly distant. "We're on Earth. Who is there to ask? Who can actually make a difference?"
Niall's smile fades. "Fuck. You're right about that. Shit. We may have to figure something out there."
The conversation treads on from there in rapid speed-Niall and Zayn seem too caught up in discussion of portals, and Liam seems too caught up in Zayn, to notice Harry's weird behavior. Louis, though, when no one else pays attention, turns to the spirit with narrowed eyes.
"You know so much more than you let on," he says. It's not even close to being a question.
Harry stares firmly right back. Louis can see his jaw clench and unclench.
"I know nothing that can help us," he replies, every syllable receiving elaborate stress to emphasize how final his words are. "And that's what's important."
Louis huffs and shakes his head. One day, he thinks, one day he'll squeeze the truth out of Harry.
He turns his eyes and attention back on Zayn and Niall, Zayn looking kind of dejected now.
"So you'll have to leave sooner than you thought, then?" he confirms.
Niall nods apologetically. "Maybe. I'm really sorry, Zayn. I promise I'll try my best to let us stay for as long as possible, and I promise I'll find a way for us all to meet again as soon as the portals are fixed."
There's a slight bitter tone to that last bit, and Louis understands that this must be awfully energetically draining for the cupid. It's like fate's playing a game with him, pulling him towards his goal just to push him right back to where he started. Louis does feel a little bad for him.
Zayn nods, looking down on his hands folded in his lap. "You're staying for a little while, though, right? Like, a couple of days, do you have that time?"
"Yes," Louis interrupts before Niall can say anything. He's nothing if not kind and sacrificing. "We have time to stay a while, right lads?"
Niall sends him a grateful smile, and Zayn and Liam both perk up at the suggestion. Harry's quiet, but Louis' still meant to be kind of upset with him, so he doesn't really care.
"You'll have to teach us all about the life on Earth," he suggests, looking at Zayn cheerfully. "I'm dying to know."
"Of course," Zayn grins back. "You could start right now by trying a s'more, if you'd like."
The following couples of minutes are spent by Zayn showing Louis exactly how to get the marshmallow perfectly burned-two attempts turns out black, one attempt is dropped, Louis is frustrated-and then how to getly squeeze it into a nice sandwich with the graham crackers and chocolate.
Louis watches the result in his hand suspiciously. Studies the string of white hanging off the edge. And then he shoves half of it into his mouth in one go, and his eyes instantly widen comically, a stifled gasp leaving his lips.
So s'mores might possibly be the absolute best thing Louis has ever tasted in his entire life.
He's beginning to understand where Zayn was coming from with his horrified gaze earlier when Louis and Liam admitted they've never tasted it before. Louis so gets it now, because he doesn't know himself how he's been living without the glorious, mushily sweet taste fresh on his tongue and sticking to his lips.
He can't have been properly living before this, he concludes. It's like all he's experienced until the very moment the first bit of melted marshmallow touched the tip of his tongue has just been blandly passing by in grey shades of nothingness. It's all he can focus on. He doesn't even know if there's some kind of conversation going on around him at the moment, because the only thing he can focus on are these heavenly sandwiches of sugar and joy.
Beside him, Harry is sitting, and he is struggling.
His neck is strained and he's flat out staring at the sticky, white string of melted marshmallow that Louis still hasn't been able to lick from his lips quite yet. Louis is way too caught up in the fantastic sensation his taste buds are giving him to notice anything, but Niall certainly isn't. He momentarily stops listening in to Liam and Zayn's shy attempt at conversation to watch the situation closer, knowing smirk widening on his lips.
"This," Louis manages to get out between the enthusiastic bites, "is my favorite thing."
He finishes his fourth s'more and pointedly sucks his fingers clean from crumbs and drying marshmallow, making a popping sound whenever he pulls off. Harry gulps.
When Louis immediately dives in for a fifth one, impatiently waiting for the marshmallow to become perfectly gooey on the inside, Harry decides to clear his throat to speak up.
"You should probably be careful, pixie," he suggests lightly. "Keep stuffing them like you're doing and you might start choking."
He does an awful job of sounding casual and joking. Louis takes it as a challenge instantly, turning his entire body to make full eye contact with the spirit and then thrusts the whole thing into his mouth at once, chewing with emphasis.
"That's alright," he shrugs when he's swallowed it all, oblivious to the look in Harry's eyes that's definitely telling everyone around him about a very different kind of own hunger. "I don't have a gag reflex, anyway."
And true to his word, Louis doesn't choke on anything, but Harry certainly does on the sharp intake of air he makes, spending the next thirty seconds in a coughing fit.
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