•••yeosang
*yeosang and jongho are the same age in this story
i...can't remember what i last did. did i sleep? was i out?... maybe i'm just too tired.. i plopped on my seat and sighed. suddenly , i heard the abrupt footsteps of a group of students entering the class. so i kept quiet and shut myself up. i have social anxiety and i have a little difficulty in talking with people. and i have a bit of speech impediment which is an 's' lisp and i stutter a little (take note of this ;) ). so students don't like it when i speak to them.
i wish i was never born with social anxiety and speech impediment but i was diagnosed with it at the age of 6. so throughout my whole years, i never had a friend.
it was the new school year. i really want to escape this hellhole because i don't want to see jongho. jongho hated me for the years. i don't want to interfere with him but somehow, i do. all the time. the weird thing is that i don't like him for his bullying. but a part of me had this liking for him for some...weird reason. fuck, i'm a psycho for liking a bully, huh? FINE, CALL ME A FOOL! I'M STUPID!
class was starting and i can't help but look around to see if there was anyone new. well, not a lot of new faces. but i realised jongho was staring at my direction and i quickly turned around to avoid eye contact. ugh, god, i'm doomed.
i finished writing my last piece of sentence and quickly ran out to my locker. the reason i'm so fast is because jongho always bothers me whenever i'm at my locker. but fuck , i am dumb. he always catches up. i was done taking my other books. out of the blue, he slammed my locker door shut and i dropped my books.
"your money. give all of it." he demanded.
my money? but i brought it all from the last of my bank savings! i can't give him the last of my money? i didn't have the courage to fight back. i bit my lip till it was blood red.
".. no.." i squeaked.
"what did you say?"
"no. this is all i have, please-"
he snatched my wallet and took all my money. he couldn't care less, of course, on whether i was going to go broke or no. i gave up and just sighed. he threw my wallet to the ground while i tried hard hold in my tears. i want to cry so bad. no, not in front of him.
i picked up my books and my wallet. i looked inside. empty. great.
...
class ended. well, what's the point of going home if you have no money and you'll have to walk all the way there..? i may as well be stuck in school, i don't give a single fuck...
jongho.
i was about to leave the class and shut the lights when i saw yeosang resting his head on the table, hiding his face. tch.
i walked out and was hesitant. 'he can't possibly stay in the school.. right.' i thought.
shit
i halted and made a u-turn, the rubber soles of my converse shoes squeaked as i went back to the class. i opened the door and heard sobbing.
"w-what am i supposed to do now?..i messed up, didn't i.. i'm sorry, i messed up in everything. i-i can't even ask for proper help.." the sorrowful voice filled the room.
i've never heard him speak like this before. and why the hell is he sorry?
the rush of guilt started to explode in me. i sucked my teeth and went up to him.
"...here" i spoke, dumping his money on the table.
he looks at it and looks elsewhere. i did too. the atmosphere was awfully awkward. but he was stubborn and he laid his head back down onto the table.
"i'm sorry. i don't need it. it's okay" he said in a small voice, slightly muffled.
"stop being stubborn and take it back!" i fired at him.
he jumped in his position and i could hear him cry. oh fuck.
"don't cry. not in front of me." i deadpanned.
he took the money slowly and stuffed it in his pocket.
"now let's go." i told him, not making eye contact.
"..wh-what?-"
"i'm taking you home, i don't care. it's the least i can do to make it up to you.."
he grabbed his bag and stood up from his seat. he looked down as he played with his fingers.
"...thank...you" he acknowledged.
i was too distracted to say anything. so i walked out of the class with him following behind me. as we reached the car park, i turned on the engine on my motorcycle and looked at the helmet.
"wear it" i instructed, handing him the helmet.
he looked at me as if asking me if i was alright without a helmet.
"don't worry, i'm alright with it..." i said, putting on the motor gloves.
i sat on the driver's seat and i see that yeosang was too timid to sit behind me.
"JUST...just sit, will you? it's only for today, don't take it wrongly" i bursted.
he sat and i looked at him again. he wasn't holding on to anything so i quickly grabbed his hands and wrapped it around me.
"hold on tight." i notified.
he wrapped his arms tighter around me and i drove off.
"where do you live?" i asked while driving the motorcycle.
"...opposite of where you live.." he said.
he lived right near me? how come i didn't know.. right, i didn't care about him. wait, but how did he know. you know what, his business is not mine and neither is my business his. i drove faster to push the thoughts away but i felt his arms tighten. yeosang was murmuring things to himself.
"hey, what is it" i asked out of curiosity.
"..."
"i'm asking you, what is it?"
"..nothing. nothing."
"...i heard you have social anxiety"
".. from who?"
"isn't it obvious? the people in school"
"right.."
i could feel his gaze averting me and looking elsewhere.
"you know, not everyone is perfect" i grumbled
"i know that.. but everyone else around me thinks they're perfect because i'm not." yeosang told me softly.
".. well people are dumber than you think, yeosang"
"did you say my..."
"what."
"nothing!.."
i braked to a stop and dropped him off his place. yeosang got off his seat and took the helmet off. he looked down and gave the helmet to me.
".. thank.. you.. again" he quietly thanked me.
".. i'll see you at school i guess... yeo"
i put on my helmet and looked to the front and then back at him. he was feeling his face and he ran in to his apartment building. well, time to sleep. i parked my motorbike in the parking lot and laid down on the bed face down. damn, i was exhausted. even though i didn't do much today. maybe yeosang wasn't a person i would want to hurt..
i don't even know why i hurt someone else. i ponder in my bed, the guilt from before flowing in to my whole body again. i remembered his cries. perhaps i shouldn't be so mean to him. maybe he's going through something. like me.
•••
yeosang
i talked to him. i actually talked to him. AND HE CALLED ME YEO. maybe.. jongho isn't so bad as i thought he is? maybe he just hates me for a stupid reason? i mean!- i know he asks for my money all the time. but he actually has a heart. i heard from students that he's quiet and intimidating.
everyone said jongho was a gym addict. he had very nice biceps, not gonna lie. i know when he goes and leaves the gym, not flexing. stalking is not a flex. that's wrong. i wasn't stalking. that's for sure. anyway, i saw the tattoos on his arm. there were very pretty designs. it was probably his own design. i heard he loved drawing and singing. but no one has heard or seen him do any of that yet.
this is weird. not only am i thinking about the nice things about him, but i'm also forgetting about all the things he had done to me. no,i shouldn't forget. never!
i changed into my pyjamas and slept in bed. yeah, no homework. our teacher is pretty nice.
i sighed and comfortably rolled myself in my duvet.