Reviewer: A_Tiger_Lily
Book: Forced
Author: Genius_MinSwag
Blurb: ⅗
It was pretty good. But I personally think it would be more attractive and good if you add a few dialogues and scenes from the story. It would attract readers and yeah,don't write "Bare with me, it's my first story" like that. It doesn't bring good impressions on others.
You can add a few interesting scenes or dialogues from the story and make it much better than now. I felt excited indeed to read further. But the impression was ruined by the last message in the blurb. I suggest you remove that.
Title: ⅖
Even though these types of titles attract a few people and they read it just because the title says it's a forced marriage or forced relationship. However,I don't feel the same. I gave you marks only because it somehow matched the theme and plot line. The title choice can be better. I have a few suggestion, matching the theme of your book:
Forced to be with you.
Loved by force.
Ruling the heart
Cover: 0/5
I don't think it was attractive or beautiful. The face claims and adjustment are horrible. At first I thought it's one face but with disturbed angle but no, there are two faces and I think they are not doing a good job being held together. The dull and black and white theme is not doing a good job either.
I would suggest you use a colorful scheme with yoongi and a girl's face separately. You can take services from a graphic shop. A few recommendation are below:
Pandora graphic shop by TheCharmsCommunity
Querencia graphic shop by snxwflower
First impression: ⅖
If we count it from the blurb, I wanted to start the book. But as soon as I got into the first chapter which was titled as intro 1,my expectations died down. It was just a teaser so I didn't mind it enough and proceeded with the first chapter. But at that, my expectations died down there as well.
The start was blunt and I didn't know anything about happenings and surroundings of the scene. It was an abrupt start and I was unable to comprehend what's happening. However, I came to the conclusion that it was the scene of that supposed forced marriage.
But as I read further, it was devoid of any emotions and just a plain start and actions of the characters. The actions also were devoid of any explanation. I suggest you use the detailed description of the background and tell us the causes and events in detail. It would be better and would leave a good impression on the reader.
Reader's interaction: 6/10
I have seen the people having interacted with your story and characters. Sharing their thoughts and commenting about the storyline and plot. Even though the count is less, they are attentive and digesting the story.
Plot: 3/10
Nothing unique is seen. What I meant to say is, many have written this type of plot where no one wants to get married and the marriage is just a play. It's not true, marriage and wedding is not a joke which is taken way too lightly in stories nowadays. However, come back to the plot. I felt like there were many gaps in this one. You should keep a track of what's happening and the cause behind it. When I started this, it was so plain and blunt. You didn't tell us the conflicts, emotions, background and scenarios in detail. I am sorry to say, but you need to put in a bit of unique elemental twists. It is usual to find the male or female lead already having an affair, it could be predicted beforehand that something will happen to the one of them, either they will catch their so-called lover cheating or something familiar which happened in this story as well. There is one more thing which I can't understand. At first the lady was avoiding the marriage and just after a few minutes of being married to the unwanted man,she cried because he asked her to sleep in another room. She had fallen for him even after she posted him. These types of gaps and holes make a plot cliche.
Actually, there are a few techniques and elements which can make a cliché plot unique as well. Which contains monologues, metaphor, personification, iceberg. You can give your story a life by describing the happenings, emotions, background in detail which is barely focused upon in many stories.
Twist: 2/10
It has been discussed before as well. Everything is predicted and nothing is unique happening here. The same things happened in most arranged marriages and forced marriage plots. However I think you might add some spice in it by making the female lead run away, then getting caught again by her future husband who has no intentions in marrying her but was pleased to see her daring moves. The behaviors and characters of a story make it enjoyable. You showed the male lead as a total bastard while the female lead is way too submissive. She submits to each and every command of the protagonist and seems like she doesn't have any self respect. You can make her character sassy and not easy to break.
Grammar: 4/10
It is not bad,but your vocabulary and punctuation are really bad. Sometimes, pronoun mistakes, capital letters mistakes and sometimes commas and full stops are missing. I have seen a few grammatical mistakes having tenses problems. To make your vocabulary better and nice,not only for the story, but also for yourself as well. You can act upon the tips given below, I really hope they will help you to improve.
Take a little diary or a notepad, first write all the things in your nattive language present around you in a room or anywhere you wanna start from.
Then start writing their names in English in front of them. Google the words and translate them if you can't seem to find an English word for that.
Now, once you are done with your words in the room,come out from there. Check other rooms,keep notice of each and everything… Around you. I am sure it will help you to improve and increase your vocabulary.
Emotions: 3/10
I am sorry to say,but you are weak in this factor as well. You need to focus on the characters and behaviors of the characters used in the story. The explanation behind the I behavior is much appreciated. But without knowing the real reason behind their practical behavior, we can't feel nor tell what they are feeling. You should focus on their inner conflicts, telling us their inner dilemma regarding one situation. However, you can improve this with a little monologue. Monologues mean talking to yourself. You can put yourself in your character's shoes and see what you might have done if you were there.
Characters development: 6/10
It was fast paced but…. I could see it and feel it. It is the factor nice enough to have marks as I truly felt you were trying. It's good to see how the characters change themselves into better versions for each other. It could be more amazing if it was in slow pace and well explained but however, you did a fair job by maintaining this.
Style: 5/10
Your writing style is neither bad nor good. My purpose is to motivate you instead of demotivating you and making you heartbroken and lose your interest. I don't want to humiliate any of the writers who come here to know the faults and try to learn how to improve themselves. That's why, I am saying your writing style is not the best nor is it very bad. I can see you are struggling and trying your best. All the factors mentioned above put an effect on the plot and storyline. I hope you can consider them and I will see a better version soon.
Overall: 4/10
Total: 41/100
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