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M E G A N
Sitting on a metal table in the prison corridor, I wait in silence as the sun starts to set, sending orange glares through the wide windows.
Dinner just ended and now the group is either getting ready for bed, taking their night shifts or sitting in the courtyard and enjoying each other's company.
The silence in this room becomes deafening as I realize that these are my last moments of secured safety before venturing outside of the walls.
Carl and I plan on leaving early before sunrise but well after everyone goes to sleep. We're leaving from the southwest wing because that's where our guard tower is. Every other guard tower will have other members of the group taking watch over the tree line.
I decide that before I get ready to return to the guard tower, I'll take one last look at this place.
First up, I'll visit story time. I've never actually been, but I want to remember the atmosphere of a group of children invested in a simple story. Those won't come around often these days.
I prop myself up from the table and walk out of the door into the courtyard. I walk my way over to the library and look through the window in the front door.
Carol intently reads a children's book, projecting her clear voice and all of the kids look up at her from their positions on the floor.
A sense of gratitude washes over me when I take in the simplicity of this moment. The moment comes to a sudden end when the door swings open, hitting my shoulder.
Out comes a pale-faced Patrick, the boy looking like he hasn't had food in weeks. He is covered in his own dripping sweat.
"Oh, I'm sorry," He starts to say when he realizes that he hit me with the door.
"Don't be," I put a hand on his collarbone and stabilize him. "You look like shit. Are you okay?"
"I'm going to go yak," The boy starts, grabbing my wrist and taking my hand off of him. "I'll catch you later." He tries to point at me but points in a different direction.
Without a second thought, the boy speeds off and pitifully stumbles toward the entrance of the prison.
"Yeah, later." I speak out, but my discouraged tone makes it sound as if it's more of a whisper.
I shouldn't be saying such things knowing that I won't see him later or possibly ever again after today.
Glenn and Beth also walk into the corridor of the prison. I begin to jog across the small courtyard in hopes that the door won't close behind them.
"Hold the door," I breathe out. Glenn turns around and opens the door for me.
"Hey Megan." Beth says, rocking Judith in her arms.
"How've you been? We don't really see much of each other these days." Glenn says, breathing out a loose, hopeful smile and propping his hand on his hip.
"I've been good, just living in the guard tower." I falsely laugh out. "What've you guys been up to?"
"Just farming with Rick and Carl. Today we had to let the pigs go because they were all getting really sick." Beth says.
"Yea Rick used them to get the walkers away from the fences, it helped out a lot." Glenn sighs.
"Sounds like the fence situation is starting to clear up." I remark.
Although this is good for the whole prison, I can't help but feel relieved that the fence won't be crawling with walkers tonight when Carl and I leave.
"Megan, you want to come with me to my cell while I put Judith down for the night?" Beth says, angling the baby towards me.
"Sure." I state.
Beth and I both pass Glenn a nod as he smiles at us, before walking toward the bathrooms where his newly-built shower system is in use.
"Goodnight guys!" He calls over his shoulder.
I watch the back of his head disappear as he enters the hallway.
I'd stared too long at Glenn to notice Beth start walking to her cell. I quickly walk to catch up behind her just as she's walking through the cell doorway.
"Does Carl talk to you a lot?" Her blunt voice asks.
"I mean we exchange words, nothing much more than that." I simply state. "Why?"
"He hasn't said much of anything to anyone since his mom died and Rick returned to normal." The girl says as she gently rests Judith on her back in the crib.
I stare at her with a blank expression.
"You guys live in the guard tower together so I was wondering if he ever told you anything about it. Even after he was shot, he was such a talkative kid back at the farm." She shrugged. "Then, something about him just clicked."
"Yea, he doesn't make much conversation." The words rolling out of my mouth burn like a lie but technically remain true. "He doesn't seem interested in anything going on around here." This statement, once again, being what I can tell her of the truth.
"Do you think he's depressed or something?" She takes her eyes off of Judith and looks to me.
"No." I state. "I think he's just judge-mental." I shrug.
"Well," She sighs. "I just wanted to see how he was doing. I still worry about him considering he hasn't visited Judith once." The girl doesn't give me time to make any expression before she begins talking again. "I think it just reminds him of her too much. Lori—I mean." She says as she gently rocks Judith's crib with one hand.
"I don't know." I say as I lightly shrug. "We never talk about serious stuff."
"Yea I get that." She shakes her head, making her blonde ponytail flip over her right shoulder.
"I guess I'll try and hit the hay." She says, her Georgian accent coming out in a whisper. "Have you tried Glenn's showers yet?"
"No, not yet." I sheepishly smile at the girl. A ping of guilt washes over me when the word yet leaves my tongue.
"I would say take one in the afternoon because that's when the sun heats up the well-water the most. It almost feels like a hot shower." She smiles and chuckles.
"I'll have to try that tomorrow afternoon." I muster up, feeling the sickness of guilt come over me.
"Well goodnight, Megan." The girl says, opening her arm for a brief side hug.
I take a step toward her and hug her with both of my arms. It's a gentle hug but the moment is enough for her to take her other arm off of Judith's crib and hug me back.
The hug lacks comfort on my part because I'm not one for affection. I more-so hug the girl because she's the gentle soul who actually likes to hug and to sings songs to cheer other people up. She's the type of person to give up her own new clothes to the girl in a detention center jumpsuit.
"Thank you." I sigh, stepping out of the brief hug.
For a moment, Beth's eyebrows knit together in confusion at my unexpected gratitude.
My frantic words fumble from my mouth. "For the shower advice."
☆
I sit atop my sleeping bag on the floor of my guard tower post. The neatly packed drawstring bags, empty holsters waiting to be utilized and the sheriff's hat waiting to be worn again all consume my vision and my every thought.
The eagerness and anticipation in my body leaves me nearly shaking. Saying my own version of goodbye to some of the group was enough to make me borderline nauseated for the rest of the day.
The anticipation I feel is in somewhat good spirits, but my stomach is not.
As the jitters start to get to me, and the sun begins to set, I nervously drink nearly my whole bottle of water.
"You should get some sleep."
I turn around to see Carl climbing the rest of his way into the room before he closes the latch. "You look like a nervous wreck."
He huffs and sits down atop his own sleeping bag. I ignore his comment and what seems like hours pass by, when in reality it'd probably only been twenty minutes.
"You don't have to be afraid." Carl gently speaks up from his corner of the room. Neither of us bother to look at each other. "It isn't so bad."
"You don't feel even the slightest bit guilty?" I speak up, a blunt tone in my voice as I question the teenager sitting across the room.
More silence rings through the air after my voice breaks.
"Sometimes I start to," He states matter-of-factly. "But then I take a second to think about the world when it was just a small group of us out there and how much better it was."
"These people, they're connected to one another. By doing this, we're losing the possibility of having an actual place in those connections." I manage to mutter out, slowly but surely.
"We're not connected here and you know that. If we were connected, we wouldn't even be talking about connections." The boy states in his normal monotone fashion. "I promise, whatever you're feeling in here—it won't matter when we're out there."
I scoff. "I guess I am pretty ready to get out of this prison."
"Exactly." I hear the boy say and see him turn his head toward me from the corner of my eye. "It must suck having been locked up here even before the outbreak."
"It isn't so bad." I say, mocking the boy's previous statement regarding the outside.
"No, seriously." He breathes out. "What was it like in here? You know, when everything was living?"
"I wasn't here for long." I shrug off his question. The only time Carl's ever seems interested in anything is when it's when he's prying about my personal life.
The silence slowly consumes us after my voice rings out. Subtle ringing starts in my ears as a result of the deafening silence, as well as my headache.
The boy and I sit with our arms loosely wrapped around our knees, facing the dark forest. Carl's flashlight remains off and in one of our bags to preserve its battery life.
"You don't look so good." The boy breathes out from across the room. "Why don't you get some sleep?"
I don't hesitate to tuck my legs into my sleeping bag. "Okay."
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1757 words
A/N
I'm SORRY I didn't upload any edited chapters yesterday!! I was half busy half working on a Peter Parker tiktok :0
But I'm shadowbanned so it wasn't even worth the six hours
ANYWAYS THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR ACTUALLY REREADING ??? THESE CHAPTERS ARE HORRIBLE I FEEL LIKE AND THEY GET SO MUCH BETTER TOWARDS CHAPTER 13/14
☆please vote if you want me to be happy ☆