Inspired by Utada Hikaru's "Come Back To Me"
Female reader
Angst and fluff
Requested by AnnaMyoui
warnings: cheating
___
That day started like any other day. You had made breakfast for yourself and your girlfriend early in the morning before she had woken up. It was far too early for you to get up to work, but you wanted Irene to have a good meal before her busy day. Once she was out of the door, you got yourself ready to tackle the day ahead of you. You got your dose of caffeine, got some food in your stomach, and got on with your day. Work was rather uneventful. The usual goings of upcoming deadlines had taken up most of your time and your mind.
But things took a turn when your co-worker suggested a bit of an unwinding session with some others. Since there wasn't anything else to do, you had gone along with it. Before you left the workplace though, you sent Irene a text saying you were going to be home late, though you would probably be home before she would still.
The restaurant was a short walk away. It was new, fancy, and nothing you had expected. The building itself was rather worn after years of businesses going through it, but the inside was cleaned up nicely. From as far as you could remember, it was last used by some shady sushi restaurant. Nevertheless, you and your co-workers settled down in your seats and chatted over some food.
All was going well until dinner was over. The group went their separate ways after getting back to the workplace where your cars were parked. You hopped into your vehicle and made your way back home. Traffic at night was suprisingly minimal, seeing as you were working in the heart of downtown and staring down a red light, you thought of Irene. Maybe she was still stuck in the office and needed a little pick me up. After all, she had seemed rather stressed lately.
So reaching over to your phone that sat on the passenger seat, you called her. A few rings went by and you sat idly while staring at the harsh red light that seemed to stay on for ages. Impatiently tapping against the steering wheel, you glanced out of your window and spotted a familar figure.
With her beautiful black hair cascading down her shoulders, Irene sat alone in a cafe. As much as you wanted to get out of the car, you were still sat in front of the streetlight that still seemed to not want to change colours. So instead, you watched her from afar. You watched her pull out her ringing phone and listen as the ringing stopped.
There was no voice on the other end though. Just silence and your phone light up to show one call that hadn't been picked up.
A part of you was confused, but as you eyed her lone figure, it wasn't long until she wasn't alone. Another figure made their way to her. You didn't recognize her, but there was a sort of familiarity. Like you've met her before in passing.
But before your mind could form any more questions, a honk behind you shot you out of your thoughts. You looked up and the red light that had been mocking you for what felt like hours was finally green.
So instead of figuring out who was meeting Irene in a cafe, you decided you could think about it after you made your way home.
As soon as you got inside, you sat down on the couch and let your mind run free. Hours went by and while you couldn't really pinpoint who it was in the cafe with Irene, you put the pieces together as to why she was meeting with Irene. You didn't like the finished puzzle though and there was no way in finding out if you were right other than asking Irene herself.
___
As Irene tiredly walked through the front door of your apartment, there was a strange tingling in the pit of your stomach.
She was late again.
There was nothing new with her being late. Her job had her swamped basically every day and it was just how her line of work was, but there were little things that simply didn't add up. Like how she avoided eye contact whenever she got home, stating she was too tired and quickly fled into the bedroom or how more often than not she would say she wasn't feeling hungry even if she probably hadn't eaten since lunchtime even if you had made her favourite types of food.
It all started a few months back and at first, you just assumed Irene was late because of work piling up or taking some time to meditate in a park at night, something she tends to do when concerns start building up.
But the signs started adding up and you had put them together.
Being late almost every day.
Not being hungry.
Not picking up her phone ever.
Being evasive and talking very little.
And lastly, the late night meeting.
She must be cheating, you thought to yourself. While you didn't want to believe it, it made a lot of sense.
So as Irene entered the apartment that night, instead of standing in the kitchen with dinner ready for the two of you, you sat on the couch. You looked up at Irene from the couch and for what felt like the first time in a while, the two of you made eye contact. There was a sense of surprise in her eyes. Perhaps she was surprised you weren't preparing a late dinner in the kitchen or maybe she realized you finally figured it all out.
Irene stopped dead in her tracks, unsure of what to say, so you spoke first.
"Welcome home." You muttered as you tried to keep calm. Nerves were firing like crazy as your heart felt like it would burst out of your chest. "How was work?"
"It was work."
Irene recomposed herself as she took off her shoes and as it would most nights, the room fell into silence. It was clear the two of you hadn't properly talked in a while. You couldn't think of what to say and neither could Irene.
Silently, Irene did her usual after-work routine. She hung up her coat and started making her way to the bathroom, but before she could take another step, you spoke up. If she made her way out of the room, there was no chance you could talk to her for another while.
"Are you cheating on me?" You asked in a hushed tone, but the words made their way to Irene's ears. It didn't feel good to say, but there was no getting around the topic.
Irene stopped in her tracks.
The creaking of the floorboards underneath her feet sounded amplified with another silence that hung in the room. You wrung your hands together as the nerves didn't die down. Deep inside, you prayed that you were wrong. You could feel your breaths getting deeper and you were sure Irene could hear it.
You couldn't look up to see Irene's face but you could tell she had looked over to you as the turning of her heel made the creaking of the hardwood floor even louder.
It felt like your heart would beat out of your chest in sheer nervousness.
.
.
.
"What?"
"I asked if you were cheating on me."
The moment you glanced up at Irene, you were met with a dumbfounded look. Her eyes were trembling as she opened her mouth to speak, but immediately closed it, thinking better of it. After all, there was nothing to say in that moment. You knew you were assumptions were right and she knew she was caught. You weren't used to seeing Irene's shocked face and it hurt to see it now of all times.
There was that sinking feeling again.
The weight of years of being together came crashing down on your shoulders.
All of the memories came back in a whirlwind of emotion.
A sharp pain in your chest reminded you of the situation at hand. So did the chilling wetness of your cheeks and the light creeking underneath Irene's feet as she slowly took a step towards you.
"Look," she started as she took another step. There was a moment of contemplation in Irene as she tried to find the right words to say. "I don't know why I did it and I'm sorry for this."
You tore your eyes away from her and looked over to the TV that sat in your living room. It was off and unfortunately, it was like a mirror and you could see everything that was still going on in the room.
You wanted to run, but you were rooted to the couch.
You wanted to scream, but you felt suffocated by the tension surrounding you.
"But why?"
Your voice came out trembling and contstricted. It hurt to speak and seeing the way it affected Irene made it hurt even more.
Irene's expression fell, that much you could tell through the black screen of the TV. What you couldn't see were the thoughts flying around in her head, trying to compile the perfect sentence that would dispel the tension. She knew at that moment though, that there was nothing she could do. She was powerless to stop what was coming.
She dropped her gaze from you to the floor.
"I don't know."
Irene's voice matched yours just seconds ago.
It came out forced.
It came out choked.
It came out impossibly quiet.
And for a moment, your vision blurred. Milliseconds felt like days and the silence became ovewhelming. It felt like your heart stopped and moments later, you heart your heart break. The feeling was of glass shattering into little tiny pieces and it sounded like a clean snap of a flower's stem. It was instantaneous, but somehow it felt like it lasted forever.
Little needed to be said after that. The love that had developed over the years might've lingered still, but the trust was gone. Without trust, there was nothing left. Everything you knew about Irene was flipped on its head.
Gingerly, you pulled yourself off of the couch and towards the front door and while Irene really wanted to stop you, she knew you needed space. So she just watched your back as you made your way out and disappeared into the night.
Even though it was the middle of summer, the nighttime air still felt chilly and as you took in what you were doing, you realized you had no idea where you were going to go. All you knew was that you knew you had to go somewhere other than here. So when the door behind you shut, you brought out your phone and called your best friend.
And on the other side of the door, Irene felt lost and hollow. You were gone for only a few seconds, but the room already felt far too empty now that you weren't there.
Irene eventually moved away from the living room and into the kitchen. Perhaps a glass of cold water could help clear her mind. Maybe all of this was a bad dream, she thought. But as she opened the fridge, she was met with a plate of food with a note detailing how long to warm it up in the microwave.
This was no bad dream and she felt sick.
This was her reality now.
___
That night was unbearable for the both of you.
You found your way to your best friends house and stayed the night there. When your friend asked what happened, you broke down and explained everything. It hurt to talk about it since talking about it made it feel far too real.
Irene on the other hand, spent that night alone. She tried to do her usual nightly routine, but everything felt wrong. All of your belongings were still in the house and it felt like her heart was being beaten every time she looked at something that was yours. She spent hours trying to convince herself that you would come back the next day, but the more she thought about it, the more she knew she was wrong.
And as the following day came around, nothing had changed and reality truly set in.
While you stayed at your best friend's house, Irene found herself sitting awake through the night and as the sun rose from the horizon. She knew she had messed up and she needed to fix it. Fast.
So seeing as she knew she couldn't get any sleep, she dragged herself out of bed and called her friend, hoping she'd have some answers.
A few hours later, Irene was seated in a cafe along with a disappointed looking Wendy sitting across from her. There was a stern look on the younger girl's face as she flicked the plastic tab with her thumb.
If this were the other way around, it would be a regular sight. Irene was usually the one giving Wendy a stern talking to when her loud nature would attract unwanted attention or when her occasional clumsy streak would end in someone's property being damaged.
But this time, Wendy was the disappointed one.
"I'd hope she was mad." Wendy muttered. It only took a few words from Irene for Wendy understand what she was talking about and it was immediately apparent that Wendy wasn't going to be easy on her. After all, you were good friends with Wendy too. Maybe not as close as her friendship with Irene, but good friends nonetheless. "I can't believe you'd do something like this! What were you thinking!?"
Wendy raised her voice and a few people turned her way, but she didn't care and neither did Irene.
"I know I messed up, okay? I just need some way of getting her back."
Wendy tugged at her hair, ready to start throwing coffee or slamming tables just at the idea of Irene cheating. She was frustrated, maybe more than you at this point. "Why!? Just to cheat on her again!?" The younger girl shouted.
"Of course not!" Irene shouted back. "It was a mistake!"
"So now you realize!?"
"I realized it was a bad idea since day one!"
"Then why'd you do it!?"
"Because I didn't think I'd get caught!"
Now Wendy was fuming and Irene's explanations weren't helping. The younger girl stood up from her seat and was ready to tear Irene up about it, but the trembling, averted eyes of her senior stopped her. Wendy saw how regretful Irene was and yelling or berating wasn't going to help her friend feel any different.
So instead, she sat back down, took a deep breath, and placed her hands flat on the table. "So what are you going to do now?"
"I want to get (y/n) back." There was a determination in Irene's voice that wasn't there before.
It caught Wendy off a little. She knew Irene loved you, but not to this extent. Especially not after getting caught cheating. But maybe there was enough for Wendy to work her magic. "And do you have any ideas on how to do that?"
Irene looked down. "That's why I came for help."
"Ah."
Maybe this wasn't going to be as easy as Wendy had thought.
___
Days turned into weeks and things weren't looking good for either of you.
While Irene was still working with Wendy to get you back, you found yourself working far too much for your own good from your friend's house. In your mind, there wasn't anything else for you to do. Going outside was going to remind you of every date you had taken Irene on. All of the date spots were scattered around the area and every corner you turned would lead you right to another memory.
Co-workers would regularly call you, asking if you were alright and you would just brush it off while giving some excuse as to why you were working from home. Feeling sick after some possibly bad food from the dinner with them and not wanting to give your sickness to others was your go-to response.
So holed up in the desolate guest room of your friend Seulgi's house, you spent countless nights working yourself to the bone. You didn't know what Irene was doing, but perhaps it was better that way.
Even though Seulgi knew about what had happened to make you like this and that the pace you were finishing your work was phenomenal, you couldn't keep it up forever.
So when she called you up for dinner and the two of you sat down at her dinner table, Seulgi took it upon herself to try and help.
"You really need to rest once in a while." Seulgi started and while she wasn't the best at comforting people, the least she could do is try. She knew Irene through you and, at least from the outside looking in, everything had been going well. It seemed like the two of you were happy and that was all she could ask for. So she really wasn't expecting any of this to occur. "I don't like seeing you like this."
The fork in your hand slowly lowered down to the plate as you thought about everything that had happened in the past few weeks. The pain that you had felt back then hadn't subsided and it left a bitter taste in your mouth. "I know. It's just... How do I move on from this? Years of being together and being happy... Was it all a lie? I just feel like an idiot."
As your hand let go of the fork and rested against the table, Seulgi slowly and comfortingly placed her hand over yours. "I know it seems crazy and outlandish for me to say, but I know she loved you back then and I'm sure she still does to this day. The love she held in her eyes when she looked at you wasn't fake. That can't be faked. It was too genuine to be. I'm sure she's out there on the streets trying to find a way to get you back."
It should have been encouraging, but it still hurt to hear your friend's words and you felt torn. As much as you wanted to believe Seulgi's words and believe that Irene wanted you back, there was a part of you that was afraid of all of this happening again if you let Irene back into your life. After all, there was a reason Irene cheated in the first place right? You weren't sure if it was because you weren't doing enough for her or that the two of you just didn't have the connection she was looking for, but there had to be something that motivated her to act this way.
"Trust me, (y/n). You weren't the issue and Irene made a mistake. I'm sure she knows it too." It was like Seulgi read your mind as she sat across from you. "Remember when you brought her to brunch with me and Joy? The way she talked about you said all. You might not believe it, but she called you the perfect girlfriend. I remember it vividly and I know she meant it."
A pain started to form in your chest and your mind ran circles. Two conflicting messages, one of love and one of neglect, battled in your head. You weren't sure which one was true and it felt like it would drive you crazy thinking about it.
"I think you should sleep on it." Seulgi snapped you out of your hectic thoughts. "It'll all be clear tomorrow."
So when you went to your temporary room and laid down that night, the chaotic ramblings running through your head calmed down. Like the eye of a hurricane, everything cleared out and one message remained, one that was there since the very beginning of this whole debacle.
You loved her.
___
No matter how many times Irene walked through her front door and trudged into her living room, she was haunted by your belongings. You hadn't gone back to that house since the falling out to collect your stuff and they remained where you had left them. Irene hadn't dared to move them, afraid they would burn her at the touch and remained stationed at their positions.
Wherever Irene looked, the objects seemed to shout at her and berate her every second she spent in a room. No room was safe from the reminders of you and as much as Irene wanted to run away from them, she knew she could only do one thing to save herself from madness.
She had to make amends.
Today, Irene found herself sitting on the couch. It was where you had confronted her about cheating and it sat as a grave reminder of the mistake she made. For the first few days, she was afraid to get near it, steering clear of it to get to her bedroom, but now, it was a source of motivation.
Tomorrow, she told herself. Tomorrow was the day she was going to get you back. There was a fire in her heart that wasn't going to be extinguished any time soon and looking through her texts between her and Wendy, she knew exactly how she was going to do it. She just hoped the days spent between crying and concieving a plan was going to culminate into something fruitful.
___
The next day was rain.
When you had woken up that morning, you were ready to go back to work in person. Your mind was clear after your talk with Seulgi and felt refreshed enough to be able to go to work and do everything a regular working human being would. So when you got out of the shower and picked up your phone, a text sent your mind back into another spiral.
Can we meet later?
Seeing Irene's name on your phone felt like a bullet straight through the heart and it stung. You had thought you were ready for anything that could come your way, but now it seemed like you were back at square one.
Your knees buckled underneath you and you took a seat on the floor before your legs gave out. You stared at the message on the screen for a few seconds, letting out a shaky breath as your fingers hovered over the keys. How were you supposed to answer?
Should you say yes?
Did you need more time to think and clear your mind?
You weren't sure anymore, but you knew you had to give Irene an answer.
So after a few minutes, fingers tapped against the screen and typed out a response. There was some fear in your heart, but also a glint of determination and hope as well that willed you forward.
At the library near my work. I'll see you in 30 minutes.
___
The public library seemed like the perfect place to meet when you answered Irene, but as you sat at the wooden table next to a window, you weren't sure anymore. It was quiet and neither of you could cause a ruckus if things went south, but the quiet was far too quiet for your liking. Even the rain tapping against the window couldn't fight off the eeriness of the place. Perhaps a cafe would have been a better choice, but there was no going back now.
You were sure your heart would beat out of your chest as the silence ate at you. The cup of coffee you had picked up at the little cafe set up just outside of the library entrance was starting to get cold as you stared blankly at the ceiling. The flourescent lights above were your only distraction as Irene nervously stood outside of the window in clear view of you.
You hadn't noticed her stood in the middle of the sidewalk and you probably wouldn't have if you didn't hear the easily recognizable voice of the woman who had stolen your heart all those years ago rip through the downpour that was occuring outside.
At that moment, your heartrate spiked and you were afraid to look away from the ceiling. You muted out the shouting and the lights were now the most interesting thing in the world as you avoided looking out of the window to meet the eye of the woman who had made you the happiest person in the world and also the most pained individual to walk this earth.
But you knew you couldn't avoid her forever and after a few moments, you forcefully tore your eyes away from the ceiling and its harsh lighting to look at Irene.
You knew everything you needed to know at first glance.
There she was, stood in the middle of the sidewalk, drenched in the rain with no umbrella, in public, shouting at the top of her lungs. She always dressed to impress, but today, she looked like she had just rolled out of her bed after an hour of sleep. Her hair was a mess and you recognized the clothes she was wearing as the sweatpants and sweater she would always wear whenever the two of you had time off together to laze around at home back in college. They were clothes you hadn't seen her wear in what seems like an eternity.
"Please come back!" Irene shouted unnecesarrily loud as if she was fighting the rain with her voice. "I know I can't change the past, but I want to make things right! You were always there for me and I regret everything I've done!"
Desperation was the first thing that came to mind. Her voice cracked at the last words and it was as funny as it was painful to see her out there. The Irene that always seemed to be perfect was gone and what was left was a woman doing everything in her power to fight for you. But it was also the Irene you had fallen in love with. The one who was as spontaneous as she was premeditated. The one who was as goofy as she was serious. She was the one you knew you needed in your life, mistakes be damned.
While it was interesting to watch from afar, coffee in hand, you got out of your seat in front of the window and quickly made your way out into the rain. You needed to get the woman out of the public and back into somewhere the two of you could talk. It was clear she wanted you back and you were more than willing to go back to her. There was just some things the two of you needed to sort out first.
As Irene watched you get out of the view of the window, her heart started beating quicker. She had no idea where you had gone and it terrified her to no end. There was hope that you would go out to greet her, but there was also the fear of that moment being the last time she saw you.
But that fear washed away quickly when she spotted you breaking into a half-jog towards her, holding your umbrella over your head.
"Are you insane!?" You shouted before getting to Irene. While there was a sternness in your voice, the half grin evident of happiness didn't go unnoticed by Irene and a goofy smile grew on her face. "You can't do this in public!"
"What better way to try to win you back than to show my regrets to the world?" Irene motioned to the pedestrians walking past the two of you.
"Why couldn't we just talk like civilized human beings? We live in an civil society, you know?"
"But what's more civil than letting everyone know the mistakes I've made and the lengths I'd go to win you back?"
"That's not civil, Irene. That's manic." You let out a sigh to shroud the chuckle building up in your chest. "We need to get you out of here before someone films this and before you catch a cold."
You grabbed Irene's wrist, but she tried to pulled back. "But that's the point! It gives me more reason to fight for you!"
"You aren't thinking straight..." You muttered to yourself as you dragged the complaining and nonsensical Irene to your car and beelined to her house.
As the car ride went on, it seemed like Irene calmed down a little. She looked like a scolded wet puppy and when the two of you arrived at her house, she was sane enough to pull out her keys and unlock the front door. From the moment you stepped into the house, the memories came flooding back. Everything looked like they had been left right where you saw them last. From the shoes neatly lined up to the left of the door to the glass of water you had left half finished on the coffee table, it was like a time capsule from before the incident.
You gingerly walked through the living room and grabbed a towel from her bathroom before handing it to Irene and taking a seat on the couch next her.
It was like that fateful night all over again, though now it was in the morning and Irene was now beside you. The silence was still in the air, the awkwardness lingered in the foreground, and neither of you knew where to start. You stared at the blank TV and Irene stared down at her hands that fiddled with the edges of the towel that hung over her head.
"I..." Irene began, but paused to think about what to say next. "I'm sorry. I really am."
Her voice was back to the timid one from that night as well and it didn't sit well with you. "Let's just start at the beginning. Why did you do it?"
"I don't know. I really don't. You're the perfect girlfriend and I had no reason to cheat on you."
"But you did."
"I did." Silence once again fell, though it didn't last long. "I regret it a lot and I really want you back in my life. I don't think I can function without you here. I've sat alone in this house for a few weeks and it was long enough for me to realize how much I need you here. You should have been my priority all along but I lost my way."
"Would you do it again?"
"I wouldn't. I don't think I can even if I tried." Irene's voice shook as tears built up in her eyes. "You've always been there for me and I don't think I'd ever find someone who's like you. Someone who understands me as well as you do. Someone who can make this hollow corpse of mine whole again."
"I really care about you, Irene. I really do and as much as I love you, I'm not sure if I can jump into a relationship again."
Irene nodded understandingly as she used the towel to clear the tears from her eyes. There was a spark of hope that grew in her chest as she knew that the love was still there. "I can understand that. If you want me to leave, that's fine, but I do want you in my life. As friends or as my girlfriend. It doesn't matter. I just need you here."
"If there's anyone in the world I'd like to have as my girlfriend, it would be you Irene. It's just that I don't think it'll be the same now." You paused and watched as Irene closed in on herself. She brought up her knees to her chest and hugged them close. It was clear she was scared of what was coming and you wanted to ease that fear. So not caring for how damp her clothes were, you threw and arm around her shoulders. "But if we can take it slow, I'll be open for a new relationship. It won't be from square one, but it'll be a new chapter in our story."
With those words, Irene smiled. She let go of the breath she subconciously held and relief spread through her body. "We can't rewind time and it won't be like what it used to, but I promise you that this is the best decision you'll ever make. I'll give you my heart and more, (y/n). You deserve everything. I'm sorry for being a terrible girlfriend."
"I've always loved you Irene, and I think this chapter will be much better than the last."
___
A/N
I have no idea how long it's been since I've had such motivation to write. I don't remember when this was requested and I'm sure the requester doesn't even remember requesting it, so I'm sorry about that, but I think this was the best oneshot I've written to date. It felt really good to be able to write for hours on end after putting this on the backburner after writing like 1k words like a month ago. 5.6k words feels good to write and I don't think there is much if any filler which I tend to do to hit like 3-4k words on other chapters. It might be because the song that inspired this chapter is a song I've loved for many years now but I don't really know.
Thanks for the request!
Anyway, I've heard people talking about how Queendom wasn't what they were hoping after a year of Red Velvet being MIA, but I think it's a great song. After the creation of the RV sub unit and Wendy and Joy's solos, I think it works really well. I actually think it works even without the context of the events that happened between Psycho and Queendom.
Thoughts on the new(ish) comeback?
I also have no idea what's going to be coming out for this book next. I've got like 7 chapters on the go and don't know which one I'll finish next. I'm hoping I have another burst of motivation soon to work on those, but I don't know when that's going to happen. If you want to see who's a part of that list, you can see it on my profile description.
Requests are always open, though I don't know when I'll get them finished.
(Not edited)