Ĺ̵̗̯͝O̸̜̽Ķ̷̆I̴͚̓'̶̦͓̒S̶̯͙͗̿ ̶̨̛̻̈́P̴̦̙͌͝Ö̷̖̫͒I̵̢͛̾Ǹ̶͎͎T̸̛̜ ̶̞͛O̸̺̎̅F̸͓̍͑ ̷̝̀V̵̨̅I̸̢̽E̸͙͝W̸͙̻͝
"Laufeyson. Variant L1130, AKA Loki Laufeyson is charged with sequence violation seven twenty eighty-nine. How do you plead?"
I chuckled lightly, smiling at the wench of a woman who stood before me. She was an idiot of course but I had to give her credit for being so bold in the presence of a God.
"Madam, a god doesn't plead," I informed her, "This had been a very enjoyable pantomime but I'd like to go home now."
She rolled her eyes and continued, "Are you guilty or not guilty, sir?"
I scoffed, "Guilty of being the God of Mischief? Yes! Guilty of finding all this incredibly tedious? Yes, also. Guilty of a crime against the sacred timeline?" I listed, pausing for a moment before shaking my head and continuing, "Absolutely not, you have the wrong person."
There was no lie here. I was an innocent man regarding the ordinance of time and space! I had simply picked up the tesseract which had landed so conveniently at my feet and was transported to a desert in Mongolia. I could hardly say that was a crime. After all, if the time police or whatever they were called were so against me escaping the consequences of New York they should have ensured I never had the Tesseract in the first place. It was my humble opinion that if anyone was guilty of ruining the TVA's sacred plan, they should have no one to blame but themselves.
Obviously, they did not have the same clarity that I had.
"Oh, really?" she challenged, propping herself up on her elbows, "And who should we have?"
I promptly replied, "I suspect the Avengers. You see, I only came into possession of the Tesseract because they traveled through time. No doubt in a last-ditch effort to stave off my ascent to God-King."
She raised a brow, "That's quite an accusation."
I smiled and assured her, "Oh, believe me, you can smell the cologne of two Tony Starks. You speak of time criminals? It's they you should be after."
As I continued to talk, an older man came and sat in the pews behind me. He was dressed simply in all brown attire. He had a tuft of stark white hair on his head with a well-groomed mustache to match. I could tell he was trying to be sneaky about making his way into the hearing. But, he was, unfortunately, failing miserably at it.
"Perhaps," I began, smiling charmingly at Miss. Renslayer, "you could provide me with a task force and resources, and I could return and eliminate them for you."
"We're not here to talk about the Avengers," she said curtly.
"No?" I questioned.
"No," she countered, "What they did was supposed to happen. You escaping was not."
I laughed lightly and argued, "Right. 'Not supposed to happen'. Well, according to who?"
Ravonna glared and reminded me, "The Time Keepers."
"Oh, the Time Keepers, right, right," I said, "Well, perhaps I should speak to these Time-Keepers, gods to gods."
I winked at her, hoping to sweeten my case but this only seemed to make things worse. Ravonna struggled to form a very fake smile and informed me sourly, "I'm sorry, but they're quite busy."
I raised a brow and questioned, "Oh, they are? What are they doing?"
"Dictating the proper flow of time according to their dictations."
"I see," I said, nodding, "Right. And what do you do?"
"Dictate the proper flow of time according to their dictations," she explained, looking at me as though as I was a complete and utter idiot before she continued, "How do you plead?"
I smirked, and with a nod proclaimed, "Guilty." I outstretched my arms, fully prepared to smite all these slaves of the TVA. I thought it merciful to spare them of this reality. After all, who in the world wants to work a nine-to-five job anyways. I flexed my muscles, ready to watch them all crumble but to dismay, nothing happened. I grimaced slightly before trying once again.
"What's going on?" Ravonna questioned, her tone annoyed as I tried once again.
"Hang on," I ordered as the few officers in the room began to laugh, "Just a moment."
"He's trying to use his powers, ma'am," the minuteman to my left said with a chuckle.
"Don't rush me," I demanded before blowing up in frustration, "Damn it! Why won't it work?"
Ravonna rolled her eyes and pronounced her verdict, "The court finds you guilty, and I sentence you to be reset. Next case, please!"
"Reset? What does that mean?" I asked frantically as minutemen came and bound my arms, "What is it bad? What does it mean?'
I struggled against their grips, kicking and pulling away with all my might as I threatened, "Hey! You ridiculous bureaucrats will not dictate how my story ends!"
Ravonna flipped through her cases and mumbled lightly, "It's not your story, Mr. Laufeyson. It never was."
"You have no idea what I'm capable of!" I yelled as the man dressed in brown stood up. Cautiously he approached the stand and said softly, "I-I think I might. Have an idea of what he's capable of."
Ravonna looked at him suspiciously before beckoning him forward.
"Hi," he said softly, smiling up at Ravonna.
She groaned and said, "If you're thinking what I think you are, it's a bad idea."
He nodded and humbly explained, "Okay, I'm just chasing a hunch."
Ravonna leaned forward from her seat, peering over the man like a crazed gargoyle as she said, "If anything goes sideways, it's on you."
"Okay," he agreed simply before narrowing his eyes and pointing out, "I feel like I'm always looking up to you. I like it. It's appropriate."
He shot one last charming smile at her before walking over to me. This man, whoever he was, was awful at sneaking around but quite a savant of manipulation. I had to say I was impressed.
"And who are you?" I asked through gritted teeth as I pushed against the minutemen.
He only smiled, taking a remote from the officers before leading me out of the courtroom and into the hallway. I hastily followed after him, unsure of where we were headed. Not that I cared, I was simply following him as I was sure of the fact that I'd be able to easily overpower him. Thus, escaping and making it back to Asgard just in time to steal the throne.
As I chased his heels, I attempted to frighten him by sneering, "I'm going to burn this place to the ground."
He chuckled lightly and turned to me as we walked. "I'll show you where my desk is, you can start there," he said simply.
I paused for a moment, mulling over his answer. As I did this, I finally caught a glance at the entirety of the TVA. I stopped in my tracks, looking out the large window onto the vast hellscape. Everything was of a copper hue and twisted and turned like a mighty maze. It was chaotic beyond belief and looked like it had been designed by a child. I was far from impressed. But awestruck, I was.
The man paused alongside me, looking out himself as he sighed, "Home sweet home."
"I thought there was no magic here," I stammered as I watched vehicles effortlessly float through the air devoid of any kind of engine.
"It's not real," I insisted as he took me by the shoulder and began to lead me further down the hallway.
"It is, and unfortunately, so it all the paperwork," he explained, "But that'd make good tinder for your fire, though. Come on."
"This place is a nightmare," I sighed, following his lead as he pushed me along.
He chuckled lightly, "That's a whole other department. Now that I'll help you burn down."
We arrived at an elevator and began our descent further down into the bowls of the TVA. He turned to me as the machine dinged as we passed another floor.
"I'm Agent Mobius, by the way," he stated happily, extending a hand for me to shake.
I looked at his hand in utter disgust as he bashfully pulled it away.
"Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?"
"No. That's where you just were," he explained, "I'm just taking you somewhere to talk."
I straightened my posture, looking away from his as I lied, "I don't like to talk."
"But you do like to lie," he countered, "which you just did. We both know you love to talk. Everyone who had ever known you knows that. Especially that Sigyn girl, my god."
My ears pricked. Sigyn. I knew that name. But how? I had never met a Sigyn before in my life. I stared at him, completely confused.
He smacked his lips and continued, "Oh right, you aren't set to meet Sigyn for another few weeks on your timeline. Ugh, what a shame. Would've probably made you a little more motivated to do some good."
"Sigyn?" I asked, "Who is that? And how long have you been here?"
"Doesn't really matter who she is now, not like you're ever going to meet her," he said with a sigh, "As for me, it's hard to say. Time passes differently here in the TVA."
"What does that mean?" I questioned.
He smiled, shaking me gently by the shoulder.
"You'll catch up."